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Cadryn Tiberius · **06-27-2017, 09:34 AM**

I Jest..

The scene opens to Cadryn laying on his couch in the living room, staring off into space looking as if he has something he needs to share with the world. In his head he begins thinking.

I’m home now, thankfully.

Let’s backtrack a little bit, shall we?

High Stakes.

So, Robert Main threw me from the top of a very high up cage, and to the ground below. I splattered like a bullfrog being hit by a semi. My shoulder is broken in multiple places, and I should be on the injured reserve for quite sometime. But, you all know me better than that, ain’t nothing going to keep this cowboy off his horse!

So later that night I drug my drugged up ass back to the ring and entered in the battle royal like I had originally planned and once again gave it everything I had. Albeit, I did my best to protect Doc, because at that point, with my injury, and already being completely drained, I wasn’t winning anything. Doc didn’t need my help, obviously he went on to win the first part of the battle royal anyways, but I felt like I needed to somehow be productive, and that’s what I chose to do.

I was eliminated, by Main, none the less, fitting I guess?

Regardless, they hauled me back to the ambulance and off the the hospital I went. A day or two had passed before Theo had them move me to a hospital where The Kings™ could keep an eye on me. So I laid there, in that bed, for what seemed like an eternity.

Until Saturday that is..

You see, I have this little ability, bestowed upon me by none other than Doctor Louis D’ville that allows me to instantly transmit myself from one location to another. I like to call it poofing cause it makes me laugh, and we all know you laugh at it too. What I’ve failed to mention, prior to what proved to be a pivotal moment, is that for a second or two, time comes to a stand still. For me it feels like years, but I imagine it’s probably only a second or two.

So, if you watched Savage you saw something you probably never thought you’d see. You saw me poof in between a chair shot and Theo Pryce, just to absorb the chair shot.

It wasn’t because I owed them anything, and it wasn’t because I necessarily wanted another injury.

It’s because I believe in fairness and I believe that no man should ever strike a man when his back is turned. So in that moment, I poofed, took the chair shot, poofed out, and reappeared in my hospital bed unconscious, later finding out that I now have a concussion to add to the list.

Theo is my best friend, and I’d do anything for him. Typically, even being a best friend wouldn’t qualify you to get THAT kind of treatment, but I couldn’t stand to see my friends, my family, cheated out of something they rightfully deserved. They were already battling some of the best talent in the XWF on top of Chris Chaos who obviously wouldn’t know impartial if it bit him in the cooter.

So I made the save, and all is well once more.

Sometimes it’s hard to be the better man. I wanted nothing more than to shove that chair so far up David’s ass that Graves would have a place to sit when he got tired.

But, I didn’t. Because that’s not how a man handles himself.

You sacrifice, you achieve, and you show humility.

Speaking of humility..

Mr. Bourbon, I believe it’s time I teach you the same lesson about humility that I taught Robert Main.

Cadryn pulls out his phone and begins watching the first of Robbie Bourbons promos.

Ah, yes, here we go. This is the perfect starting place!

“I plan to absolutely pummel the shit out of Cadryn Tiberius on a parade float, for everybody to see..”

Aw, kitten. You should at least buy me dinner first before offering me such an enticing evening.

It’s been quite a while, hasn’t it, Mr. Bourbon? I do believe the last time that you and I had the pleasure of being in the same ring was the first round of Lethal Lottery where you and Jim Caedus handed my ass to me. Admittedly, you two were the better men that night, and if I’m not mistaken, you, Robbie, were the one that laid me down for the count. That wasn’t exactly my best performance, but hey, I redeemed myself. Managed to get back into the tournament and even made it further than you. That’s not much of a gloating point, though. I once again got busted by Jim Caedus. Which, quite frankly, isn’t that surprising. That man has made a career out of himself just whipping my ass from one side of the arena to the other. We’re friends now though, and that’s really all that matters.

Wait..

I’m wrong..

The last time that we met in that ring, you were dressed, or possessed, or whatever the hell actually happened, as Danny Sex. The dick giving God’s gift that made quite a name for himself in a short amount of time. I can’t recall if you pinned me that night, or if it was Mezian, but once again, unbeknownst to me, I took yet another loss to the one and only Robbie Bourbon.

So, champ, or should I say, former champ..

Looks like you’re already 2-0 against me. If we count the time you put me in the hospital for trying to defend Graves, you’re actually 3-0 against me.

It appears as though my title reign may come to an end very soon…

I JEST.

Do you see what I did there, Robbie? I’m a Jester™ and that’s what I do, I make people laugh. I honestly thought you ate your fatass to death, when you disappeared so randomly. I’m actually glad to see you back. You’re a legend in this business, and you need to continue to wreak havoc as you once did. Though I regret to inform you, you will not be wreaking any havoc on Warfare.

