Thunder Knuckles™
A No Good Bastard
XWF FanBase: The 'cool' kliq fans (booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Thu Sep 12 2019
Posts: 560
321,140
Likes Given: 2,970
Likes Received: 1,482 in 412 posts
Hates Given: 78
Hates Received: 25 in 22 posts
Hates Given: 78
Hates Received: 25 in 22 posts
Reputation:
83
X-Bux: ✘727,802
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05-28-2020, 08:40 PM
The Scene opens to Jimmy on Wednesday, May 20th, 2020. Jimmy is in Thunder Knuckles’s trailer. Jimmy knows they’re supposed to be putting out Thunder Knuckles's first promo but Thunder Knuckles is nowhere to be found.
THUNDER KNUCKLES!... Where the hell are you?
Jimmy takes a seat waiting for Thunder Knuckles to arrive. He pulls out his phone because a notification went off.
What's this? Thunder Knuckles put out a promo?
Jimmy sits in disbelief as he watches Thunder Knuckles gets kidnapped by hooded figures and being led to the word of Jesus by Bartholomew. Jimmy watches as Bartholomew instructs Thunder Knuckles to get rid of his xbux.
Yeah, right. Like that's going to happen.
Jimmy's phone notification goes off again.
What's this?
Jimmy looks at his phone.
What the ever-loving shit.
Jimmy is stunned as he sees Thunder Knuckles's bank account dwindle.
This can't be. Thunder Knuckles would never do that!
Jimmy looks appalled and quickly tries to look up this Bartholomew character on google. What he finds isn’t very good.
The Ministry of FUN? what in the hell is that?... A FUCKING CULT LEADER! Thunder Knuckles is in trouble! I have to hurry before it’s too late!
Quickly Jimmy runs out to his car. He climbs in, starts the engine, and speeds off.
The Scene begins on May 25th, 2020. Inside a lavish baptism pool in the shape of a cross with laser lights flickering in the water. Thunder Knuckles, wearing his XBUX Championship, is in the water waiting for Bartholomew to begin his baptism service.
I want to help you get your heart ready for what God wants to do for you, to you, inside of you, and through you. For your baptism.
The fuck.
Join me now in John chapter 5. This should be encouraging for anyone who needs a breakthrough in your life. Thunder Knuckles is there something you want God to do for you?
Well, yea-
Well, there was a man in life that found himself in the same situation and he was in the right place at the right time. Because unbeknownst to him when he left the house that day. JESUS was passing by the pool at Bethesda.
Like the video game company.
Bartholomew ignores Thunder Knuckles and continues.
The scripture read John chapter 5:1: Sometime later, Jesus went to Jerusalem for one of the festivals. It doesn't specify which festival, yet, Jesus makes a detour near the sheep gate, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda. So, there's a meeting within a meeting. In other words, there's another reason why Jesus is in Jerusalem within the purpose of the festival he is visiting. He stops by to see one specific person. The scripture goes into further detail that this pool was surrounded by five covered colonnades. Here, say it with me.
Here.
Bartholomew draws a line on the ground outside the pool with his foot. Before getting into the pool.
Here a great number of disabled people used to lie, the blind, the lame, the gossip, the addicted, the cynical. This is where we jump from verse 3 to verse 5. It’s because most modern translations to the bible don’t have verse 4 in there. Look it up, if you don't believe me. Verse 5, one who had been an invalid for 28 years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned he had been there for a looooooong time. Jesus said there's no use in me bothering with him. I'd be wasting my time.
Bull shit.
Bartholomew smiles at Thunder Knuckles.
You’re right! When Jesus walked by he looked for the worst situation and went straight up to it. Sometimes when we come to church. We think that God can only deal with the presentable parts of our lives. A breakthrough moment can only happen when you're willing to expose that place. THAT PLACE.
Bartholomew points the line outside of the pool. Where he made his line with his foot.
HE asked a question on the surface it seemed obvious, but, when he learned of this man's condition he really asked. Do you want to get well? Now most of us like to believe that God can change our circumstance more than the idea of God changing us. Let that soak in.
Thunder Knuckles is soaking it along with the rest of the congregation. Except for the fact, Thunder Knuckles has been in a pool for a while and is starting to get cold.
There was a pool in Jerusalem near a sheep gate called Bethesda. Here a great number of disabled people used to lay. Let me tell you a little something about everyone you know. They each have a condition. The thing about our conditions is at an emotional and spiritual level. That we’re able to hide more easily. It would be one thing, could we see my emotional state. Well, I could compensate for that. Maybe if you could see my spiritual state. Well, I could cover it in a funny sounding language. You can live with this condition for a long time. Right now, I want you to make a mark with your foot, Thunder Knuckles, in this pool.
Thunder Knuckles does as he’s told. Where something needs to change. When I've done this in the past every single person thinks of a situation. No one tells the truth.
