(11-18-2020, 04:36 PM)Marf Said: Marf pops up, spitting pieces of pinecones out of his mouth. Jim hasn’t gotten too far as Marf goes towards him.

Marf: Jim you dick! I used to be allergic to pinecones what the hell man!?

Jim is too busy hugging the belt to his chest and cherishing his 7th run with the title. One of the straps is flopping to the side as Marf grabs a nearby chair and cracks it across the back of Jim’s head.

Marf: Boo hoo, so I don’t know about pinecones and their storied history. I’m not a nature boy, my thing is movies. Do you like film culture, Jim? I’m a big time buff. Since you were nice enough to share your love of pinecones with me, I’ll share with you about my favorite film and the history behind it! I know the acoustics of the room are weird so listen up in here while I share!

Let me tell you all about Pinocchio. Pinocchio is a cultural icon. He is one of the most re-imagined characters in children's literature. His story has been adapted into many other media, notably the 1940 Disney film Pinocchio. Collodi often used the Italian Tuscan dialect in his book. The name Pinocchio is a combination of the Italian words pino (pine), and occhio (eye); Pino is also an abbreviation of Giuseppino, the diminutive for Giuseppe (the Italian form of Joseph); one of the men who greatly influenced Collodi in his youth was Giuseppe Aiazzi, a prominent Italian manuscript specialist who supervised Collodi at the Libreria Piatti bookshop in Florence. Geppetto, the name of Pinocchio's creator and “father,” is the diminutive for Geppo, the Tuscan pronunciation of ceppo, meaning a log, stump, block, stock or stub.

Pinocchio's characterization varies across interpretations, but several aspects are consistent across all adaptations: Pinocchio is a puppet, Pinocchio's maker is Geppetto and Pinocchio's nose grows when he lies....hey, are you paying attention down there!?

Pinocchio is known for having a short nose that becomes longer when he is under stress, especially while lying. In the original tale, Collodi describes him as a "rascal," "imp," "scapingrace," "disgrace," "ragamuffin," and "confirmed rogue," with even his father, carpenter Gepinpetto, referring to him as a "wretched boy." Upon being born, Pinocchio immediately laughs derisively in his creator's face, whereupon he steals the old man's wig. Pinocchio's bad behavior, rather than being charming or endearing, is meant to serve as a warning. Collodi originally intended the story, which was first published in 1881, to be a tragedy. It concluded with the puppet's execution. Pinocchio's enemies, the Fox and the Cat, bind his arms, pass a noose around his throat, and hang him from the branch of an oak tree.

Jim you better be listening! I respected your dumbass pinecones, it’s like your new staple nobody knew about. Anyone shopping for a bandwagon to jump on should look no further than you sir. That’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it!

Marf kicks poor Jim, who is still dazed from the cheap shot with the chair.

Marf: Pinocchio is a wooden marionette (a puppet that is manipulated with wires) and not a hand puppet (directly controlled from inside by the pupinpeteer's hand). However, the piece of wood from which he is derived is animated, and so Pinocchio moves independently. Basically good, he often gets carried away by bad company and is prone to lying. His nose will become longer and longer once he starts lying to others. Because of these characteristics, he often finds himself in trouble. Pinocchio undergoes transformations during the novel: he promises The Fairy with Turquoise Hair to become a real boy, flees with Candlewick to the Land of Toys, becomes a donkey, joins a circus, and becomes a puppet again. In the last chapter, out of the mouth of The Terrible Dogfish with Geppetto, Pinocchio finally stops being a puppet and becomes a real boy (thanks to the intervention of the Fairy in a dream). In the novel, Pinocchio is often depicted with a pointy hat, a jacket and a pair of colored, knee-length pants. In the Disney version, the appearance is different; the character is dressed in Tyrolean style, with Lederhosen and a hat with a feather.

Pinocchio's nose is his best-known characteristic. It grows in length when he tells a lie; this appears in chapter XVI. Collodi himself, in Note gaie claims how "to hide the truth of a speculum animae (mirror of (pin)the soul) face is added to the true nose another papier-mache nose." There is an inconsistency, however, because his nose grows when it is first carved by Geppetto, without Pinocchio ever lying. The nose appears only a couple of times in the story, but it reveals the Blue Fairy's power over Pinocchio when he acts disobediently. After the boy's struggling and weeping over his deformed nose, the Blue Fairy summons woodpeckers to peck it back to normal.

Some literary analysts have described Pinocchio as an epic hero. Like many Western literary heroes, such as Odysseus, Pinocchio descends into hell; he also experiences rebirth through metamorphosis, a common motif in fantasy literature. Before writing Pinocchio, Collodi wrote a number of didactic children's stories for the then-recently unified Italy, including a series about an unruly boy who undergoes humiliating experiences while traveling the country, titled Viaggio per l'Italia di Giannettino ('Little Johnny's voyage through Italy'). Throughout Pinocchio, Collodi chastises Pinocchio for his lack of moral fiber and his persistent rejection of responsibility and desire for fun.

The structure of the story of Pinocchio follows that of the folktales of peasants who venture out into the world but are naïvely unprepared for what they find, and get into ridiculous situations. At the time of the writing of the book, this was a serious problem, arising partly from the industrialization of Italy, which led to a growing need for reliable labour in the cities; the problem was exacerbated by similar, more or less simultaneous, demands for labour in the industrialization of other countries. One major effect was the emigration of much of the Italian peasantry to cities and to foreign countries such as the United States. The main imperatives demanded of Pinocchio are to work, be good, and study. And in the end Pinocchio's willingness to provide for his father and devote himself to these things transforms him into a real boy with modern comforts.

And there you have it! My favorite movie, from what I remember anyways...

...remember...pin...

Marf places a foot over the downed (and likely bored to death) Jim and raises his arms high into the air.

Marf: Now pin this son of a bitch!

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Title: Beat me with pinecones eh?
Subtitle: Don’t forget to check my signature for pins you new pinboy