Thunder Knuckles is standing outside of PPG Paints Arena. He’s smiling at the camera that Jimmy is holding. Thunder Knuckles is dressed to the nines in a flashy suit and some wicked shades. He’s holding a can of spray Lysol.


Alright XWF fans around the world. What we’re going to do today is take a walk from here, PPG Paints Arena. Jimmy, what's the address here?

1001 Fifth Avenue.

Okay, 1001 Fifth Avenue to Forbes Gyro. What’s the address there, Jimmy?


Jimmy seems annoyed that Thunder Knuckles is even adding this to his promo. Begrudgingly Jimmy tells him.


3715 Forbes Avenue.

When I come to this shit hole, Pittsburgh. I always go to Forbes Gyros. It’s one of my favorite gyro places, fuck are they good! Anyway, Jimmy, you have that typed into your phone GPS right?

Yes, Thunder Knuckles.

How long do you think it'll take us to get there?


Even though you can't see Jimmy because he’s holding the camera you can hear him audibly sigh.


Just about forty-ish minutes.


Thunder Knuckles as giddy as he can say.





Perfect! Okay, so, we’re going to walk to Forbes Gyros. While on our way we're going to stop random people and ask them if they know who Tommy Wish is. Pittsburgh is a big rassling city. So, someone is sure to know how he is, right? I mean, he’s been in the rassling business for a long time.


Jimmy’s demeanor has changed as can be shown by the way he chuckled at the thought of Thunder Knuckles being that much of a prick.


We’re going with one hundred percent randoms here. By no means is this set up. I'm just going to stop anyone I see. Alright Jimmy, let's go!


Thunder Knuckles begins walking down Fifth Avenue. Not too many people are out because of COVID 19.


Well, this is kinda fucking boring. Maybe I should have fucking thought this out a little bit more. Oh well.


They continue the journey down Fifth Avenue.


Oh hey, look Jimmy! Let's ask this random lady right here.


The woman is wearing a pink tracksuit and it looks like she’s out for some exercise. She stops herself about six feet from Thunder Knuckles.






Excuse me, miss. Miss. Can I have a second of your time?

Sure. What are yens doing?

Well, I'm out walking to Forbes Gyros.


The lady cuts off Thunder Knuckles.


I love that place!

Me too! The reason I stopped you though is I wanted to ask you a question.


The woman definitely thinks Thunder Knuckles is going to ask her for her phone number. You can tell by the way she looks at him. She starts playing with her hair. How can any woman resist Thunder Knuckles’s dashing good looks and perfect hair?


By chance, Do you know who Tommy Wish is?

Can’t say that I do.

Okay, thank you very much and have a good day.


Thunder Knuckles smiles and walks away. The woman looks upset that Thunder Knuckles didn't ask for her number.


See that Jimmy?

Yeah.

So, zero to one.


Thunder Knuckles sees a man walking down the street.





Sir, one second of your time.


Thunder Knuckles flags down the man with his hand and walks towards the man. While keeping good social distancing practices intact.


Do you know who Tommy Wish is?

No.


The man doesn’t even stop walking and keep going. At this point on the journey, Thunder Knuckles passes the corner of Fifth Ave and Pride Street. Thunder Knuckles walks toward another man he sees but keeps his distance.





Sir, do you know Tommy Wish.


The man looks confused not knowing what Thunder Knuckles said.


No hablo inglés.


Thunder Knuckles smiles.


I’ll just count that as a no.


Thunder Knuckles keeps walking down Fifth Ave When he passes a man on his phone that didn’t practice good social distancing. As the man passes Thunder Knuckles sprays him with Lysol.





Man, what the fuck!


The man said without stopping but looking back at Thunder Knuckles.


Why didn’t you ask him, Thunder Knuckles?

He was on the phone that would have been rude.


Jimmy gives a small chuckle that could be heard on camera and says.


Alright, we have to turn right onto Halket Street here.

Okay.


Thunder Knuckles see a small group of three young men.





Excuse me, boys.

Hey, it’s Thunder Knuckles!

Hey guys, you must be XWF fans, huh? Well, I'm walking over to Forbes Gyros and I’m asking people if they know who Tommy Wish is.


The guy who noticed Thunder Knuckles speaks up.


