X-treme Wrestling Federation
inVAUGHNcible - Printable Version

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inVAUGHNcible - The Blue Tango - 06-07-2022

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The scene opens inside the Broken Skulls Studio in south Texas where Stone Cold Steve Austin sits across from Calypso where another Broken Skulls Session looks to be starting.

"Hey I'm Stone Cold Steve Austin and this is Broken Skulls Sessions. About four years ago we had a feller on here and the whole thing ended with him on his back after Stone Cold had to give him a quick lesson on how to knock a sum' bitch out cold. Well, we've brought him back and this is it!"




"Calypso, how ya doin', son?"

Calypso, decked out in an AUSTIN 3:16 tee, tips his fedora back and leans into the microphone.

"Ahem. Ah—-----hem. It's great to be here, Steve. Great to be alive."

"Good to hear, kid. Good to hear. Welcome to the show and all. Now, as I mentioned in the little introduction to the show there, about four years ago, was it?"

"It was."

"Yeah! About four years ago you brought your ass on the Stone Cold Podcast and I had to sweep you out of the damn door when I left."

"L-O-L, heh, I remember. I'll have you know that I've mastered the Calypsonator since then, Steve."

"What the hell is that?"

"The Calypsonator? It's– uh– (whisper whisper…) it's a Stunner…"

"What?"

"(whisper whisper…) It's a Stunner…"

"WHAT? Speak into the damn microphone, son!"

"It's a Stunner!"

Calypso mouths the microphone and blows his own eardrums.

"Don't kiss the damn thing, Christ all mighty."

"Sorry. It's a Stunner."

"A what?"

"A Stunner."

"Now, I don't see Kevin Owens anywhere around here and I've already whooped his ass, anyway. It's a what?"

Calypso's brain freezes as fear and confusion have a head on collision between his ears. How much clearer could he be? On the verge of a mental episode he sobs:

"It's a Stone Cold Stunner, Steve…"

"Damn right it is. It's THE Stone Cold Stunner, son. And if you're gonna be using Stone Cold's finish, you better be doing it right! We've been through that already, though, so tell me, how's it working out for you?"


Calypso quickly shakes off his distress and is instantly back in the game.

"It's been *sniff* working great, Steve."

"You knocking sum' bitches out?"

"You know it."

"How many? Tell me you've been on a winning streak since the last time you were here."

Calypso stares up to the ceiling and thinks.

"I hope you're adding."

"Uhh.. Sorta."

"Adding up losses or what?"

"... Sorta…."

"Damn man, if you can't think of a single one…. So, you're telling me, that you're going around the XWF landing your… Calypsornado, or whatever the hell it is…"

"Calypsonator."

"I don't give a damn! The fact that you're running around that place and letting people walk, or God forbid leave you on your back, tells me you're either not getting the chance or still doing it wrong. What the hell, Calypso? Have you been flipping the two little birdies like a showed ya?"

"Well, no.."

"That's your problem then! Get your head out of your ass!"

"Listen, Steve, I'm a veteran of the XWF. I have more years behind me than ahead of me. You surely remember once sailing on the same boat before as I am now."

"What kind of fairy bullshit nonsense are you talking about now?"

"I'm talking about being the guy that greets the new guys. To give them a challenge right at the gate, ya know?"

"Seems like you're more of a ramp than a stepping stone or a gatekeeper there, tough guy. I'm still waiting to hear about you knocking a sum' bitch out with my move. In four years, man, what the hell?"

"I'll think of one. And it's not like that, Steve-O. My hard work, win or lose, pays off, ya know?"

"No, tell us."

"Well, heh, this week on Warfare I'm teaming up with the NEW XWF Supercontinental Champ and recently former Uni Champ, Peter Vaughn, and we're squarin' off against the Tag Champs Mark Flynn and North Korean War Criminal."

"Titles on the line, or no?"

"Big negative there. I'm not sure what Smokin' Bob was smokin' for this one, but I'll take it. As you probably already know, I'm a former Television Champion, myself."

"I didn't."

"Well, you did. We talked about it the last time you had me."

"Don't recall, son. What's your point?"

"My point being that you have four former/current champs in this match, bruh. It should be, like, super flippin' epic, bruh. I kinda can't wait, ya know?"

