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+--- Thread: Anarchy - 06/09/22 (/showthread.php?tid=43805)
Anarchy - 06/09/22 - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 06-12-2022
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| LIVE!!! |
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| FROM THE ROSE BOWL IN PASADENA, CALIFORNIA! |
 Mastermind - vs - "The" Jessica Anderson Referee: Mr. Referee |
"Good Time" Stevie McKeown - vs - Jamaican Jimmy Referee: Mika Hunt |
Bam Miller - vs - Elijah Martin Referee: Chaz Bobo |
FOR THIS SHOW: VITA VALENTEEN - vs - GENERIC HEEL RUBY - vs - "VENOM" XAVIER LUX |
FOR THIS SHOW: BOOTS LICHTER - vs - JASON CASHE HGH - vs - DOLLY WATERS |
Tommy Wish & Big Money Oswald - vs - Centurion & Lord Raab Leftovers Random Tag! The four remaining Plumpies (participants in the PP tournament, according to Sarah) must team up and defend their block's honor! TAG TEAM RULES! (1 collab RP per team) Referee: MARTY |
 ![](HTTPS://i.imgur.com/PagksUn.png") FOR THE ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP Unknown Soldier - vs - "La Reina" Daniela Raye-Weathers Referee: Ari Silverstein |
![[Image: gR8affl.png]](https://i.imgur.com/gR8affl.png)
We see “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane and Bama T. sitting at their booth, but we can’t sear anything they are saying because of
ALL
THAT
FREAKING
PYROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
After all the booms and pops, the announcers apparently are finished, so we just go to the ring!
Mastermind - vs - "The" Jessica Anderson [color=#FF1493]Referee: Mr. Referee |
Cameras go to the ring as Jess Anderson’s music plays. She’s already in the ring waiting.
Vinnie Lane: "Jess Anderson…. Things have not gone her way yet here on Anarchy!"
Bama: "All it takes is one win to go on a streak though, bossman. Who knows, that could start tonight!"
A figure is seen walking out from the back wearing a black hooded sweatshirt on. The hood was over his head so he couldnt be seen, and his head was looking down.
He stood in a stance. And as a white light appeared on his front, he unzipped his sweatshirt and showed the front of the t-shirt:
![[Image: 4235893084%20Front.jpg]](http://www.ooshirts.com/gen_image/4235893084%20Front.jpg)
As it continued he turned around and took off his hooded sweatshirt and revealed the back of the t-shirt which read:
![[Image: 4235893084%20Back.jpg]](http://www.ooshirts.com/gen_image/4235893084%20Back.jpg)
He turned back around and stood in a pose as the white light bathed on him to reveal: MASTERMIND
He then smirks as he walks all the way to the ring, with the Misfits Manager Antony The Jerk, walking not far behind. Followed by Melanie 'Crayzee' Childs and Kris 'The Hammer' Von Bonn.
Vinnie Lane: "But her opponent is a returning stalwart amongst the XWF ranks, Bama… it’s the Kiwi Krusher himself, MASTERMIND!"
Bama: "Wait a minute… HE WAS THE HOODED MAN WASN’T HE??!"
Vinnie Lane: "Man, you are SO far behind…"
DING! DING! DING!!!
Mastermind immediately charges across the ring and turns Jess Anderson inside out with a clothesline.
The fired-up former X-Treme Champion batters the fallen woman as his partners in crime cheer him on outside the ring.
He lifts Anderson in a goozle and choke slams her half to death, then repeats the process a second and third time.
With a sick grin on his face, Mastermind walks in a circle around the ring with his arms outstretched, then moves to where Anderson lay on the mat, grabs her ankles, and flips her into the Mind Controller!
Anderson quickly starts wailing in pain and tapping vigorously at the mat… the ref calls for the bell!
DING! DING! DING!!!
| Winner by Submission - Mastermind |
Vinnie Lane: "WOW! I have never seen MM go hard like that! I’ve been watching the man perform for eight years, and this is the most fired up he has ever been!"
Bama: "Sometimes all you need to find your mojo is a little time off, boss… I think Mastermind found it for sure!"
"We need to talk.."
Theo Pryce didn't look happy. He had a stern glare on his face as Jason Cashe drags his feet and approaches his representation.
Theo Pryce: "What the fuck is that?"
Cashe straightens up and looks back over his shoulder. Unsure of what Theo was talking about. He looks down as that was where Theo extended a pointing finger. Cashe was barefoot and had a bandage wrapped around his big toe on his right foot.
Jason Cashe: "What? My feet?!"
Theo Pryce: "Are you injured? We cannot afford any injuries right now Jason! How serious is it? Did you contact the company Doctors? Why wasn't I informed? Do you know how this makes ME look?!"
Jason Cashe: "It's jus-"
Theo Pryce: "NO! You listen while I ramble about ME! I have a reputation to uphold and YOU will NOT embarrass me!"
At this time, Ned Kaye walks into the locker room. He is drinking on a slushie. It was Cherry flavored. Looking from Theo to Cashe, Ned felt the tension in the room and stopped drinking from his straw. Cashe nods and gives Ned a grin.
Jason Cashe: "He's trying to do his best Chris Page impression.."
The sound of slurping through the straw returns as Ned just shakes his head and goes about his business. Not breaking character, Theo continues to dig into Cashe the way Chris Page dug into Elijah Martin during his Action Wrestling promo.
Theo Pryce: "Damnit Jason! When I say jump, you JUMP or I will END you!"
Ned Kaye: "That got dark really quickly…"
Looking as if he might get teary eyed, Cashe started trembling in his bottom lip.
Jason Cashe: "You.. You would unalive me?!"
Theo Pryce: "Are you injured?"
Jason Cashe: "It was an ingrown.. It was a battle, bled a little. Boiler Room round two since apparently we are underselling that match by comparing it to Chris Page and Robert Main.."
Theo Pryce: "Typical Chris Page.. It's hard pretending to be this big of an asshole.."
Finally Theo was breaking away from his mockery of Chris Page.
Jason Cashe: "If Page is a big asshole then Elijah Martin is puckered and deflowered one. I'm getting rather bored with this dude.. Now Bam?"
Ned Kaye: "Bam Miller could be a lot of fun!"
Theo Pryce: "I imagine that CCPE will have something planned tonight. You have Boots Lichter tonight so keep your head on a swivel because be it Maga or CCPE, the numbers game will be against us."
Shrugging, Cashe wasn't worried about numbers. He expected shit to hit the fan and get flung. That was the business.
Jason Cashe: "CCPE is sending the toenails to play footsies with us, I'll stomp on feet. I'm looking past Elijah though! If Bam wants to clap up with me, let's get to it! Otherwise the focus is on Boots, the Pigeon and doing what Elijah will NEVER do again.. Win the Anarchy Title. That's the shortlist. That's the game plan."
Theo Pryce: "That's good to hear. I believe it. I am excited for what we are doing, what we are building in this room right now and what is still to come."
Ned, pausing from his slushie, lifts his cup.
Ned Kaye: "Hear Hear!"
Jason Cashe: "Soon Sarah Lacklan is going to start calling me Mr. Anarchy and CCPE, Team Maga, not even big ass Oswald will be able to do a DAMN thing to stop it! Ten toes down, feet planted. I'm ready to go!"
Theo slaps the outside shoulder of Cashe before reaching over and nudging Ned to his.
Theo Pryce: "I'll leave you to it then! Let's make some noise!"
Leaving both Cashe and Kaye in the locker room, Theo shuts the door behind him. Cashe begins to get his boots on and a song is sung as the scene starts to fade.
Jason Cashe: "We've Only Just Beguuunn!"
"Good Time" Stevie McKeown - vs - Jamaican Jimmy Referee: Mika Hunt |
The camera pans to Jimmy who was already in the ring, with a joint in his mouth he was smoking with.
Stevie comes down to the ring, all focused as he simply climbs over the ropes and just stands there looking at Jimmy, as his theme dies down.