I’m selfish and greedy.
Bartholomew smiles at Thunder Knuckles. You can tell how warm Bartholomew’s heart is hearing Thunder Knuckles say that.
You really are the prophet of Jesus, aren’t you? I want you to let God set you free of yourself. Make your mark Thunder Knuckles and say it again!
Thunder Knuckles makes his mark in the pool with his foot.
I’m selfish and greedy.
Bartholomew dunks Thunder Knuckles under the water and raises him back up.
Now arise a new man in the eyes of the Lord! REJOICE!
Thunder Knuckles leaves the pool with a smile on his face. As Thunder Knuckles steps out of the pool the X on his XBUX Championship belt has come off, the X still wading in the pool, revealing the Television Championship around Thunder Knuckles waist.
Unfortunately for those who think this.
Thunder KNuckles points down to the lower ha;f of the screen to que Todd in the truck for the graphics.
(05-23-2020, 07:28 PM)Dick Powers aka Mother fucking hidden gem Said:
Thunder Knuckles, I LOVE the name. We could hang out, Dick Knuckle! Or Thunder Dick! It works super well... Anyway, I'll pay you whatever you want to take a dive in the match. Like legit anything you want, dude. Much love, peace!
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(05-18-2020, 07:47 PM)Micheal "look a shinny penny" Graves Said:
MG: “YO TK, SORRY FOR SAVAGE. ALL BUSINESS. ANYWAY. HIT ME UP IF YOU LIKE BUX!”
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‘Ol Thunder Knuckles isn’t taking xbux for wins anymore. All xbux from here forward is going to go into the Ministry of FUN and distributed to those that have been screwed over by teammates. I really fucking hope to make as many xbux as possible. Seeing as this year's War Games is full of teammates who let down others. If I was a member of management. I’d be looking over some contracts. Team Atara. Lord, baby, Jesus your captain had such little faith in winning she was replaced by Ms. Direction. Speaking of her evil empire ass.
Thunder Knuckles points down again to que Todd.
(05-22-2020, 06:28 PM)Ms. Direction...Dope name not going to change it. Said:
I’m either knocking you out of this match, or forcing you to go down a man, and unlike Thunder Knuckles, I won’t have a sudden change of heart!” |
How’d she know I’d have a “change of heart” fucking super villains. Mrs. Direction Bartholomew has taught me a lot of things in the last few days. When I wasn’t sneaking off robbing banks and being in Russia. Seeing good 'Ol Jimmy when I shouldn't be seeing Jimmy, at all. Jesus is the truth and Bartholomew is the only one true light to guide us into everlasting prosperity in XWF. So, please stop your evil ways and just beat the shit out of people. I plan to unleash Nahum on your ass. The LORD is a jealous and avenging God, Damn it; the LORD takes vengeance and is filled with wrath, Mother fucker. The LORD takes vengeance on his foes, pay attention bitch, and vents his wrath against his enemies. The LORD is slow to anger but great in power; the LORD will not leave the guilty unpunished, you're about as guilty as they come. His way is in the whirlwind and the storm, and clouds are the dust of his feet. He rebukes the sea and dries it up, like your pussy; he makes all the rivers run dry. Bashan and Carmel wither and the blossoms of Lebanon fade, whatever the fuck that means. The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him, Whatever they plot against the LORD. He will bring to an end; trouble will not come a second time, let's see if you do.
Thunder Knuckles stomps his feet.
A-Fucking-MEN!
Then you have these poor fucks.
Thunder Knuckles point to the bottom and Todd starts the graphics.
(05-22-2020, 06:05 AM)Tula Kealiʻi aka Buttermilk Titties Said:
I was picked exactly where I should have been. I think of all the people selected after me, and I wonder who would have been a better choice. Maybe Thunder Knuckles, the Television Champion? But that would be a massive risk. Centurion doesn't like him, and there's no guarantee he's going to want to even try in this match. Thunder Knuckles could be in the main event, or he could be walking home immediately depending on what mood he's in that day. |
(05-23-2020, 08:51 PM)Centurion aka the dullest guy in the room Said:
And I fully expect to meet Robert Main in the main event. Again, without much of a scratch on him. And he will have Chris Page, and likely Thunder Knuckles, unless he gets paid off, and they will stand there looking like intimidating assholes, ready to pick me apart.
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(05-23-2020, 10:19 PM)Felix Jones aka 22! Bust! Said: "Robert Main, your team seems well off, well besides Low Mo, there is another. Thunder Knuckles. We can all see it happening a mile away. He's going to betray you. |
Yet, ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles is still fucking here carrying Team Main to a fucking victory. Robert Main’s vision is to win War Games and I’m going to fucking do just that. That brings me to Peter Fucking Gilmour. Fucking Legend. Fucking pig destroyer. Fucking G.R.O.A.T. Greatest Rassler Of All Time. Day in day out Champion, I don't give a fuck what anyone says.