"Well, it definitely sounds like a good opportunity. So, you and Vaughn, any history there?"

"Nope. Never even met the guy. Same with Flynn and that criminal guy."

"You're partnering with Vaughn and you still haven't met him yet? Damn son."

"I haven't even talked with him, bruh."

"DAMN SON! Stone Cold gives you his blessing and all, but you just said you're going into a match with a stranger against the reigning XWF Tag Team Champions… That doesn't sound very promising looking at a guy that can't think of a single win he's had in the last four years."

"Maybe having a nod from Stone Cold will be the motivation I need to finally bring some justice to the Stone Cold Stunner, Steve."

"I gotta respect your optimism, kid."

"I mean, it's not like Flynn and criminal are anything to get all twisty about. Sure, they're the best tag team NOW, but, let me tell you, Steve-O… The XWF Tag Team division… It's like that Old Grey Mare…"

"........."

"She ain't what she used to be."

Calypso paused and hoped that Stone Cold would jinx him so he could say jinx but Stone Cold stayed silent.

"They're the best right now because I don't even know if there's any other tag teams around. Yeah, you have different renditions of BOB every month, but that's just because at least two of those guys have nothing better to do at the time. Why do you think that Peter Vaughn and I are in the shoes we're in? They literally have no one else, nothing else to do, except throw two random, totally awesome talents together in a shot to create something great. I have no doubt, Steve, that Vaughn and I could be just that."

"What about in singles competition? Either of these guys make an impact?"

"Vaughn, yeah. Flynn and criminal, not so much. I mean, Flynn was big, like, way back in the day. Long before I was TV Champ or even in the XWF. I think he won the X-treme Title and Tag Team Titles a few times, so, yeah, he's got it in him, I guess. As for his partner? Nah. He was making tiny waves before Flynn came back but it wasn't until then that he started really making a difference. And even now, Flynn totally has the spotlight between the two. The 'brains' of the operation, if ya know what I mean."

"One is the brain and one is the brawn."

"Ehhhhh, yeah. I guess… I mean, don't get me wrong. They're a tough duo… I'd be stupid to deny THAT, but to say that they've even really been challenged would also be dumb. It's kinda like when Corey Smith had the Supercontinental Title… Or back when the Kings had the Tag Team Titles…. or way way back when Gator had the TV Title and relinquished the thing TWICE. Ugh…"

"Why'd they relinquish their titles?"

"No competition, Steve-O. That's my guess, anyway. No one could beat, Corey. King's were basically in the same boat as Flynn and criminal only they dealt with AX3 instead of BOB. And I think Gator just got bored. Twice."

"So you think these boys might go down in the history books? Maybe as the longest reigning champs or most dominant team ever?"

"Psha. Hardly. One, they've got a long, long way to go. And two? Not if Vaughn and I can help it. I mean, like, it's non-title FOR NOW. That is, until Vaughn and I beat them on Warfare then we'd be totally granted a shot, right? We'd go ahead of BOB and any other random, thrown-together, unprepared duo. I'm a strong believer in momentum, too, Steve, and I believe that if Peter and I can pull it off on Warfare we can definitely pull it off twice."

"Momentum's a big deal, I can't piss on that. So, you're talking a lot of trash tonight, Calypso, do you really think you have what it takes here? I hate to be barking up the same tree again, but do you have the balls… HELL! Do you have the TALENT… THE RAW TALENT to back it all up? Or you just gonna leave the SC and former Uni Champ out to dry?"

"I'll be pulling my weight, Steve. No doubt about it."

"Hopefully he does the same, right? Seems like he has a lot of weight to add here. In his short time, he's already been the champ and when he lost it he just picked up another one?"

"Right, right. Correcto-mondo, bruh. Pete's been on fire since he stormed in a couple of months back. The dude's an animal and his only speed-bump was back when he lost to Alias, but everyone who's faced that guy has that in common. Aside from that? The guy came in and wiped his butt with Jim Caedus all while holding titles all over the freegin' place… People around here really throw it in his face that it doesn't matter that he's the WORLD CHAMP or whatever elsewhere, but why wouldn't it? The guy's a badass and they either just don't wanna admit it or they're jelly."