Yeah, I do!

Oh yeah!

Yeah, he’s the dude who’s best known for sniffing VV shoes and for losing the Xtreme title to Jessylnn Hart!

Fucking right he is and that's fucking GROSS, right? Do you two fuckers know who he is?


One of the other two guys shakes his head no while the last guy says.


Nah, man. We know who you are through you're the XBUX Champion!

Alright! Fuck yeah, I am. Have a good day mother fuckers.


Thunder Knuckles looks into the camera.


What are we at now Jimmy?

One and Five.


Thunder Knuckles gives out a single hearty laugh.


By the way. What that man was talking about was Tommy's first Xtreme championship.

Oh yeah. How long did that last Jimmy?

Thirteen days before he lost it to Jessalynn Hart.


Thunder Knuckles smiles into the camera.


Wow, his big break, huh? Oh, look over there!


Thunder Knuckles sees a fairly sharp dress looking, man. The man has his back turned towards Thunder Knuckles.


Hey, mother fucker, what's up?


The man still has his back still turned towards Thunder Knuckles and ignored him. Then Thunder Knuckles notices someone was behind him but at a safe distance. Thunder Knuckles turns around to greet the next person.





Hey, man Do you know who Tommy Wish is?

No, Brother, I don't. I sure hope you find him though.


Thunder Knuckles laughs when suddenly the man who had his back turn to Thunder Knuckles originally walks right behind Thunder Knuckles. Thunder Knuckles could feel this man breathing on him which means he got too close and turned around spraying his can of Lysol into the man's eyes.






AH! DAMNIT, TK! WHAT THE HELL!

Fuck me, Big Dick Donovan! Quit fucking sneaking up on me and that shit won't happen. Well, since you're here. Do you know who Tommy Wish is?


Donovan Blackwater, still reeling from getting sprayed in the eyes with Lysol for the second time, responds still in pain.


Yeah!

Cheap but one for Tommy. See ya later, Big Dick Donovan.


Thunder Knuckles continues to walk down Halket street until Jimmy cuts in.


We need to take a left here.

Right here?

Yeah.


Thunder Knuckles turns the corner onto Forbes Avenue.


While we still have a little bit of a walk Thunder Knuckles. Tommy Wish did mention leaving the Federweight Champi-

XBUX Championship.

XBUX Championship on the ground and walking away.

I knew he would. It’s the only thing he can say and save face. He couldn’t exactly say that he couldn't keep up with ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles and still be taken seriously in his promos.


Thunder Knuckles makes a jerking off gesture.


He also said he’d kill you in front of a crowd of Twenty Thousand people or a crowd of none.

Ha! I bet he doesn't even know that the PPG Paints arena only holds nineteen thousand seven hundred and fifty-eight fans at maximum capacity.

How do you even know that?

Well, you gotta think of it this way. Every fan pays a price to enter. Then supposedly some of that money is turned into xbux by Vinnie Lane’s bitch ass, to pay his talent. That we never see, mind you. That’s why xbux are important because they’re worth far more than United States dollars.

It only figures that’s how your brain works. Anyway, He also said he didn’t get the job done in 2017.

Shocker. I told you his promo would be pointless.

He also thinks your match has a barbed wire wooden baseball bat in it.


Thunder Knuckles looks into his camera and rolls his eyes.


Tommy, it's verbally beat your opponent with a barbed wire WOODEN baseball bat. You know, Jimmy. I saw an offshoot promo he put out after losing to Atara and her sister, basically, calling me out Jimmy... He was using a metal bat… Tommy if you're going to do it wrong at least get it right.


Jimmy’s small chuckle could be heard on camera again.


He also thinks you pray to an xbux God.


Thunder Knuckles upon hearing this is at the corner of Mckee Street and stops.


What?

I don't know.

Where in the fuck…?

Who knows.

Thunder Knuckles continues to walk forward and see someone.


Hey! You there! With the stupid hat!






The man with the stupid hat stops to talk to Thunder Knuckles but keeps his distance.


Yes.

Do you by chance watch XWF rassling?

Yes.

Do you know who Tommy Wish is?

No, but I know who you are!

