XWF fans the world over remember the name Tommy Gunn. They remember him as being Paul Heyman's hired mercenary of "justice". They remember him as the man that helped turn Kendall Sawyer and Steve Davids into Champions. They remember him as the guy who kicked the shit out of every single person put in front of him. Man or woman. It didn't matter. Tommy did not discriminate. But mostly, people remember him as the uncle of the kid who beat XWF legend superstar wrestler employee Peter Gilmour. That's right, the one and only, Christian Gunn.

When last we saw Tommy Gunn he was kicking former 2 time X-Treme Champion Mastermind's teeth in. A hard fought victory insofar as Tommy actually broke a sweat this time. Once the match was over Tommy Gunn essentially disappeared from XWF television. Rumors swirled as to his whereabouts. Was he taken out as part of a revenge plot by family, friends or associates of one of the countless people he killed as an Army Sniper? In the days leading up to his match with Mastermind the Army had come calling asking for him to return to the service. Did Tommy go underground? Or more likely did Tommy develop a severe drinking and drug problem as a result of his probably undiagnosed PTSD and eventually blew his brains out?

The answer is....


































































None of the above.

The truth is, as it always was, and as Tommy Gunn said from the onset of his career in the XWF, he was brought in for one reason and one reason only. To do the hard jobs for Paul Heyman. To jobs consisted of making champions and removing roadblocks. It was his job and he did it well. But once Paul Heyman decided to take a leave from the XWF and instead focus his attention on "His Beast" and the WWE, Tommy Gunn decided that his time in the XWF had come to an end as well. The Heyman Alliance was gone. It's founder was gone. His best friend, his only friend, Steve Davids was gone. It was time for Tommy Gunn to do the same.

So where is Tommy Gunn?

Where IS Tommy Gunn?


Gleason Elementary School
Undisclosed Small Town America


"Alright shitstains, line up. It's time for my favorite game in the whole wide world...Dodgeball. Or as I like to call it "School Sanctioned Bullying."

As the camera zooms out we see a group of 8 students standing in a row near the center of the gym. It's very clear from just looking at the kids which ones are athletic and which ones are like Frodo Smackins. No, not vile little cocksuckers, but rather the nerds. The kids who get stuffed into toilets and lockers. The bullied. The Chris Isles, Mason Prince and Tush's of the world.

"Alright here's what we are going to do." Gunn reaches into a small brown box and pulls out 4 red shirts and 4 blue shirts. He then walks up to the line of kids and proceeds handing the shirts out to each of the kids. "Put these on. When you are done I want the kids wearing red to stand on this side." Gunn says as he points to his left. "And the kids in blue I want to stand on this side." This time Gunn points to his right.

Once all 8 kids are wearing the shirt they were given and are standing where they were told to we see a very clear pattern emerge. All of the big, strong, athlete types are on one side and all of the small, runny nosed nerds are on the right.

Gunn then walks over to a metal crate and picks up 4 black bouncy dodgeballs. Aka School approved weapons. He then lines the 4 balls up in the center of the gym in a straight line.

"Ok you little devil children here's the rules. But before we get there team Red is going to be called "Team Gunn" and team blue is going to be called "Team Frodo." Now, when I blow this whistle." Gunn says as he holds up the small metal whistle attached to a lanyard hanging around his neck. "Each of you will run like hell to the center of the room and try and pick up a ball. If you grab one of the balls it is then your job to try and hit someone on the other team with that ball. If you throw it and they catch it in the air you are eliminated. Which means you will go and sit on the bench over there and think about all the ways in which you are an disgrace to your parents. If you throw the ball and hit your opponent anywhere on their body and they do not catch the ball then they are eliminated. Which means they get to go sit on the bench and think about why they are a disgrace. If someone throws a ball at you and you catch it one player from your team that has already been eliminated gets to come back into the game. Likewise, if you throw the ball and hit your opponent in the face and draw blood, not only is your opponent eliminated but you also get to bring one of your previously eliminated teammates back."

The kids all start looking around at each other when Gunn mentions the word blood. Most likely thinking to themselves, "I want my mommy."

"Now the object is to be the last person left standing. As an added bonus the last person eliminated from their team will have to line up against the wall, their back to the wall and stand there as each member of the opposing team gets to throw one ball as hard as they possibly can at you.

The lesson here. Don't be a loser.

Ok you ready?"

Gunn pulls the whistle up to his mouth and blows it. No, not like how Frodo Smackins blows dudes two at a time. But like how a normal person blows a whistle. None of that stuff.