"Jelly?"

"Yeah, jelly. Like, envious."

"You trying to say, 'Jealous.'"

"Yeah, man."

"I don't have to tell you that you're a piece of work, do I? You already know it, don't ya?"

"I was thinking more like a work of art, but yeah, I smell ya."

"What?"

"I got ya. I smell ya."

"I'm not the Rock, dumbass, you don't smell anything."

"My bad. But, yeah, anyone talking trash about Peter and all his glory are really juicing up the wrong fruit, man. Just because the guy failed to be top tier doesn't mean a thing. Alias has that division blocked off completely, so there's only one dude that's actually top tier, then there's the rest of us. L-O-L. Peter's good enough to get there again, I believe, and together we'll show the world that the now Tag Team Champs are merely place holders until a couple of dudes more focused on the titles and less focused on what everyone else is doing comes around…."

"........."

"I mean, 'Us.'"

"I know what the hell you mean. Now, listen, like I said before, I have no doubts about Vaughn kicking ass in this thing… but he's gonna need you, a partner, to back his ass up. Talk all the trash you want about the current champs, Calypso, but you've got no leverage to say you've got this one in the bag…"

"Steve! Dude, if I bring it, like, my full potential… Like, even bigger than my TV Title days… I strongly believe that Peter and I are…..

INVAUGHNCIBLE.

"I like what you did there."

"Thanks! Hey, how much time do we have?"

Stone Cold looks beside him at the clock and to the watch on his wrist.

"Well, there's no way in hell that I'm sitting here with you for a full hour, Calypso. I've got way better shit to be doin'. So, uh, if you have anything you wanna add, get it out."

"There is still a lot on my mind, bruh, but I don't wanna hold you up."

"Stuff about… The Blue Tango?"

*GASP*

Calypso gasps! He settles himself in his chair and clears his breath.

"Wha-Why would I have anything to say about the B-B-Blue Tango?"

"Well, the last time you wouldn't shut up about it. I figured we'd have the same problem this time."

"No–.. Not… Nah. Not this time. Hell, Steve, you got mad the last time I talked about him."

"Did I?"

"Uhhh… Yeah, dude. That was like brought on the whole… Nevermind…"

Calypso and Stone Cold sit in an awkward silence for a moment before Calypso's senses go off. He snarls as the scent of cheap cigarette smoke tickles his nostrils.

"Is someone smoking?"

"It's probably the sound guy. You alright? It bothering ya?"

Calypso didn't remember a sound guy. He looks around for someone, anything that could be the source of this nasty invasion. The lights begin to flicker in the room and the surroundings – no – the reality around Calypso changes. With each series of flickers, he goes from the Broken Skulls Studio to a place he vaguely recognizes, but can't put his finger on it. It flashes to Stone Cold.

"What's the matter, son? You're looking a little… Blue."

Fuzz fills Calypso's ears and he starts to get dizzy. He grabs the headset around his head and clumsily flops it down in front of him…

What's happening to me? What's going on?

Calypso's thoughts raced… His mind warped…

I knew I shouldn't have eaten that sushi… I gotta quit making so much that I have left overs… They're never good anyway.

The lights and room flickered again and left Calypso sitting in a room not so different from the one he was just in… but yet… totally different. It wasn't a studio, but it had a long table with several blurry visions of people sitting all around it. He shakes and tries to clear his head… His vision slightly comes back, but that smell… The smell is stronger than ever. He smells to his right and the image he sees looks like a kid's painting on a refrigerator…

It… can't be..

"I think *cough* *wheeze* *cough* coming out of it! *Cough* *cough* The dream toxin must be wearing off!"

I know that cough…

To his left another familiar voice speaks up.

"Should we hit him again? My toxin seems to be the bomb-diggity, yeah?!"

Followed by another.

"No! Let's mess with him!"

Then another.

"I can get behind that!"

"Enough!"

The most familiar voice of them all. Calypso's already sweaty butthole puckers to the sound of it. It's even worse than he thought. He tries rubbing his eyes, but realizes that his arms as well as his legs are bound to the arms and legs of a chair. He struggles for a moment, but his little effort was almost too much for him right now.

"Let him speak."

