X-treme Wrestling Federation
The Commissioner's Office - Printable Version

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The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-01-2021

Sarah Lacklan, with a dress featuring ridiculously puffy sleeves and a hat covered in large feathers, sits behind a desk within a small room. Upon the desk is one of her famous notebooks, ink and feathered pen sitting next to it, and a nameplate on the front stating Anarchy Commissioner. To her left, in full view of anyone entering the room, is a large screen with the current rules for the Anarchy brand displayed:
  • No Flippy Stuff (You MAY jump off the top rope ONCE per match, but without flourish, spin, twist, or rotation)
  • No pottymouths! (aka, The Ruby Rule)
  • No Weapons/Hardcore wrestling (God loathes that garbage!)
  • Must be at Anarchy events at least two hours before opening bell (To be early is to be on time!)
  • Must stay for entire show (You can't improve without watching stars like me!)
  • Must provide ALL required promotional material (No one likes a Silent Sally!)
  • No outside interference (Win your matches clean...like when I defeated Roxy for the UGWC Global Championship!)
  • Must attend pre-show slide-show presentation (there will be a test!)
  • No making fun of Ruby (That's MY job!)

Below that is a convoluted list of weighted fines for infractions so minute and complicated that the team of XWF lawyers continually rub their collective heads in consternation.

She flashes her Billion $$$ Smile and eagerly awaits the first of what shall no doubt be many, MANY visitors from her new charges.



re:The Commissioner's Office - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-01-2021

Dang it, Sar


The Commissioner's Office - Ruby - 02-01-2021

Ruby is the first one to come in. As the #NEW and three-time, three-time, three-time Anarchy Champ that only seems right.

Ruby: β€œHey there, bud-bud! Issa so great to be seeing yousa!”

Unimpressed by the very bad Jar Jar impression, Sarah blankly stares at her. For now.

Ruby: β€œLOVE the new rule-ios! Just had ONE tiny Canadian question: what exactly qualifies as a 'jump'?”


re:The Commissioner's Office - Roxy Cotton - 02-01-2021

Sarah, you specifically told me you were going to use a different example...


re:The Commissioner's Office - Referee John X - 02-01-2021

I like this new commish! Rules matter!

Also... DAT ASS!



re:The Commissioner's Office - T.H.U.G.S - 02-01-2021

We see JB and Tommy passing by her little office, and JB peaks into the place. Then both of them look inside the room and see's the rules for her Anarchy shows, as Sarah was doing her thing in her notepad, they snicker at these "rules".

"Man, Anarchy is surrre gonna follow these rules she's enforcing. It's sure going to bring in ratings in the near future..."

"Tell me about it, it's like she thinks she Bill Watts or something like dat... I wonder why Vinnie let her roam free from her cage, I honestly thought she disappeared or something like that."

"Well, JB... when you are a white female with power and resources, damn near everyone is going kiss your ass... it comes with the territory."

Then they noticed Sarah looking at them with her eyes beaming at them.

"OH HAI LACKLAN!... CONGRATS ON YEER COMMISH BIS--"

JB hits him in the arm.

"Congrats on your commissioner role of Anarchy... I hope you do poorlyWELL in this role!"

Both men hold in their laughter as they look at her.



re:The Commissioner's Office - (Gravy_Xtreme_5000) - 02-01-2021

Fines? Can I just go ahead and request that payment information now?

Do you use cash app?



re:The Commissioner's Office - Roxy Cotton - 02-01-2021

#CoolKids use Venmo, bb.


re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-01-2021

(02-01-2021, 09:49 AM)"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Said: Dang it, Sar

You were perilously close to being handed the first fine, Bossman. Watch yourself 😑😑😑


re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-01-2021

(02-01-2021, 09:51 AM)Ruby Said: Ruby is the first one to come in. As the #NEW and three-time, three-time, three-time Anarchy Champ that only seems right.

Ruby: β€œHey there, bud-bud! Issa so great to be seeing yousa!”

Unimpressed by the very bad Jar Jar impression, Sarah blankly stares at her. For now.

Ruby: β€œLOVE the new rule-ios! Just had ONE tiny Canadian question: what exactly qualifies as a 'jump'?”

First of all, you sound drunk. Have you been drinking? And secondly, a 'jump' is any time you purposefully come off the top rope. OR TO THE OUTSIDE THAT COUNTS TOO!"


re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-01-2021

(02-01-2021, 09:59 AM)Roxy Cotton Said: Sarah, you specifically told me you were going to use a different example...

?


re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-01-2021

(02-01-2021, 09:59 AM)Referee John Bihl Said: I like this new commish! Rules matter!

Also... DAT ASS!

First of all, thank you. And second, thank you.


re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-01-2021

(02-01-2021, 10:02 AM)T.H.U.G.S Said: We see JB and Tommy passing by her little office, and JB peaks into the place. Then both of them look inside the room and see's the rules for her Anarchy shows, as Sarah was doing her thing in her notepad, they snicker at these "rules".

"Man, Anarchy is surrre gonna follow these rules she's enforcing. It's sure going to bring in ratings in the near future..."

"Tell me about it, it's like she thinks she Bill Watts or something like dat... I wonder why Vinnie let her roam free from her cage, I honestly thought she disappeared or something like that."

"Well, JB... when you are a white female with power and resources, damn near everyone is going kiss your ass... it comes with the territory."

Then they noticed Sarah looking at them with her eyes beaming at them.

