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B.O.B. D · (03-14-2020)

Atara Themis thinks she's the future face of the company............................... and she's right. Unfortunately for her, though, that future isn't NOW. Not with me around, at least. March Madness may very well be my final chance to reach the top of the mountain and, as long as I'm climbing, NOBODY is safe from having their lines cut courtesy of Big D. Not even Atara Themis.

She wanted me to take a look in the mirror, well I did and do you know what I saw? A man in his prime, poised for greatness the like of Sarah Lacklan last year...............if not MORE. I saw the guy who won a Tournament in the Spring of '05, defeating 3 other men on his way to becoming NWF World Heavyweight Champion. The former Xtreme AND TV Title holder who DESTROYED the ceiling Centurion mistakenly set too low for a talent such as myself. Staring back at me was none other than the next face of XWF:

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No, it's not Atara Themis(although that WAS the look I'd been going for). As I had done before with Lux, I decided it was in my best interest to try and get inside the head of my opponent. Not in an intimidating way(let's face it, who's gonna be afraid of Big D in drag?), but rather an attempt to see how Atara thinks. What she feels. Anything that would help ensure a victory for myself come Saturday.

DING! DING! DING!

The familiar sound of my doorbell ringing filled the house like it was Notre Dame, causing me to exit my bathroom and head for the front door to greet my guest. I opened the door and was met with a familiar sight.............

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"Hello, 'Fuzz,'" I welcomed in a stereotypical female voice, motioning for Ned to come in.

"I hate that you convinced me to do this," Ned expressed with regret. "This is a terrible idea."

He may have been right, but there was no turning back now. "Well, Ned, you AGREED to this terrible idea, so how 'bout showin' a little spirit and getting into character?"

Ned gave me a blank look, before asking me the question that no doubt was on everybody's minds. "You're not wearing the thong, are you?"

"Are you asking as Ned, or Fuzz?" I chuckled.

"............both."

"Good man," I said, happy Ned was willing to, at least somewhat, go along with my plan. "To answer your question, no I'm NOT wearing the thong....."

"Thank God."

"Atara struck me as the really dirty type," I casually explained, causing Ned to facepalm my sexist remark. "She seems like one of those women who'd wear a dress without anything underneath, hoping some random guy follows her up the stairs to get a peek."

"You haven't really changed much, huh?" Ned mumbled from behind his hand, before realizing the underlying meaning behind my statement. "Wait, are you telling me you're not wearing any underwear?"

I shook my head.

"Goodbye!"

Ned went to walk away, but I shuffled forward and blocked his path. "Give me a break, Ned. You agreed to dress up as the man who beat you at Cuntfest; hang out with your buddy, knowing full well he'd be in drag; but you draw the line at being in the same room with a man going commando???"

Ned had no idea what to say, as he just stared at me in disbelief.

"You wrestle half-naked men for a living! Jesus, it wasn't like I was gonna drop a pencil in front of you and bend over to pic..........."

"Okay! Okay!" Ned busted out, horrified at the picture I'd painted for him. "Can we just get this over with so I can go back to preparing for Engy?"

"Of course," I agreed, happy to see some fire out of Ned ahead of his big match. "That's why you're over here............ unless you want to eat some brownies again."

Ned glared.

I took the hint. "Right, right, on to business." I walked over to my desk and grabbed a piece of paper off it. "Here it is, A Day in the Life of Atara." I examined the list I made of things I knew Atara did, with a checkmark already on the first one: Jump Rope

"You jump roped?" Ned asked, seemingly amused at the thought.

"Yes, and it went about as well as you'd imagine," I admitted, remembering all the bumps and bruises I'd taken thanks to my clumsy feet. "It was pretty much a train wreck."

Ned let out a laugh when, all of a sudden, the front door flung open and my wife walked in with a bag of groceries in each hand. She gave Ned a smile, before turning to me. You could see the shock in her face, as she took a step back, eyes bulged open at the sight of me.

"I knew you two were gay," she sighed before shaking her head and heading for the kitchen.

"Great, now my wife thinks we're cucks, too," I groaned, throwing my arms in the air.

After an awkward moment of silence, Ned spoke. "I think we're done here, right? We've embarrassed ourselves enough for today."

"WHAAAAAAT???" I blurted out, offended that Ned was willing to give up so easily. "We haven't even begun!"