His vision finally begins to come back and he realizes he's definitely not in Texas anymore and even worse… He's in full Blue Tango gear. He lets out a long sigh and scans the room.

To his right, his senses didn't fail him. It was none other than the Smoker!

[Image: ihylI93.png]

Smoker must be Spacey's right hand man… The last time I had an encounter with either of them, the other wasn't too far away. Man, does he stink…

To his left, in order of dialogue, is

Vain….

[Image: 420605.png]

Vain once tried recreating his own version of Mount Rushmore in upstate New York which was basically just him flexing hard carved into a mountain. For a guy all into himself, he never showed his face. Don't get me wrong, buff as hell, but I bet he's just as fugly.

The Fiddler…

[Image: 420210.png]

I never really got this guy. I think he wants to start a band with me.

Mr. Sleaze….

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Guy always looks like he just got out of the shower and his attire makes me uncomfortable. That's probably the most intimidating thing about him. A few years back he was sued by the United Sex Workers of Las Vegas and lost after he slept with every single prostitute in Las Vegas shutting the business down for three days. What a menace.

and of course….

"Kevin Spacey!"

[Image: OHDUdWp.png]

I should have known….

"I should have known! What are you up to now? Keeping all of the baby formula for yourself, I suppose? Hoarding gas, maybe? What is it this time?"

I knew I was in trouble and I could've puked. Smoker, like, chain-smoked non-stop and refused to blow the smoke anywhere BUT my direction. My emphasis behind my coughs must not have been clear enough.

"Welcome, Tango…. To my most humble abode!"

Tango looks around and scoffs.

"Not bad. It beats the warehouse. Are you gonna tell me what this is about or what? What's the occasion…. Err.. The meaning of this?!"

Spacey just smiles and closes his eyes.

"Mmm… I love when you're so many steps behind and still think you can make demands. It makes me…. cackle. Muahahahaha!"

The rest of the legion join in on the laughter.

"Muahahaha!"

Tango can't help but to crack a smile and really struggles not to laugh, too. He can't help it. Spacey stops his cackle abruptly and goes back to a cold stare across the desk towards the Blue Tango.

"You're very close, Tango… Very close. I don't care what Smoker says about you. You're sharper than he says."

"He's a *cough* hack!"

A big puff of smoke slowly creeps its way over towards Tango's head. He sees it the entire way and tries leaning away from it as the dark cloud maintains its shape and continues on a straight path towards him. He coughs as it reaches him then holds his breath. As if controlled by the creator, it stops on him causing him to shake his head back and forth and have a long coughing fit.

"Would you put that thing out? For now, at least? You're disturbing our guest."

Smoker snarls and snuffs the cigarette out in an ashtray in front of him.

"Since *cough* when have *huk* *hack!* you been so hospitable?"

Spacey rubs his chin and continues to stare into the soul of Tango, who stares back and tries not to blink, but he was never good at that. He blinks with melting eyes, but doesn't break eye contact. Spacey takes a deep breath while leaning back in his chair before exhaling through his nose over a sinister smile.

"You're good, Tango. I must give you credit. You've… (claps his hands) Got me figured out."

"I do?"

"Oh, uh-hum-hum."

I hate that half laugh, half uh-huh he does. It's creepy.

"The baby formula. The gasoline. Do you know what they have in common?"

Tango's eyes narrow and he bites his bottom lip.

"They're both, like AHEM-HEM-HEM… In demand?"

His voice was extra raspy there. Kevin Spacey rolls his eyes.

"Well, yeah! Come on, Tango. Think."

"I don't know, tell me."

"I'm not just going to tell you."

"But I don't know. So, if you don't tell me, I'll never know."

"I want you to figure it out, Tango. That's the point of our…. game."

"THIS ISN'T A GAME, SPACEY! Lives are at stake here! Baby lives!"

"Yes, but do you know who else's life is at stake?"

Tango's eyes narrow.

"Who's?!"

Spacey smiles and picks up a remote control that's been sitting on the desk the entire time. He hits a button and a large TV lowers down from the ceiling. Spacey clicks another button and the TV flicks on. Tango, confused, looks back to Spacey.

"Is that…. Earth?"

