OOC: Note that this RP actually occurs after Thad Duke’s, which he will post later. I had to get this one out now as I’ll be busy the rest of the day.

Drama

Your view rises up the side of an indoor hot tub, just another of what was formerly Dyson’s Manor’s more posh features. Corey and his new friend Christian are sitting in it, soaking up the soothing heat. Christian’s hair is down, brown curly locks pour over his shoulder blades and into the water. Corey’s hair is bone dry, clearly not having touched the water. So fancy.

So…? Christian inquires, quirking an eyebrow.

So….? Corey retorts with an aspect caught between annoyance, confusion, and anxiety.

Did you talk to Duke? About things? I know he was here yesterday. There’s an expectant twinkle in his eye as he says it that Corey misses because his eyes are downcast towards the water.

Yeah. Sort of.

And?

I don’t know.

“You don’t know.”

That’s right. He groans. I’m so sick of nothing being easy.

Do you want to hear my advice?

Again?

Yeah. Because apparently it bears repeating. Christian says pointedly. There’s too much to Duke. Too much complication. Too much drama. Too much bullshit.

Hey… he reproaches.

Christian ignores the reproach. And how sure are you that he’s even who you think he is? What was that shit between him and Lycana on Warfare? And that stuff with Big D? Like was he seriously trotting out sour grapes from shit that happened months ago to come beat a man’s ass AFTER he just got his ass beat TWICE already. He scoffs. That’s just sadistic. I’m telling you, Corey. Sometimes people just aren’t who we want them to be.

Corey remains silent for a moment, eyes still canted into the water. What do you want out of this? He says softly.

What do you think?

Corey instantly looks up, and he can’t catch the surprise from showing before locking eyes with Christian. This clearly wasn’t the response he was expecting.

Christian meets his gaze and says nothing. Wordlessly, he rises up out of the water. The drops play over the massive scar that races down the side of his abdomen, that vicious testament to Christian’s own “complication” written in flesh.

Corey watches him go. He doesn’t say anything. He can’t say anything. He just gazes down into the depths of the water, lost in himself, washed up on the shore of his own roiling adolescent mind. It’s easy to forget sometimes that Corey Smith is only 19 years old. As of February 14th that is. Happy birthday. And that amidst all of this trauma, facing the dangers of the XWF day in and day out, coming to terms with the lives he’s ruined, that 19 is but a stop gap age being childhood and adulthood. A fleeting admixture of two competing eras in any human being’s life.

19 is where childhood goes to die.

Hey…. A soft voice prods Corey out of his daydreaming. Dolly is standing just outside the tub, a bathrobe wrapped about her. The concern is undeniable. Are you ready to talk?

Corey looks at her. He tries the veneer of confidence, the casual smile, the jaunty cock of the head but by God it’s all just so hollow and so stupid right now. The smile shatters and his voice hitches in his throat as he produces the word “yes”.

Dolly nods. She pulls up a chair to the side of the tub, but finds that Corey is already standing up in the water. He surprises her by advancing out of the rub, sodden and wearing nothing but swim trunks with a playful smiley face plastered on the front. He wraps his arms around her, drenching her. But she doesn’t seem to mind. She sits in the chair, pulling Corey down with her. He places his dewy face on her lap.

Dolly gently starts to pet his hair, a gesture at once motherly and intimate. It occurs to Corey that this has happened before, the last time he had to grow up. The cosmic beach. The cerulean waves. Lux

Tell me.

For a haunting, fleeting moment, he hears Lux in that voice. But then it's gone.

Comedy

Your view after we lurch forward in time a bit is an overhead shot of an indoor aquarium.



Corey Smith is seated in the front row, and he looks pretty excited. He’s actually wearing a Jim Jimson shirt, oddly enough, but I guess it’s up to the viewer to determine if he’s doing it ironically or not.

It’s not ironic.

Oh? Alright.

Hey there ladies, gents, and otherwise, Corey Smith here! Now, heading into this match you just had to know I was going to press the “Dolphin button”. And contrary to the vibes my shirt may be sending, I’m actually a fan of them! And so is my good friend who I literally just met. Meet absurdly handsome marine biologist Dr. Kent Morris!



Kent is sitting just beside Corey.

Thanks for that warm introduction, Corey. He turns to the camera without missing a beat. So smooth! Dolphins really are fascinating creatures. In fact, some studies suggest that dolphins may be only second to human beings when it comes to intelligence. They’re also one of nature’s longest living animals, as they can live to be 50 years old!

Wow! So dolphins have a lot going for them?

They sure do, Corey.

Sweet! Man, I love marine animals. In fact, I love them so much this is going to be my second promo detailing their awesomeness. Way back in 2019, I did a Top 5 list of the awesomest sharks of all time when Lux faced El Tiburon. So I figure, hell, why not do a Top 5 dolphins of all time! He turns to Kent. Totally not a retread!