You see, I am what they also call a legend., Maybe our definitions of the word vary, and that’s ok. But I’m not the same man you once thought you knew. I did my best to explain this to Robert Main, but he refused to heed my advice. As you can plainly see, he probably should have.

You see Robbie, you are a man I have nothing but respect for. I’m not going to sit here and call you fat, or tell you how terrible you are, or how much I hate you. That’s just not my style. What we will do however, is go over a few points that you made, so that I can help you to clarify the truth in a growing world of lies and slander.

I’m in total agreeance with you that a man should never lay his hands on a woman, that’s just something I’ve always thought and known, my entire life. A woman is a delicate flower to which needs to be treated accordingly. You don’t smash a flower in the garden and expect it to grow. You nurture it, you love it, and you in turn grow with said flower. And that’s what I’ve done, Robbie. My talent, my abilities, my verbal visage has become one that most of the roster have a hard time contending with. It’s almost like the entire time I was running around cutting dick and fart jokes and acting like a complete dipshit, it was just for fun. Sadly, it wasn’t. I wasn’t exactly the cream of the crop, but those days long gone. I still have fun, and my sense of humor has taken me places that I never expected, and I’m so very grateful.

It’s funny that you called me a bitch, because, that’s exactly what I was. I rode the coattails of whatever superstar would have me for as long as I possible could. It helped for the most part, but it wasn’t the best of ideas. We all make mistakes, and that’s a part of life. So here we are, you and me, and we’re set to give the fans what they want.

A final ending to a rivalry that has long since been forgotten, only to be revived for one night of glory amongst the celebration of our nation.

So, if it helps you to sleep at night to continue thinking I’m a bitch, as you so eloquently put it, then so be it.

But remember that I tried to warn you.

It humors me that you call us, The Kings™ a pack of pricks.

I saw what you did to my friends and family on Savage, pal. You can’t sit here and act all self righteous and then turn around and contradict yourself by displaying the kind of behavior your entire existence has been against. As for our status in this company, you and the rest of the world seemed to have us pegged as the bad guys. Do you not realize that we’re doing our best to clean the company up for the better? To try and put an end to Lane’s corruption, to try and make a better home for you and the rest of the family? Naw, you don’t see that. You see what you want because you’re close minded and obtuse, and that’s ok, we’ll work on that.

Your first attempt at chapping my ass was to call me a stooge, the comic relief if you will for The Kings™.

Let me go on record and say..

No shit.

I’ve never said otherwise.

Do you think before you speak, or do you just hope for the best in this war of words? If you had done your research, you’d know that my entire existence for the moment revolves around making people laugh. Specifically The Kings™. When you make rookie mistakes like this, it begins to make me wonder if maybe you’ve lost a step somewhere along the line. The Robbie Bourbon I once knew wouldn’t make such a mistake.

You also laid claim to the fact that I’ve made the Hart Title a joke, the silver medal, etc.

On the contrary, friend.

This will be my first title defense, and because I do what I do for my millions of fans, I picked you for my first defense. It isn’t because I think I can steamroll over you, it isn’t because I think you deserve it. It’s because that is what the world deserves, your fans and mine. They deserve to be treated to the same high velocity matchups that former Hart Champions have given them, specifically you and Robert Main. You guys put your lives on the line to defend this belt, and I will be doing the exact same. So, no, it definitely isn’t some second tier joke, like you assumed. By the way, how do you make such an assumption when I’ve yet to have a title defense? It’s not like I walk around fighting only those I know I can beat. It’s the total opposite. I pick my opponents based on what my fans want to see, and I pick them based on respect. You, friend, as I said, have all of mine and then some.

You make a similar point by saying that the fans deserve a real champion. A wrecker, a destroyer, a monster.

Do I not peg you as such?

By all accounts, I’ve done nothing but move forward in this company as of late. I don’t claim to be the greatest ever, but I will force you to give me the respect that I deserve, Robbie. I’ve lost a few, won a few, and won a couple titles in the past few months. All the while you’ve been doing your thing and doing about the same as me, sans titles of course, and that’s awesome! I’m all about people bettering themselves, hell, I built a foundation on it.

Oh, look, more jabs about being gay with The Kings™

Listen close, young padawan..

These are old news, guy. You and the rest of the roster rehash the same tired jokes and innuendos over and over again, week after week. If you want, I can help you write some new material, Lord knows you guys need it.

I expected more from you, Robbie. I know what you’re capable of, and these second grade insults are lackluster. I can remember a time where I feared even being talked about by Robbie Bourbon because his words alone could tear through the soul of a normal human like a hot knife through butter.

But again, it seems you’ve lost a step.

The people do want a man, a real man, I’ll give you that. Being “The Epitome Of Manliness” pretty much qualifies me for that, wouldn’t you say? Also, the people do want a Jester™, they want to be entertained, and they want to enjoy themselves. No, maybe not everyone, but the generalization is that laughter soothes the soul, and I do just that.