"*HAK* *COUGH* *WHEEEEEEZE* NO… *cough* *cough* It's frickin' Pluto!"

Tango, more confused, narrows his eyes more than looks back to Spacey.

"Baby formula? Pluto? This isn't adding up, Spacey!"

"It's NOT Pluto! It's EARTH!"

Spacey gives a death glare to the Smoker who rolls his eyes and holds an unlit cigarette in his mouth in anticipation of the meeting being adjourned so he can light up again.

"I don't understand."

"Earth is dying, you fool! The baby formula, mixed with Old Spice, creates the cleanest burning energy in the known universe…

"Old Spice? I didn't notice a shortage of that."

"No one did!"

"No kidding, that stuff sucks. Gives me a rash every time."

Did I say that out loud?

All gathered around stare at him for a few awkward seconds before Tango finds himself and speaks again.

"You don't come across as the type of guy to Go Green, Spacey."

"That's because it wasn't his idea… It was mine."

A voice from behind the Blue Tango speaks up. Footsteps clap across the floor and grow louder as they come closer. Behind him emerges a woman whose skin was green from head to toe… Another familiar face for the Blue Tango.

"Toxicity? What gives? I thought we were cool?!"

Toxicity laughs and heads to the end of the table. Spacey gets up out of his chair, pulls his jacket in front of him, and takes a step aside. The green lady slides into the chair and leans forward with a smile.

[Image: DWi7f5Q.png]

"Hello, Tango."

Tango says nothing, but feels super surprised and betrayed. Toxicity and the Blue Tango once took down a Legion of Lumberjacks that invaded the woods out back of her house and sent them packing back to whatever silly bar they emerged from. Like he said, he thought they were cool.

"What's going on, Toxicity? Do you even know the repercussions of your actions right now? And working with these dirtbags to boot?! You're better than this!"

"You really never got it, did you, Tango? tsk tsk tsk… All of this time… *sigh*.... Sometimes, the greater good doesn't always look so good, until someone shows you how good it can be."

"You're killing babies, for God's sake, Toxicity! What good can you get from that?!"

"We'll make more babies… But we can't make another home, can we? Don't you see it? We're killing her, Tango! What's the point of all these… BABIES if there's nowhere for them to live?!"

"You can't play God, Toxicity! It's not up to you who lives or dies. There's gotta be another way! There's gotta be more time!"

"We're out of time! THIS is the solution, don't you see? Don't you see?! I'm ashamed to have let this all go on as long as it has. It may already be too late… The damage is already done, but some of it may be reversible… If we act now!"

"Why did you bring me here? What does this have to do with me?!"

"Hee hee. I can say that we brought you here… for two different reasons. Two different outcomes, I suppose…"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, Mr. Spacey here, heh, as well as the other gentlemen around this table… just wanted to remove you from the equation all together."

Tango gets a puzzled look on his face.

"Ya know. Take care of you. Take you out."

The puzzled face becomes more puzzled.

"Kill you."

"KILL ME?! Please don't kill me! Please don't kill me!"

"Stop."

"Please don't kill me!"

"Shut up! Stop."

"Please don't! I'm sorry! I don't even want to be here!"

"SHUT UP!!"

"BLUE TANGO! BLUE TANGO!!"

"SHUT! UP!"

Tango stops and bites his lip.

"We're not going to kill you."

*PHEW!*

"PHEW!"

PHEW!

"I want you to join us."

"Join *sniff* you?"

"That's right. You've been a thorn in the side to these men, a pain in the ass, for a long time. It took a lot for me to convince them that having you on our side would do any good at all. But we figured you could at the very least serve drinks right?"

*SNIFF*

Tango looks down, then up, he blinks his vision back then reads the room. Toxicity sits all pretty in the seat furthest away from him where Spacey was sitting. Spacey stands beside her looking at him with that blank stare that says a million things all at once. Smoker doesn't seem to care about anything but the cigarette he's been juggling around for the last several minutes. Mr. Sleaze and Vain are also watching butterflies. Toxicity sighs and looks back at Tango.

"So, what do you say?"

*SNIFF*

Tango stares at the ground for a few seconds as if he's thinking it over… He slowly looks up and narrows his eyes at Toxicity.