Before the bell even rang, Stevie was already pear harboring Jimmy on his back with a few punches, and he managed to grab his head, and slam it on the top turnbuckle. Once the bell had rung, Stevie then grabs Jimmy by the head and knees him and connects with an Atomic Drop on Jimmy.
Vinnie Lane: "Dang, Jimmy is getting floored out here with Stevie, someone bring in the towel!"
Bama: "Well I don’t think Jimmy needs a towel, since he likes to wrap himself in backwoods instead."
Stevie then looks into the hard cam and mouth, “this dude’s a joke!” and he gets him up on his feet and beams him to the ropes and hits a Lariat on Jimmy. He then covers Jimmy, but pulls his head up, then he goes to the corner to see Jimmy getting up to his feet. Then he comes up to Jimmy, who then beams Stevie in the gut with a few punches.
Jimmy then starts to punch Stevie, and even lands an Elbow on his shoulder blades, but Stevie overpowers that move, and he locks in a Wrist Lock, with a Elbow Smash on his back. Then he does a Stalling Suplex on Jimmy for ten uninterrupted minutes, then slams him down on the mat. Stevie then looks at the Rose Bowl ladies, who he blew some kisses to as the camera shows them swooning over him.
Vinnie Lane: "Jimmy tried to get something, but Stevie’s abilities are way too much for Jimmy to handle."
Bama: "I mean, even if he had called the power of Snoop Dogg to aid him, Jimmy wouldn’t even have a Gin and Juice to help him take out this young man."
Then he looks at Jimmy, and he mouths “you’re finished, bummy weedman!” towards him, and he lifts him up and he hits an old school hotshot on the ropes. Then he see’s Jimmy dazed and on his feet, and he whips him to the ropes and hits a Double A Spinebuster on him and the Rose bowl arena becomes lively.
Then he waits for Jimmy to get on his feet, and he locks in the…
NIGHT NIGHT TIME!!!
JIMMY IMMEDIATELY TAPS OUT!.....
Vinnie Lane: "Oh this one is over folks… Jimmy gave in!"
Bama: Looks like his weed dealer is coming to kill him with how fast he tapped out.
| Winner By Submission - "Good Time" Stevie McKeown |
Bam Miller - vs - Elijah Martin Referee: Chaz Bobo |
The lights on the entrance way go dark as "Blueprint 2" by Jay-Z begins... as the song reaches the 21-second mark and the beat drops, an explosion is heard and the stage lighting comes back up, revealing Elijah Martin standing at the top of the entrance way. After about ten seconds of standing still to take in the crowd in the arena, Martin casually makes his way to the ring, yelling some random things at the crowd on the way.
He walks around to the hard cam side of the ring and hops onto the apron towards the end of the first verse of the song. When the song transitions into the chorus with the beat drop at the 1:25 mark, Martin raises both arms in the air and yells "I'M THE KING, MOTHAFUCKAS!" After a couple of seconds taking in the mix of cheers and boos, Martin steps into the ring and just paces around a couple of times before stopping at his corner and taking an ass bump to sit against the bottom turnbuckle.
Vinnie Lane: "Elijah Martin is one of the most dominant stars on Anarchy! His championship reign may be in the past, but with a win over Bam Miller he might just place himself back into the championship conversation!”
Bama: "Title belts are the last thing on Elijah’s mind right now, Vinnie! He’s out here to settle a grudge with his stablemate!”
Vinnie Lane: "They’re not in a stable, Bama! They’re both signed to CCPE!”
Bama: "Same thing!”
The sound of a motorcycle is heard as it rolls on stage with Bam Miller on it. He points around to all the fans before riding down the ramp and riding around the ring. He parks his bike and high fives a fan in the front row, then gets a Miller Lite beer tossed to him. He walks up the steel steps, and walks slowly into the middle of the ring. He opens the can up and as soon as the can touches his lips pyro goes off behind him. As the pyro stops Bam Miller walks over to the corner to wait for the match to start.
Bama: "Bam Miller is a bad man, Vinnie Lane, and he’s coming out here to do bad things to Elijah Martin!”
Vinnie Lane: "This is going to be a good one!”
The ref calls for the bell and the two wrestlers immediately begin circling each other. Bam and Elijah eye each other for any opening, but neither wrestling finds any weak spots. Instead, the two men charge to the center of the ring where they tie up in a grapple! Elijah pushes Bam back a couple steps, but Miller is quickly able to put the brakes on it. Bam digs his heels in, then pushes Elijah back a couple of feet from within the clinch! Then, both men break the clinch by pushing off!
Bama: "These guys are just about the same size, Vinnie! Neither man has a strength advantage here!”
Vinnie Lane: "These dudes are both hardcore brawlers too, Bama, so expect some fists to start flying!”
Bam and Elijah stand in front of each other before they both crack big ol’ smiles. Both men raise their fists and begin to make small circles around each other, like two boxers looking for their shot. Bam strikes first, lashing out with a jab and a cross, but Elijah slips both punches. Martin nails Bam Miller with a liver shot before slicing him up with back-to-back jabs finished off with an uppercut that sends Bam into the ropes! Bam bounces off the ropes, just to run back into Elijah’s arms and be flipped over with a scoop powerslam!
Bam clutches his back and grimaces in pain as Elijah steps off him. Martin quickly follows up with a flurry of boots to his grounded opponent’s head and shoulders. Elijah only steps the curbstomps to pick Bam Miller up and toss him into the corner turnbuckle. Elijah hollers some harsh words to Bam before charging his way, straight into the corner!
STRAIGHT INTO BAM MILLER’S ELBOW!
Elijah rubs his chin as he is forced to back away from the corner. Bam Miller follows up by running at Elijah and grabbing his head. Bam jumps off the mat before bringing Elijah down with a running bulldog! When the two men get to the mat, Bam Miller keeps his arm around Elijah’s neck, holding him in place so he can land multiple punches in a row! Elijah tries to defend himself, but Bam Miller has him in a haphazard chokehold while unleashing a flurry of punches!
Vinnie Lane: "Bam Miller has Elijah right where he wants him!”
Bama: "It looks like it’s Miller Time right now, baby!”
Bam Miller continues choking and punching Elijah in the center of the ring with no remorse, despite their shared CCPE affiliation. Elijah is quickly bloodied by the monster punches, with cuts opening above his eyes and on his cheeks. Elijah brings his hands up to Bam’s arm to try and dislodge the chokehold, but it’s no use! Bam has locked it in amidst the slew of big fists to Elijah’s face!
Vinnie Lane: "We’ve got color now, Bama! This match is getting brutal!”
Bama: "Elijah Martin needs to do something, quick, if he wants to get out of this tough spot!”
New cuts continue to open on Elijah’s face as Bam continues to hammer away. The referee asks Elijah if he wants to tap out from the chokehold, but Elijah tells him to eat shit. Instead of quitting, Elijah slowly brings his knees up to his chest. Then, Elijah stops trying to dislodge the chokehold with his hands. Elijah grabs a firm hold of Bam Miller’s pants before trying to lift himself up to a standing position. Bam Miller keeps the chokehold and the punches going strong, but he doesn’t notice Elijah’s subtle shifts in positioning. Before he even knows it, Elijah Martin is stepping up to his feet while lifting Bam into the air by the tights! The punches stop when Bam finally looks and notices he’s being lifted, but before he can do anything Martin brings Miller down to the mat, slamming him on his back! Miller releases the chokehold and squirms on the ground as Elijah lay on the mat, clearly exhausted as can be.
Vinnie Lane: "Elijah finally got out of the devastating punching chokehold, but at what cost?! Just look at him!”
Bama: "He’s a bloody mess!”
Bam Miller and Elijah Martin both rise to their feet with the assistance of opposite sets of ropes. Elijah’s face is dripping blood everywhere, so he tries to wipe his forehead and eyes clear off the bloody sweat mixture that had formed. Bam Miller decides to charge straight at Elijah, but Martin clears his eyes off just in time to see Bam heading his way! Elijah ducks down just in time to backdrop Bam Miller over the top rope!
