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BRRRRRRRRRR (/showthread.php?tid=43874)



BRRRRRRRRRR - Angelica Vaughn - 06-17-2022

San Antonio Community College
It was a beautiful, hot afternoon one day near…

…and the protagonist of our story find herself in the dean’s office.

For those unaware, Angelica has been enrolled in Community College for quite some time now, looking to earn a business degree and earn her degree in business management. Getting a high school degree after dropping out of high school to pursue her wrestling dreams had been hard enough, but Community College had proven to be a beast of a different kind.

Angelica had always considered herself talented, but not very smart. It was one of her greatest insecurities. And once you made a list of how many insecurities the leggy blonde of legend actually possessed, that was pretty telling. So Community College was perfect for her. It provided a fair intellectual challenge, but never stood in the way of her wrestling career or FUN-raising events. She loved her time in the SACC. And as the leader of the Kappa Alpha Tau sorority, she felt it was her duty to enlist in possibly the most prestigious contest her college had ever organized. And this… This was her submission… [/color[

”Okay, Miss Vaughn, very excited to hear what you have to offer! As the saying goes, take it away and show us what you got, wa-hay!”

Dean Henderson, a small bespectacled man who had lobbied VERY hard to convince a global wrestling superstar to enrol in his college (not that he needed to, see above…) was absolutely giddy that his star moneymak-… errr, star exposu-, errrr star ACADEMIC pupil had volunteered to help write the THEME song to the San Antonio College! Because why would this VERY legit, academically VERY solid, completely and totes and obvs TOBVS research facility NOT possess a theme song, whereas the Great Gates of Kiev, the Parthenon, the Colosseum and other historic landmarks totally did?

Those were the questions that kept Dean Henderson up at night, and it was about time to see his most famous of all pupils change that.


”Certainly so, mister Dean sir!” Angelica responded. With all of her conviction, she straightened her back and felt like a million bucks. She started snapping her fingers, bopping her shoulders, and looked back at the non-existent jazz orchestra behind her. Because there wasn’t one. It was literally the Dean’s office and her.

”Aaaaand a one! Aaand a two! Aand a one two three four…

BBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!””


That’s right, folks. Angelica Vaughn and her instrument of choice had descended upon poor San Antonio Community College. The vuvuzela shattered every record, and every eardrum, that were in the vicinity. And as the dean lamented his life choices, plugging his ears with his index fingers to the best of his ability, he tried to undo the heck that he himself had created.

”No no no no noooooooo! QUIET PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!”

Confused and somewhat bewildered and discouraged, Angelica removed the piece of plastic from her lips and looked at the disturbingly unimpressed onlooker.

”Exsqueeze me, mister Dean sir, did I do something wrong? I thought it sounded rather fantabulously amazeballz!”

The Dean did his very best to recuperate in time. Nevertheless, he found it hard not to offend his star cash cow, errrrrrrr…. student…. whilst still exercising his first amendment rights. He used the back rest of his chair for support to keep himself upright and tried to find the words.

”Wow, Angelica, that was… interesting! And… layered! One might almost say it’s a bit… too complicated for the layman’s ear! Yes! That’s it! Too layered! As you’re well aware, this is only a community college, so we do have to make it coherent towards the…

”Oh tish and pish!”, Angelica exclaimed. She was clearly none too pleased. After all, months of practice had just gone down the drain.

”I thought that was a magnificent composition! Did you not notice the references inside of the third second of the BRRR that were clearly a throwback to the history of the SACC where someone froze to death behind the bushes of the frog dissection department in the harshest of winters of ‘78!? I mean, what more do you expect? You wanted a theme made by a current or former student… check… using instruments and/or voices available on campus… check… referencing relevant historical facts… check…. encouraging people to enroll in our school… which is the biggest check of all! Who wouldn’t want to join a school where World’s most beautiful instruments gets its fair share in the limelight on a daily basis?”

”I… will take your commentary into account, Miss Vaughn. And as such, seeing as you’re such a valued member of our community college, I would be happy, to, at least, guarantee you a place on the podium! Isn’t that fantastic!??

But to Angelica, a place on the podium might as well have been equal to being thrown into the chasm at the foot of Mount Taygetus. True Spartans will get the reference.

”Podium?? PODIUM?? Let me answer that question with another question!”

”Do… I have to?”

”Suppose your life has been nothing but a series of disappointments, and then you finally find something you’re very, very good at. Except a certain SOMEONE wants you to believe that you’re not quite so special after all, implying that you are, at the very best, mediocre at doing wha t you love…”

The Dean quickly raised his hand, as if he was the one student, not the other way around.