"I'd rather die than work with ya'll. I'm not killing the babies!"

"Ugh. We're not– Ya know what? Fine."

Toxicity slaps the desk and stands up.

"No-no-no-no-no-no, wait!"

*sigh* "What?!"

*DING DONG*

Everyone perks up from the table and looks around for the source of the loud echoing bell that sounded through the room.

"What the *cough* was that?!"

"The doorbell you idiot."

"Right, so, Mr. Sleaze? Take Blue Tango into the cellar and chain him up."

*DING DONG*

"We'll deal with him later."

*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*

"With pleasure."

"I'm going to save the world, Tango, and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

"Not if I can help it."

Mr. Sleaze slithers over to Tango and throws a gag around him, tilts his chair, and starts dragging him away. Before he leaves the room, however, the person ringing the doorbell and banging on the door emerges.

[Image: Gh3sXEX.png]

"Did someone order a…. Pizza?"

"KGHE KGHEE!!!"

That's right. It was none other than the Blue Tango's sidekick, Keke, posing as a pizza delivery boy! He opens up the pizza box and tosses a slice at Kevin Spacey! Spacey screams in pain as the piping hot slice sticks to his face! The bubbling hot extra cheese stretches down away from his him, but won't let go and it singes and incapacitates him! Keke throws two slices on the ground causing Vain to slip on them as soon as he gets up from his chair! He flies into the air and comes crashing down on the desk shattering it! Fiddler takes one to the fiddle, taking him out as well! Toxicity dodged a slice thrown and managed to kick on back hitting Keke in the face!

"KGHEEEE KGHEEEE MNOOOOOOO!!!"

Keke staggers back for just enough time for Toxicity to make her quick escape. Meanwhile, Mr. Sleaze is still trying to drag Blue Tango off in his chair. Keke looks inside his pizza box and sees that he's fresh out of slices. He drops the box on the ground and races across the room.

"We're all out of pizza… but how about some… Chop suey



Keke moves to a crane stance down to a Sumo stance then to a ready stance then motions for Mr. Sleaze to…. bring it!

Mr. Sleaze sets the chair down from its leaning/dragging position and runs over to Keke who blocks a running forearm smash. Mr. Sleaze turns around and swings again, but Keke releases a foot attack, a kick, into his sternum sending him stumbling back several feet. Keke repositions himself readies for another attack, well ahead of Mr. Sleazes next attempt. He runs after Keke again with a loud roar and misses a lethal double axe handle slam! Keke repositions. Then repositions again and "Hi-ya's" a straight punch into the back of Mr. Sleaze sending him falling forward onto his hands in knees!

Meanwhile, Blue Tango has managed to work a single hand free from the binds that bound him tightly to the chair, which made the ones on his other hand and feet easy to dismantle! He leaps into action, as if his sidekick needed any help, and grabs a vase from a mantle. He rushes over and before Mr. Sleaze can regain his composure, Blue Tango smashes it over his head! Mr. Sleaze collapses to the ground and lies motionless. Tango hunches over and huffs and puffs his breaths, giving Keke a thumbs up and a toothy smile.

"Dude, I totally had him."

"What?"

"I had him. You totally stole my thunder, A-GAIN."

"What? No, I didn't."

"You totally did."

"Whatever. Which way did Toxicity go?"

"Uhhhh.. That way."

Keke points towards the EXIT that he ENTERED from.

"Darn. Got away."

At their feet a pool of blood begins to form around their feet, coming from the head of Mr.s Sleaze.

"Oh shit, dude."

"What? Oh… OH NO!"

"Yeah, dude. You hit him pretty hard."

Tango leans over and shakes Mr. Sleaze a couple of times.

"Hey…. HEY! YOU OKAY?!"

Tango looks up to Keke with bright, shiny eyes.

"Uhhmmm…"

"Dude we better get outta here."

"Yeah."

The two men quickly make their way towards the exit and get the hell out of dodge.