But Bam doesn’t fall outside the ring! Instead, Bam Miller lands perfectly on the ringside apron! Elijah doesn’t realize this, however, and he takes some more time to wipe away the blood that keeps leaking onto his face. Bam Miller grabs Elijah and puts him in a rear naked chokehold from behind the ropes!
Vinnie Lane: "Bam Miller isn’t known as a submission artist, in fact submissions are considered one of his weak points, but he must be training them hard or something because his chokeholds look great tonight!”
Bama: "Bam Miller is always working to improve his game, Vinnie! It wouldn’t surprise me if he went overtime in the gym preparing for this big match against Elijah Martin!”
Bam Miller holds onto the chokehold tightly, but Elijah Martin is able to escape it by repeatedly ramming his elbow into Bam’s ribs. Miller reluctantly releases the choke as he brings his hands down to clutch his injured ribs. Elijah quickly snaps around and grabs a rough hold of Bam with both of his hands. Elijah throws Bam’s arm over his head before he suplexes him over the top rope and into the ring! The whole ring literally shakes from post to post due to the force of the two men colliding with the mat!
Vinnie Lane: "What a fantastic counter from Elijah Martin! Great wrestling like that is what made him the longest reigning Anarchy champion in recent memory!”
Bama: "Bam Miller almost had him again, but you know, maybe he really should just stick to brawling!”
Elijah wipes even more blood off his face before he hops on top of Bam Miller and hooks the leg for a pinfall attempt after the big suplex.
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!
Vinnie Lane: "Bam Miller barely got the shoulder up!”
Bama: "That was a huge suplex, baby! I’m not surprised Bam Miller needed a few seconds to kick out, because I don’t think anyone could kick out early after a move like that!”
Elijah Martin pounds the mat in frustration as the blood falls off his face like a scarlet waterfall. As Elijah rises to his feet, Bam Miller pushes himself up onto his hands and knees. Elijah shakes his head from side to side, causing a cascade of blood to fly from his face in every direction. Elijah positions himself behind Bam Miller as the man slowly begins pushing himself up to a standing position. Like a hunter stalking his prey, Elijah Martin loads up his forearm while slowly he stalks his opponent. The crowd goes crazy, because they know exactly what move Elijah is setting up.
When Bam Miller finally rises tall, Elijah charges at him from behind with an extended forearm! Martin drives a sliding forearm into the back of Bam Miller’s skull! Bam collapses to the ground, clearly knocked out!
Bama: "DEATH BY FOREARM! DEATH BY FOREARM! BAM MILLER IS DOA, BABY!”
Elijah roars in the center of the ring to rambunctious applause from the audience. Martin then flips Bam over onto his back before he hooks the leg for a pin.
1!
2!!
3!!!
| Winner by Pinfall - Elijah Martin |
Elijah slides off of Bam Miller, leaving a trail of blood and sweat in his wake. The referee calls for Elijah to stand and have his hand raised, but the winner is clearly too exhausted to entertain such theatrical gestures. Both Elijah and Miller rest flat on their backs in the ring, obviously worn out after having given the match their all.
Vinnie Lane: "That was one of the most intense matches I’ve seen all year! Both men gave it their all, but only one man was able to walk away victorious!”
Bama: "And that man was Elijah Martin, baby! Once again Elijah Martin has shown everyone that he owns Thursday Nights!”
Vinnie Lane: "A match this brutal would drive most people apart, but I have a feeling Bam and Elijah are going to be closer than ever after going through this slobberknocker!”
After the match Bam Miller and Elijah Martin shake hands to show each other respect, Bam then proceeds to walk over and grab a microphone from an XWF staff member. He then paces back and forth in the ring with a smirk on his face as Elijah chills in the right turnbuckle corner, Bam stops and raises the microphone to his lips.
Bam Miller: What you just witnessed was two of the baddest motherfuckers on the planet go blow for blow in the ring. Neither one of us went easy on each other just because we are CCPE and after the carnage, you saw we put each other through I just want Ned, Cashe, and even that bitch Larry Tact to know we will do even worse to them.
The fans erupt with boos towards Bam and Elijah.
Bam Miller: Yeah yeah get it all out of your system but it won't stop the beating they all have coming. All three of those guys do a lot of talking on Twitter with their Twitter fingers but will see how tough they all are when we finally see them face to face because, to be honest, I only think Cashe is the only one that has the balls to show up for a fight….
Bam gets interrupted by someone's theme music as “Pieces of Man” by Drown starts blasting over the speakers and the fans jump out of their seats. Bam and Elijah look disgusted at the reaction and then the lights cut out. Royal blue lights flicker on the stage while golden spotlights scan the crowd before focusing on Larry Tact at the top of the stage. He opens his arms and puffs out his chest, soaking in the crowd’s reaction before bellowing and making his way down the ramp and the commentary team speaks on what's going on.
Bama T: "Well I’ll be DAMN! Larry Tact from Level Up has showed up on XWF Anarchy."
Vinnie Lane: "This is fucking AWESOME dude, Bam issued a challenge on Warfare last night and tonight Larry shows up to handle his business before he and Bam do battle at Chris Page Cannabis Cup."
Bama T: "You can cut the tension with a knife as it looks like business is about to pick up on Anarchy."
Larry Tact stops at the end of the ramp as he stands inches away from the ring as he's handed a microphone by an XWF staff member.
Larry Tact: It's about time the XWF was tactilized!!!
The crowd obliges a cheap pop.
Larry Tact: I feel like it was inevitable I would eventually show up here, given all the fierce competiton raging Anarchy and Warfare around this company… even to the point of Madness. Quite a few names I'm familiar with, but not all for the best of reasons. Take Mr. Tough Nut here, Bam Miller and his pal, Elijah from the Bronx. Bam, you made a mistake and Elijah should have known better than to have allowed you to do it. You asked for me to show up. Well here I am, and I'm not here to exchange verbal jabs like we did on Level Up EXP 26. No, I came here for a fight and like I said in our interview, I have no respect for you or Elijah which means, come out here or I'll go in there. Either way, I'm here to make you MY LITTLE BITCH!!!![/white]
Bam becomes irate as the fans cheer at what Larry just called him, Bam kicks at the ropes a few moments before stepping out of the ring and they begin brawling on the ramp as they trade blows between each other. Larry gets the upper hand as he continues to work Bam with rights and left punches to the head. Larry follows it up by bouncing Bam's head off the barricade, Bam tries to regroup as Elijah blindsides Larry with a forearm to the back of the head and then sends Larry into the steel steps.
[color=#00BFFF]Bama T: "The number advantage of CCPE is being put on display now."
Vinnie Lane: "Looks like Tact should've brought some Game Changers with him."
Elijah throws Larry into the ring as Bam grabs two steel chairs. Elijah continues to rain down punches on Tact and Bam Finally rolls inside with both chairs. They both kick at Tact until he stops fighting and they both take a chair. Both with a sinister look on their face they both raise the chairs all the way back behind their heads for the momentum of the swing to be devastating on impact but as they begin to swing The fans cheer and come out of their seats as Jason Cashe and Ned Kaye come running through the crowd.
Vinnie Lane: "It's a party now boys."
Elijah and Bam drop the chairs and meet Cashe and Ned as they enter the ring, a brawl starts to take place as all four men just start beating the shit out of each other. Cashe and Ned start to gain momentum and start getting revenge for what happened at Leap of Faith but as they start to turn the tide, The XWF Supercontinental Champion Peter Vaughn comes running down the ramp to join in the fight.
Bama T: "CCPE with more backup."
Peter hits Ned with a clothesline outside the ring and follows him outside as they brawl at ringside, trading punches with one another, back inside the ring Bam and Elijah double team Cashe now in the corner as they hammer him with punches and kicks, Cashe stays up longer then most would but eventually drops in the corner and Bam puts his boot to his face, while this is going on Larry Tact has risen and looks pissed off as he stares a hole through Bam. Larry turns Bam around and hits him with one hell of a spinebuster that shakes the ring, Elijah looks back and tries to go help Bam but Cashe is back up and tosses him to the outside and follows behind and they start brawling into the crowd meanwhile at ringside Peter bounces Ned’s head off of the commentary table.