People associate the word “Motherfucker” with those they do not enjoy, those that choose not to tolerate for one reason or another. So I highly doubt that anyone wants a “Motherfucker” in their life.

So, you’d like me to consider what I’m in for, eh?

Well, alright, let’s do that.

I’d say I’m in for one hell of a fight with one of the greatest to ever grace the XWF. I’d say I’m going to give it everything I’ve got, and I’d say that you will do the same. I’d say that the match will go for quite sometime, neither of us giving up. And I’d also say that once again The Essence Of Excellence will emerge victorious. Not because I’m the best, not because you didn’t deserve it, but because I do. I deserve all of this because while you were off galavanting and taking on false personas, I was here, working my ass off, and winning titles. The people deserve it, I deserve it, and the XWF deserves it. They deserve a champion that will be here for the long haul. Not someone who could have another psychotic break and be gone for the year. I’m not even fully healed from what Main did to me, and I’m still willing to lay it all on the line, Robbie. Is that your definition of a paper champion, an undeserving champion? A guy who has a massive shoulder injury, still willing to give the fans what they want, still willing to go the distance with a guy who is quite frankly stronger than he is?

Well, your definition is wrong, my friend.

I’m not trying to prove anything to The Kings™. I’ve done everything I claimed I would, and they show me as much respect as I am showing you. They shake my hand, congratulate me, and offer me a spot at their table. Why? Because I am a man of my word, a real man, who does exactly what he says he is going to do. I don’t sugarcoat it, I don’t embellish, I just do.

And yeah, you’re right, I called you out. I wouldn’t call that stupid, or proving how stupid I am, however. I call it as it is, which I said, is an opportunity for the world to get what they deserve. I didn’t give you my title, I would never do such a thing. Drowning? Hardly. If anyone is drowning here Robbie, it’s you. Like Main, you’ve failed to do your research. You formed an opinion of me and you ran with it, hoping it would take you to the forefront of victory. I apologize in advance, but again, you’re wrong. You have spent more time talking about The Kings™ and how you feel about them than talking about me, and that’s saddening. For the record, that little ditty about The Kings™ not being able to eliminate you at High Stakes and what makes me think has no bearing here. I’m not forcing you over the top rope, Robbie. I’m laying you down in the middle of that ring, as I have many other before you, and as many others have laid me down as well.

I can.

I will.

“If you think they want to help you, they don’t. If they had your best interests in mind, they would have given Chasm a shot at your title.”

Are you so naive that you think Theo books the matches?

You know damn well that JT, Matthews, and JJ book all of the matches, and that Theo has little to nothing to do with how our shows are ran. I don’t need my friends to fight my battles for me, I do a fine job on my own. Oh, and for the record, back on The Kings™ being the good guys…

I won the TV Title from Thomas Nixon.

It just so happened that Jim Caedus didn’t do his job correctly as guest referee and didn’t give a fair count.

Was it Lane that came out and overturned the title changing hands?

Nope. It was Theo Pryce. My best friend, my confidante, my King.

So before you accuse us of only looking out for our own, maybe you should go study a few tapes of what honor and chivalry are all about, it’s apparent you know nothing about the subject.

As for taking the Hart Title from me, because it’s yours, I did what you couldn’t. I’m the one who ended Main’s streak after he beat you. You lost the title to him, I beat him for the title, thus, you are the odd man out.

“This is the tale of one Cadryn Tiberius, a lost little boy nobody should take all that serious..”

Oh, really?

I implore you to go back and watch the tapes, or to even ask them.

And I’m not speaking solely on wins and losses here, Robbie. I’m speaking about the fact that everyone who has vowed to write me off, has wished that they hadn’t.

Robert Main.

Barney Green.

Chris Chaos.

Thomas Nixon.

Jim Caedus.

Any of those name ring a bell, sugar?

Those are all men, that despite taking losses to some, I took to their limits. I made good on my promise of forcing them to respect me, and to this day, they do just that.

Write me off if you’d like, Robbie, but I wouldn’t advise it.

Cute rap at the end, by the way.

Though, without Caedus to carry the weight for you verbally, It doesn’t have that same entertaining feeling it once did.

I hope that after this is over, Robbie, we can be friends. I don’t want you to take a loss, but you’ve left me no choice. I had to get a little retribution for what you had done to me, and I needed a little closure. But, once again, when it’s all said and done, I would like to think you’d be willing to stand face to face and shake my hand. There will always be a spot at my table for you, Robbie. I still and always will have the utmost respect for you.

Your future loss..

It’s just business.,

No hard feelings, baby.

Cadryn locks the screen on his phone and gently places it on the coffee table beside of him as the scene begins to fade away..

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