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+--- Thread: The Commissioner's Office (/showthread.php?tid=39676)
The Commissioner's Office - "The Wolf of Afghanistan" Joshua Schuler - 02-03-2021
Are you sure those aren't Ben Wa Balls that you hear clanking together, bud?
re:The Commissioner's Office - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-03-2021
I mean...
Maybe?
Should I ask that???
re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-03-2021
(02-03-2021, 11:38 AM)Bearded War Pig Said: Are you sure those aren't Ben Wa Balls that you hear clanking together, bud?
![[Image: OeFSZwn.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/OeFSZwn.gif)
re:The Commissioner's Office - Mr. Oz - 02-03-2021
"You're the boss. She can't do anything to you. If she tries, I'll arm you with my lawyers to combat hers. The most she could try to do, is that she would end up sacrificing Taco, since she's a bloodsucking, ball washing, twatlicking thundercunt bereft of a single bone in her body labeled 'fun', or so I am led to believe simply by her actions and reactions, so I really wouldn't put it past her to harm our precious Director of Craft Services and overall Goodest of Boys.
Also Sarah, please keep writing more. I plan on breaking every fucking rule you've set in place. I'm a fuckin' literal God and a financial one at that, you knuckle dragging troglodyte. Give me 10,000 and I'll pay them off with the ease of a person plagued by Clostridium difficile. Which is pretty goddamn easy."
re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-03-2021
Do NOT get me started on Taco 😡😡😡😡
re:The Commissioner's Office - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-03-2021
YOU LEAVE TACO OUT OF THIS!!!
re:The Commissioner's Office - Taco - 02-03-2021
Onk.
re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-03-2021
(02-03-2021, 12:28 PM)"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Said: YOU LEAVE TACO OUT OF THIS!!!
HE STARTED IT AND YOU KNOW THAT
re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-03-2021
(02-03-2021, 12:29 PM)Taco Said: Onk.
![[Image: aGhf22S.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/aGhf22S.gif)
re:The Commissioner's Office - Mr. Oz - 02-03-2021
"I don't think she's mentally capable to be Commissioner. She is willing to murder a beloved member of the XWF staff after all. You sure you want her on a paycheck where she's capable of fucking with everyone's life on Anarchy? Who knows, she may just be willing to put Taco in a match on the Anarchy after this, and put him up against someone known for murdering Porcine."
re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-03-2021
(02-03-2021, 01:16 PM)Money Oswald Said: " Who knows, she may just be willing to put Taco in a match on the Anarchy after this, and put him up against someone known for murdering Porcine."
![[Image: 2XUH9eX.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/2XUH9eX.gif)
re:The Commissioner's Office - Tommy Wish - 02-03-2021
(02-03-2021, 01:16 PM)Money Oswald Said: "I don't think she's mentally capable to be Commissioner. She is willing to murder a beloved member of the XWF staff after all. You sure you want her on a paycheck where she's capable of fucking with everyone's life on Anarchy? Who knows, she may just be willing to put Taco in a match on the Anarchy after this, and put him up against someone known for murdering Porcine."
Do you know how Mister Vincent Laneford is among the Lacklan administration? He's too much invested with the same lady who left without a trace, and ever since she made her return last PPV.... he was already neck deep in her legal personnels and shit... so if you think for a second he'll listen, you be wrong my friend.
So me and you should take a stand against this so called "commish" authority and rebel from it... or be like Shawn Wylde and jump on a plane to overseas every Wednesday night to be away from her rule.
re:The Commissioner's Office - Mr. Oz - 02-03-2021
(02-03-2021, 01:47 PM)Tommy Wish Said: Do you know how Mister Vincent Laneford is among the Lacklan administration? He's too much invested with the same lady who left without a trace, and ever since she made her return last PPV.... he was already neck deep in her legal personnels and shit... so if you think for a second he'll listen, you be wrong my friend.
So me and you should take a stand against this so called "commish" authority and rebel from it... or be like Shawn Wylde and jump on a plane to overseas every Wednesday night to be away from her rule.
"Oh, I'm already rebelling. I flip around with the best cruiserweights. I cuss like a motherfuckin' sailor seeing a flash of tit after finally being on land when he's been off it for years. I use weapons all the time. I'm going to be showing up very late, maybe 2 minutes before my match is needed, so fuck the slides and being there 2 hours early. I only stay the entire show if another member of my Brotherhood is in the main event.