Bama T: "Hey watch it, we trying to commentate here!"
Back inside the ring, Bam is getting lit up by Larry Tact for a moment but Bam starts to gain momentum, and now it's an even contest as they go blow for blow in the middle of the ring. The fans cheer as they exchange blows, Larry looks to use one his finishers an Uranage Suplex he calls The Humblingbut Bam reverses it looking for the Miller Time but Larry counters that and they return to trading punches before XWF security comes out in full force to put an end to the beatdown.
Vinnie Lane: "It's about time security came and put an end to this Anarchy!!!"
Security finally gets some order in the arena as they've been able to separate CCPE from Cashe, Ned, and Elijah. Both groups talk trash to each other as security escorts CCPE up the ramp
Vinnie Lane: "Will be right back as Security regains order here in the arena so we can move to the next match, stay tuned for more XWF action."
Vinnie Lane: "Alright dudes and dudettes I just got a call from Theo Pryce and he told me that the June 22nd edition of Wednesday Night Warfare’s will now feature a 3 on 3 match between the team of Elijah Martin, Bam Miller and Peter Vaughn taking on Jason Cashe, Ned Kaye and Larry Tact. Should be a great one!"
Vita Valenteen - vs - Generic Heel |
As the opening riff of "Bloody Tear" tore through the arena the crowd jumped to their feet! Vita makes her way down to the ring, slapping hands with her fans along the way. Vita then slides into the ring and postures for the crowd as her music dies down.
Vinnie Lane: "Vita Valenteen! What a roller coaster ride her career has been, Bama… low key not many people have influenced the landscape of the XWF to the degree that Vita has. From championships across multiple brands, to unintentionally inspiring the birth of the BOB, to being a dang VAMPIRE!”
Bama: “Yeah she’s okay. Now shush, Vinnie, the great GH is coming out!"
The 40 piece symphony finishes getting set on stage to play "Thus Spake Zarathutra." The aisle is lined on both sides with some smokin' hot Asian chicks.
The symphony plays but no one emerges from the curtain. The conductor looks around, confused, then starts again from the top.
Again, no sign from GH. The symphony stops and everyone looks perplexed, especially Vita in the ring.
Finally, a herald holding a clipboard emerges, wearing head to toe exclusive Generic Heel fan club merch.
Herald: “Excuse me! May I have your attention please! As president of the Southern California Chapter of the Generic Heel’s Only Official and Approved Certified Fan Club, it is my great displeasure to announce that Generic Heel, the reason all of you came to the arena tonight, and, quite possibly, all of your fathers… will not be here. He has not yet returned from his record-breaking and superhuman swim across the South Pacific after his appearance on Madness near Fiji, and will have to forfeit tonight’s contest.”
| Winner by Forfeit - Vita Valenteen |
Herald: “BUT! As per the specific language in the Generic Heel exclusive performance contract, recognized the world over as the single greatest contract ever written, a forfeit does NOT count as a loss on the permanent record of the Generic Heel!”
| Still Undefeated for Life - Generic Heel |
Herald: “Thank you! Buy some Generic Heel merchandise on your way out of the arena, since you all will be leaving early now.”
The crowd boos as the official raises Vita Valenteen’s hand in victory.
Vinnie Lane: "Well that sucks!”
Bama: “Why? GH is out breaking world swimming records, Vinnie, that’s way more important than coming to the Rose Bowl just to beat Vita!"
Ruby - vs - “Venom” Xavier Lux |
The lights in the building start to flicker, matching the opening riffs and drums of Disturbed's 'The Infection'. After the intro, a brief pyro explosion goes off in the entrance and as lyrics of the song begin, Xavier Lux steps out from behind the smoke left by the pyro. He stands there sporting his finest black and green gear, looking around at the XWF crowd most of whom boo him loudly after his recent actions. He shakes his head in disappointment and instead focuses on those that do cheer loudly, and even try to fight the boos with a brief “Venom! Venom!” chant. He smirks before making his way down the ramp, keeping his focus on the ring. Once he gets to ringside, he hops on the apron, wiping his boots showing his respect to the canvas where he is about to practice his craft. He then gets inside and makes his way to the corner, climbs to the second turnbuckle and again just looks around at the crowd who is now giving him a mix reaction. He acknowledges a fan here and there who is showing him support before hopping down from the ring; he checks in with the ref and then gets ready for the match as his music dies down.
Vinnie Lane: "Here comes the man known as VENOM! Bama, what do you think a guy like Xavier Lux can do in the ring against an Anarchy LEGEND like Ruby?"
Bama: "Well he's a real tough cookie, Vinnie, but the XWF is a heck of a proving ground... it's gonna take all he's got!"
Ruby simply comes down to the ring, we see her on a harness safely flying down to the ramp, where she flies down, as the fans are cheering her on. She stops to sign a fan's creepy poster of Centurion's surgically repaired backside, then shakes her head and continues down the aisle next to the fans. She gives them some high fives, and she slides into the ring, and he taunts the crowd as he theme dies down.
Vinnie Lane: "And here' the three time, three time, THREE TIME Anarchy Champ! Ruby told be earlier tonight that she's dedicating her performance here in this match to the memory of Centurion's butt. Talk about motivation!"
Bama: "RIP to Centurion's butt cheeks."
DING! DING! DING!!!
As the bell rings, Lux and Ruby shake one another’s hands and go back to their corners. They get out of the corners, and they do a collar and elbow, and Lux manages to push her to the corner, and breaks it off by three, but gives her a slap in the face as he backs away. Then they lock up again, and Lux puts her in a Side Headlock, but Ruby manages to beam him to the ropes, and she connects with a Gut Kick, and she does a Sitout Facebuster, and covers Lux…
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!
Vinnie Lane: "Man these two are going at the speed of lightning here tonight, neither are going to give up!"
Bama: "I mean these two are fighting to be the top person in the Pigeon Rankings."
Lux immediately gets on his feet, and Ruby dishes out a series of kicks, and one of her kicks got blocked by Lux, and he follows it with a Dragon Screw Legwhip, then he elbows and lock in her left leg to add pressure. Ruby manages to grab the bottom rope, and Lux breaks it off. He picks Ruby up and gives her an Uppercut to the ropes, and she beams off of it and he connects with a Hip Toss. Ruby eats another Hip Toss from Lux, and she rolls out of the ring.
As Ruby was out of the ring Lux took his time to flex at the hard cam, while the fans where booing him. Then Ruby gets on the apron, and while Lux was saying disparaging remarks to the people in Rose Bowl arena, Ruby comes in with Springboard Crossbody on Lux.
Ruby is on high alert, as she hits Lux with a series of Kicks, which lead into a Pele Kick to knock Lux off his feet. Then she does a Drop Toe Hold on Lux to the Middle Rope, and she goes to the top rope and hits a Diving Leg Drop on Lux’s head on the Middle Rope, which blew the crowd up.
Vinnie Lane: "Man, Ruby is going 100% against Lux, that even he’s thinking she’s going way beyond him!"
Bama: "Well Vincent, she is a superhero who needs to fight beyond her means, look how she dove off that top rope on to him."
Ruby was holding her backside in pain, as she was standing on the floor, Lux then regained some senses and follows her outside, and he grabs her by the hair and he slams her head on the Steel Steps, he does it again, until one of the fans in front row screams at Lux. Lux then looks at the fan, who splashes beer in his face, and Ruby uses this distraction Double Axe Handle Lux in the back, and does it some more, then she slides him back into the ring.
Ruby then enters the ring, and she locks in an Armbar, but Lux manages to overpower her and breaks it off. Then he uses his arm she locked in, and slams her to the mat, and he simply Deadlifts her into a German Suplex with a Bridge for the pin..
1!
2!!
RUBY KICKS OUT!!
Vinnie Lane: "Lux couldn't get all of it, I guess he’s too confident he’ll find her kryptonite at some point in this match."
Bama: "I don’t think so with how things are going between them, unless he can find some."
