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John Austin · (08-25-2013)

What drives a man, is it honor? is it his will to survive? or is it him knowing that he is the baddest motherfucker walking God's green earth? ...All these questions ponder the mind that is John Austin. See John has been a familiar face over on Madness and has now recently been showing up on episodes of Shove-It more frequently. I think it's the uncensored type aspect that appeals Austin. No chains binding him down, no-one with their finger over the censored button...just John Austin in all his glory. The perverted, at times racist, over the top nutcase that we have grown to love.

Now usually we find Austin at some random ass haggard location cutting one of his tirades on film but this time, Austin wanted to take a different approach. Think of it as being inside the mind of John Austin. What you are about to hear are words that are not directly approved by XWF trustees. This is ....Straight Outta Compton.....Part 1

We begin....................

Hello everyone, this is John Austin coming to you live from your tablet devices, phones or where-ever you can listen to this. Normally you watch me cut these insane promos from places like a coffee shop, a run down meat packing plant and my home but I thought I spice it up just a bit. I call this Straight Outta Compton. This will be a three part series where I speak of the current state of XWF, politics, things that grind my gears and I may even share some recipes you lucky motherfuckers. You all watch me regularly on Monday Night Madness but here recently I have made myself a regular on Shove-It as well and next Saturday will be no different.

You see, this coming up Shove-It, the old time shit fest that was once BattleBowl is brought back in new form and the winner gets to face John Madison for his XWF crown. Call me crazy but when I was offered to be apart of it, I IMMEDIATELY said sign me up. A few names have been thrown around already to be apart of this whacky match like Sean Falcon, the legendary Duke and I think Peter Gilmour may be even showing up. I have already faced a cast of characters in my short time with XWF but getting the chance to face Duke and tangle it up with his old ass gives me all the ammunition I need for this crazy shitty concept match.

If you all remember back in my early days here with XWF, I was suppose to earn a spot in the Elimination Chamber back at Wild Card and the winner would take on John Madison. However I was royally and rightfully screwed out of my opportunity to face Madison. Some say sour grapes...ehh you're right, I was sour about the situation but now I have another chance to rid the world of this horrible king and take my throne. When I become king, should I wear a giant clock around my neck like Flava Flave? Nahh....you all know I can't tell time anyways, it would have to be a giant digital clock around my neck *laughs*

XWF needs a new breath of fresh air and it will start when I win the Thunderbowl? I think it's called...next Saturday. I will show the world why John Austin should be king. I think I would be a fantastic king personally. Better than King George, Jerry "the King" Lawler and King Henry the eighth. Unlike Madison, I would maintain control of my kingdom and not have the chaos and non-sense that is going on like it is now. I can not wait to see what trash steps forward and enters their name into this match along with mine. Now I too am trash, so no-one take offense to it but I am the hottest white trash walking alive today so suck it bitches.

Does anyone remember when I tried to be like Eli James with my own version of my family? *laughs* what the fuck was I thinking? What about The Connection? *laughs* well can't say I tried everyone. No-one has to worry about these hiccups anymore, you are seeing John Austin as his tried and true self. I don't need no group of guys or preach the word like I am Joel Osteen. I am John Austin. I am borderline autistic, I love to drink, I love to have fun and I love to whip ass. Wrestling is my passion and I take it very seriously. When I officially become the next king of XWF, everyone will have to personally thank me. Thank me for ridding the world of John Madison at the throne.

Well part one is almost in the books ladies and gentlemen. I took it easy on some of you today, next week you may not be so lucky. So keep tuning in and listening to my crazy ass. I am John Austin, your next King of XWF and I will see you here next week.

Part one is in the books....stay tuned for Part 2

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