A visibly annoyed Ned looked back down at my list and yanked it from my hands. "Grind on Fuzz?!?! Are you Vulcan kidding me, D?! What the hell do you expect to learn about Atara from THAT???"

"..................I don't know," I admitted, starting to agree with Ned that maybe this WAS a stupid idea. "But I wasn't gonna ACTUALLY grind on you; I would've put a fluffy pillow between us so there'd be no contact."

Ned took off his Fuzz wig and dropped it on the floor. "I swear, man, sometimes you're too much."

Ned walked over to the very chair he'd gotten unknowingly high in a few months ago and sat down. I followed Ned's lead and yanked my own wig off, tossing it on the couch before plopping down. I was extremely disappointed. My attempts to mock past opponents through parody had always been successful up to this point. I'll never forget the time I came out as Kid Kool and went on about how much I wanted to give my X-Bux away. In hindsight, him and Thunder Knuckles would've gotten along great.

"You don't have to go to these sort of lengths, D," Ned spoke calmly. "When you spoke at that elementary school, up until the point where a kid got hurt, you were HILARIOUS! That time you created board games for both Gilly AND Mastermind, people genuinely wanted to play Super Dick and Master Mind!"

"What's your point?"

"My point is that everyone already knows you're entertaining," Ned pointed out. "What they're waiting for is you to take the next step. Win. Get on a streak so hot no-one can deny your claim to the crown. If you want to become King D, you're gonna have to do what you do best: speak the Cold, Big D Truth."

"You mean the Cold, Notorious Truth?" I asked, getting pumped up.

Ned nodded with a grin. "The only thing cosplaying as Atara will do is get you mocked. Remember how bad Lux made fun of you for wearing a thong? She created a Twitter account just to tell the world about it! You can't tell me Atara wouldn't have a heyday with Big D in drag."

"And taking shots at Fuzz is only gonna drag him into your business," Ned continued, bringing up a valid point. "It's a good way to get yourself screwed out of the tournament......... AGAIN."

This was exactly why Ned was my partner, he had my back despite the fact he had his own match to worry about. Even though he thought my idea was garbage, he was willing to give it a shot because that's what friends do: the stupid shit you come up with. Ned was able to see things the way they were, and help set the record straight in order to guide me along the right path.

"Thanks, Ned," I said with appreciation. "Before you go, can you do me a favor?"

"As long as you put some Cold, Big D pants on!" he replied, blatantly looking away and pointing in the direction of my spread legs. I'd somehow forgotten about the dress, and must've accidentally flashed him.

I quickly hopped up and went into the bedroom, where I changed into a more appropriate ensemble of blue jeans and a gold Rams shirt. As I reentered the living room, Ned was on his feet stretching.

"Much better," he exhaled with relief. "So what do you need me to do?"

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone, opening up the camera app. "I want you to record something for me," I explained, handing the phone to Ned.

"A Promo?"

"A fuckin' Promo."

"Just let me know when you're ready," Ned said with a reassuring nod. "Just remember, for your own benefit, leave Fuzz out of it. You're facing Atara, not her boyfriend."

"Yeah, yeah," I shrugged Ned's words off, before giving him a thumbs up. "Ready."

Ned responded with a thumb of his own, before touching the record button on my phone.

"Congratulations, Atara," I began in a condescending tone. "I said you'd win a Championship and, sure enough, you did............ it's just a shame it wasn't one with a little more relevance. But I'm sure you've already heard enough of that from Fuzz......."

Ned let out an "Ouch" from the other side of my phone, as it didn't take me long to mention the Xtreme Champion. I could see me look of disapproval on his face, but it wasn't gonna stop me from saying what needed to be said.

"I'm assuming he's kept his mouth shut, though," I continued, remembering all the flak I'd received from him. "Maybe he congratulated you, treated you like a REAL Champion, all the while believing the exact OPPOSITE."

I paused for a moment for dramatic effect, feeling confident in the words I was speaking.

"Do you know WHY Fuzz would do that, Atara? Because he knows you're gonna lose Saturday night, and doesn't want to tear you down over your consolation prize. He's been in the ring with me, that belt around his waist used to be mine! We were forced to team up, but managed to coexist well enough to walk away with a W. When him and Amjetkun eliminated me from Lethal Lottery, it wasn't without questionable circumstances. Fuzz can troll me all he wants and act like Noah didn't interfere, or that Donovan Blackwater wasn't the legal man, but deep down he knows the truth: Big D didn't lose Lethal Lottery, Lethal Lottery lost BIG D!!!!!!"

