The scene opens to a trashed hotel room. Blankets cover the floor, the mattress too. That office chair and desk that seems to always straddle the most conveniently placed power socket? Stacked on top of each other and barricading the door. Sitting on the only thing that hasn't been touched, a couch, is an unconscious Katrina and Luca, staring off into space with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

"So, the time has come once more for Luca Arzegotti and Scott Charlotte to meet in the ring. This time, we're against each other. Does any of this matter? Probably not.

Scott, proving once more how much of an asset he is to any team as he gets the shit kicked out of him by Unknown Soldier for the entirety of our match. Who was the one who got the win for us Scott? Oh yeah, I was. Just like I was saying all week, Scotty Charlotte would disappoint in his big return to a main event in who cares how long. However, he'll try to switch the blame over to the one who won the match because he can't handle a loss like I can.

Because I honestly don't care.

That's why I cut promos while under the influence.

That's why I make fun of myself.

He can bring up this that and the other thing about things I said in an attempt to get under Soldier's skin, something I did successfully might I add, and try to use it as proof that I somehow do care.

Y'know, just like CM Punk did.

Because Scott Charlotte is incapable of producing an original thought at any point in his entire life, and he thinks he can beat Mr. Satellite?

He thinks that an impromptu brawl could be a worthwhile excuse to shoot himself into the main event of Shove it?

Sorry Scotty, I'm not there to carry you on my shoulders as if I were a fireman and you a survivor trapped in a burning building.

You're a disappointment, a hack, a lost cause. The only cause of intrigue you had was that you were returning, and after the lackluster display you showed on Saturday in the main event, you'll be lucky to be in another main event again during this run.

Oh, but don't worry! You can leave like NeoNero's done whenever he fucks up, come back in a month or two and be ready to suck again, but sucking in a main event. You might even get a shot at Satty by that point.

Just remember next time that Matt Lennox isn't an opponent. He's a glorified punching bag, so inept that he couldn't even beat you. Mr. Lennox is not a challenge for even you, and the struggle you showed while facing him was just more proof of how far you've fallen.

Or have you? You could've sucked all the way from when you were here last. It's not like I or anyone else knows or remembers. If I ask the average XWF viewer, they'd only know that you're returning because you proclaim it to the world like it's some kind of important fact.

All it proves is that you're a has been. Or possibly a never was.

I'm a washed up never will be, but I'm honest about it. You have too much pride to say that about yourself, don't you?

If that's the case, just sit back and watch me steal your pride. The same way I steal victories and main event opportunities from the work horses of this company without doing a damn thing to earn them.

Like Crimson Cobra, who try as he might isn't that interesting.

Like Brian Braxton, who try as he might isn't that threatening.

Like you, who try as you might, you aren't good.

Your ring work?

Abysmal, no redeeming factors.

Your mic work?

You're really good at going after Ann Thraxx, but who isn't? You really told Matt Lennox, although all I really wished while listening to your rambling was how awesome it would be if Mark Flynn was here to go against Lennox.

Y'know, the same Flynn who made his career by destroying rookies'. The man who will do the same to you this Wednesday because as much of a veteran as you are, you're just like these faceless, intrigueless, vapid cunts we call rooks around these parts.

And fuck it, because I haven't yet...

GREAT JOB BEING THE DEAD WEIGHT I SAID YOU WOULD BE, YOU FUCKING DEAD WEIGHT CUNT!"

Katrina's jolted awake by the random yelling as Luca takes a drag from the cigarette.

"What the fuck?"

"Sorry, just doing what Charlotte would do if he was anything worthwhile in our match is all."

"Oh yeah... Don't you have another opponent this week too?"

"I don't think so..."

"No! I'm sure you do! It's like Crimson-"

"I have to go against the Dong? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Luca begins to laugh uncontrollably at the last comment. He takes another drag from the cigarette, which Kat snatches out of his hand and takes a drag of as well.

"No, it's like Crimson-"

"Deadly? What a return!'

"NO! The other one."

"Other Crimson... Cobra? This'll be easier than I thought!"

He reaches into the cushions of the couch and pulls out a baggie of cocaine and dumps the contents onto his hand.

"I gotta be really fucked up to talk about Cobra..."

He presses his nose to the back of his hand and snorts every molecule of the white stuff.

"Ah, that's better, where to begin?

Ah yeah, the fact that this guy manages to be the weakest link of a team with Knightmask! The Crimson Knights, how creative, did it take you all day to think of that name? I mean, it makes my job so much easier!

However, I'd rather not do that right now.

Hey Cobra, remember all the times you lost to Neil Capra? You know, the guy who you were so scared of that you didn't even show up to face him the most recent time? Or how you supposedly having a match with Paul Heyman is supposed to make us think you're tough?

Your pride is getting on your case way too much. Just sit next to Scott and watch as I take your pride and sell it to prostitutes. Fuck your pride, you don't need it, I'm the most successful one of us and I have none!

I have nothing left but the need to fuck things up.

Just like Saturday, when I fuck your hopes of winning this match to prove that you aren't being carried Knightmask, Cobra.

When I prove that your little return was just an excuse for you to get drug money, Scotty.

...


...


...


...


Deuces."

The scene fades out to the regularly scheduled programming.