Fuck yeah, you do! I have to go take care, ya mother fucker. You should think about voting for Drezdin/Knuckles 2020. We’re all fucked anyway.


Thunder Knuckles tosses the man with the stupid hat a Drezdin/Knuckles 2020 campaign pin and keeps pressing forward. He starts to think to himself. “Not too much longer now till he gets that perfect gyro.”


Hey, Jimmy can you do me a favor and tell me Tommy Wish’s last year on Savage?


Jimmy wastes no time answering the question.


January was a solid beginning for Tommy, actually. He beat Rocket.

Never heard of him.

He beat Dax Harris and an alien named Random.

That's a big fucking deal, huh?

Not really. Then it’s all downhill until June first. When he beat Rebel Star to retain his second Xtreme Championship.

So, what you're telling me is it took Tommy Wish six months just on Savage to get another win?

Yeah.

Does he go on some type of run after that?

No. The next time he fought Savage was in November against Speechless Vonn Prick Hammer and the Big Shank and lost. After that, he didn't get back on Savage until December of 2019 when he and John Black beat Brian Storm and Doctor Trust.

Making high-quality career moves, isn't he? What about Anarchy?

He only appeared on Anarchy four times before his most recent loss to the Themis sisters.

How many did he win?

One.

Against who?

Driller Jaworski.

Fuck, man. He beat a guy who was revealed to have died from COVID 19 on the latest episode of Anarchy. Must be those high-quality career moves again, I guess.

Don't you want to ask about War-

Fuck no!

Why not?

Until Smoking Bob Williams's fat ass pays the TWO THOUSAND xbux that I'm owed. That show means nothing and it's boring. For Fuck's sake, Centurion is the talent!


Thunder Knuckles passes Meyran Avenue and keeps going straight.


Almost there now Jimmy!

Want to know what he said about you in his second promo?

Is it more coherent than 'Ol Thunder Knuckles prays to an xbux God?

That’s debatable. He thinks you’re running for President.

Hold on we’ll get back to that. Hey, Mam!





Do you watch XWF?

Of course!

Who’s your favorite tag team? Is it the T.H.U.G.S?

Who?

Tommy Wish?

No idea.

John Black?

Not ringing any bells. I really liked the Sick Cunts.

Quality.

Oh, wait…

Do you know the T.H.U.G.S?

No… Your Thunder Knuckles, right.

Yes, Mam, I am! I have to go but it was nice talking to you. By chance do you know that DREZDIN is running for President?

Yeah, I do and I know that you are his Vice President candidate.

Fantastic! Thanks for all your help.


Thunder Knuckles looking cockier than Lebron James after winning an NBA championship says.


What's the count Jimmy?

Let me think for a second. I think I lost track...Wait… I got it. Out for twelve people, two people knew of him.

One was Big Dick Donovan, wasn’t it?

Sure was.

Without asking if people knew me, how many was it?

Five, I think. Without asking.


Thunder Knuckles smiles into the camera.


Tommy, you’ve been in this business for how long? Yet no one knows who the fuck you are? That's a fucking shame! I haven’t been in XWF for a whole year yet but more people know who I am than you. That’s fucking embarrassing, isn’t it? Trust me it’s not as embarrassing as what I'm planning on doing to you on Savage. When I meticulously pick you apart. Like I did in this promo.


Thunder Knuckles finally arrives at Forbes Gyros at 3715 Forbes Avenue. He walks up to the door to open it but it’s locked. That’s when Thunder Knuckles notices a sign on the door that reads:


Due to the COVID 19 virus, we are closed.


SON OF A BITCH! All I fucking wanted was a goddamn delicious gyro! Now all I get is to walk back to PPG Paint Arena knowing that my promo was more informative and far more entertaining than anything Tommy Wish has put out all year! Just by telling everyone how to get to this fucking wonderful gyro shop, walking from the arena. After this fucking pandemic is over, of course, because they’re fucking closed!


Thunder Knuckles smiles again into the camera.


That’s how you verbally beat someone with a barbed wire WOODEN baseball bat, Tommy. See ya on Savage, bitch. You can be as violent as you want to be Tommy, because at the end of the day. The XBUX Championship is coming home with ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles. Right where it belongs.


The scene fades to black on Thunder Knuckles’s smiling face.