”Ummm, to rebut that with ANOTHER question… Are you talking about wrestling right now, or playing the vuvuzela?”

Angelica’s thoughts were stopped in their tracks for a second, there. In a way, the dean was right. But her feelings were still hurt nonetheless.

”I… I mean, I was talking about my vuvuzela, but I see your point. My entire life I’ve been underestimated. Now, I’m not saying Adi Gold is going to declare me slim pickings for when we face off, but I bet you she’s going to see me as a stepping stone for the rest of her XWF career, like so many others have done before her. And I’m not holding that against her, I guess it makes sense. I’ve been a case of ‘close, but no cigar’… Just like at Leap of Faith. I came close. I was very competitive. If there was a podium then, I probably would’ve made that, too. But that’s the thing, Mister Dean Sir, I’m not in the podium business. I’m in the winning business. And everything short of a win is a failure. That’s how it has to be if you want to survive in this doggy dog world.”

”… you mean dog eat dog?”

”Yeah, that’s what I said.”

”Actually, you…”

”N-E-Ways, I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you’re not first…? You’re LAST! So thankies for nothing for declaring me last!”

With tears welling up in his eyes, Angelica tucked the vuvuzela underneath her arm and turned on her heel. But desperate not to upset her, the dean launched himself forward, throwing himself in between Angelica and the door. He got on his knees and balled both his hands into a begging fist.

”I AM SORRY! Please don’t hate me, Angelica!! Please don’t quit our school! You’re so famou-… I mean, of such great academic value to our school, we would hate to see you go! But really, did you HAVE to pick the vuvuzela? You could’ve picked up a recorder, played Mary Had a Little Lamb and waltz out of here with the school theme song in your back pocket! So far your harshest competition is Big Dawe who simply played his music box of a simplistic version of ‘Only You’, for Pete’s sake!”

”Quit… school? Why would I do that? I’m in this for the long haul, mister Dean sir, and when I do something, I do it appropriately! No no noes, I am not quitting over this! However, I am VERY disappoint that you just assumed I would completely forsake my ideals and preferences just to adhere to a status quo that is pleasing to the mainstream opinions!”

”BUT WHY THE VUVUZELAAAAA?? IT DOESN’T EVEN SOUND LIKE ANYTHIIIIIIING!!!”

”Wow, rude! It’s not my fault you don’t understand its many intricacies, its multi-layered depths of tone, and its untapped potential as THE jazz instrument of the 21st century! Just imagine what Beethoven could’ve done with it! Or Mozart!!! Can you imagine how music would’ve evolved if they’d had access to the sweet, sweet sound of its dulcet baritone? Can you??”

”I… would imagine they wouldn’t be Mozart or Beethoven, to be honest…”

”Exactly! They’d be even more transcendent! And we’d have much better music than that weirdo mumble rap you hear a lot of these days! I mean, what ever happened to articulating your words? Using your lips to form sounds? Which is exactly what you need to do when utilizing the vuvuzela to its full potential, by the dubs! I bet a TON of the great artists of old would’ve seen their legend grow even bigger if the vuvez was part of their repertoire! Louis Armstrong, Miles Davis, Ray Charles,…”

”Ray Charles would probably be wishing he was deaf as well as blind…”

”Pardon?”

”Errr… NOTHING!”

”Oh, okies. For a second there I thought you said something very offensive, totes unworthy of a dean of a prestigious school!”

Dean Henderson beamed.

”Yeah, I guess it is rather prestigious!”

”SO prestigious in fact, that the only theme song worthy of this VERY prestigious school would be the sweet, sweet dulcet baritones of a vuv-”

”NOOOOOOO, Miss Vaughn I’m sorryyyyyyyy, but I caaaaaan’t!!”

”Wow okay, so much for the core values of diversity and inclusion embedded in the philosophy of this school then, I guess!? Sir!!?? I am DISAPPOINT! But it’s cool beans, I guess. I’m looking forward to hearing the submission that DOES embody all the parameters you are apparently strictly adhering to! Good day, mister dean sir!”

With big, strong strides of long, toned legs, Angelica strode out of the office with her vuvuzela under one arm, and her hurt pride at the back of her throat. Today was clearly not her day. But it’s like they say… It’s always darkest before the dawn.



