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(01-16-2013)

[02:15 PM 01/14/2013]

When we last left off, I was touching myself at a diner in Chicago to pictures of a date between Shane

(OR IS IT SHANE

?) and Sincere Lee Wild (OR IS IT SINCERE LEE WILD?) I'm sorry, I wasn't touching myself. I was just salivating over the sight of these two lovebirds engaging in conversation over some hot coffee.

You'll be my biggest story, Shane

, just as I'm sure you'll be Sincere Lee Wild's biggest story. But just how big? How far are you willing to take your crime?

I push the stop button on my recording device as the couple begin to wrap up their lunch date. What's Carvers next move, I wonder. Perhaps a walk through the park, or maybe he decides to get her even more wet with a canoe ride in the lake nearby.

I time it just right as they both me and the couple stand up at the same time. Shane

(?) guides his date out of her chair and into the walkway when all of a sudden...

Me and Shane sandwich his date in between us as I intentionally bump into them. Of course, I play it off as though it were an accident. We stay sandwiched for a duration of five seconds; long enough for me to enjoy the moment. My hard on pressed against Sincere Lee Wild's (?) crotch while Shane's pelvis surely collided with her rear end. This could be a position that all three of us could really enjoy. If only it had lasted longer in this moment. I hold my nipple as I speak to them.

"Pardon me folks. I was just trying to get by here. I didn't mean to bump into you like that."

The couple just stare at me, sort of in shock. What is this man dressed in a gold one piece suit and face paint doing poking into them like that? If you only knew, Shane. I'm the creeper in your window, businessman. I'm the reason that you lock your doors at night. And I'm the reason why you get that uneasy, tingly feeling deep down inside when you know something isn't quite right. But don't fear me, Shane. I'll be your greatest narrator. I'll narrate the best damn Shane

story of all time. We can tell the story together.

But for now it looks like this story has reached its most climactic ending. And I feel like I just had a climax in my pants.

I slowly rotate my body, still holding my left nipple, to let Shane

(???) and Sincere Lee Wild (???) pass by. They avoid all eye contact with me obviously. This is where things seem to die down.

You see, the woman filling in that lovely dress wasn't Sincere Lee Wild.

And I must confess at this time that the amazing chest inside that collar shirt did not belong to Shane

.

My greatest fear seemed to have come true. Still, I needed to examine the evidence. So I inspected their table from corner to corner. I dipped my finger into the small droplets of coffee left on the surface, and tasted it. It didn't taste anything like how I would expect

to taste.

I look down at the cheque on the table. It's signed, "Shawn Carter." What a disappointment.

I swipe the tip that Shawn Carter so graciously left the waiter. I clean, crisp twenty dollar bill. Not nearly enough to satisfy my hard work today, but it will do.

I duck out as I notice the waiter making his way over to the table with a hot, wet cloth in hand. Oh Mr. Waiter I'm so sorry, but you'll have to look elsewhere if you seek appreciation for an honest day's work.

For now, I will take these pictures home and do what I want with them. Perhaps I will use some photo editing software to fix in the real Shane

's and the real Sincere Lee Wild's faces onto these pictures. You can see what trouble I cause in my upcoming issue of xL.

Until then...

XLXL
frederick xander levesque

[Image: Goldust-And-Kaitlyn-in-Warm-Hug.jpg]

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