Family First, Part I: Much to the Chagrin of Mother Hightower

Family First, Part I: Much to the Chagrin of Mother Hightower - Printable Version

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Family First, Part I: Much to the Chagrin of Mother Hightower - Lacklan - 02-11-2022

HIIIIIIII-iiiiiiiii!

This is your reason for being, the creme which makes the pat, Sarah Lacklan-

WORLD’S

GREATEST

LIFE COACH

………

……………………

…………………………………

Wait, wut? What’s that? You heard me right, Baby Birds! YOUR East-Coast-Turned-Hollywood-Girl, YOUR greatest and unending desire, YOUR conglomerate of the hopes and dreams of ALL the children, YOUR favorite XWF Anarchy, Tag Team, Leap of Faith, Royalty of the Ring (Yes, Vinnie, I just renamed it. #YourWelcome #ItsCanon), War Games Survivor/MVP AND Universal hot-damn CHAMPION has decided she’s going to change the world in a whole new way! As you all know, along with dominating the sport of wrestling, as is both my birth-and-God-given right and duty, the Mrs G-L and I have changed how everyone views philanthropy through the Grey-Lacklan Ga(y)la Foundation parties and sorties and fiestas and such. And because of that, I-

…hold on…someone’s attacking my station…

OMG you and Kenzi are STILL playing that dumb Star Travel game instead of wrestling?

We can’t all just buy ourselves to Ops 60 like you can, Sister!

Totes not my fault you iz n00b

You know very well my Beloved makes us be F2P and- ..................

GAH! Kenzi dropped tags…again…and Rialta Bombed me with all THREE Spocks? Such a BITCH!

……why am I here?

You’re HERE, dear sweet Edith, because of what I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted! Now that I have changed millions and MILLIONS of lives in the last few years due to my charitable work (#PutThePigeonWingOnCancer #ChokeOutCancerLikeIChokedOutCoreyLOL), I have decided to help my family...the people who need the BEST help! They need TOP SHELF help. They need MY help. And like with wrestling AND charity, it’s my duty and right to change my family. To make them winners beyond all thought or imagination. And that begins with someone who probs needs the MOST help-

wut

-my BABY sister Angelica!

The XWF has been gifted with the amazingness that is the Ultimate Spinster (#NoBoysAllowedApparently?), and she’s GREAT at a lot of things, but she needs a little more help. My hope, my prayer, is that, someday LONG into the future, this World Championship-winning, tournament-dominating, (heavy) kitty-petting BABY sister of mine will climb a mountain so high that it’ll take our big bro to see it. Perhaps, someday…and I know this is a BIG TIME stretch…even be able to defeat the BEST wrestler there has ever been.

Me, obvs.

I’ve totes done it, like, 20 times.

SOME. DAY. She’ll be able to beat me!

50 times, if you count the multiverse.

With my guidance, she’ll be the BEST there ever has been…and she’s just the beginning. Before you know it, the entire Family First of the XWF will be here, and THAT will be…

Vaughnemous!

……..sigh…….

N-E-Ways…I’m looking forward to Jenny playing “Wheel-O-Insult” and just talk about how big of a skank my BABY sister is without knowing a damn thing about Ms Frigid Panties!

Hey!

See you all in Maine! Literally 2 hours from our hometown!

...more like 45 minutes with the way you drive...

What was that?

Nabs!