Lux then confronts the ref about the count, and Ruby does a Chop Block onto Lux’s knee, then she does a Dropkick on a kneeling Lux, and she goes to the top rope. Then she goes for a Moonsault which connects, then she does a Standing Moonsault, which also connects. Then she does an Bow and Arrow hold on Lux, she applies the hold as tight as she can, until he breaks out of it by getting on his feet.
Ruby then climbs on the back of Lux, and locks in a Sleeper Hold onto him, Lux somehow manages to beam her to the corner to break off the attempt. Then Lux then beams himself on Ruby for a Corner Splash, then beams her to another corner to hit her with a Splash, but she ducks it, and she hit’s Tajiri’s Tarantula on to the ropes!
The ref counted to four, as she breaks it up, and Lux was crawling on his knees, as Ruby was on the Apron, then she goes for a Springboard Leg Dop, but Lux moves out of the way. Then he gets on his feet and slams her with a series of Bodyslams, then he follows it up with a Snap Suplex.
He then lifts her up to her feet, and places her on the corner, then he taunts to the crowd, and he beams her with THE TOXCIN….
As she slowly stumbles off the corner, he hits…
THE CURE!!!
WAIT A MINUTE A RUBY CUTTER OUT OF NOWHERE!!!
Vinnie Lane: "What the heck is that!?!?!.... IS RUBY GONNA CAPITALIZE ON THIS MOMENT?"
Bama: "WE SHALL SEE…. BOTH OF THE COMPETITORS ARE OUT OF IT!!!"
Vinnie Lane: "But Ruby landed on top, Bama!"
1!
2!!
3!!!
| Winner by Pinfall - Ruby |
Vinnie Lane: "Ruby escapes with a W in a hard-fought match... but it looks like Lux is not ready to accept the decision!"
Bama: "Xavier Lux is looking awful butthurt in there, he's got the official by the collar and he just threatened to wollop him!!"
Xavier Lux swings a punch toward the referee, but Ruby catches his hand and shakes her head at him, admonishing him.
Lux yanks his hand away from the Super Dear-O, then stomps off toward the back in a huff.
Boots Lichter - vs - Jason Cashe |
Boots Lichter comes out on stage, to the crowd's unanimous booing with Father Jefferson Cheney at his side. O-Bay T. Law is missing, having been subpoenaed by congress for his presence at the Capitol on January 6th 2021. Boots and Cheney move down the aisle and into the ring without much fanfare.
Tig: From Sayre, Pennsylvania... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTS... LIIIIIIIIIIICHTEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!
Vinnie Lane: "Boots has been really impressive in the PP Tourney, Bama! I wish it wasn't all because of the company he keeps, though...”
Bama: “Ha! You said PP!"
The hymn-like hum vibrates through the area before Lauren Hill soundfully brings in the chorus. Jason Cashe comes out from the back with Josslynn Spencer holding his hand. His eyes are covered by sunglasses. Looking around the arena at the live audience, his eyes stay hidden behind the shades. Taking a long drag off an air joint, Cashe howls up into the sky, a few fans howl with him. Josslynn gives him a 'good game' slap to the butt and they head down to the ring.
Tig: From Houston, Tejas by way of Decatur, Georgia.. A truly Troubled One they call DiOGee.. Jaaaassoooon! CAAAASHE!!
Stopping as the aisle turns to ringside, Cashe drags a foot creating an imaginary line. This is the line where when passed, the talking stops. Giving Josslynn a kiss, she heads around the ring as Cashe steps into a jog, leaping up on the apron onto his left knee. He stands, ducking under the top rope to enter the ring. Taking off the sunglasses as he enters, he rushes across the ring and launches them deep into the crowd. Growling a roar to the live audience, showing he was ready to scrap.
Vinnie Lane: "Jason Cashe is on a roll in this tournament. He's been a favorite from the start and has lived up to it at every step along the way... but tonight is a heck of a challenge!”
Bama: “I'll say! Team MAGA has put the legend Centurion out to pasture in recent weeks, and Boots Lichter has really surprised people in this tournament! This one's gonna be for the ages! Let's goooooooooooooo BRANDON! Ha!"
DING! DING! DING!!!
Boots and Cashe circle around the ring for a brief moment before they lock up! Lichter goes for an eye gauge, which goes unnoticed by the referee, and gains the upper hand, bringing the DioGEE down with a DDT!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!
Vinnie Lane: "Dirty move from Boots Lichter, but Cashe wasn’t going to go down!”
Bama: “Dirty? Have you seen Jason Cashe?"
Vinnie Lane: "Figure of speech, Bama!”
But Boots Lichter isn’t done yet. He attempts to go for the Chokehold, but Cashe fights back, and pushes him away! Cashe lands an open palm chest slap and Lichter reels back, and Cashe follows up with a sound bell clap, then lands a Float Over Snap DDT! The former politician goes down like his approval rating, and Cashe goes for the cover!
1!
2!!
Kickout!
Vinnie Lane: "Nice effort by Cashe, but he couldn’t get the job done!”
Bama: “Just like you and Roxy every other night!"
Vinnie Lane: "HEY!”
Cashe goes for some mounted punches - NO! BOOTS LICHTER WITH AN EYE RAKE! Cashe loses his advantage as Boots breaks out of the hold, and tosses him in an Irish Whip! Cashe comes back on the rebound but Boots lays him down with a Clothesline from Hell!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!
Vinnie Lane: "He’ll probably resort to every trick in the book, but Cashe will too!”
Bama: “Watch out Boots - Cashe bites!"
Vinnie Lane: "He’ll even tell you himself!”
Boots Lichter attempts to put Cashe in a headlock, but Cashe breaks out by biting the Pennsylvania Native’s hand! Cashe is quick to get back to his feet and regain the upper hand by repaying the earlier favor, by putting Boots Lichter in a headlock of his own! He even goes far enough to give the former politician a noogie!
Vinnie Lane: "What did we say!”
Bama: “Typical Jason Cashe!"
The DioGEE soon shifts position and brings Lichter down head first with a Stump Puller Piledriver! Down goes Boots and Cashe goes for the cover!
1!
2!!
Shoulder up!
Vinnie Lane: "Beautiful move, but no dice!”
Bama: “Trumpism is not dead!"
Cashe makes certain to lay down a barrage of fast stomps to Lichter’s chest! Lichter writhes in pain on the ground, and Cashe decides to back up some steps. Lichter makes it to his feet groggily, and Cashe rushes in for the U.T.I.... NO! BOOTS LICHTER WITH A COUNTER REFLEX ELBOW!
Vinnie Lane: "My God! Cashe almost had it!”
Bama: “Like I said - can’t put the MAGA movement down!"
Lichter has just bought himself enough time to regain his breath as he is now staggering, face buried in his hands. The Team MAGA member picks up Cashe and brings him down with a Powerbomb, then goes for the cover!
1!
2!!
SHOULDER UP!!!
Vinnie Lane: "Cashe just will not stay down!”
Bama: “And Boots Lichter is beside himselfl!"
Lichter gets in the referee’s face, but the official will have none of it! Lichter decides to go to the downed Cashe once more, but this time, he goes for an ankle lock! Cashe howls in pain as Lichter squeezes, but he manages to crawl all the way to the bottom rope!
Vinnie Lane: "The referee is getting on Lichter’s face, he’s gotta break the hold or he will be disqualified!”
Bama: “STOP THE STEAL!"
Vinnie Lane: "It wasn’t funny the first time, Bama.”
Lichter, very unwillingly, releases the hold, and Cashe lifts himself up with the aid of the turnbuckle. Lichter charges back at Cashe, but the DioGEE is ready, and dodges out of the way! Lichter has just clotheslined the ring post! Jason Cashe seizes the advantage, and catches Lichter from behind, lifting him up in a Windmill Backbreaker! Down goes Bartholomew Lichter once more, and Cashe, limping on one leg, decides to take to the air!
Vinnie Lane: "It looks like Boots’ ankle lock did his damage!”
Bama: “Nah, that’s just Cashe. He walks with a limp bec-”
Vinnie Lane: “Will you stop!?”