[Image: dNzoMKD.jpg]



”Hi-hiiiii, friendos of all shapes and colors! Welcies once more to the #COOLest of Tubes, hosted by the One, True Vaughnemous One! Props to Cousin Pete for coming up with the Vaughnemite moniker though, let me tell you I am totes jelly as flame! BUT! As I’ve learned very recently… You just can’t always get what you want, in spite of your best intentions. Sometimes you think you have it aaaallllll figured out, only to realize that your best wasn’t good enough.

I learned it here at school, when my submission for the school’s theme song was HARSHLY and UNJUSTLY cast aside! Just one of the MANY things I’ve learned here. But I also learned it at Leap of Faith, when I came oh so very close to winning the darn thing! Does Raion have my number, or what, right? I just can’t seem to beat that tall, blonde fellow! Of course, we tall blonde people are like super amazeballs at the stuff we do, but still…

Now, it did teach me quite a few things. Always gotta learn from your mistakes, right? It’s taught me that eternal glory isn’t unattainable. It was within hand’s reach once, and if I want to make sure I grab it next time, I just have to work harder, be faster, be stronger, be better. And there’s no better training than Adi Gold.

FIRST OF ALL, Adi, can I say that I love your name? If this were Australia I’m sure everybody would be cheering ADI ADI ADI! OI OI OI! It’s so fun! But not just that. As Henna the Hen, one of my chickens at the ranch, likes to say: ‘You sure do seem like a good egg’! However, what will happen to you once you hatch is completely up to you. Unlike many chickens, you are completely free range, you’re not caged or confined. So I’m interested to see where you end up. Whether you will walk the high road, or take the ground beneath.

Now, you’re relatively new to the XWF as a competitor. And that’s fine, obvs, so am I. But you already do seem to have a massive following, and that’s a testament to your admirable comportment. I won’t sit here and blow smoke, claiming that I agree with all of your life choices, but hey… We’ve all had weird crushes and the like, right? Now, *my* crush, who I won’t disclose on here… fine, it’s David De Gea…, is a lot more handsome and taller than yours, but that’s totes okies! It’s not a competition! Just saying, like, if it WAS, I’d win!

But I only need to beat you at one thing, Adi, and that’s our Savage match. The importance of which is not to be underestimated! I had a pretty good run before Leap of Faith, but literally came up short when the chips were down. And I really dislike being short, let me tell you. I am, after all, FIVE FOOT ELEVEN! But what’s in the past is done, and we can’t change that! This isn’t WWH, after all. So we need to look forward to the future. And what do I spy with my little eye, waiting on the horizon? That’s right! WAR GAMES BAY BAY!

And I am officially declaring myself draft eligible! There you have it! So if I want to be drafted right at the very top, I need to do one thing: impress! Which is easier said than done, because in order to do so, I will have to put up good numbers. After all, draft analysts prefer numbers and stats over actual tape, so I don’t just need to look good in the ring, I need to stack up some dubs! And you, Adi, would be a significant dub indeed. And trust me, I realize the War Games draft is also part popularity contest, but in the end, people want to win you know? Myself included. So I need to go out there and impress!

Beating you would accomplish that. You seem like a tough cookie. I can easily look past your pretty girl exterior and see a very capable competitor who’s not just going to roll over. I bet you’ve been underestimated like that in the past. But you won’t fool me, Adi! That’s one card you won’t be able to play. When our match is over, you’ll have to settle for silver instead of Gold. And as has been well established, if you’re not first? You’re last!

For this cycle, I have one clear objective in mind: be a first round draft pick for War Games and win the whole heckin’ thing! Like Kitty Jesus says: always shoot for the stars first, you can always aim lower later! But I don’t intend to. I know we can’t always get what we want, but we can WORK for it. We can train, we can achieve our goals, and we can become a force to be reckoned with, one way or another.

Now, Adi, I wish you the best of luck. I truly do, because I bear no ill will towards you. But you can be certain that I will kick your teeth out if that’s what it takes. I need you in my win column, because my record leading up to the draft has to be impeccable. Do you have the same ambition? The same hunger? The same desire to be the very best, like no one ever was? That’s right, do you embody the spirit of the Pokémon theme song?? Because I do! I’m like Ash Ketchum, except I want to be a wrestling master, and I want to BEAT you all! So err… Ang Beatum? Yeah, that works! Siri, take a note!

…wow, I just had ANOTHER thought. Imagine a reworked version of the Pokémon theme song using only vuvuzelas! Siri! Take another note! It’s going to be revolutionary!

N-E-Ways, this is where I will have to leave you, my beautiful Vaughnstars! Catch us on Savage, and watch me beat ADI ADI ADI! OI OI OI! …as the road to War Games begins! Toodles, and kisses and kitties!”


-fin-