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Theo Pryce · (03-23-2014)

?ardyH

Hydra?

The following is a blog post which was this weekend posted by XWF’s very own NeoNero, and yes he literally writes his name like that online as an ironic device, since so many people falsely write it that way. Presumably it was written as a blog post because Nero felt short changed at the lack of interaction with his opponent, though this is somewhat unfair, there was plenty of interaction, it just happened between the opponent and dvd’s of Nero, rather than the man himself.

He walked around the company proclaiming to be the weirdest and strangest man alive but that is all about to change master.

He walked, he talked, he flounced, often trounced, sometimes pounced, occasionally bounced, was always well pronounced, many times renounced, few times denounced, was many times the master, few times the student, often inane, often bringing the rain, sometimes disappeared, usually seen again, sometimes angered, sometimes pained, sometimes defeated, generally in glory rained…

…but never did he, rather never did I, to weird or strange claim.

Now, take a moment, step back, have a little chew on that rubber ball and examine what I have just done here, because it’s something that works on more than one level.

In the first; I have made a display of the inane. I have made a poem for no reason other than to conflate many points and reach an overbearing point.

I have done so in poem format to be inane.

I have concealed my face and withheld my voice, so that you will be forced to read what I say instead of just mindlessly fapping. Ignore what narrators my say to the contrary.

I included kpop because A: This song is amazing, and B: through all your deviancy you have not referred to my affiliation with it; not mysterious enough? How about that business suit I used to wear when I was working in that industry? Not quite the gimmick pigeon hole you want to stick me in right? I mean given what you said about stuffy suits and Theo Pryce’s starch quotient, or whatever that was…I assume it was a burn in your imagination.

I have been inane to show you what inane means.

I have done it in the third person, to accent this further.

I ended with a point that contradicted you on two different words.

Weird, strange and inane. Are these the same word? Let’s get a dic- oh fuck it. No one wants that. If people want to know about definitions, they can learn themselves, or better yet, start clogging up Sid’s lines of communication, I know he would really hate that.

The overarching point was that while you claim to worship me, you clearly have no concept of who or what I really am, and that is worrying. I can’t even let my head grow here, because a messiah complex is quite without merit when your worshipper has not one clue about you. Where do we start here? I could attack this issue from so many angles, and I fear like a hydra more heads would just keep appearing. How did you like that metaphor? Pretty natty right? Except no its not, because a hydra only has a limited amount of heads. You’d be better off imagining the medusa, in this case, because you never know how many snakes are hiding in that barnet (hair), but you do know the moment you look me in the eyes will be the moment you turn to stone.

By which of course I mean you get rock hard. But let’s try not to dwell on that.

Look! I did a tangent! How inane!

Let’s start with my mask. You’re quite right, I have never explained why I wear it. Then again, if you can believe this, noone has ever fucking asked. I would feel inclined to offer you the answer, were it not for the fact that you have already completely ignored two of my questions this week. In fact, you have not only ignored my questions, you have consummately ignored my words, instead of taking them seriously, you have converted them to fap material, as if you are viewing this entire week in the third person, and have no concept of how fucked you really are.

A fun part to look at next would be the idea that you are somehow copying me, because you are being ‘deliberately mysterious’ – I never am – ‘seeing a psychiatrist’ – wow, I wonder how much you pay for that! How much is that psychiatrist laughing you out of his office for? You saw me in my encounters with Dr. Kerrigan, no doubt? And so you decided that you needed to start seeing a psychiatrist ‘to be like me’. That’s somewhat like breaking your leg because your favourite footballer has a broken leg. Only, in this case you’ve just sprained your ankle and told the world you have gangrene.

In other words, you lack any and all credibility.

Hey, XWF audience! Here’s a play along moment for you all! What do John Austin and Eli James IV both excel at publicly?

While you confer amongst yourselves, lets remind ourselves of what Neonero missed at WWX!

The fans gasp in shock and can't believe what they're seeing. It's like they've been taken BACK in time to the glory days of the sport!

The fans, whether they believe it or not, are looking at...

SCOTT HALL

KEVIN NASH

and...

THE MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE!!!

Yeah, that happened. My props go out to the backroom staff for managing to pipe in cheers over the ‘fire Russo’ chants that were fucking deafening on my live ppv feed.

Anyway! I left thee with a riddle. What do Austin and Eli both excel at publicly? The answer is of course Idle worship. Give yourself a round of applause if you got that at home. And if you are wondering whether I meant ‘idle’ or in fact ‘idol’ then seriously, just turn off your TV set. Really. You need more vitamin D.

Let’s rewind a smidgeon, here. When did I ever ‘claim’ to be anything? Thane of Inane is a nickname, to be sure. It’s basically just an excuse for me to dick around and have just cause; doing so stops me going insane literally having to deal with some of the characters around here. See what I did there? Anyway, point is I am not the kind of guy who runs around flapping his gums, saying things that aren’t true, or making himself seem more than what I am.

In fact, I would say that it’s my detestation of this ‘puffed up robin’ syndrome that guys have here, or as I have called it before ‘alpha male syndrome’, which leads me to act in the way that I do. After all, if I was just another Bane Williams, would you have noticed me in the first place? Smart money is on no.

But this title thing. You say if you beat me, you will become the ‘new’ Thane of Inane. On what planet is that logical? Have I agreed to a stipulation in my sleep? Even if you found one of Heyman’s tranquilizers and had me incapacitated, then had your way with me – even if your fantasy came true, how on earth would you ever substantiate ever calling yourself the Thane of Inane?

After all, you have already publicly said, and in more than one promo, this week, that your ‘alternative actions’ are all calculated and measured moves to either try and ‘be Neonero’ or ‘be mysterious’. The very fact your movements are calculated means you can never call yourself inane. I am never inane by design; it’s something I cannot control. Like blinking when an object passes by your face suddenly. I just chose to accent and make light of my well evolved reflex; you can’t even mimic it, never mind substantiate claiming to have it.

So let’s be real about this Johnny, you aren’t the Thane of Inane. And if imitation is flattery, then colour me offended.

Now, I bid you Good Day Sue.

I said Good Day Sue.™

- NeoNero with two big N's

P.S. Pyramid.

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