My body trembled, as flashbacks of my matches with Fuzz haunted me like a bad PTSD episode. It was something I hid deep within the bowels of my soul, the impact losing to him had on my career. And I wasn't referring to Lethal Lottery, either. Ever since Fuzz beat me way back at Relentless, I'd been on a downward spiral that seemed like it was never gonna end. I held inferior Titles, lost important matches, and couldn't win a random drawing to save my life.

All of that changed with my victory over Peter Gilmour, I'd finally taken back ahold of my career. No more games, no more Lady Luck, just me showing CCP & Robert Main they were smart for trusting in me. Had it not been for a last second reversal by Ned, I'd be on a three match win-streak preparing to add a fourth.

"Atara, you called me The Engineer's whooping boy, said I was expendable............" I barked through gritted teeth. "Well, at least I'm not a parasitic whore who leeches off someone just to advance my career!"

Ned's jaw about dropped to the floor, not expecting to get such a harsh reaction out of me. I was mad. Atara had been here half the time I had, hasn't accomplished a damn thing other than losing close matches(something I did ALOT at the start of MY XWF career), and yet she's got the respect of the fans and lockeroom alike. By the time I'd reach this point, I Captained a winning War Games team, took the Universal Champion to the limit, AND won Superstar of the Month. Atara shakes her tits and people give her a standing ovation. What do you expect with the desperate fucks around here?

"Let me tell you YOUR place, Atara," I spat out, my arms flailing out of control. "You're MY stepping stone, a rung on the ladder towards the top of March Madness! This is Twent-D Twent-D, bitch; do you really think I'm gonna let YOU spoil that?! I'm the career killer! Go ask Thaddeus Duke what happened when he got in Big D's way! Oh right, you can't, because HE'S GONE!!!!! Just like your pussy ass boyfriend at the end of the month! Fuzz can't stand the thought of calling me 'King D' SO MUCH, he's running away before he'll have the chance."

I was worried Ned might drop my phone, as he looked absolutely awe struck by my low blows to Mr. & Mrs. Fuzz. He unleashed a monster by telling me to speak the truth, and I was grateful for it.

"I'm not coat-tailing Ned's wave into March Madness, I'm riding side by side with it! You know, like your boyfriend did with Noah heading into Cuntfest. Funny how he basically let Noah pick out the pay-per-view name, makes you wonder who the REAL cuck is. The three of you are an episode of Jerry fucking Springer! Atara rubs on Fuzz, Noah wrestles her dressed like a street walker........what's next? Is Fuzz gonna bang Vita???"

"I hope you've been doing more than jumping rope, 'cause if not, it's gonna be a VERY boring match. I'm gonna snap you in half like a twig while Fuzz screams like a little girl! You're my vengeance. I'm gonna leave you broken in the center of the ring, and give Fuzz the bird as I walk away, laughing. After I'm through, Gilly won't even want to touch you!

"You could've taken my compliments, kept your mouth shut, and prepared yourself for a WRESTLING match; but instead you had to awaken the dragon! Now that I know it's an Xtreme Rules Match, I'm gonna use you as example of what happens when you disrespect the D! It doesn't matter who else advances, because after I make Fuzz cry with how badly I've beaten you, they're all gonna drop out in fear. And that ain't no story, it's the Cold, Big D Truth!!!!!"

I abruptly walked out of the camera's sight, as Ned turned it off and handed it to me. While I uploaded it to XWF's website, my partner just stared at me.

"What?" I asked, looking back up after posting the video.

"So much for not mentioning Fuzz........."

"Who the fuck cares? He's leaving in two weeks, fuck 'im!" I said without a care.

"Aren't you afraid he's gonna interfere in your match?"

"If he wants to make his girlfriend look weak by holding her hand enroute to a victory, he can try all he likes," I spouted with confidence. "I'll break him, too. He won't even make it to March Madness for his send-off if he sticks his nose in my business!"

Ned went silent for a moment, unsure how to feel.

"Come on, man, I'll buy us some lunch," I changed the subject, trying to lighten the mood.

Ned smiled and nodded. "That's fine, but we should probably invite your wife, otherwise she'll think we're going on a date."

"Good call."

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