Completely different animals! He concurs with a 10,000 megawatt smile.

So, without further adieu….the TOP 5 DOLPHINS OF ALL TIME!

NUMBER FIVE!



Move over Daniel Day-Lewis, because your acting chops have got nothing on the Oscar worthy performance put on by Buck and Ginger here when they played Alpha and Beta in the seminal 1970’s sci-fi classic Day of the Dolphin! In it, they played two dolphins who were trained to speak English, only to be kidnapped by nefarious forces who wanted to get them to kill the president! Whoa! And a fun fact, Buck and Ginger escaped after the movie was completed.

Maybe they thought the movie was “Dolphsploitation”. He chuckles at his own joke.

Haha, yeah, I see what you did there.

QUATRO!!



ECCO THE DOLPHIN! Admittedly, I didn’t know too much about this one before hand. I guess it’s a video game on something called the Sega Genesis. He shrugs. Before my time! But this dolphin was actually pretty badass! So badass in fact, he fought aliens on an alien planet. He doesn’t even have opposable thumbs! I’d like to see you do that Charlie Nickles aka Demos!

NUMBAH THREE!



Winter the dolphin! Oh man, what a story here! After her tail was mangled in a crab trap line, she got made a prosthetic tail that returned her to full functionality!

Most dolphins wouldn’t have survived the loss of their tail, but Winter successfully adapted to the prosthetic and went on to live a normal life. He wipes away an errant tear. Such an inspiration...he chokes out a small sob before turning away from the camera.

Next up...NUMBER TWO!



Tricked ya! I bet you thought he would be number one! But we all know this guy. Countless episodes of television across the decades. TV movies! Cartoons! A 1996 feature film starring Paul Hogan and Elijah Wood! Flipper is nothing short of an aquatic entertainment juggernaut! Suck it, Nemo!

And that brings us to THE BEST dolphin of all time……



Yeah, it’s DARWIN FROM SEAQUEST DSV, baby! Okay, okay, yeah he’s technically not a real dolphin either. He was an animatronic puppet. But he was still a total G. A brilliant talking dolphin, he was also BFF’s with 90’s teen idol Jonathan Brandis while constantly saving Seaquest and even being the key to an underwater alien mystery as per this promo spot from 1994!



I bet he gave those poorly rendered ET’s what for! But peacefully, of course, in keeping with Seaquest’s mission statement.

Corey shakes his head and looks back at Kent.

With dolphins being as amazing as they are, it just astounds me that DDS would want to do them so dirty. They are literally the most loving, peaceful, wise animals on the planet.

Dr. Kent scrunches his face up in consternation. Well….uhhhhh….

I mean, I’m right, right?

Grimacing, the world’s most photogenic marine biologist reluctantly responds. I agree, dolphins are pretty amazing. But unfortunately, dolphins are also rapists.

Heh...Corey smiles nervously at the camera. Dude, rape jokes are never okay!

Oh, it’s not a joke. Gangs of dolphins have been known to isolate, brutalize, and rape a single female dolphin over a period of weeks!

But...but….Flipper! He stammers desperately.

Or sometimes, when a dolphin wants to mate, they’ll murder a mother dolphins babies to get her in the mood for making more!

I feel nauseous….

Dolphins are also recreational killers. They have been seen assaulting other animals, animals that aren’t even a threat to them. And they’ll do it just for fun! They even use their ultra sound abilities to know which organs to damage to inflict the most pain and suffering.

Please stop….

And if all that’s not weird enough, dolphins are also necrophiliacs. They’ve been observed trying to copulate with the rotting husks of dead dolphin females. Ugh, yucko! He chuckles.

Corey looks blanched and defeated. He slowly turns to look at Dr. Kent. Okay, I’m done. Thanks for your time.

Oh! Uh, ok. He plasters on that winning smile again. Actually, I was going to ask you if you’d like to have a drink with me tonight?

Corey visibly tenses. Uh, I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I’m NOT gay.

Dr. Kent shoots Corey a sidelong glance. Riiiiight…. He picks himself up out of his seat and walks off camera.

What?! I’M NOT! He calls after him. Finally, Corey smacks his teeth and goes eyes forward again.

Okay, FINE! Maaaaaaybe DDS has a point about dolphins. I’ll concede it. He sticks a finger up for emphasis. BUT NOT ALL DOLPHINS! Winter never hurt nobody. ‘Twas man that wronged HER.

Anyway...DDS. I honestly had no idea they had a name ‘till I saw the card. What a missed opportunity for a dental gimmick. Christ guys, it’s right there! Charlie...oh, ‘scuse the fuck outta me…Demos is the dentist and then we tart Jimson up a bit as a sexy dental hygienist. He squints and looks off to the side. It just occurs to me I used Demos and “hygiene” and Jimson and “sexy” in the same sentence. Mark your calendars folks, the stars are in alignment.