Cashe climbs to the top of the turnbuckle, and launches for an elbow drop… BUT BOOTS LICHTER ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY, AND CASHE HITS NOTHING BUT CANVAS! Lichter wants to capitalize and picks Cashe up for a piledriver! Cashe lands head first and Lichter goes for the pin!
1!
2!!
Kickout at 2.999!!!
Vinnie Lane: “What a warrior! Jason Cashe has kicked out once more!”
Bama: “Lichter needs to put him away once and for all!"
And it looks like Lichter will do just that, as he prepares to land his ultimate move. Cashe begins to stand up once more, and Lichter charges forward, ready to land his Superkick…
Vinnie Lane: "THAT’S NOT A SUPERKICK!”
Bama: “It very much looks like it is!"
… NO! JASON CASHE WITH AN INSIDE CRADLE! He rolled Boots Lichter up and has his feet on the bottom rope for additional leverage, but the ref has failed to notice!
1!
2!!
3!!!
| Winner by Pinfall - Jason Cashe |
Vinnie Lane: "Jason Cashe has picked up the win!”
Bama: “With an inside cradle!?"
Vinnie Lane: "His feet were on the bottom rope! Talk about the dirty player getting beat at his own game!”
HGH - vs - Dolly Waters |
The stadium spotlights rush up toward the ceiling and Waters appears under the XTron. She marches to the beat of Ode To Joy, the crowd roaring, her gaze set squarely on the squared circle. She climbs through the ropes and takes the center of the ring. Raising a single fist into the air.
Vinnie Lane: "Dolly Waters is coming out here to prove a point to ALIAS!"
Bama: "I think you’re right, Vinnie! Dolly Waters is tired of being looked over and looked past, and what better way to make your mark than to have a huge win in the Plump Pigeon tournament?!!"
HGH walks down the entrance ramp amidst a chorus of boos, clearly the heel in the match. He walks up the steps before slipping between the ropes and approaching his respective corner.
Vinnie Lane: "While Dolly Waters is the one scheduled to compete for the universal championship, HGH is no slouch in his own right! If he puts his head to it, he is fully capable of upsetting Dolly Waters tonight!"
Bama: "Most definitely, Vinnie! HGH already has some high-profile wins under his belt, but this one would be absolutely huge for him!"
DING! DING! DING!!!
The bell rings and we are off to the races. Dolly Waters sprints out of her corner like a blonde Usain Bolt! HGH stands his ground and eggs Dolly on as she rushes towards him. HGH prepares to tie up with Dolly, but the young Waters instead leaps off her feet and barrels her shoulder into HGH’s midsection! The two go flying through the ropes and to the outside of the ring!
Bama: "A diving spear through the ropes! Dolly Waters is starting this match off hot and ready, baby!"
Vinnie Lane: "Like a Little Caesar’s pizza!"
Dolly Waters lands on top of HGH and immediately starts pounding him in the face with a flurry of fists. HGH eats about a half dozen blows before he is able to unleash an uppercut that forces Dolly Waters off of him. Dolly and HGH both scramble to their feet. HGH takes up a defensive stance as soon as he rises, but he’s a hair too slow! The smaller, more agile Dolly got to her feet first and now she’s leaving her feet again as she jumps onto the ringside barrier, then off of it, then into HGH’s face with a single-leg dropkick! HGH flies into the steel steps as Dolly Waters crash lands onto the ringside flooring.
Vinnie Lane: "Look at Dolly Waters go!"
Bama: "This is why I’m picking Dolly to win at the Cannabis Cup, Vinnie! She’s the most athletic wrestler we have on the roster!"
Dolly Waters pops up to her feet and sees HGH rubbing his head while seated against the steel stairs. Dolly gets a big smile as big ideas fill her head. She kicks some dust off her boots before she charges right at HGH! Dolly Waters leaves her feet and goes for a diving shotgun dropkick…but HGH rolls out of the way just in time! Dolly howls out as her feet slam straight into the steps and her back slams straight to the floor. HGH rubs his head one more time before grabbing Dolly Waters, picking her up just a bit, and then Irish Whipping her right back into the steps! HGH laughs at Dolly as some of the front-row fans boo him. HGH waves away the fan’s complaints dismissively. The referee yells for HGH to get back into the ring, but he just ignores that, too.
Vinnie Lane: "HGH is turning up the heat with this crowd! But he might be forgetting about the task at hand!"
Bama: "You can’t take your eyes off Dolly for too long, she’s like a wild raccoon!”
HGH takes a few seconds to taunt the crowd before he circles back to Dolly Waters and begins laying in a few casual kicks to her back. HGH then lifts Dolly up by the hair before slamming her face onto the ringside apron, drawing even more boos from the crowd and a bit of blood from Dolly’s nose. HGH turns back to the crowd with a cocky grin. HGH begins jawing back and forth with some of the front-row fans while still holding Dolly by the hair.
Vinnie Lane: "HGH has really turned the tables here tonight! He’s taking the fight right to Dolly Waters!"
Bama: "HGH knows that a victory at this stage of the plump pigeon tournament could be absolutely massive! He will do whatever he can to walk away the winner tonight!
HGH turns back to Dolly and begins to lift her into position for a body slam. The wily Dolly, however, manages to slip over and behind HGH’s back! Waters follows up with two quick calf kicks before HGH can manage to turn around. Dolly then grabs HGH by the neck and slams him to the ground with a reverse DDT!
HGH rolls around on the floor in pain as Dolly picks herself up with the ringside apron and pulls herself up to the side of the ring. Dolly stands tall and calls for support from the crowd, which is quick to oblige her request. As the crowd chants her name, Dolly Waters quickly ascends up the turnbuckle towards the toprope.
Vinnie Lane: "Dolly Waters is heading to the top rope!"
Bama: "She better be careful up there!
Just as HGH rises back up to his feet with the help of the ringside barrier, Dolly Waters leaps off the top rope! She lands on HGH with a leaping crossbody that slams his back right into the barrier! HGH screams in pain as he and Dolly fall back to the ground.
Vinnie Lane: "Incredible cross-body from the top!"
Bama: "Dolly Waters jumps around like a damn spider monkey, Vinnie, and that’s why she’s so hard to beat!"
Dolly smile big as she kips up to her feet amidst monstrous applause. With HGH still on the ground, Dolly rolls under the bottom rope and into the ring. Not content to just sit around and wait, however, Waters charges towards the far ropes! She hits them at full speed before being flung back towards the ropes she just came from. By now HGH is once again getting to his feet, but this time Dolly Waters soars over the top rope with a suicide dive!
BUT HGH SEES IT COMING! HE CATCHES DOLLY WATERS MID-AIR BEFORE SLAMMING HER DOWN TO THE FLOOR!
Vinnie Lane: "Icarus! Icarus! Dolly was flying too close to the sun, dude!"
Bama: "What the sam hell are you talking about, Vinnie?! HGH just caught Dolly in mid-air!"
HGH gets to his hands and knees before he starts crawling over towards the ringside apron. Dolly Waters, meanwhile, is still rolling around on the ground while clutching her back in pain.
HGH pulls himself up to his feet before he stumbles over to Dolly Waters. He kicks her in the face exactly one time before lifting her up by the hair and throwing her into the ring beneath the bottom rope. HGH quickly follows, sliding right into the ring after Dolly Waters before flipping her over and hooking her leg for the pin. The referee quickly hops down to the mat and begins to count.
1!
KICKOUT!!
Vinnie Lane: "Dolly Waters won’t go down that easy, especially not when a shot at ALIAS is on the horizon!"
Bama: "HGH is going to need to do a lot more than that to keep Dolly down, baby!”
Dolly quickly lifts her shoulder, much to the chagrin of HGH. HGH hops off the ground and immediately begins screaming at the referee. He points an accusatory finger in the refs chest as he forces the referee back into a corner.
Dolly Waters shakes her head from side to side to get her bearings back. Then, she sees HGH waiting like a sitting dick in the corner, with his back turned and everything. While HGH continues to berate the hard-working ref, Dolly sneaks up on him before flipping him to the mat with a schoolboy (girl?) pin! The referee gets to the ground and eagerly starts the count!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!