Ruby, you are a shitshow.
Broke another rule. If I call for one of my BOBbies to help, they're going to fucking help, and the ref won't know when it comes. The only one I'm abiding by is because I enjoy showing my dominance, is providing promos. Other than that, fuck this list, fuck you Sarah, fuck you Lane, fuck you Roxy, however Taco, you're cool.
I'm fuckin' out!"
re:The Commissioner's Office - SavannahKnightley - 02-03-2021
(02-03-2021, 02:29 PM)Money Oswald Said:(02-03-2021, 01:47 PM)Tommy Wish Said: Do you know how Mister Vincent Laneford is among the Lacklan administration? He's too much invested with the same lady who left without a trace, and ever since she made her return last PPV.... he was already neck deep in her legal personnels and shit... so if you think for a second he'll listen, you be wrong my friend.
So me and you should take a stand against this so called "commish" authority and rebel from it... or be like Shawn Wylde and jump on a plane to overseas every Wednesday night to be away from her rule.
"Oh, I'm already rebelling. I flip around with the best cruiserweights. I cuss like a motherfuckin' sailor seeing a flash of tit after finally being on land when he's been off it for years. I use weapons all the time. I'm going to be showing up very late, maybe 2 minutes before my match is needed, so fuck the slides and being there 2 hours early. I only stay the entire show if another member of my Brotherhood is in the main event.
Ruby, you are a shitshow.
Broke another rule. If I call for one of my BOBbies to help, they're going to fucking help, and the ref won't know when it comes. The only one I'm abiding by is because I enjoy showing my dominance, is providing promos. Other than that, fuck this list, fuck you Sarah, fuck you Lane, fuck you Roxy, however Taco, you're cool.
I'm fuckin' out!"
Oh my god can you shut the fuck up, I can't fucking wait to kick your ass at Anarchy, because then you will have to live with the fact that you got beaten by someone who if they were a few inches shorter would be a midget. So Osward how about this if I win at Anarchy you give me a one-on-one match against you so I can prove that the first win wasn't a fluke and if it wasn't for that money you would be nothing more than a joke.
re:The Commissioner's Office - "The Wolf of Afghanistan" Joshua Schuler - 02-03-2021
(02-03-2021, 11:58 AM)"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Said: I mean...
Maybe?
Should I ask that???
I mean if I was the owner of XWF and one of my employees was working their clam burger muscles on company time. I would want to know. I mean that would almost be like you paying me for a match but I am in the John giving my purple helmet yogurt slanging warrior a good asian rub down instead.
Pig just shrugs his shoulders and makes big excited eyes hoping Vinnie asks.
(02-03-2021, 12:17 PM)Lacklan Said:(02-03-2021, 11:38 AM)Bearded War Pig Said: Are you sure those aren't Ben Wa Balls that you hear clanking together, bud?
Pig's eyebrows scrunch as his eyes squint.
Would it help if we all removed our clothes?
re:The Commissioner's Office - Mr. Oz - 02-03-2021
(02-03-2021, 03:05 PM)SavannahKnightley Said: Oh my god can you shut the fuck up, I can't fucking wait to kick your ass at Anarchy, because then you will have to live with the fact that you got beaten by someone who if they were a few inches shorter would be a midget. So Osward how about this if I win at Anarchy you give me a one-on-one match against you so I can prove that the first win wasn't a fluke and if it wasn't for that money you would be nothing more than a joke.
"I'm sorry, who are you again?"
re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-10-2021
Hey! @"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane
It has come to my attention that we are only paying Mr. Bobo 10 cents to referee on Anarchy tomorrow. Is this true? If so, I wish to engage in a discord about altering the pay structures of our law-abiding officials.
re:The Commissioner's Office - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-10-2021
Nuh uh!
All of our officials are paid the same way. Applebee's Gift Cards.
(02-10-2021, 09:47 AM)Lacklan Said: Hey! @"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane
It has come to my attention that we are only paying Mr. Bobo 10 cents to referee on Anarchy tomorrow. Is this true? If so, I wish to engage in a discord about altering the pay structures of our law-abiding officials.
