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The Monster of Htaed · (09-14-2016)

Mile High Club?!?
Time: 2000
Date: Sept. 12th 2016
Location: Somewhere Over the Atlantic

Bearded War Pig, his agent Arney Greyson, his trainer James Grudner, and a very petite blonde haired stewardess sit aboard one of Arney Greyson’s agency firm’s private jets. Bearded War Pig is blazing a moon rock coated joint and sipping on some scotch, a glass of blue label with one ice cube. Arney is on his cell phone looking all kinds of pissed off and frustrated, James is passed out letting out an occasional snore here and there. The stewardess sits in her seat watching the in flight movie, which no one else took any interest in.

Bearded War Pig inhales a THC filled hit and holds his breath allowing his body to absorb the majority of the hits THC containment. Bearded War Pig exhales out his nose about fifteen seconds later and takes another drag before finishing of his glass of scotch. Bearded War Pig looks over at his agent, who seems like he may have some bad news later on, Arney quickly waves Bearded War Pig away. B.W.P looks over to James, not wanting to wake him and piss him off to the point of no more wrestling lessons.

B.W.P couldn’t deny the man knows what he is doing, it got Bearded War Pig a win against Seth Connors, who is suppose to be some hot shot wrestler and it was B.W.P’s debut ever, not just in the XWF. So his attention turns to the blonde stewardess who sits in her seat, smiling mouth, eyes staring at the screen and earphones pressed gently in her ears. B.W.P takes another toke off of his hog leg and smothers it out in his glass XWF ashtray attached to his armrest. Just as he lets the smoke free from his lungs he moves toward the stewardess’s seat.

Approaching her, he gently presses his hand on her shoulder, in a subtle squeeze as an attention getter. The stewardess jumps a little and then slightly turns left to see who just grabbed her shoulder. She smiles faintly with blushing cheeks, B.W.P just smiles and licks his chops, while she slowly removes the ear buds from her ears. Now with no sound from the movie, the stewardess clears her throat.

“Excuse me sir, can I assist you with anything?”

“Oh sorry sweetheart, I was just wondering if you had any munchie food for us or anything like that. I just got done ripping on a nice doobie and it has me thinking pizza bagels, ice cream, cake, candy bars, any junk food would help.”

The stewardess unclips her seat belt and rises from her seat to the isle and walks toward the front of the plane to the kitchen station, she begins going through the small cabinets looking for something a stoner might enjoy. She finds a couple protein bars and some sweet and salty bars, peanut and almond flavor. Bringing the snacks back to Bearded War Pig, who is once again sparking up another joint. The stewardess holds out the little variety of snacks, B.W,P just raises one eyebrow in disappointment.

“Sorry sir I know it doesn’t seem like much of a selection, but it isn’t our fault here at the air way, we had a call from an Arney Greyson to make sure our food on board was of the healthier variety. He said a pro athlete would be using the jet today and junk food was not on his diet, sir. So it is either this or vegetables?”

Bearded War Pig takes a large drag off of his Marijuana Cigarette and shakes his head.

“Dammit Arney, that little bastard knows I use medical marijuana why the hell would he have the jet stocked with shit! Sorry mam not trying to offend or be disrespectful, my agent just is more a pain in my ass than any help.”

B.W.P looks over at Arney who is still on the phone.

“Fucking Bastard! He is lucky I don’t throw his ass out of this fucken plane! Again excuse my French, bad habit I picked up in the most badass fraternity in the world. I guess a protein bar and a peanut sweet and salty will do for now.”

“Good choice, sorry your agent sucks, if you don’t mind you care to share that doobie?”

B.W.P looks to the stewardess in shock and awe, not thinking a working lady like herself would be into smoking ganja. B.W.P extends his hand holding the joint, offering it up too her. The stewardess takes the joint from B.W.P, quickly taking a few short drags and passes it back.

“Thanks so much, this job can get very stressful taking care of millionaire athletes and what other ever talents the company’s agents find.”

Bearded War Pig just nods as he continues smoking his joint, not paying any attention to the stewardess, just thinking about his upcoming matches, knowing for sure he will make it past the first round. Bearded War Pig keeps nodding in agreement and puffing on his joint. The stewardess catches on and lightly jabs him in the arm.

“You’re not even paying attention you asshole!”

Bearded War Pig almost chokes on the ganja smoke being spooked from the light jab, he drops the joint, and quickly chops the stewardess in the neck lick a secret spy. The stewardess collapses to the floor.

“Oh FUCK! Guess that brings a whole new meaning to Mile High Club, Bahahaha!”