Vinnie Lane: "She almost caught him right there! That’s why you shouldn’t harass my employees, dude!"
Bama: "Dolly Waters took advantage of the situation and she almost won because of it! HGH needs to focus on the task at hand if he wants to win here tonight, baby!”
HGH barely manages to kick out of the roll-up. He forces Dolly Waters off of him as he scrambles up to his feet as quickly as he can. Unfortunately for HGH, Dolly Waters is a lot faster to her feet. With some blood dripping down her nose and coating her front teeth, Dolly Waters cracks a big smile at HGH before insulting every inch of his manhood. This enrages HGH, causing him to charge straight towards Dolly Waters with a raised fist! HGH swings wildly at Dolly Waters, but she ducks under the attack!
Dolly Waters hits the ropes before bouncing back and wrapping her arm around HGH’s neck! Dolly brings him barrelling down to the mat head-first with a Springboard DDT! HGH’s face pops up from the mat and we can see that he, too, is now bloodied! HGH gets up to his knees while touching his face with his hands. He looks at the blood on his palms and screams while he rises to his feet. He turns around to get revenge on Dolly, but she kicks him in the gut instead! She follows up with a swinging neckbreaker that brings HGH back to the mat. Dolly Waters then lays over his chest and goes for the pin!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!
Bama: "She almost had him right then and there! HGH is on his last legs!"
Vinnie Lane: "Dolly Waters has all the momentum right now!"
HGH flips over onto his stomach and then tries to crawl out from beneath Dolly Waters. She’s not having any of it, however, and she expertly catches him in a Rolling Waters! HGH reaches out for the ropes, but he’s too far away to make it! HGH lashes out wildly, trying to get Dolly off, but it’s no use! A few seconds later HGH is forced to tap out!
| Winner by Submission - Dolly Waters |
The referee raises Dolly's arm as HGH writhes around in pain on the mat.
Vinnie Lane: "What a huge win for Dolly Waters in the Plump Pigeon tournament! She caught HGH in a bad spot, and she made him pay for it!"
Bama: "Dolly Waters may be young, but she is one hell of a veteran, baby! I don’t even know how ALIAS is going to handle her!”
Tommy Wish & Big Money Oswald - vs - Centurion & Lord Raab Leftovers Random Tag! The four remaining Plumpies (participants in the PP tournament, according to Sarah) must team up and defend their block's honor! TAG TEAM RULES! (1 collab RP per team) Referee: MARTY |
We open with everyone except Centurion placed inside the ring. The camera rolls around the arena and we see various fans holding up homemade signs with messages dedicated to the wrestlers. Someone in the crowd sprays a bunch of Raab’s disgusting lubricant into the air, agitating everyone in section 4F. The wrestlers in the ring, however, remain completely unaware of this development. The two teams seem to be talking shop and discussing strategy from the inside of their respective corners.
Vinnie Lane: "We were in for a heck of a treat tonight, Bama! But now with Centurion's future in doubt, Lord Raab opted to go into this match alone... he's got no chance two on one!"
Bama: "That’s right! This tag match was featuring four of the top stars on Anarchy, and I think everyone in this match might just hated their tag team partner, anyway, but it's better to have one than be alone!”
As soon as the bell rings we see arguments break out in each of the tag corners. Oswald and Tommy both think they should be the first man in the ring, while Raab stands impatiently waiting. Eventually with some prodding from the referee Tommy Wish checks in as the legal man to start the tag bout. Then, Tommy Wish charges right towards Raab's corner like a bat out of hell!
Vinnie Lane: "Tommy Wish is coming out aggressive! Let’s see if it pays off for him!"
Bama: "Tommy Wish is a THUG, Vinnie! He’s going to break every bone in Centurion’s body!!”
Raab ducks out of the corner. Raab gives him a mean scowl and Tommy returns the favor; Raab, however, is circling back around to Tommy Wish! Raab rushes up to Tommy before gripping him and tossing him overhead with a belly-to-back suplex!
Vinnie Lane: "Veteran technique by Raab, and now his one-man team is firmly in control of this match!"
Bama: "I haven’t seen Raab move that fast in months! There’s no way Tommy could have predicted that counter!”
Tommy Wish immediately pops up to his feet. Raab gets to his feet, as well. Lord Raab turns back around, even angrier than before, and throws a huge haymaker right at Tommy Wish! Tommy is able to duck it, and he quickly sprints over to the corners. Tommy comes barreling back towards Lord Raab, but Lord Raab quickly sends him to the ground with a big boot to the face! Lord Raab drops on Tommy to make the cover, and the referee quickly starts to count!
1!
KICKOUT!!
Bama: "Can’t take a THUG out that easy!”
Tommy Wish quicks out quicker than a button. He tries to haul ass back to his corner, but it’s no use! Lord Raab clubs him back down to the ground with both hands before Irish Whipping him into the far corner. Lord Raab then charges straight towards the corner, only to be met with a surprising elbow from Tommy Wish! Lord Raab stumbles backwards before Tommy kicks him in the gut and hits a snapneck DDT on him. Tommy flips Raab over to make the cover!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!
Vinnie Lane: "That DDT might have broken Raab’s neck! It looked dirty nasty!"
Bama: "Raab doesn’t need working bones in order to win this match, Vinnie He just needs his SLIME!”
Vinnie Lane: "....gross…."
Tommy slaps the mat in frustration before taking that frustration out with a couple of slaps to Raab’s face. Tommy then drags Raab up by the hair before kicking him in the gut again before he whipped Raab into the corner near Oswald. Tommy tags Ozzy in before the Big Man enters the ring. Tommy and Oswald bring Raab out of the corner and perform a double suplex on him that shakes the entire ring. Tommy slides out of the ring as Oswald hooks the leg for a cover.
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!
Vinnie Lane: "I can’t believe Raab kicked out of that double-suplex! It shook the whole ring, I could even feel it from over here at the announce table, dude!"
Bama: "Sorry Vinnie, that was me! Sassafras and I had Taco Bell for lunch!”
Oswald slams the mat in frustration before grabbing a hold of Lord Raab and lifting him into the air with both hands. Then, Oswald simply steps out from beneath Lord Raab, letting him fall to the mat with a sickening thud.
Vinnie Lane: "Impressive show of strength from Money Oswald!"
Bama: "I bet he could lift ten Lord Raabs! I mean, just look at him! He’s absolutely shredded!”
Oswald hits a huge lariat the causes Raab to do a complete 180! Raab lays still on the mat after the huge blow, and big man Ozzy quickly covers him again for a pin attempt.
1!
KICKOUT!!!
Vinnie Lane: "Just a one count! Raab isn’t even close to out, and he wants everyone to know it!"
Bama: "Lord Raab is going to do his best to win tonight, even without Centurion!”
Oswald can’t believe it was a 1 count. He screams in Lord Raab’s face before pelting him with a couple of big blows to the face. After Raab is busted open, Oswald once again attempts the pin.
1!
2!!
SHOULDER UP!!!
Tommy Wish hops back in the ring, much to the chagrin of the already furious referee.
Vinnie Lane: "Uh oh, the referee might be starting to lose control of this match…"
Bama: "The referee never had control, Vinnie! Now the wrestlers are just making that clear!”
All four men are quickly standing and taking turns teeing off on each other while the referee loses all control of this match. Oswald is trading blows with Raab, but then Raab is trading blows with Wish! The referee hops in the middle of the scrimmage to try and regain control of these three rowdy wrestlers, but it’s no use! Raab, while trying to defend himself from the sudden onslaught of haymakers and uppercuts, accidentally elbows the referee in the face! The ref catches blood and goes flowing between the ropes from the force of the blow, but Raab is so caught up in the scrimmage he doesn’t even notice! Raab is punching Oswald, Raab is punching Wish, RAAB IS PUNCHING EVERYONE!
Vinnie Lane: "The referee is down!"
Bama: "He’s down but he’s not out, Vinnie! He has a job to do, and you only hire the best around here!”
All of a sudden we see two men running down the entrance ramp with barbed-wire 2x4s.