The Commissioner's Office - Dean Rose - 02-10-2021
smells like bitch in here
re:The Commissioner's Office - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-10-2021
Ever since you walked in.
re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-10-2021
......sorry, that's left over from my meeting with @Miss Fury...
re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 03-03-2022
*presses @[Ruby] button*
The Commissioner's Office - Ruby - 03-03-2022
👀💚💛
re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 03-03-2022
How many card-carrying members do you presently have in that fanclub of yours? The Rubettes, or some such?
The Commissioner's Office - Ruby - 03-03-2022
Nearly 26, bud! Getting there!
re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 03-03-2022
...nearly? That's...um...okay, let's just assume that's 25 in Candaiian. Are you okay with that 25 causing massive floods?
The Commissioner's Office - Ruby - 03-03-2022
Not quite so sure my girl, but I do know 26 is better than 25! Do you disagree?
The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 03-03-2022
That depends on how much you hate truth and honesty, I suppose. Considering this, I would imagine that you DO think 26 is better because it hastens the impending floods 🤔
re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 03-05-2022
*presses @[Vita Frickin Valenteen] button*
re:The Commissioner's Office - Vita Frickin Valenteen - 03-06-2022
(Was likely busy doing whatever it is teenage vampires do at night. Is very tardy.)
Crap!
re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 03-06-2022
OMG did you SEE all that smack Alex talked about you? Ripping out her hair and stuffing it up her nose is the ONLY suitable course of action now 👀
re:The Commissioner's Office - Vita Frickin Valenteen - 03-06-2022
This is it Vita. Time to tell her how you REALLY feel!
"No dice, Sar! I may be a vampire, I may have a totally hard-to-control bloodlust, and I may have had my hero card revoked recently, BUT the real measure of a person is how they react in the face of adversity! I will NOT betray my morals or the lessons I've learned from Ruby!"
"Not for B-Team BOB, and most certainly not for YOU!"
"BUT!! I will TOTALLY try and make her tap to the Rings!!
re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 03-06-2022
OOF. That sounds ubes ineffective. Can't mutilate a face with hopes and dreams, dearie! I'll send you some broken glass shards or dull shears, or something 🤔
re:The Commissioner's Office - Vita Frickin Valenteen - 03-07-2022
>.>
re:The Commissioner's Office - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 03-07-2022
Okay but is Chewie gonna be at ringside? Sar, press Alex's button and ask, my button thing stopped working. Pretty sure Rox took the batteries out...
re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 03-07-2022
(03-07-2022, 06:19 AM)"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Said: *admits that Rox took all the batteries so that she can press her own "button"*
Sorry, Boss! As YOUR Anarchy Commissioner, the buttons in my office only work for Anarchy competitors 🤔
re:The Commissioner's Office - Vita Frickin Valenteen - 03-07-2022
(03-07-2022, 06:19 AM)"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Said: BLAH BLAH BLAH
"Vinnie!!! Perfect timing! Um, can you maybe place an injunction or something on the commish, preventing her from trying to coerce talent into, I don't know... Maiming other talent?"
re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 03-07-2022
(03-07-2022, 08:14 AM)Vita Frickin Valenteen Said: "OMG Sar is so amazing"
First of all, obvs. Secondly, it's axly in the GM/Commissioner/INSERT AUTHORITY HERE contract that we abuse our powers as much as possible. Mind you, SOME people do so to drone on and on in talky-talky portions wherein we all just kinda skip it like a video game cutscene we've seen, like, a bajillion times (Hi, Chris!), but OTHERS actually help and push the members of their brand!
*sends envelope full of chinchilla poison*
re:The Commissioner's Office - Vita Frickin Valenteen - 03-07-2022
(03-07-2022, 09:38 AM)Lacklan Said:(03-07-2022, 08:14 AM)Vita Frickin Valenteen Said: "OMG Sar is so amazing"
Semantics and self promotion disguised as an offer to help.
*sends envelope full of chinchilla poison*
Okay, yeah, sure. I know that you're probably not going to back off if I say that I don't actually need the help, but can you at least try "helping" in a way that doesn't endanger the well-being of wrestler or cute Twitter pet!?
Also, thanks for ignoring me Vinnie! :,-(
The Commissioner's Office - Tommy Wish - 03-07-2022
T knocks on the door, and peeps the scene.
"Hey don't mind me, i was just checking on y'all.... and Vita, i know a guy who can "help" you with your problem, maybe after your done with Loverboy's Step-daughter, stop by the THUGS offices so we can discuss some bizness."
T simply hands her a card and leaves the office.