**RAZZLE DAZZLE**

Jimmy is over at Thunder Knuckles's trailer in Lima Ohio. Sunlight is beaming in through the walkway, which was once a front door. The two men are watching Atara Themis’s first promo. Thunder Knuckles is sitting comfortably in his La-Z-boy chair.


Wow, Jimmy…


Jimmy is in the background breaking shit.


What’s got you so pissed?

That fucking coward ass bitch!


Jimmy grabs a dirty plate from Thunder Knuckles’s sink and throws against the trailer wall shattering the plate.


Holy fucking shit, Jimmy, calm down!

I WILL FUCKING NOT CALM DOWN!


Thunder Knuckles is in awe, he’s never seen Jimmy like this before.


I MEAN, SHIT! IS THAT ALL SHE’S GOT?

I thought it was nice.


Jimmy glares at Thunder Knuckles. Thunder Knuckles looks puzzled.


All she said was…


Thunder Knuckles begins to make the worst impression of Atara Themis, even worse than last time.


Hello, Doves. Hello, Thunder Knuckles.


Jimmy’s eyes look like they're going to pop out of his head in anger. Jimmy remains calm enough to explain to Thunder Knuckles what Atara was trying to do.


You actually said it better than her… Do you remember that behind the scenes shit that was on, you know, right before her promo?

Yeah.

ALL THAT WAS ART HOUSE, FUCK BOY, JERKOFF MATERIAL! Self-reflection, Goddamn, garbage.

Someone probably ran over her cat.


Jimmy pauses but looks at Thunder Knuckles like it was time for him to listen.


Staring into a mirror, probably name dropping in her head, while looking into the fucking thing. I know, I just fucking know she’s thinking about how James Raven said she wasn’t ready. You could see it in her face that she thinks she owes the fans an apology.

Goddamn, right, she does!


Thunder Knuckles starts to look up to apologies to god but stops because he’s not sorry. Not one bit.


Noone panders to the XWF fans around the world like ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles. She needs to apologize to them for far more than just James Raven, by the way.


Jimmy narrows his eyes at Thunder Knuckles who is smiling. Thunder Knuckles’s smile is from the fact that no one, not even Madison Dyson, has made Jimmy this upset before.


Fuck it, Thunder Knuckles. I have an idea! Let’s rock this bitches socks off!

You’re going to let me entertain?

Yep, you already kicked her ass with the facts.


Thunder Knuckles kicks the La-Z-Boy's leg recliner down and stands up straight with his chest out. Then Thunder Knuckles rubs his hands together while smiling.


Time to Razzle Dazzle’ Em!


The scene fades from Thunder Knuckles into a...

**Lion Documentary** Narrated by David Attenborough

The camera is focused on two lions walking down the desert of XWF.


This is the story of two lions seen as brothers in arms. They rule the pride in their brand. They are the brand’s protectors, a brand in crisis.


The camera switches to nomadic lions walking towards the camera, itself.


Roving bands of rival title holders, battle-hardened fighters, and ever-changing allegiances threaten to break the brand apart. Could this be the end of the Knuckles Pride?


The camera is fixed to watch the lions Thunder Knuckles and the lion Jimmy, who is grunting and roaring.


The two brothers begin to roar. This is their territory. The two leaders have ruled here for two months. On average most don’t make it this far. So they exceeded expectations. The brothers are a powerful force on the brand. Their role is to patrol the brand's territory and safeguard its title from rivals.


The camera shows the lion Thunder Knuckles pacing back and forth grunting and roaring.


The secret to the brothers' success is their unbreakable bond. They have worked side by side since the day they came into the dessert of XWF.


The camera sees the two brothers doing what lions do, brushing up against one another, generally romping about, the lion Thunder Knuckles gives the lion Jimmy a peppering with a barrage of slaps.


Thunder Knuckles is the more confident of the two.


The camera shows just the lion Thunder Knuckles now, standing in one spot sniffing the air, looking majestic as fuck.


Jimmy is less self-assured and is happy to let his brother lead.


The camera is focused on the lion Jimmy now. He is staring out into the desert waiting to alert Thunder Knuckles.


Thunder Knuckles’s roar can reach decibels of one hundred and fifteen, that’s louder than a jackhammer. They carry in the locker rooms and can sometimes be heard by early fans entering the arena. Making clear to all rivals that HE’S in charge here.


The lion Thunder Knuckles makes a loud vicious roar.


Recently, Thunder Knuckles’s roar was heard by a lion that scientists have named, Michael Graves. The two got into an altercation and neither had won the fight.


Your home screen shows the lion Thunder Knuckles fighting the lion Michael Graves.