I just gotta say that I'm super stoked about this match. Smokin' Bob, or whoever, was a freegin' genius when they came up with this match up! Mark Flynn and that Korean fella never would've seen this coming, yeah? Gotta love those surprises. Sneaky, sneaky surprises. What do you think Peter Vaughn would call this one? Pocket Ace, maybe? Oh yeah. I like that. I'm Vaughn's pocket Ace in a poker game that's handed him a crappy deck. Bruh doesn't even know what kind of good hands he's in. Ya know, it's ya boi, the former XWF Television Champion slash seven! Count 'em out! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven! Seven-time XWF Federweight Champion!

Not to take any heat away from Flynn or criminal or anything. They're hot, too. Once they started teaming up out of the blue it just seemed natural for them from the start. So, why not go for the big gold, right? It sure beat the broken record that was BOB, yeah? That's kind of how I'm looking at me and Peter here. Ya know? He's around, doing his thang… Not really pushing too many fellows around… Then I swoop on in and give the guy freegin' wings, right? Between the two of us we have, like, so many titles and gold and awards that just overshadow what these two other pokes got going on… I mean, yeah there's a lot of gold there… but 99.9% of it was Flynn's, right? At least Peter and I can bring some accolades for everybody!

Man, don't let me drift off topic like that. Who cares about all the things we've done in the past and what we have aside from what's on the table here. I DID beat Ghost Tank back in 2014 in my totally awesome debut, but that's irrelevant right now. I mean, sure Flynn's been world renowned and it took a Thad Duke temper tantrum to summon him back into the XWF after, wut, ten years or something? That's crazy. I didn't think Duke had that kind of power kicking stones, but I've been wrong before. Flynn came back then and everyone took a step back thinking this guy was going to start zipping through us like some shitty commercials, but he just kinda floats along, doesn't he? I've watched, we all have, the Tag Team Division prosper for probably a total of two months out of the last ten years this place has been running because it's like every 5 to 8 months the team that currently holds the titles gets tired of facing the same teams and eventually implodes or an actual better team emerges and takes them out. But the lead up to that has to be a strenuous one… I'm sure I'm sounding like a broken record or something right, dudes? I'm sure every crappy opponent ya'll have faced so far has been like, "Those last guys sucked! They weren't as good as us!" Well, for once, someone is actually telling you the truth. Screw the last guys, whoever they were, because they DO suck. But for once, really think about that. Think six months from now when you two are fighting BOB Galaxy S21 and Bobby Bourbon is teaming with Robot Chris Page. Do you really want to be around for that? Flynn, my man, you were around a long time ago and I'm sure you've seen some stuff… But dude… I see how mind blown you are on the daily about what everyone else is up to around here. Alias splitting dimensions and traveling in the future while Corey follows on his coat tails to do the same thing, but different. I can tell it's driving you mad, and it has nothing to do with that crazy lunatic with the language barrier you've chosen to become life partners with. You must have a lot of nerve and be a real, uh, patriot to do what you do day in and day out. Fearing for your life, living in code, and stuff. Just don't get Vinnie hurt, chill? We'z dawgs.

But anyway. I've come to the conclusion that between your hunt and all of the silly antics you get involved in with or, uh, Comrade… So, I think the best thing is to shed the things that could possibly interfere in your mission which seems of a much higher importance than showing up once or twice a month to kick the same teeth in.

Well, fear no longer, Flynn and criminal. You're relieved. You're done. Take a day off! After Peter and Calypso, a team which I have already coined "InVaughncible", have taken it upon themselves after being teamed together randomly on Warfare, to take those title belts from you and begin a new reign of awesomeness and reignite the tag team division like it's never been ignited before! We'll have to beat you twice for them, of course, because we don't mind earning our keep! We don't CARE if we have to scale the mountain. Prove ourselves. Nor do we care that there's no free tickets to the top! Former Television Champion Calypso and former Uni Champ and current Supercontinental Champion Peter Vaughn have been through the trenches, not together, and I only assume he's fought hard for what he has because I have no real proof sittin in front of me… But based off of his track record the man is a ticking time bomb. He just has to get his feet wet. He's gotta get a feel for the place. He's gotta find his groove. Then, I don't give a dang who steps up, whether it's that Alias, Bobby Bourbon and the rest of BOB, or Mark Flynn and his Korean friend! And with Calypso on his side and the mystical things that I have in store, we are, without a doubt, going to be the next two dudes in line for those straps! New champs on the horizon bay-bee!