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Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson · **08-02-2013, 10:53 AM**

Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis are sat on a couch talk to each other about you average day to day shit that women talk about. Blah! Blah! Babies!, Blah! Blah! Channing Tatum!, Blah! Blah! Period!, Blah! Blah!. I think you get the picture don’t you?

Good well they had both been invited down to the set of The Rock’s new franchise saving mission... Jurassic Park. They were unsure why they were here but were excited anyway, they hoped to meet the legendary director Steven Spielburg. It’s good that they are excited because The Rock is extremely excited about what he calls”The role that is going to define my motherfucking career biatch!! YeeeeeeBooooiiiiiii.” At least it was something along those lines. You see the studio thought that the animatronics that was previously used to create the look of the dinosaurs was just “Not scary enough” for the audience of today’s world. Many people thought this as a load of bull crap but the studio was convinced they needed to go a different way. They needed to do motion capture. ”How the fuck is they going to motion capture something that no longer exists?” I hear you ask. Well I am grad you asked. The dinosaurs will now be portrayed by humans. ”Your fucking with us aren’t you, please tell me you are fucking with us?” Fuck with you I do not. The creative team have created these costumes that are made out of a variety of items. Let me show you...

You see hear is the head and little arms for the Tyrannosaurus Rex, this is perfectly built to fit cast member Verne Troyer. Now if you look over here you will see the body, legs and tail for the T-Rex. Now this is made with precision to be perfectly fitted for Dwayne “The Schlong” Johnson. You see what will happen is Dwayne will step into these hind legs and bit strapped into place. Then he will pick Verne up and hold him out in front of him like this, then we will fit the front end Tyranosaur constimer onto Verne and duh dah... We have a T-Rex, everyone is very excited about it. ”This must be a joke.” Nope, no joke here, would you like me to explain how we get Jason Statham into the Pterodactyl costume. No, No, No it is fine we don’t need to see anymore.

Ok so let me hand you over to The Rock who is just walking into the room now.

Rocky comes stumbling in laughing his head off. He notices the girls and calms himself down with a quick masturbation session, I think Kunis may have caught a bit in her eye, oh well. The Rock’s finished now anyway.

“Ladies, so glad you can make it down. Hope everyone has been treating you well.”

The Rock is stood in front of the girls with his python schlong flapping about all over the place. The girls are a little distracted but hey there professional actors they just have to act like they don’t notice it.

”Pleased to be here. What a big schl.. i mean set it is.” Either Natalie or Mila said, The Rock’s sexist self don’t really give a shit which one said it he is just thinking about banging them both right now.

”It is isn’t it. So there is a reason I requested you both to come down here today. That is that I would love for you both to appear in the movie.

The girls eyes light up at the sound of staring in Jurassic Park 3 ¼.

”Really, working with Steven Spielburg would be a dream, yes well do it.” One of them said.

”Ah this maybe a little awkward then, we have had to change the director, Spielburg just wasn’t cutting it, he still wanted to use them unrealistic animatronic dinosaurs from the first three films, haha can you imagine that. No we had to change the director up but we do have an obvious and worthy replacement.....Michael Bay. He cancelled production of Transformers 18 to take up this challenge, he is very excited about it, as am I.”

”Bay?” One of the girls said in a disappointed tone.

”Yes Michael Bay, it was he that recommended you two actually. He has big plans for this movie and he wants you both to be part of the biggest.

”Oh were listening, what’s he want us for?”

The Rock stands to his feet as if he is ready to leave.

”Well he wanted to tell you himself but I suppose I can give you some details before I go and have my interview with the XWF. Steve Sayors is a douche by the way. Ok so you girls were in the Black Swan film right? Well that is Michael Bays favourite masturbation material... oh I mean movie, he thinks it is brilliant, as do I. He says he uses it to relax and that it is a very relaxing film to watch. So anyway this is a very high pressure job making this dream of an epic blockbusting motherfucking movie come to life and he feels that he may become a little stressed. So he would like you two if it is not to much trouble to just hang around on set with everyone and if he feels that he is becoming a little stressed he hope you two would re-in act “THE SCENE” from Black Swan to help relax him on set.

The Rock smiles and leaves the room just shouting back once.

”I’ll tell him you are here and your very excited about the film.”

Mila and Natalie look at each other in shock.

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