B.W.P quickly reacts by picking the joint up off the floor and taking a couple drags to get the joint to relite evenly. He then grabs the stewardess placing her in her seat, so she won’t fall out he buckles her in. He then places her headphones back in her ears and walks away like nothing happened, of course he didn’t leave the snacks she brought for him to choose from.

Bearded War Pig walks back over to where Arney is still on the phone and James still passed out, both men with B.W.P on their way to Ireland for Wednesday Night Warfare, where their client has a tag team tournament for a shot at the tag titles. Once arriving close to Arney he sets the snacks down in his seat and grabs Arney’s phone and crushes it from smashing it repeatedly into his own head. Bearded War Pig stands staring a hole through Arney’s head, while his own trickles a little blood. Arney winces back in fear, while James jumps up from his seat startled, once seeing it is just B.W.P loosing it on Arney, he sits back down and closes his eyes.

“Dammit Arney why the fuck do you think I need to eat healthy? you don’t have any fucking faith in me do you? I won my first match ever with ease against someone who has spent his whole life on the mats! Fuck yeah I will take it even if he was a rook here in the XWF, all of the greats where once here in my shoes, everyone starts here, but look at the track record, the company has faith in me, already booking me in a tag tourney for a chance at the titles. Fuck, that alone should be good enough for your little tikes’ ass, I need real fucking food!

After Ghost Tank and I win the tag tournament, you won’t stick your damn nose in my fucking business besides dealing with my money that I put in the account for investing, schedule all my professional shit, and leave my personal stuff alone, yes dieting is personal in my books. I don’t need a fucking baby sitter, I am a grown ass man. I survived a multiple combat deployments sure had some real close fucking calls, but I am here ain’t I? May not be the most stable of men, but I damn sure am a survivor, I am going into this tournament at the top of my game, head clear, and aware of the award and risk.

See now you set me off, my doctor says I need to work more on not letting little things trigger my PTSD, but I am all fuck it. If I have a problem with a fuckface, I am going to tell him to fix his face. So can you promise me after we win the tag tournament you will lighten up on the reigns?”

Bearded War Pig lights up another doobster while waiting a response.

“Yeah sure, no problem, while your hyped, want to talk to the fans?”

“Fucking right I do, set the cam up and prepare for a bomb to drop!”

Arney Greyson with a little shit in his pants begins to set up the camera, while B.W.P is getting himself more amped up with some light slaps to the face and chest. Arney then gives the tumbs up.

“Well hello their everyone in the XWF world, I am on my agents private plane right now, you know taking my medication, and getting some business things taken care of, on our way to Scotland. You know what the fuck that means, right? It means we are getting closer to the tag tournament, I know you all are extremely excited about that, I know I fucking am! I also know their is a lot of talk on how I don’t deserve to even be in the tournament, but isn’t that the reason for the tournament, to eliminate those not worthy of the titles.

Damn Straight it is, so all you haters, the fans, and fellow wrestlers who don’t believe eat my ass and suck my cock! This tournament is going to show exactly what I deserve and that is some gold. None of the pansy ass fuck toy teams in the tournament are going to stand in my way. The brass and balls obviously knows what they are getting with me and come Wednesday the whole world will too.

Yeah I am not very seasoned in wrestling but I have plenty of everything else that makes a good wrestler, heart, brawn, brains, stamina, strength, dedication, discipline, leadership, mental toughness. All things every Marine needs, especially us grunts, you know the guys sleeping in shit huts, fighting holes, and putting lead to flesh and bone! Just like in combat I am going to destroy everything in my path during the tag tournament and every match I have after. I am not here to be a push for anyone, I am here to climb the mountains and shatter records.

Bearded War Pig has just begun to start havoc and chaos, I am going to move mountains, destroy towns, and conquer men from singles to tag, from standard to hardcore matches. I promise the things to come from myself will be unbelievable and make you all know you are getting your moneys worth. I will be the fastest rising star the XWF has ever seen and if you don’t believe me, just look at where I am at after my first match ever in the wrestling world.

Who else just walks into a federation and gets a shot at gold with in two weeks and has never even wrestled a single second of his life. Yeah I know a lot of MMA and my trainer James Grudner taught me a lot over the last month or so since I started working with him. So if you saw my match against Seth Connors and how quick I ended it, well now I have even more in my arsenal, so watch out gay boys.

I don’t know who exactly we will be facing, but I do know none of them have a clue what it is like to have a hog on your scent, the wild pig is one tough son of a bitch. Come Wednesday night, all the teams that will square off with Ghost Tank and myself will know why I am called the Bearded War Pig... My tusks are sharp and I am gunning for blood! Oink, Oink!”

Bearded War Pig screams in a rage as the scene fades to black...

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