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~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · (06-05-2014)

The scene is set in a classic 1950's house in the middle of suburbia, complete with white picket fence. There's even the happy generic pop songs of the 1950's music playing in the background. We zoom in close and as we do randomly generated words pop up in front of the camera.
[Image: bj0PEUn.gif]

As the camera zooms into the house we see Frodo dressed in a suit as if he was going to head off to work. He turns and sees the camera.

"Oh, hello. My name is Frodo SmackMour, I have a beautiful home in sunny Los Angeles, as you can see it is far more impressive than Theodore Pryce, because as we all know I am the most affluent member of the United States' upper class of people. I am in fact the supreme Alpha. The almighty, and I spake unto thee as the lord spaketh onto thee. I'm sorry, I'm just getting ahead of myself. It's just so hard to be the Devil's favorite Demon, or is it god's favorite Demon. I can't keep it straight. Come inside, meet the family."

The camera follows Frodo into the house where Katie comes down in a poodle skirt and light blue shirt with a pink bow in her hair. She looks 1950's pretty. Then Joseph-Gordon comes down in a plaid vest over his white button up shirt with black slacks. He looks like a nerd. Maybe he gets bullied. All three of them go into the kitchen to check to see if Breakfast is ready, and we see Frodo's wife.

"See my wife, Jessifer Love-Hubert Jackson Smackmour. I absolutely adore her, but if bitch ever cheats on me I will set her on fucking fire. I do not fuck around with that. But I do fuck around with other bitches, because it's an open relationship. Kids, get the fuck out of here."

Joseph-Gordon heads out the door without a second thought, in fact he left his bag in the house to avoid crossing Frodo. Katie, however, decided to try and argue back. As soon as she uttered one syllable disagreeing with Frodo he leapt at her sending her to the ground. He begins to punch her in the head repeatedly.

"Bitch, when I tell you something you fucking listen. Did I fucking tell you to leave the goddamn house, or did I say sit there like a

and talk back?!"

Katie muttered an answer that was unintelligible, so Frodo began to push his thumbs into her eyes while screaming loudly, no words just a high pitched loud scream. Kind of like the girls who get excited for 1D tickets. She was twitching and screaming in pain before his thumbs went into her eye balls and press her head into the floor harder. She screamed louder, eventually the screaming stopped because like Oberyn she had died. Yup, Frodo killed his own daughter.

After slaughtering her in a fashion that could only be described as Game of Thrones like Frodo wiped the blood, eyes, and brain matter from his hands on her skirt. He then turned to Jessifer Love-Hubert Jackson Smackmour and gave her his demon eye mind control thing. Who cares what it's called, it's fucking

is what it is.

"I want you to drop your squirrel panties, and bend over."

What happens next is some weird Squirrel human sex act that's probably illegal in most states. After he finished Frodo pulled out and slapped Jessifer in the face. He then pulls his pants up and walks to the living room and looks out the window. He sees some random girl jogging by, and man does she look good. He heads out and jogs next to her.

[Image: 1267978-93482-senior-woman-jogging-in-park.jpg]

[Image: 1267978-93482-senior-woman-jogging-in-park.jpg]

"Sup. I'm Frodo SmackMour, how you?"

"So wet right now. So very wet. Wetter than the ocean. I never knew a girl could be so wet. How did you do that to me?"

Frodo gives a nod to the camera and we see his demon eyes thing still going.

"I like your pantsuit."

"Thank you. I got it at Wal-Mart. It was 75% off."

"Let's go back to my place. See if we can get it 100% off."

"Of course. I didn't think you'd ask. I bet you're so huge and muscular."

They of course went back to Frodo's house and had nasty old people sex while Jessifer watched on, unable to say or do anything because it's an open relationship. Of course when it was finished he pushed the old woman out the door.

"Get the fuck out, you're Maddy!"

"What? My name is Margarie"

"FAKE ACCOUNTS!"

After slamming the door in her face he walks over and sees that Jessifer is beginning to watch Magic Mike. That is unacceptable. He goes to the kitchen and grabs a frying pan, and a wok. He walks over to the TV and throws the frying pan through it before beating Jessifer with the Wok. As he beats her he starts screaming random gibberish about Scorpio and no more rape stips. I dunno, we're just filming him here. Eventually he smashes her head and she dies. So, he does the only thing he can think to do in this situation; make Chicken Parm and eat Jessifer's body with Chicken Parm. Because fuck logic.

"Did you like that scenario, Peter? That's how easy it is to be you. Of course I added my own flavor, but on the whole that was all you, baby. Except you don't have kids, and you never will. It's ok, that's not a huge issue here. But did you see how I paid actors to act all of that out? Yeah, and you probably thought I actually did that to my own kids, but I never would. I want you to know that I'm already in your head so deep I can pretend to be you easier than Steen. And hell, Steen has been doing a bang up job, except he wins.

It's ok, man. Try and get in my head, but we know you won't. You'll fall short like when you try and win, or try and tell people how you'll end them. It's ok to fail, everyone does it some times. And yes, I know the irony of me saying you fall short, both in my height, and recent wins, but you'll be the one that turns it around. Face it, baby boy you've already lost to me. Just lay down and let me pin you now. It'll be quicker this way. Also, if you actually try and fight me in the junkyard I will personally rip the radiator from a 1979 Ford Bronco and beat you with it. Then prolly buy said Bronco and take it home with me cause I want one.

Ok, I'm going to go out. Have a blast, I'm heading to a bar,

."

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