*We open with a beautiful shot of the ocean with the sun beginning to go down. All of a sudden we see something sailing through the air before finally dropping into the water. This happens a few times before the camera finally pinpoints where the objects are coming from and zooms in. That's when we see a stretch hummer parked on the beach with a long piece of artificial turf spread out across the top of it and a man standing on the turf hitting golf balls into the water with absolutely perfect form. Of course the man is none other than one of the newest members of the XWF roster, Dr. Honkey Shadows. He hits a couple more balls into the water before finally hopping down off of the hummer with the golf club in his hand and a smile on his face as he looks into the camera and starts to speak.*



Well hello there XWF, say hello to da new guy. Ugh... I felt dirty just saying that, I'm sorry English language, so very sorry. Anyway, although I'm new here, I'm no stranger to the XWF. Oh no, as a matter of fact I'm pretty sure that I'm an expert on the subject. While I may not have been here participating I have been at home training and watching everything that has happened in this federation. When the XWF was going head to head with heavyweight companies like Shane 's CCWF and Jon Page's Dynasty Wrestling I was watching. When Kore failed to win the Universal Title countless times, I was watching. When Jon Brown went nuts and thought he was Paris Hilton, I was watching. James Raven's run as owner, The Reboot, Barney Green's beheading, Cyren jerking off on a bum, John Cable's poorly executed porn scenes, Peter Gilmour's Peter Gilmourness, and even that time where the shit happened with that chick that nobody talks about, you know what I mean. The point is I've seen it all, I know what it takes in order to keep your name in the mind's and on the lips of people all around the world which is exactly what I plan on doing. You see my dim witted peasants, that's why I'm here, to leave a legacy which nobody in the XWF has ever or will ever be able to top. Everything will be set in motion when I step into the ring for the very first time on XWF television this week on Warfare and prove to everyone exactly why I will be an unstoppable force in this federation for years to comes. Which is great news for me, however if your name happens to be Colt Griffin, well, fate is a cruel mistress.


I mean what are the odds that you would have the misfortune of joining the XWF around the same time as a man who will one day be the first name that people think of when those three little letters come to mind? I suppose that means that I'm going to "steal your spotlight" doesn't it hot shot? Then again how exactly were you planning on keeping that spotlight anyway? With your witty remarks that none of us have ever heard before? Please Colt, the only light that people are worried about then when it comes to you is the one that they need to step towards in order to permanently escape from the overused drivel that you seem to be able to regurgitate on command. I'm sure that trick really steals the show at parties with all of your Hollywood buddies who are constantly so strung out on coke that they can't tell the difference between you and somebody who actually has acting talent. Oh and for the record, no, no I don't care how much money your movies make or how many people that you've fooled into believing that you can act your way out of a shit filled paper bag. A wrong opinion doesn't suddenly become right just because a lot of people believe it to be right. If that were the case then since Limp Bizkit sold a lot of records they must have talent, Mike Jones, Lil Wayne, Vanilla Ice, Mc Hammer, The Backstreet Boys, and the list goes on.


Keep your numbers to yourself kid because I'm not interested, they change nothing. While we're at it let me tell you something else that I'm not interested in and that's whatever wrestling skill that you think you have. You see Colt you could come down to the ring with a gang of those mongoloids you call fans following you right into the ring and it wouldn't matter. No matter what you do, you will not have any effect on the outcome of this match. Why? Simply put, to break it down into corny cliche terms you can understand, "you aren't in my league" nor are you "in my tax bracket". Better luck in your next match though little guy, perhaps in that match you'll actually be able to make a difference, I doubt it but hey, there's always a chance.


*With that Dr. Honey shakes his head and steps climbs into the back of the stretch hummer. The driver then steps out to pack up all of the golf equipment as the cameras fade to black*