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**"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane** · (09-27-2013)

We open up my view from inside of a... toilet. Some might call me a piss cam; iAm primarily used to watch hot girls sit down on the toilet and piss. With introductions out of the way, we begin that wait... the wait that can seem like eternities as, shhhhhhhh I think someone is coming!

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The stall door opens...

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A shadow comes up...

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OH. MY. GOD. That's no hot woman! Cut the cam! Cut the cam!!!

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...but it was too late.

GREGGO.

His asshole is hairy and there seems to be blood on his left ass cheek. Why is he sitting down to piss?

... oh no.

Don't tell me.

His voice echoes through the washroom... "Mmmm, mmmm, come on... get outta me. Mmmmm, mmmm, here comes the corn!"

He starts singing the lyrics from one of Korn's songs as the tip of a corn on the cob peeks out of his anus. He's actually pushing a FULL corn on the cob out of his ass, unchewed. It's like he deep throated an entire corn on the cob and swallowed it whole. With all the twists and turns it must take to get through the body, it shouldn't even be possible for it to be coming out the other end whole but there it is, already about halfway out now. Greggo keeps on singing some shitty Korn song and pushes really hard, sending the corn out of his asshole like a missile and getting splashed all over his ass.

Next, Greggo starts moaning and shaking violently. He begins to scream! He seems to be...

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He seems to be...

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No...

NO!

OH MY LORD! HEAVEN HELP US ALL!

Greggo is giving birth to a MONKEY right out of his asshole! This is bajesuses times a million.

The monkey pries Greggo's asshole apart from the inside, using his tiny monkey hands like he was the incredible hulk ripping through steel. Smoke emerges from the monkey's nostrils as his head comes through, followed by the rest of his wet and bloody body. The monkey lands with a big PLOP right in the toilet and Greggo stands up. He takes some toilet paper and...
well, you probably don't want to know.
Let's just say he put it somewhere for safe keeping.
Yeah... it's in his bum. :( iAm sad to have seen it so up close and personal.

The monkey starts splashing around in the toilet like a kid in a kiddie pool. He's got a beach ball in there too (how the fuck?) and also some rubber duckies. Greggo smiles and starts playing paddy-cake with the monkey.

GREGGO: Mmmmm, monkey. Mmmmm. You remind me of that skinny, sexy, athletic, good smelling man by the name of Barney Green. Mmmmm, yeah... he's going to wipe the floor with me this Saturday or Sunday since he doesn't know or care which day it even is. Oh Monkey, can you give me your best Barney Green impersonation?

The monkey starts eating all of the rubber duckies...

Then eats the beach ball.

Then drinks the remainder of the toilet water, also taking down the corn on the cob and other floating fecal debris.

GREGGO: Heh, that looked like it tasted good. Come gimme a kissie pie.

Greggo lifts the monkey up and starts french kissing him until the monkey finally slaps him across the face and pushes him back. Greggo crashes down in the corner looking like a deer in headlights as Monkey pulls a cigarette from his own asshole, lights it with a lighter that he pulls from Greggo's dick hole, and begins smoking while pissing all over Greggo. Greggo laps up as much of the piss as he can and the monkey rides on the back of his neck while he gets it all up.

MONKEY: (in a sing-song, little German boy's voice w/ heavy accent) The Captain is callllllllllll-iiiiing.

MONKEY: (in an angry Chinese lady's voice at a cheap noodle shop) Why you no give me sucky sucky?

MONKEY: (in a New York City accent) Yo dip shit let's get a move on, eh?

MONKEY: (in Pink's singing voice) So I cash my checks and place my bets, and hope I'll always win.

MONKEY: (in his own, normal speaking voice; whatever that even is) Good sir, I'd appreciate you coming with me. We've got quite a journey awaiting and the cap'n isn't the most patient man in the universe.

Greggo gets lazy eyes, or is drunk, or something else might be happening here. He seems to be blinking very rapidly now and is fiddling with the toilet cam... (aka me)

MONKEY: (in a shocked woman's shrill) Oh my god! We were being watched!? AAAAAAH!

Greggo slaps the money's big dick and then rips me from my base within the toilet. Apparently, I'm going with for this journey.

Or not.

I'm tossed aside into the corner of the bathroom like a piece of trash. Greggo watches as the monkey happily dives head first down into the toilet accompanied by that weird sound from Mario Brothers when you go down a green pipe. Greggo holds his dick and jumps up into the air, diving head first down into the toilet.

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There is no Mario noise.

Just the sound of porcelain shattering and Greggo's skull splitting open. Blood gushes as somebody comes into the bathroom to investigate the sounds and they see Greggo laying there like a piece of shit, complete with his bloody head halfway down the hole of what was once a toilet.

Greggo wakes back up and instantly starts doing the Dougy with the fags from Jersey Shore. A Youtube video enters the bathroom, but is polite enough to not autoplay. It's clear this video was not sent by any shemales.

Once Greggo is done doing the Dougy, he finds raYne's severed head in the garbage can of the washroom.

GREGGO: What a coincidence!

He starts dribbling it like a basketball and shoots! 3 POINTS! Nothin' but net!

Not taking time to wonder why a basketball hoop is installed in the washroom, Greggo begins washing his hands and talking into the mirror. He's clearly delusional right now...

GREGGO: Fuck you Barney Black! Fuck a Barney Black! I'm going to John Green's Shove It and I am walking in the tightest asshole in the WEST, mmmm. Brudduh, you just can't get enough of me all up in ye. Mmmmm, mmmm Barney Barney you think you are a former champion but guess what?

Former champions are just losers. It's like saying you used to know how to take a shit like an adult but now you are back to wearing diapers. Fuck, Barney, Mmmmm, Mmmmm, what size diaper must a big'un like you wear? I'll wager in the triple triple triple triple triple X? I don't even think that number exists, Barney, just like your accolades. I think you fucked a tranny and called it a title reign. I mmmm, mmmm I bet you taste like tranny right now.

Greggo starts licking the mirror as others look at him like he's a freak. They go about their business in the washroom but keep their distance from Greggo, who clearly is erect during all of this.

Clearly, because he has no pants on.

Still.

And never did.

It's like he was born without them. Fuck.

GREGGO: I'ma tell yuh one thing Bubba Green... the name's Greggo. I ain't a tranny, but I'm hoping that you'll be able to thrill me in this handicap match. I'm at a severe disadvantage just like anyone would be in this handicap match...

Barney is like TWO Peter Gilmours.

Peter Gilmour is like FIVE normal people.

Mmmmm, you do the math. That's right, taking on Barney is like taking on 25 people in one! TWO and FIVE.

Greggo suddenly realizes something. He kneels down and picks up a small piece of shit, bringing it up to his mouth and taking a small nibble. He smacks his lips and tongue together to get a real taste for the specimen.

GREGGO: The captain! He was here! ARRRRRRRR ME MATIES!

Greggo starts doing the Popeye/pirate arm as he walks around in circles, going ARRRRRR again and again. He has clearly regained his focus and this epic journey may now continue.

He nibbles on the shit a little more and then gets comfortable on the bathroom floor to take a nap.

Ok, maybe not continue now... but soon.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode P-Cam 101 Really makes no sense at all and should probably not be viewed by any1 sane
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