Thunder Knuckles again points to the bottom of your screen for Todd to do his job.
(05-23-2020, 09:16 PM)The Legend Peter Fucking Gilmour Said: Anyways, Thunder Knuckles is a narcissist only thinks about himself and getting the most X-bux. You do know that can be fatal right TK? Having a lot of money could be good but what happens when it all comes crashing down? All the money goes away? Where will you be? |
Money’s gone Pete. I’ll be in the loving embrace of the Lord Jesus Christ. I look forward to talking more to you about his loving grace. However, you should really focus on keeping the infighting to a minimum over there on Team , Pal.
Back to Dick Powers, not Peter Fucking Gilmour’s dick. Nice fucking promo, bro, unfortunately, you've been on a team destined to lose. Maybe after the War Games Pay Per View we can talk.
Shawn, your princess shit the bed. Just like your team. Even if Big D is good enough to advance. You’re most likely going to be at a disadvantage. Numbers don’t lie, even though your tweets do. Banking on Doug who seems like he can cut a fucking promo. He looks like a better Michael Graves than Micheal Graves. He’s still unproven in the ring. I plan on exposing the shit out of that. Centurion’s team loses to yours, Shawn, sure, but that’ll be the only celebration you have at War Games.
Red-X and Boris. The myth that is Red-X and the mouth that isn’t Boris. Boris wins, easy too. Which will allow him to enter Team Can’t get right. While Roberts talks about nothing but himself and how he’s as bad as his dad. MasterMind talking about… Fuck who really knows or cares? The Wizard will surely take care of MasterMind. Ahhh, Taco Carne Asada! Taco talking about making me cry? The fuck is this guy on? I went on to win a championship after fighting him… He went on to... What? Oh yeah, obscurity! Congratulations Taco! Taco started talking to Chris Chaos like they are buddies and shit. What came of that, by the way? Jack shit. That's the story of Taco Carne Asada, isn’t it? Jack Shit. So far I’ve held the Television Championship longer than Taco Carne Asada AND I didn’t need a show to celebrate. I put that shit on the line every time Savage airs. Something that cartoon of a man, Taco Carne Asada, can’t say. Then we have Micheal Graves. The man who offered a substantial amount of xbux. I must say if it wasn’t for the power of the Lord Jesus Christ. I would have sold Team a win. Micheal isn’t as dumb as people think. A little warped and A LOT creepy, but still has what it takes in the ring. This is something I personally am looking forward to. The chance to take out legends like Graves, Shane , Peter Fucking Gilmour, Centurion, and even FuZ- Shawn. All in one night.
Everyone give Brian Storm a round of fucking applause, please! For finally becoming useful and not showing up for his team and having Tommy Gunn replace him.
Thunder Knuckles starts a slow clap with a shit-eating grin on his face but shortly into talking he stops.
Tommy Gunn, you need to worry about your teammates cause it looks like they want to attack you more than I do. I just want to beat you because you're in the way. Peter Fucking Gilmour wants to beat the shit out of you because… Well… I'm not sure why. I’m sure he has his reasons. Cute little promo there, bud. Tell me how all that infighting works out for Team .
The Pimped Gun. How the fuck are you going to take orders from Shane now? I saw Shane's last promo. Just sitting there, silent as fuck, and with pins in his face. I wonder what was going through his mind. Probably, how to get out of the hell that he’s caused upon himself if I had to guess. I did notice in the Pimped Guns promo that he thinks because he attacked me from behind. That he thinks he’s some kind of master fucking fighter. Bitch, I can’t wait to get my fucking hands on you. I’m going to mop the fucking ring with you. I’m going to knee the fuck out of your stupid fucking mask. Break your fucking legs and throw you into the fountain on the front lawn of the White House. All while singing “this little light of mine”.
The whole of team is a fucking mess. With the power of Christ, I compel thee, Husk! Send back to us the man with the talent! Not whatever this shit is, Shane! Are you fucking listening? When you're back to normal. I want a piece of that ass! The Husk will do for now but only for now.
I feel like I'm missing some credible teams... Nah, that's Centurion's group and Jenny Myst's group.
Team Robert Main is coming. Coming to WIN War Games! Say whatever you want about Robert Main but he put together a group of guys who WILL get the job done. Follow that shit on twitter #showsup #trueteammate #noreplacements. Thunder Knuckles is coming. Coming to spill blood to baptize our opponents with. Shane’s team first then ANYONE who stands in MY/OUR way. In fact!
Thunder Knuckles pulls out his phone and dials Robert Main.
I'm going to give Robert Main a fucking call right! I'm not done talking shit. Excuse me.
The scene fades to black to Thunder Knuckles vanishing off into "Jesus" mist giving the bird.
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