As expected the 4 non nerds all reach the center of the gym first and grab one of the four balls, which of course sends the band geeks into immediate retreat like Christopher Isle's testicles when he hears that a girl looked in his direction. .

One of the kids in team blue goes flying face first into the ground after getting hit in the back of the head by one of the balls while in mid retreat. The kids head smacks off the ground and he lays there motionless for a few seconds but play carries on. One of his teammates concerned for his fallen comrades safety bends down to check on his friend only to take a ball right to the chin. Just like Frodo.

Two down for Team Frodo, none for Team Gunn.

The two big kids on Team Gunn responsible for the eliminations high five each other and take a few steps back and watch as their teammates put an end to this exercise in futility.

One of two remaining kids on Team Frodo picks up one of the loose balls and attempts to throw it at Team Gunn but the ball falls a few feet short of anyone. When the kid realizes his failure he stands there frozen like a deer in headlights as he sees two members of Team Gunn simultaneously taking aim at his face and two seconds later there is only darkness.

Three down one to go.

"Alright cockbreath." Gunn says, pointing at the one remaining member of team Frodo. "This is your moment. Are you going to seize it or wilt under the pre..."

Before Gunn can even finish his sentence the one remaining soldier on Team Frodo get's pelted by two dodgeballs. First in the junk and then in the face.

Double Whammy.

The kid immediately grabs at his privates and then falls forward onto the floor, resting in a fetal position.

"Well then, that went about as expected. Now you all heard the rules. You there..." Gunn says as he points to the kid still lying fetal on the floor. "Take your place along the wall, take it like a man."

"I'm nine years old Mr. Gunn."

"That's plenty old enough. Now get on the wall. If you don't then each member of your team will take turns on the wall in your place."

The other kids on his team all start looking around scared. One of him may, or may not have shit himself.

Rather than risk the same fate the fallen child's three teammates walk over to him, lift him to his feet and drag him over to the wall.

"Perfect. Ok Team Gunn. Each of you grab a ball and line up."

The four members of Team Gunn each pick up one of the black dodgeballs and then line up on the line that Tommy Gunn is pointing at. The last eliminated member of Team Blue is slumped up against the wall, his back resting on the wall.

"Ready...

"Aim...

"Excuse me. EXCUSE ME!!"

Tommy Gunn turns around to see Vice Principal Wick standing there in all her overweight glory.

"What exactly is going on here?"

"Hello Vice Principal Wick. Just a spirited game of dodgeball."

"Dodgeball? Mr. Gunn, you know as well as I do that Dodgeball was outlawed in schools years ago."

"Did I say Dodgeball? I meant Darwin Ball."

"Darwin Ball? What is that?"

"It's like Dodgeball but with an added twist."

"Twist? What twist?"

A devious smile comes across Gunn's face as he looks at the Vice Principal, a look that in return elicits a look of fear from Mrs. Wick.

"FIRE!!!"

Without warning all four members of Team Gunn throw their dodgeballs as hard as they can at the boy slumped up against the wall. All four balls hit their target in various places on the body. Two in the face, one in the stomach and one in the dick region. The boy lets out a loud cry and then falls to the floor where he lays in a puddle of his own urine and tears.

"MR. GUNN!!!" Mrs. Wick screams. "In my office!!! NOW!!!"

"But what about the game? The kids? I can't just leave them here. There is a lesson to be learned here and I need to teach it to them."

"You won't be teaching these kids anything. Ever again." Mrs. Wick screams at Gunn while also pointing towards the doors. "My office."

Gunn takes his whistle off and tosses it on the floor and then walks towards the exit doors with Mrs. Wick in tow. Neither of them say a word during the roughly two minutes it takes for them to traverse the halls and get to the Vice Principals office.

"Turn over your keys Mr. Gunn, you're fired."

"Now let's not talk crazy. You do remember who my sister is right?"

"Even your sister, the Superintendent won't be able to save you. Not this time."

"You sure about that?"

"I sure a..."

Ass and titties. Ass and titties. Ass and titties and big booty bitches.

"What is that?"

"My phone." Gunn says as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. He taps a button and then places the phone against his ear. "Speak."

"Hey Gaylord Fucker, it's John Madison."

"What do you want?"

"I need you to wrestle this Saturday on my show."

Gunn doesn't respond, he simply pockets his phone.

"Fuck you I quit."

Fade to Black.