First we come to see this guys named John Austin

As Kyle is out of the room, I was sitting on the couch still. I was searching the world wide web for anything I could possibly find on this John Austin. It proved to be more difficult then I originally imagined it would be. Kyle decided to take a shit before we got started, and that takes him a while. He likes to concentrate and put much focus into his time in there. I would say roughly 20 minutes. In that span of time, I found almost nothing on this kid. I mean I searched everywhere from Japan to European sites, even every donkey show and tranny site I could find. It was hard, but I came across two videos on him. Oddly enough, they were both from the XWF. Yet, here I've heard he's suppose to be this amazing guy who everyone fears...

OK, did you find anything?

Just his last two matches.

That's all? Seems kinda sad for someone with as big an ego as him.

I know. Makes me wonder where he is suppose to be this "world famous" wrestler here to purge the world of the trash.

I guess I never thought of looking on the Waste Management website.

Well lets see what we got here on this guy.

Kyle stands up and walks into my kitchen. He reemerges carrying a white board with a pack of dry erase markers. He walks around the front of the coffee table and sets up the board next to my TV. He turns to me with a expression of excitement. After all, this has been an enjoyable pastime for many years.

OK, so you were saying you fond some footage of this Austin guy? Lets go over it then...

I plug my computer into my TV using an HDMI cord. I change the input on the TV, and pull up my computer on the larger LED screen. I pull up the first YouTube video featuring this young Austin.

"Future King of XWF"? What kind of name for a video is that?

The kinda title for someone who's only better then a stuffed animal.

We begin to watch the match, waiting for Austin to appear in the match. After a few moments, we get the first bit of action on Austin as he gets into the match.

OK, point one?

He's in a 6-man tag match.

Point two?

He didn't start the match.

Point three?

He happened to be the closest partner when Davidson makes a tag.

Point four?

He took to long to get in and let Lennox tag out, after he had a perfect advantage left for him.

Point five?

He gets the upper hand, and for some dumb reason sends Danger into his own corner. This also allows for the tag.

Point six?

He gets dazed from a simple forearm and get trapped on the opponents end of the ring.

Alright! Six points! Next is the lightning round!

OK, so what did we learn from round one?

Well Johnny, let me tell you. First off, his teammates didn't feel he was more then capable of getting a good start to their match.

Maybe they were saving their better wrestler for later in the match?

Would the better wrestler make such rookie mistakes?

Setting up for something bigger?

A bigger fall if anything.

OK, now what about how he worked as a partner?

Are you serious? He didn't even remember which corner to send his opponent?

Yes he did. He sent him straight to his teammates.

Who does that? Oh wait, I forgot. Were talking about the best thing to hit the XWF since Satty...or maybe that was Benjamin Crane....yeah I'm going with the latter.

Alright, time for the lightning round. I name the instance in the match, you give me an verb that best describes it.

All in bro, let's go!

Superplex to Austin by Lennox, pin broken up by Charlotte.

Lucky. Had that been a one-on-one, he would have been done right there.

Lennox and Danger drop Austin in a powerbomb neckbreaker combination.

Violent. He may have been double-teamed, but that would have definitely ended his day.

Davidson tags himself in over Charlotte.

Obvious. He knew if they were going to win the match, he needed to get Austin out of the match.

Alright, that's the end of the lightning round. I'll give you...10 points.

Awesome! On to the final round. Let's review his second match in detail.

I turn back to my computer and start searching for his second match. It doesn't take nearly as long, since both of the videos are on the same account. In fact, I believe this may be the official YouTube page of John Austin. After all the page is PLASTERED with photos and quotes of Austin. Himself holding multiple title belt, most of which I've never even seen. As I scroll through the page, there appears to be a career history for him. As I'm looking, I start to wonder just how he calls these accomplishments.

Hold on, have you seen this?

What is it.

Well according to this, Austin has done quite some amazing things. He was voted "Most Likely to Win World Title", 2011 Rookie of the Year finalist, 2012 Best Promo, 2012 Best Entrance Music, 2013 Newest XWF Rookie!

Sounds like one hell of a "Superstar"

OK, lets go into this final round. We can watch the entire match, take and compare notes. Alright, what was this match?

A tag match at High Stakes.

Another tag match? He can't fight by himself or something?

I don't know. Let's see if he even does anything, unlike his first match.

Kyle and myself sit and watch the entire match from High Stakes. It proves to be quite a good match in fact. It showcases more of what Austin can do, but it still seems like FREAK has the most effect on the match. As the match winds down, we see that Austin does in fact get the decision for the match. After a few moments, Kyle stands up back by the board with his marker in hand. He looks at me and begins to open his mouth...

So, I think he has the potential to be quite the wrestler in the XWF. I mean he did get the pin after all.

Yeah he got the pin. I saw that, but I saw a lot of other things.

OK, lets compare notes.

Kyle sits back down as we go over both our collective notes on the match and review what we saw from his first match. After a few minutes I stand up and walk over towards the board. I take the eraser and takes away everything already written down. I grab my own marker and write down one word...

Overconfidence?

Exactly, this guy has sat here and boasted that he is the greatest wrestler in the XWF. I could understand that if everyone was as bad as Ann Thraxx.

HEY!

Thraxx walked into the living room, after letting herself into the front door. Unbeknownst to Kyle and myself, we didn't even hear her come in.

Oh sorry Thraxx, I didn't think you were coming over today.

I wasn't. I just came to see if you wanted to go to the bar with me?

Not right now, but we can meet you there in about an hour.

Alright. Oh who's this?

I'll explain later.

Thraxx heads back out the door and I turn back to Kyle to continue my point.

Anyways, Austin has yet to prove he can hang with the anyone remotely good in this company. I'm not saying I'm the best, but it won't be long until I am. I plan on being the top dog on Monday nights. Until then, he needs to prove he can beat the best that Madness has to offer. So yes, I know he is overconfident. Just because he pinned Brian doesn't make him great. He needs to prove himself before anything.

So what do we score him?

16 points.

Alright, next on the list is Alex Richards. Now there's an interesting guy. My turn.

Reasons I'm Better Then You

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Highest Viewed Shove It GM Show: 8/31/13