X-treme Wrestling Federation
Sarah and Raion, Sittin in a Tree - Printable Version

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Sarah and Raion, Sittin in a Tree - Jenny Myst - 01-31-2023

.............Jenny turned off the ninja blender.

The concoction inside the plastic tube was an awful looking mix of red and brown, a bit chunky but also disgustingly smooth. Popping off the top and drinking it right from the container, audible gulps as the odd colored partially chunky liquid slid down her throat and finishing with a loud "AHHH", she set the container down and wiped her face. The gross liquid now mixed with her black lipstick and off-white fascial makeup, making her look like a rabid racoon with herpes sores.

She set the empty plastic cylinder down and picked up her X-Title, putting it over her shoulder.

"You knowwwwwwwwwwww.......................

Sarah makes a solid point. Not only would 90 percent of America rather watch golf on mute than listen to a Raion Kido promo, but he HAS had some rather easy bookings as of late, no? He HAS had some matches that you give to the new comers to get their feet wet, not a former Universal Champion with a Win-Loss record better than the 90's Chicago Bulls. He has his work cut out for him in round one as the wheel has determined. Praise be. But since we all have to sit here and watch this promo battle unfold (honestly, it's like watching Battleship in a nursing home--some entertainment, some chaos and confusion, some nasty words, a whole lot of snooze enducing anime garb) with a 20somethinggoingon13 using words that should get a Dove bar to her tongue and the XWF's resident stucco wall, a little ideaaarrr came to this head of mine.

Hear me out.

I have to put my body on the line every single week. No matter what match I have, what show, what day of the week, hour of the day or what fucking timezone, my belt is on the line. I don't have a choice in the matter. I can't take a week off. I have to be better at all times.

Sarah Lacklan is a former champ and a staple of the XWF community. She's also hilarious, and well, you know, us women have to stick together! Raion Kido has the golden goose in his back pocket and still refuses to make it shit the golden egg. He has a chance to break the moral fibers that make him who he is and cash in that briefcase on Mark Flynn. I mean....we know Raion can't beat him, he's proven that, so what is he waiting for?

Is he waiting for his babynuts to drop and get the slightest twinge of public hair before making the move that could forever change his career? Or does he even have nuts?

We KNOW Sarah has nuts. Big saggy elephant nuts. We KNOW she would use the briefcase the way it is designed to be used. We also KNOW that she would totes tell us ALLL ABOUT IT and would be rather insufferable for a couple weeks (months). But at least it would be a whole hell of a lot more then whatever it is you are doing.

Think about it, Mark Flynn versus Sarah Lacklan for the Universal Championship….could be MATCH OF THE YEAR……or or or or maybe she cashes in on Flynn? I know that’s a weird concept to you.

But you're all high and mighty, constantly on the moral soapbox, preaching to everyone about how small and dingy their soapbox is compared to yours. Why don't you prove you're as good as you say? Why don't you put that briefcase on the line in Round 1? Ya know, make your loss worth something?"


RE: Sarah and Raion, Sittin in a Tree - Noah Jackson - 01-31-2023

I inhale deeply letting the bullshit sting my nostrils and let out a sigh with a smile.

"I love getting free ammo for promos, makes my job so much easier! Jen, keep this up cunt you're doing great work out here."


RE: Sarah and Raion, Sittin in a Tree - Jenny Myst - 01-31-2023

Raion being the company's newest face on the dartboard is promo ammo? 

Good to know. 

Look forward what hearing what monotonous bullshit recycled from everyone else's promo's and slapped together with sophomoric humor and child-like fluidity you come up with about me. Baited breath."


RE: Sarah and Raion, Sittin in a Tree - Noah Jackson - 01-31-2023

[Image: sml-chef-pee-pee.gif]


RE: Sarah and Raion, Sittin in a Tree - Charlie Nickles - 01-31-2023

Stop sniffing my farts and taking credit.


RE: Sarah and Raion, Sittin in a Tree - Noah Jackson - 01-31-2023

(01-31-2023, 08:40 PM)Charlie Nickles Said: Stop sniffing my farts and taking credit.

"Yeah Jennifer! Stop taking credit for what other people said!"


RE: Sarah and Raion, Sittin in a Tree - Charlie Nickles - 01-31-2023

Noah thinks you 'say' farts, probably because all he ever does is spew bullshit and hot air when he touches a mic. I can't wait to watch this guy take another 11 month vacation after his second round loss.


RE: Sarah and Raion, Sittin in a Tree - Raion Kido - 02-01-2023

(01-31-2023, 07:12 PM)TheQueenofXtreme Said: Why don't you prove you're as good as you say?

“The person you're offending with this is not me, it's your own boyfriend. You brought him back to teach me a lesson and he failed, and now you're flirting with Sarah so she can do the same.”


RE: Sarah and Raion, Sittin in a Tree - Jenny Myst - 02-02-2023

(02-01-2023, 07:59 AM)Raion Kido Said:
(01-31-2023, 07:12 PM)TheQueenofXtreme Said: Why don't you prove you're as good as you say?

“The person you're offending with this is not me, it's your own boyfriend. You brought him back to teach me a lesson and he failed, and now you're flirting with Sarah so she can do the same.”

So, is that a yes? Or is that a "I'm too much of a pussy? Help me understand, exalted one!


RE: Sarah and Raion, Sittin in a Tree - Raion Kido - 02-02-2023

(02-02-2023, 02:38 AM)TheQueenofXtreme Said:
(02-01-2023, 07:59 AM)Raion Kido Said:
(01-31-2023, 07:12 PM)TheQueenofXtreme Said: Why don't you prove you're as good as you say?

“The person you're offending with this is not me, it's your own boyfriend. You brought him back to teach me a lesson and he failed, and now you're flirting with Sarah so she can do the same.”

So, is that a yes? Or is that a "I'm too much of a pussy? Help me understand, exalted one!

"It's a “You don't get to challenge me for someone else.”. Especially when I've beaten both you and your boyfriend."