Jimmy was more of a lover than a fighter, but when push comes to shove, Jimmy is no bitch. Jimmy once saved Thunder Knuckles from a hoard of hyenas, after all.


The video is presented to you showing a flashback of the event. Where the lion Jimmy saved the lion Thunder Knuckles from hyenas. A commercial break outro plays.





A monster truck event announcers voice blares through your television speakers.


PREPARE TO BE… ANNIHILATED!


Random power moves performed by top Savage Saturday Night wrestlers flash on the screen with heavy metal music playing in the background. The same announcer says.


This week the Television Champion takes on Atara Themis! in a BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA MICHAEL GRAVES CHALLENGE!





F*CK WARFARE! TUNE INTO SAVAGE SATURDAY NIGHT!




All across the XWF desert, the title opportunities are drying up forcing herds of rasslers to Savage. At this time of year, these rasslers are the number one prey for lions. Their arrival means more rival lions, from far and wide, will be closing in.


The camera gets a good view of the rasslers who have gathered to Savage.


At the western edge of the brother's territory. The lion Thunder Knuckles continues his boundary patrol. His battles have left him wounded and weary, but he continues on.


The camera shows the lion Thunder Knuckles walking back to his pride. He’s a little banged up after whatever trouble he had gotten himself into.





The commercial starts off with a woman smiling while walking up to a podium to make a speech. Just as she starts she looks nervous and seems to have forgotten the word.

Hi, I’m Dr. Richard M. Wright. Did you know social anxiety disorders or SAD, hinders your ability to speak in public? With this all-new drug, Quisquiliae-Disputatio, you can overcome even the toughest public speech. Don’t let SAD bring down your performance. Ask your doctor today if Quisquiliae-Disputatio is right for you.





The commercial ends with the same women walking up to the podium again. This time everything goes according to plan.


Change is in the air. Weeks have gone by and there has been no sign of the lion Thunder Knuckles. The lion Jimmy has never been away from his brother this long and begins searching for him. Listening for his familiar and distinct roar.


The camera follows the lion Jimmy for a while as he searches for the lion Thunder Knuckles.


Without his brother, the lion Jimmy seems lost. A second in command with no leader. The rest of the pride notices this and starts fragmenting off.


The camera catches two young teenage lions leaving the pride under the cover of night.


The lionesses that the lion Jimmy sent off to hunt have come back with a kill. The teenage lions are nowhere to be seen. Which isn't usual when there's food to be offered. Once they finished what they wanted to eat. The jackals moved in to feed off the rest.


The camera catches the jackals pulling the remains of a once-great meal away.


With his brother in arms gone and rivals at the doorstep. This will be a true test of the lion Jimmy’s mettle.





A beautiful woman walks into the frame in a yellow dress brightened by the fact she has a perfect white backdrop.


Want to look beautiful?


The women strike 4 more poses with different camera effects.


With the new Revlon professional makeup sprayer.





You can go from this...


The look on the woman's face was that of disgust.





To THIS!


The woman purrs the words out to make it sound better than what it really is.





No talent needed! Just spray and let Revlon fix everything that's wrong with you.


The woman blows a kiss to the camera to end the commercial.


A few more days pass and the lion Thunder Knuckles returns.


The camera has a shot of the lion Thunder Knuckles as he returns to an excited brother and grateful pride.


Upon his arrival, the rest of the lions rest assured that their pride is safe.


It’s just past dawn, the next day, now.


The cameras have noticed a small band of jackals entering the brother's territory to eat the brother's food.


While Thunder Knuckles was patrolling the other end of his and his brother's territory. The jackal heard no sound of challengers so they moved in. What the jackals weren’t aware of was the territory's prime hunting ground. For weeks the jackals were feeding off the scraps of the lion’s kills. Until one jackal became brave and started to walk up while the brothers were eating, and while the pride watched. Scientists have named this jackal, Atara Themis.


The camera gets a good look at the much smaller jackal, compared to the lion brothers, sneak right up on them unnoticed. The jackal Atara Themis tried to grab a piece of the rassler the brothers were eating from. At that moment the lion Thunder Knuckles with claws out wide swipes at the jackal barely missing. The jackal starts to scurry away but stops, not thinking the lion Thunder Knuckles would go any farther. She was wrong. The lion Thunder Knuckles barreled forward still. Once the jackal Atara Themis notices that, she makes haste, dodging left to right. The lion Thunder Knuckles is still keeping up much to her dismay. She tries to dodge again but the lion Thunder Knuckles figures out her pattern and tackles the jackal Atara Themis to the ground. Once pinned he kicks out his hind legs with claws drawn slicing the jackal Atara Themis’s belly. The poor jackal guts are now on the sand of the XWF desert. She's still alive trying to fight until the lion Thunder Knuckles swings her around and opens his mouth then clamps down on her throat. Making the jackal Atara Themis go limp and lifeless.