"OH HAI LACKLAN!... CONGRATS ON YEER COMMISH BIS--"

JB hits him in the arm.

"Congrats on your commissioner role of Anarchy... I hope you do poorlyWELL in this role!"

Both men hold in their laughter as they look at her.

Thank you ever so much on the vote of confidence, gentlemen! And remember: Eyes on Anarchy! 😊😊


re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-01-2021

(02-01-2021, 10:15 AM)Miss Fury (Graves) Said: Fines? Can I just go ahead and request that payment information now?

Do you use cash app?

All fines will be in the form of XBux, obviously πŸ™„


re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-01-2021

(02-01-2021, 10:20 AM)Roxy Cotton Said: #CoolKids use Venmo, bb.

#CoolKids4Life


re:The Commissioner's Office - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-01-2021

You can't fine me, dude! I'm like the one person you can't!


re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-01-2021

(02-01-2021, 12:20 PM)"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Said: You can't fine me, dude! I'm like the one person you can't!

[Image: RqSs1Wi.gif]


re:The Commissioner's Office - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-01-2021

That's a bunch of BS!


re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-01-2021

(02-01-2021, 12:32 PM)"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Said: That's a bunch of BS!

*dips pen into ink*

And what, exactly, does 'BS' stand for?


re:The Commissioner's Office - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-01-2021

Bull. You know. Bull... spit.


re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-01-2021

(02-01-2021, 01:08 PM)"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Said: Bull. You know. Bull... spit.

[Image: Bwu2hfQ.gif]


re:The Commissioner's Office - Scarlet The Hunteress - 02-01-2021

MIAMI, FLORIDA
MISFITS GYMNASIUM

Scarlet the Hunteress steps foot in front of a camera.

[Image: 5211539_elizabeth-olsen-scarlet-witch-png-download.png]

"Who the heck is this chick?"

Scarlet then walks away and the camera fades out.


re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-01-2021

(02-01-2021, 03:45 PM)Scarlet The Hunteress Said: MIAMI, FLORIDA
MISFITS GYMNASIUM

Scarlet the Hunteress steps foot in front of a camera.

[Image: 5211539_elizabeth-olsen-scarlet-witch-png-download.png]

"Who the heck is this chick?"

Scarlet then walks away and the camera fades out.

[Image: zpoDswX.gif]


re:The Commissioner's Office - Mr. Oz - 02-01-2021

"Sorry but, I'm going to keep doing whatever I fucking want. Want to know one simple reason why?

BECAUSE SCREW THE RULES! I HAVE MONEY!"



re:The Commissioner's Office - SavannahKnightley - 02-02-2021

(02-01-2021, 09:32 PM)Money Oswald Said: "Sorry but, I'm going to keep doing whatever I fucking want. Want to know one simple reason why?

BECAUSE SCREW THE RULES! I HAVE MONEY!"

Too bad you don’t have the talent to go with it. Can’t wait to get the chance to shove a potato up that fat ass of yours at Anarchy, too bad the match was just one on one because then I would get the chance to prove to all the XWF how useless you really are on my own.


The Commissioner's Office - Ash Quinn - 02-02-2021

Glad to see ya back!! Hugs and air kisses


re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-02-2021

(02-01-2021, 09:32 PM)Money Oswald Said: "Sorry but, I'm going to keep doing whatever I fucking want. Want to know one simple reason why?

BECAUSE SCREW THE RULES! I HAVE MONEY!"

πŸ“


re:The Commissioner's Office - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-02-2021

Sar why is there some annoying chick named Ashley typing up invoice totals on an old school ticker tape adding machine right outside my office?


re:The Commissioner's Office - Roxy Cotton - 02-02-2021

OMG


re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-02-2021

(02-02-2021, 07:14 AM)"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Said: Sar why is there some annoying chick named Ashley typing up invoice totals on an old school ticker tape adding machine right outside my office?

First of all, Ash is NOT annoying πŸ˜’

Secondly, she is vastly over-qualified for the work (she got her degree in December!) but is helping me out until I find a suitable assistant 😊



re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-02-2021

(02-02-2021, 07:31 AM)Roxy Cotton Said: OMG

??


re:The Commissioner's Office - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-02-2021

Dude, now she's clacking an abacus REALLY loudly.


re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-02-2021

The louder you clack the abacus directly correlates to it's accuracy. Don't you want the XBux fines and rewards systems to he accurate? πŸ€”


re:The Commissioner's Office - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-02-2021

I mean, YES, obviously, but like these things are the size of billiard balls and I have to make phone calls all day!


The Commissioner's Office - Shawn Wylde - 02-02-2021

So glad I’m on warfare....


re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-02-2021

(02-02-2021, 03:45 AM)SavannahKnightley Said: Can’t wait to get the chance to shove a potato up that fat ass of yours at Anarchy,

πŸ“


re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-02-2021

(02-02-2021, 06:44 AM)Ash Quinn Said: Glad to see ya back!! Hugs and air kisses




re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-02-2021

(02-02-2021, 09:18 AM)Shawn Wylde Said: So glad I’m on warfare....




re:The Commissioner's Office - Lacklan - 02-03-2021

Sarah sighs heavily, takes off her glasses, and pinches the bridge of her nose in a vain attempt to sooth away the stress.

"...it's only Wednesday and alREADY there are eight swearing infractions. No wonder why Vinnie is crying about the volume of my abacus."


re:The Commissioner's Office - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-03-2021

It's SO LOUD! And she TRIPLE checks!