Haden Oliver Thomas, Theo Pryce’s court jester and personal assistant for the next week has been dispatched by his boss to go through a stack of boxes that were taken out of Theo’s office a few weeks ago and just thrown into an empty supply closet. At the bottom of one of the boxes is a DVD with the XWF scribbled on the outside in black ink. Haden walks over to the DVD player that is situated on a TV stand in the corner of the room. The TV and DVD player on the stand are already plugged into the wall. Haden presses the power button on both the TV and DVD player bringing both systems to life. The tray on the DVD player pops out and Haden places the DVD in the tray and then gives it a gentle push which then allows the system to retract the tray. A few seconds later the DVD begins playing on the screen.

The data stamp on the video is 1/2/14 which was when Theo was at the height of his Cocaine addiction As the camera fades in we see Theo sitting at his desk in his office of Pryce Industries. In front of him on the desk is a pile of white powder roughly 2 inches high. Theo’s hair is all ragged, his eyes glossed over and the stumble on his face is getting dangerously close to turning into a full fledged beard. After a few seconds of Theo just staring at the screen mixed with him rubbing his nose a few times he finally starts speaking.


“The XWF…the XWfuckingF. Xtreme Wrestling Federation. Yeah, because the place is so fucking xteme. Nothing says X-treme like an X-treme champion that refuses to defend his title. Yeah, I’m talking about you Gilmour you fat tub of shit. Or are you skinny now? I can’t remember. Did you ever take your fat back or are you still crying about that like a 17 year old girl who got stood up at her senior prom when her date realized that she’s not nearly as attractive as every other girl in school? You .”


Theo looks down at his desk for a second, uses one of his business cards to form a nice neat line of the white powder, bends his head down to the desk and in an instant the line disappears into Theo’s nose, soon to disperse throughout his blood stream.


“ How’s Rose Smith doing? I heard she sent a dick pick to John Madison the other day. Lucky for her he likes that sort of thing and he didn’t involve the authorities. Check your bitch Peter, in fact, check your bitch to make sure she’s actually a bitch and not a dude. Rumor has it she’s more of a man than you.”


Theo starts rubbing his nose repeatedly while looking around the room manically. “I hear you have a match coming up where your title is on the line. And wouldn’t you know it, in typical Gilmour fashion it’s you and two others against Steve Davids. You should have no problem walking out with that precious of yours still around you waist. I mean, if you lose that title to Steve Davids, JTC or Justine MacKenzie you might as well just kill yourself. How could you possibly lose your title to 3 of the most pathetic jobbers this company has? Seriously.”

“Steve Davids? Who the fuck is Steve Davids? Is he the only guy still apart of Sebastian Duke’s failing stable? Now there’s a guy with a plan. Sebastian Duke gets kicked out of the greatest stable ever assembled, the Black Circle, and what is the first thing he does after taking a shovel to the dome? He forms a stable to take down the Black Circle and here we are, a few months later…I think? It’s January right? Or are we still in December? I have no fucking idea. Anyway, he makes this stable, this, Brotherhood and he just adds every asshole he can find on the roster. Shawn Steel? Griffin MacAlister? Steve Davids and Tony Santos? Really? You want to take down the Black Circle and you surround yourself with three and a mechanic? Great thinking. Sebastian Duke ladies and gentlemen. The man with the plan.”

“Seriously, great job Duke. Fast forward a couple months and your stable is in shambles. Shawn Steel is MIA. Tony Santos told you to fuck off. Ditto for Griffin MacAlister. All you have left is Steve Davids. Steve fucking Davids. The only guy who wasn’t able to surgically remove his head from your rectum yet. Have you seen the film the Human Centipede? Apparently there was a sequel, maybe even two. Either way, that’s you and Davids. It’s so cute. Enjoy taking down the Circle with just the two of you.”

“Let’s see, what are the former members of the Brotherhood up to these days? Griffin is having a baby, supposedly. I heard his baby momma is kind of whorish but I don’t know, I never got that impression from her. Of course it could be because she was the one female in the XWF not to throw herself at me. Oh well, her lose. Seriously though, my money is on that kid coming out black.”

“Shawn Steel? Probably selling his body for crack. Steve Davids? Trying to take the X-treme title from the Hollywood’s Baddest Bad Boy, the X-tremely X-treme Icon Peter Gilmour. Good luck Davids. Gilmour sucks don’t get me wrong but you? You don’t even register.”

“And that brings me to Tony Santos. Hey Tony remember that time you got tea bagged on national television? Because I do. It was fucking hilarious. That dude’s nuts all up on your forehead. I know you were pretending to be unconscious but I saw you smiling while that guy was rubbing his hairy balls sac all over your forehead. You fucking loved it, don’t lie. It’s cool bro. There’s nothing wrong with being a cock sucker. Look at Mr. Supernova. He loves the dick and I don’t hate him. Word of advice though, being in the closet is so cliché anymore. Just come out. Tell the world. You’ll feel better. It will be like the weight of the world was lifted off your shoulders, or perhaps just a pair of balls off your forehead, you know, whatever.”

“Who the fuck else is in the XWF? Eli James? Another asshole who got booted from the good graces of the Black Circle. Another loser that lost his usefulness to the great Shane . Anyone else notice that Eli looks like he’s an extra for that shit ass television show Duck Dynasty. Seriously, has anyone checked in to see if he might be a long lost brother of those red neck fools. Are we sure Eli didn’t get his fortune from making duck calls? There is no way he made a living preaching the good book. There aren’t enough assholes in America to buy into the bullshit he’s selling.”

“Fuck this. I’m not nearly high enough to keep talking about this fucking place. Fuck the XWF. I quit. Oh wait, just kidding, I’m back. See that Barney Green you bloated bitch? See how annoying it is when someone quits for 45 minutes? Fucking stop. Either leave forever or shut the fuck up.”


The video ends abruptly going to the snowy screen that signifies the end of a recording. Haden hits the eject button on the DVD, places it back in its case, looks around and sees that no one was watching and then placing the DVD case into his pocket, a sheepish grin forming across his face.