I find myself laying on the mat gasping for air. My body feels like it's on the brink of breaking down. Cadryn has been pushing me harder than I ever would have expected him to. For a guy that comes off like such a clown, you he sure does take his training seriously.

Alright sugar, you've rested long enough.

I hold up a finger and nod my head in an effort to say, “give me a minute”. Cadryn shakes his head and walks to the other side of the ring. I can't help but feel like he is disappointed in my efforts so far. What am I even doing here? The air is filled with the smell of sweat and, I don't even know… swamp ass? Whatever it is, I'm not a fan. This isn't my usual environment. I'm a very clean and pampered guy if you haven't noticed, but I've committed myself to this training. I plan on teaching John Black a lesson in humility, and what better way to do that then by serving him up a loss in the main event of Savage, courtesy of everyone's favorite Savage general manager.

JT, are we here to train, or are you planning on laying on the mat all day?

He's right, I'm not going to accomplish anything unless I get up and push myself to learn. Take Cadryn for example, he's done nothing but proven himself lately. If an ounce of that determination could somehow fall in my lap, I'd have no conceivable doubt in my abilities.

Look, boss. I ain't much for beating around the bush so I'm just gonna give it to you straight. You don't really have what it takes, but neither did I. People spend their time writing off those they feel aren't adequate, and that's a part of life. I can't tell you how many times I've been down and out, but managed to pull myself together one more time just to at the very least, garner the respect of my opponent. So with that said, get your little ass up and let's do this, partner.

Cadryn walks over and extends his hand. I reach up and accept his gesture as he helps pull me up to my feet.

Thanks Mr. Tiberius, but you're wrong. I do have what it takes to beat John Blaq. This is actually the opportunity that I've been looking for, a chance to show Mr. Lane that I can be an asset in the ring, and not just as a GM.

Cadryn smiles politely at JT. Though, the expression written across his face spells out the word “Nope.”

You're damn right you do, Ted. If there's one thing I've learned it's that you're not dead until you're dead. And even then sometimes you're not dead. Cause one time I was dead and then I tried to play dink or ball..

But, I digress.

So let's hear a JT style verbal vissage for the ages. I need to know what you think about Sam White and all of his horseshit.

Wait, you mean that you want me to look into the camera and talk smack about John Blaq?

Yeah, pal. You need to up that verbal game. Tell us if you've got what it takes or if it'll just be another kiss from a rose on your grave.

I take a deep, nervous breath…

So what do I do, just explain why I think that I can beat him?

Cadryn just stands there staring at me blankly.

Um… full disclosure, I don't really pay much attention what you guys are saying whenever you do this. Especially whenever one of you decides to record these things in your spandex.

Cadryn continues to stare at me blankly for a moment, then suddenly his eyes light up and a big toothy smile appears on his face.

Ohhhh, you're too busy staring and our dinks to pay attention!

My eyes grow large as my cheeks change fifty shades of red from embarrassment.

Don't sweat it, dude! Im all about them gay fellas. Well, wait, well..

Maybe?

Anyways I mean gay is okay in my book.

Cadryn pauses for a moment before looking directly into the camera.

You see boss, it's all about heart and it's all about being the king. And seeing as I am The King Of Hart's, I know a little something about that. You gotta give that man everything you've got and you've gotta give it to him good. All the anger, the hatred, the pain, it's gotta come across in your words. Your words have to hit him like a two ton sack of shit. You gotta turn everything he says around and make him realize why you're the king, why you're the man in charge. You ain't gotta be physically stronger than Blaq, you gotta have more heart and you gotta want it just a little bit more. I mean sure, he's a walking billboard for Proactiv, but aside from that he's nothing. He's just another nigga late paying his rent. You're the goddamn man, Ted. You're the sum bitch gonna give it everything you got, and when ya ain't got nothing left, you're gonna give some more. Cause men like us, we fight the good fight. Like my daddy always said “You gotta stand for something, or you'll fall for anything.” And Steve, you can't fall for his blasphemous bullshit.

I close my eyes and focus on the pain and anger like Cadryn suggested. I take a few quick breath as I bite my bottom lip.

You know what, screw John Blaq, I've got this!

I open my eyes and stare directly into the camera, which happens to be positioned behind Cadryn.

Hey John, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that this is your moment. You've made it to the main event of Savage, and you opponent, me, isn't even a contracted in ring talent. This is your moment, this is your chance to turn the career long losing streak around and finally win one. Well I have some bad news buddy. I'm not going down without a fight! I'm here in this stinky gym training my booty off, and do you know why? Because just like all of the great fans that tune into Savage every week, I'm sick and tired of listening to you and your BX3 buddies run your mouth about mistreatment, run your mouth about bad management, run your mouth about how everyone else is a , and just plain run your mouths.

I especially take offense every time you or one of your friends tosses around the F-word, because as anyone with half a brain may have figured out by now, I'm gay and I'm proud.

Over the last few months it has taken great restraint for me to not stand up and close your mouths, but such is the job of a GM. I'm not supposed to wrestle. I'm not supposed to do anything that may take the spotlight off if out talent. Specific rules were put in place to prevent such things after the reign of my predecessor. However, I'd argue that you should even be considered talent John, because you sure haven’t displayed any since signing with this company. When is the last time that you won a match by the way?

It doesn't matter if you're in the ring, on the mic, or just running your mouth backstage. It's obvious that the only talent that you have ever possessed was the ability to be both the slimiest and ashiest man I've ever met, all at the same time.

Now, after spending the day in the gym with my friend Cadryn, I've come to realize just what my talent is, and how I'm going to use it to get one over on the big, bad, loudmouth, John Blaq.

No, it's not my ability in this ring. It's not a specialization in a particular move. It's not the fact that I'm so damn sexy, that once you see me in my wrestling trunks, your heart is bound to skip a beat, or ten. It's the fact that I possess a level of intelligence that is far beyond anything that you could ever manage to muster up.

See John, back in my college days, I was actually paying attention to the professors. I put in work, and I earned my degrees. Degrees that lead to my eventual employment as a member of management in one of the largest wrestling companies in the world today. My brain has always been my biggest strength, and it will prove to be your total undoing at Savage.

I smile as I stare into the camera. I figure that this is a good place to cut off the promo. Feeling accomplished, I look over to Cadryn for a sign of approval, but what I get is far from it.

Uh, dude…

You had me all the way up until you force fed me a picture of your spandex nut huggers, and that veiny bastard all the boys at Nine Inch Males call “Hairless Heaven”.

Regardless, it was passable. Not by much, but seeing as your opponent is about as intelligent as a dead hooker, I'd say you're probably in the clear, Stan…

Now get over here and put this sock on, we got work to do.