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Hunter Payne · **10-22-2016, 04:00 PM**

(OOC: I don’t know if we ended up extending the deadline for this show or not. If not, please disregard this roleplay. Thanks.)

What kind of Elmer Fudd shit did I just watch?

With how bad your shot is, I’m assuming I’m Bugs Bunny in this scenario. Alright, have it your way doc.

Hunter Payne is in the XWF locker room, getting ready for his match. Standing next to him is his wife Joy Payne. A camera crew has joined them just as they finished watching Chris Chaos’s last promo on Joy’s pink smartphone. Hunter starts rolling up his elbow pads when the camera is put right in his face in a direct invasion of privacy. He figures since there is a camera there, he might as well talk about what he just saw.

So Chris Chaos wants to throw a bitch fit because I didn’t mention Chris Chaos enough in my last promo that had nothing to do with Chris Chaos. Well Chris Chaos, you little attention-seeking diva, today is your lucky day, because this promo is all about you Chris Chaos.

You know why I didn’t mention you last time Christopher? Because unlike you, I have a life. I don’t go around worrying about my opponent all week. It’s okay though, if I were you, I’d talk about wrestling The Great Hunter Payne all week too.

Joy begins wrapping Hunter’s wrists with white tape like most pro wrestlers do.

Listen up Dick Cheney, shooting your friend doesn’t make you cool. It doesn’t make you edgy. All it makes you is a shitty friend.

Makes me wonder, does he play the Loner type because he doesn’t like people? OR is it because people don’t like him; shooting at them like an upset white kid in a movie theater?

This guy has some damn nerve! Trying to discredit my wins since returning. Fact is, I’ve been on fire since being here. I’m the best in the game right now! Don’t try to downplay my talent Christopher. You want to mention Dolly Waters? If our timed match was 15 minutes and 1 second long, I would be the Television champion right now. I straight disciplined Dolly. It was so bad, people that night were mistaking me for Adrian Peterson after the way I beat that child…

But since you want to bring up Dolly Waters, can you remind me again why you aren’t Television champion right now? Oh wait, that’s right, you lost to her in that 6 person elimination match. So I suck because “a 12 year old took me to my limits”. Whereas that same 12 year old actually beat you. Now I know what you want to say “Hunter, she didn’t pin me though.” So who did pin you in that match?

Kitt Kennedy did.

Oh, the other guy you were trying to discredit in your promo. Now you sound like less of a contender and more like a sore loser. Seems like you trying to discredit me is backfiring pretty quickly. I really hope what you said isn’t true Chris, that you are the top star here, because if that is true, we got some fucking talent issues we need to address at the next XWF meeting.

Oh call me “Hunted” Payne, nice touch. Are you sure you aren’t the 12 year old here? And judging by the success rate of your “hit list”, combined with the fact you’re a terrible shot, it appears I have nothing to worry about tonight.

Joy begins assisting Hunter in his arm stretches by pulling his left arm across his body, stretching the rhomboids. Then she does the same to his right arm.

I personally hope he brings his Vegas whore with him, maybe turn this thing into a tag team match, since I’m tired of seeing all this people bring their lovers to ringside. Do you know who first did that?

We did.

Yes, we are the first couple of the XWF, and now we have a bunch of carbon copy Payne & Joy wannabes walking around here.

Hunter finishes stretching and focuses solely on his message.

Then Chris Chaos start bitching and moaning that I decided to take a week off. Which, if you actually watched the show, you would’ve noticed that I didn’t even end up taking that week off, because I had to teach Paul Heyman some fucking manners.

But don’t worry Christopher. Your favorite wrestler, Hunter Payne is here tonight! And I promise it won't be as easy as shooting a guy in a Hunter Payne mask.

Where'd you even get that mask anyway? Did you make that yourself? You fucking weirdo.

This won't be your version of The Most Dangerous Game, This will be more like Hunter Payne Poe's The Raven. Your idiotic list? Nevermore. Your "Equalizer"? Nevermore. Your unwarranted ego? Nevermore. Your reputation as a good wrestler? Nevermore!

Hunter Payne delivers his closing line and exits with Joy in tow.

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