He throws his hand out casually. So we got this Demos guy. Used to be Charlie Nickles. Now look, the last thing I’m gonna shit on a guy for is having multiple identities. What I WILL shit on a guy for is having a new identity that's basically just his old one, warmed over under a heat lamp and served to an undiscerning palate. So, Demos is...what? You but marginally less of a dick?

“The body of the people”, huh? Well if that’s the case then I think the people are due for a cleanse. Corey suddenly looks annoyed. Look you asshole, its not just a matter of pulling on a mask, slapping on a fresh coat of paint and pretending the sins don’t follow you! What you did, who you were, the lives you ruined, the family you abandoned, all of that shit is still out there, hanging over your head like a blackened cloud threatening rain. And the fact that you’re so blithely ignorant of that offends me on a level so primal it makes me itch.

Who the fuck do you think you are? Who the fuck do you think you are, just washing your hands of it, rebranding and calling it a day? He shakes his head. I mean, not that you ever struck me as a particularly insightful sort, broke ass dime store Dexter Bright that you are, but CHRIST this is egregious.

He cuts his hands through the air as though sweeping something away.

But yeah, we know your ethics are shit. This is the XWF after all, it’s not like you got to be a boy scout to succeed. So let’s talk about that...his eyes pop...17 and 4 RECORD?! You might be an immoral sucking maw of a human being, but I guess you can wrestle, eh?

He smirks. That smirk that always proceeds “I got you bitch.” You hate it.

The numbers look real good on paper, right? Left side of that equation is mighty heavy, we know which one the crocodile’s gonna eat.

Om, nom, nom > Not so many noms

But I broke down those numbers. Oh yes, I did. And, like with most things, the devil’s in the details. Yeah, you DO have 17 wins. But each and every one of them was against a calibre of talent that could be considered B tier at best. The lone exception is Sebastian Duke, old man Seabass, which MIGHT have looked good on the ol’ resume if Cataclysm literally didn’t win that match for you. And when I say “literally” I don’t mean that in the facetious way. I mean “Duke was going to win, when Cataclysm interfered and beat the shit out of him while Charlie hightailed it.” Homeboy wasn’t even there for the finish, Main and Page honest to God wrapped the fucking match up for him! Corey twirls his finger in the air in a “whoop dee doo” fashion. That’s his big win. Great job, Demos.

Other than that, it’s what...the squeaker win against Jenny Myst? Oh, and you beat Ned Kaye. He scrunches up his face guiltily. I love you Ned.

That “4” though, thats the interesting part...that’s the “blood will tell” part. Because that’s the part that shows where your ceiling is. And your ceiling is legit main event talent. Sarah Lacklan. Robert Main. Robbie Bourbon. Doc D’Ville. Your momentum grinds to a screeching halt the moment you hit Clout Street. So don’t look now, bubbe, but the rust bucket Oldsmobile Delta ‘88 that is YOU just turned down the wrong damn street again. Thad Duke. Former Universal Champion. Me. Possessing the very same skill set as a former Universal Champion and riding high on a 5 match post-stroke win streak that includes beating some truly heavy hitters. Soooooo….

Corey leans into the camera.

What you really got for us, Charlie?

He gets up out of the seat to stretch his legs and starts meandering towards the tank.

As for you Jimson! He glowers at the screen….before playfully collapsing into a chuckle. I kind of like you. I mean, your brother (cousin? brother/cousin?) lawyer’s a total cock, but you? I think you’re pretty funny in a “sugar addled 8 year old screeching and watching PewDiePie Sooooo random totes monkeycheese” kinda way. In fact, I happen to be something of a connoisseur of MonkeyCheese. I know good Monkeycheese when I see it, and you sir are cheesier than an impossible to find Brie de Meaux. Corey cocks his head. Don’t look at me! It turns out when you become rich you instantly know everything about expensive cheeses. It’s some real “glitch in the Matrix” shit.

AN-Y-WAY, Jim, because I like you, the only thing you need to do to avoid me bringing an ego shattering shoot spectacular down upon your head is not say anything stupid. Just entertain! Your partner’s a much bigger target than you anyway. A beat passes. Yeah, that WAS a fat joke.

Corey is now standing in front of the massive tank of water. Unbeknownst to him, a dolphin has started to swim his way. I look forward to Jim bringing the funny and the further adventures of Charlie “Suddenly Milquetoast” Nickles. But for now, I got the open road ahead and some serious soul searching to do. Fun, fun, fun!

The dolphin is now nose to nose with the glass. Corey frowns and bears an “oh come oooon” expression. He’s right there isn’t he? He reluctantly turns around. GAH! Corey leaps back from the glass as this creepy little bastard waves a fin at him. Corey doesn’t take his wary eye off the dolphin as he slowly backs out of the shot.