Vinnie Lane: "Wait…is that.."
Bama: "BARNEY GREEN AND DARREN DANGEROUS, THE MOST BADASS MEN IN THE XWF!”
Barney and Darren hit the ring in a flash, and immediately begin clearing it out! Darren Dangerous sets to work on Oswald, bashing him over the back of the head with the 2x4 until he hits the mat! Barney, meanwhile, is absolutely clobbering Tommy Wish! Lord Raab takes a few steps back and starts laughing to himself!
Vinnie Lane: "This is out of control, we need the referee in there to handle things!"
Bama: "The referee can’t handle this, Vinnie! It’s a circus in there now!”
The referee rises back to their feet, only to see that the ring is a complete bloody mess! Barney and Darren are going to turn in the ring, and Raab is just sitting back laughing….until he decides to kick Wish in the gut, and powerbomb him out of the ring! The referee calls for the bell, clearly this match has gone totally off the rails!
| NO CONTEST |
Oswald grabs Tommy Wish's forearm and raises it and gesturing to the crowd, to show respect to Tommy for being his partner in crime for the match.
He looks at Tommy, smiling as Tommy tries to get his arm back in his own control, thinking Oz was going to let go after the cheers have begun to die down, except Oswald's face turns into a scowl.
"Go back to John Black where you belong, you parasite."
He then performs short lariat after lariat yanking Wish back up to his feet only to slam him back into the ground. After several consecutive lariats, he yanks Wish up onto his shoulders into a powerbomb position, and performing an earth shattering Jackknife Powerbomb.
The refs start coming out as Ozzy begins to lay fist after fist into Tommy's face, before turning Tommy onto his stomach. The security now rush into try and stop Oswald, but they end up getting tossed one by one over the top rope as Wish slowly clambers up to his hands and knees.
Seizing the opportunity, Oswald runs over and curbstomps Wish only to climb onto his back and begin locking in the Billion Dollar Dream! Choking out Wish before finally getting shocked by tazer rods by backup security, forcing him to let go of Wish in the middle of the ring, bloodied and battered as Ozzy heads up the ramp and continuing to get tazed by security to keep him away from coming back and beating Wish down some more.
FOR THE ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP Unknown Soldier - vs - "La Reina" Daniela Raye-Weathers Referee: Ari Silverstein |
Unknown Soldier prays to SATAN! in the middle of the ring while a red pentagram traces him from above in the rafters. The red disco lights tracing the pentagram around Soldier continues to encircle him constantly in a counter clockwise motion. While standing in the center of this pentagram of glowing lights, he kneels and touches both his shoulders and forehead as a sign of the Unholy trinity. In the name of the Liar, the Sinner, and the great father and lord of all that is Evil!
Soldier then douses himself from top to bottom in a tub of vaseline. He is shiny and slippery now.
Vinnie Lane: "Gotta admit… Soldier gamed the system somehow. I don’t know how he even deserves a title shot with his abysmal Anarchy record, but here he is… and he’s getting it at the expense of a brand new inexperienced champion! It isn’t fair, Bama!"
Bama: "Well ain’t you the guy that makes the matches, Vinnie?!”
Vinnie Lane: "It was supposed to be LSM! That’s right, I said it! I didn’t expect La Reina to win the title. Who could have seen what happened coming? Soldier needed a lesson taught to him and I thought La Machina would stretch him out and send him back to wherever the heck he goes on his long XWF hiatuses!"
“La Reina” comes out from the curtains with the Anarchy Championship held high. The fans show her a ton of respect as she makes her way to the ring with a wide grin on her face, though also with a trepidatious expression to her.
Daniela Raye-Weathers poses for the fans before performing some sort of ritual in her corner and handing over the Anarchy gold. Ari Silverstein holds the title up for the audience to see, then calls for the bell.
DING! DING! DING!!!
La Reina looks for openings on Soldier but every time she gets hold of him he squeaks away due to all the grease on his body. She seems grossed out.
Soldier keeps catching La Reina with stuff shots to the back and the sides of her head. He uses low leg kicks to hobble her as well, and soon he has her grounded.
Soldier pummels the champ, really grinding his shin into her throat on the mat, choking her half to death before Silverstein has to physically break them up.
Vinnie Lane: "See? This is academic crap! Without dousing himself in that goo Soldier would have already been brought down and probably tapped out! He just never lives up to his reputation!"
Bama: "What you got against the guy, Vinnie? He’s a dang XWF legend ain’t he?!”
Soldier keeps the pressure on and has La Reina on defense throughout the match, but he can’t quite ever get her shoulders down for three.
He hits a backflip drop kick, and then he heads up top and flies off with a flipping senton… but La Reina evades!
La Reina knows she has to take advantage of the opening and gives it all she’s got. She opts for impact moves that don’t require her to grab onto Soldier, and the methodology pays off as she has Soldier pinballing all over the ring.
Unknown Soldier is sent over the top to the floor after a big spinning heel kick, and La Reina heads to the top rope herself this time, and she leaps off in a moonsault!
Both competitors are sent sliding into the guard rails, and Soldier is split open on the top of his head. His hair is soon streaked with dark red blood.
Vinnie Lane: "Remember, La Reina has the advantage here… she can defend her title with a count out, but Soldier can’t win it that way!"
Bama: "You want a dang count out as a main event?!”
Vinnie Lane: "I don’t care how it ends as long as it isn’t with my belt around Soldier’s waist!"
La Reina sends Soldier crashing into the ring apron and he ends up halfway under the ring.
After struggling to pull Soldier out from under the ring, La Reina finally gets him… and she gets a fireball sent into her face for her trouble!
La Reina screams and grabs her face, which is now covered in soot.
Unknown Soldier rolls La Reina into the ring and climbs the ropes from the outside…
DARK STAR!!!
Soldier spikes La Reina with his shooting star DDT, and he hooks a leg!
1!
2!!
3!!!
| Winner and NEW Anarchy Champion - Unknown Soldier |
Vinnie Lane: "NO! NONONONONO! NOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Bama: "Christ Vinnie, chill!”
But instead Vinnie hops up from his seat and rushes the ring. He snatches the Anarchy Title as Ari Silverstein starts to hand it over, and he snatches a microphone from a ring tech nearby before wheeling on his feet and screaming.
Vinnie Lane: “You! Ari Silverstein, you didn’t see the freakin’ FIREBALL Soldier just used? You didn’t notice all the grease all over his body? He should have been DQ’ed five times already! You do all these main events and you still SUCK at them, dude! You are TOTALLY suspended!”
Ari starts sobbing and the crowd murmurs in surprise. Vinnie then turns his attention to Unknown Soldier.
Vinnie Lane: “And you… I didn’t even want you on my show! I thought I’d keep you busy with dumb opening matches and have Jon Taffer show up here and there to keep you distracted. I’M the one that had him tell you take a dive last time, dude… because I don’t want you anywhere near the main event of Anarchy! And yet here you are, despite all my intentions, and you almost just got handed the Anarchy Championship! No WAY dude! Not tonight, that’s for sure!”
The crowd is confused by Vinnie’s tirade, and Soldier just stares at him laughing. He seems to be entertained by Lane’s anger.
Vinnie Lane: “Well too bad Soldier… you might have technically won tonight, but I’m not just letting you walk out of here with this gold. Nope. I’ll make you earn it TENFOLD next Anarchy… and I’ll do it… uh… with uh… with a CHAMBER MATCH! You, La Reina, Bam Miller, Stevie McKeown, Elijah Copeland… AND MASTERMIND! You think you can prove you deserve this title, do it in the chamber in two weeks. I bet you skip town before the bell rings, just like always!”
Vinnie thumps the mic into Soldier’s chest and then leaves the ring with the Anarchy Title in his hands.
Anarchy fades from the air with everyone in silent shock.
| SPECIAL THANKS: Charlie Nickles Tommy Wish Bam Miller Raion Kido Money Oswald Jason Cashe |
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Anarchy - 06/09/22 - NorthKoreanWarCriminal - 06-13-2022
"The SotM curse strikes again! Will no one excise this demon haunting the award!"