Why did you add yourself?

It wouldn't be fair to do this without doing myself.

OK, then lets get started.

I turned towards the board, and started to write down the first name on our list, which happened to be Jonny Rebel. Now what do I plan to do here is actually very simple. Unlike when we covered my High Stakes match, we do a quick pros vs. cons list for each person. Normally I would only look at their preparation for the match, but sometimes it can be fun. I'm also very objective in this. I have a tendency to be overconfident, but I do understand we have some really talented wrestlers in the XWF. That doesn't change the fact that I am the most dominate force here. History has proven that every time I have stepped into the ring. Even way back in my debut matches at Gauntlet City I was causing chaos. Anyway, back to what I was doing...

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Jonny Rebel
Pros: Has balls, nice beard going on there
Cons: Would rather get beaten twice then have a chance at immortality, lost in translation

I don't think he even wants to be in the rumble.

That's the point. Someone that thinks they could beat Luca in a rematch has no business in a match for the big boys.

Final Score: 2.1/10

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Andrew Morrison
Pros: backed by The Connection, hell of a wrestler
Cons: Not focused at all, looks like Duke ran through a shit covered laundry shoot.

That makes no sense. A fucking laundry shoot?

Your just saying that because he's a member of the Connection. He is more then capable then lasting for a few minute, but I don't see him lasting too long with Steele in there to distract him.

Final Score: 3/10

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John Black
Pros: one of the vets here, definitely a powerful force
Cons: stands no chance, plus thinks being gone will equal certain defeat.


Wasn't he on a hiatus too?

Yeah, but he fails to understand something. I've made him experience pain and chaos before. I have no problem doing it again. I commend him for coming into this rumble, because I want to prove to him why he should have stayed home for this rumble.

Final Score: 2.5/10

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Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
Pros: apparently a huge cock, former world champion
Cons: apparently a hugh cock, FORMER world champion for a different organization

It's The Rock. What makes you think you actually stand a chance?

This isn't "The Rock"...this is Dwayne. Dude is a damn movie star, I'll give him that. Although that doesn't help him in the rumble. He can channel his inner Tooth Fairy, grab some Gin and just like J.G.L. honor his career. It's not destined to be King.

Final Score: 4/10

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Jessie Diaz
Pros: Loves the fact a chick can compete with the boys, very vocal
Cons: has no idea what she's getting into, needs to find Jesus

Your not even going to church anymore. You sound like I tired out Tyler Perry.

Where did Tyler Perry come from?

I don't know?

Exactly, just like Ms. Diaz. She seems to think an assortment of things...oh wait my bad....she "knows" some things I don't. Who ever said I came back to no response, when I'm not here to impress her or anyone else that doesn't matter. I came back because I tired of seeing that bitch Madison think he is the best.

He is King at the moment.

True, he may be the King, but Diaz isn't even fit to be the King's slutty mistress that he beheaded because she didn't make him climax. Although Dwayne my like her, she needs to understand her opinion is irrelevant. I'm here for Madison, not her fucking approval.

Final Score: 1/10

I think she deserves a better score...in fact.

Final Score: 5/10

Sexiest bastard.

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Shawn Steele
Pros: Can handle himself in a fight, wants to cause just as much pain and chaos as me
Cons: Only worried about the Connection, Kingship doesn't matter, broken record

Isn't his goal a good thing thought?

Yes and no, and for good reason. Yes, because a man determined is a man with all the tools. He will no doubt destroy the Connection. No, because he is obviously a crazed maniac. I like it, but I would prefer he keep his head on right.

So he worries you?

I would be worried about anyone that was swinging a fucking crowbar around. Not saying he's gonna bring it, but if he does....everyone's pretty much fucked.

Final Score: 5.5/10

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Mr. Radio
Pros: Would make a great crew member on the USS Enterprise
Cons: Couldn't beat Picard or Kirk in a pissing contest, never listened in sex-ed class

So?

So what?

You compared him to a cheesy Deep Space Nine episode.

I know, that's all I could think of. If he wants Madison, then he's more then welcome to have him all to himself. He'll just have to wait until I take his crown, since he's such a pussy and doesn't wrestle anyone good...then again Radio is right up his alley

Final Score: 2/10

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We had been at this for nearly a hour and started to find ourselves wanting a drink. Thankfully, it was nearly noon and we could get down to some drinking and partying for the night. I know it would seem like I wanted to remain focused on the impending match for Monday, and I am. It's just it seems like this is going to be a push-over at best. I've already thought hard about half of the competitors and only one of them seems the least bit determined to win it. Sadly, that one person has an insane obsession with his "massive schlong" and playing slap ass with a pair of homo twins. Oh well, some beer might make me see some better competition from the other half of the field...then again, I suddenly have a desire for some waffles...

DEVEN! TWO STACKS OF WAFFLES!




ON IT!

You know I don't want any waffles.

Who said I was ordering for both of us?

Our list so far....

Jonny Rebel- 2.1/10 Andrew Morrison- 3/10 John Black- 2.5/10 Dwayne The Rock Johnson- 4/10 Jessie Diaz- 5/10 Shawn Steele- 5.5/10 Mr. Radio- 2/10

Reasons I'm Better Then You

2x UFO Champion
Highest Viewed Shove It GM Show: 8/31/13