With his brother by his side, there's nothing that the Knuckles Pride can’t defeat.

**PREACH**

Well, Atara you thought you were pretty smart not saying anything didn't ya. Maybe your ex-boyfriend taught you something after all. I mean, You could never step to ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles in an ass-chewing contest. You’re lucky that I like you enough not to have made that the match stipulation. Speaking of which, How the fuck do you plan on beating me at the Beat the shit outta Michael Graves Challenge? I’m a fucking FIVE TIME, BACK TO BACK, Mid-Western Ohio’s hide and go seek champion! If there’s a place Michael Graves could hide. I’ll fucking find him.

I saw how much you were ducking Michael Graves. Yeah, you think ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles forgets? You know what I'm talking about… You have to remember when Michael Graves called out when you were the In The Butt Champion. I won’t fight you unless you fight FuZz first. Get the fuck out of here with that fucking nonsense.


Thunder Knuckles waves his hand with displeasure.


On a lighter note…


Thunder Knuckles smiles.


I saw Jimmy was fucking with you a bit on Twitter on my account after texting you a bunch of pictures. I know you really liked this one.





Thunder Knuckles smiles knowing he made Atara Themis look at Jimmy taking a shit giving her the finger... Again.


You know, Jimmy said he was thinking of your promo when he took it, right?


Thunder Knuckles’s smile fades.


They say heavy is the head that wears the crown. You know what? I used to think that was just an excuse. Something weak people say because they couldn’t fucking hold on to it. Now that I wear this.


Thunder Knuckles shines up this Television Title with his right hand, with a shit-eating grin on his face.


I know that shit to be fucking true. Do you think it’s easy being entertaining as fuck week in and week out? Atara, you're not cut out for this line of work. You’re a failed rassler who’s switching into the MMA world because you can’t handle it here in XWF!

You see, Atara. I’ve got a fucking strong back and strong shoulders. I’m holding a lot of mother fuckers weight up while being on fucking top. I REFUSE to let down the XWF fans around the world on Saturday night. Not like YOU have let them down, so many times, before.

This whole fucking brand is sitting on top of my shoulders and your too small and fucking fragile to carry it for too long, Atara, sorry. It’s just not going to happen. After all, Grandma Lemon Tits was right.


Thunder Knuckles points to the bottom of the screen and almost immediately Todd posts the graphic.

Grandma Lemon Tits Said:She's already run out of shit that makes her interesting considering how she's suckling at the teat of two bit comedy acts like Thunder Knuckles and Drezdin.

Thunder Knuckles grins.


Grandma Lemon Tits knew deep down in her fucking cold, black, dead, heart that one day ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles would become champion. She also knew you’d still be collecting “L’s” to guys like me. A two-bit comedy act. You were pretty fucking smart when you leeched onto Shawn, I’ll give you that, but Shawn isn’t going to be the one who steps in the fucking ring with ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles. Yet, anyway


Thunder Knuckles’s grin turns to a more somber expression.


The difference between us Atara. If it wasn’t for xbux, I’d have a “W” over Grandma Lemon Tits. Something you will NEVER be able to say with ANY shred of truth... ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles came into XWF with no background. Look at my first promos, it's proof that less is sometimes more. When your last promo dropped you proved that less is just, well, less.

You’re just not entertaining enough, Atara. You can’t even put yourself over, let alone a whole fucking brand.

Not everyone can come up with exciting one of a kind matches and succeed… I mean, facts be facts, that shit brand on Wednesday nights. They tried to mimic Savage’s model. Let’s just say it didn’t go well for your buddy, the former Hart Champion, Centurion. Who on his first fucking attempt, failed so miserably at picking the stipulation, that he lost. Chicken wire. Fuck off.


Thunder Knuckles brushes the dirt off his shoulder.


Oh, and NOW, Centurion is taking some time off to lick his wounds. All ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles has to say on that...


Thunder Knuckles pauses. He wants to make sure he gets his words just right.


It will be the same thing, I say to Atara Themis, after this match. Sayonara Fuckers!


Thunder Knuckles takes his middle finger and salutes both Centurion and Atara Themis with it. The scene fades to black for a second only to come back to Jimmy. Jimmy is standing alone looking down about to hit send on a text message. Thunder Knuckles must not know Jimmy filmed his own segment on Thunder Knuckles's promo. Jimmy calmly looks up at the camera.
























































Hello, Atara.


Jimmy says cockily as fuck with a shit-eating grin. Then Jimmy proceeds to give Atara the finger and hitting send with the other hand.