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+---- Thread: It's too late (/showthread.php?tid=37196)
It's too late - Thunder Knuckles™ - 06-09-2020
| **It's too late** |
As Jimmy pulls up to The Ministry of FUN’s compound. Jimmy received the location of the compound on his smartphone and typed it into his GPS. They see a church behind a giant wall that's almost impossible to see over.
We have to get over that wall cameraman! Thunder Knuckles is in there, I know it!
Jimmy opens his glove box and grabs out the yellow disk gloves. Once the dish gloves were removed it revealed a 9-millimeter pistol that looks to be upgraded and has a one hundred round dual drum magazine in it.
Let me back up a bit here.
Jimmy puts it in reverse to get a better line up on the gates. Once he lines himself upright, he gets out of the car and opens the trunk. Jimmy grabs a brick and shuts the trunk. Jimmy walks back up to the driver's door. The cameraman is still inside the car filming. The cameraman hasn’t noticed the brick.
You’re going to want to get out of the car.
Jimmy places the brick on the driver's seat for a moment, long enough for him to take off his shirt and tears it up a bit. Jimmy ties the steering wheel to stay straight with his shirt. Once tied Jimmy puts the car in neutral and places the brick on the gas pedal. With the remainder of his shirt, he ties it to the gear shifter. So, when Jimmy pulls, the car will be placed into drive. Jimmy pulls the gear shift torn shirt and off goes the car into the gate. It completely destroys the gate. The cameraman is in shock. Jimmy shrugs his shoulders at the cameraman.
What you don’t hang around Thunder Knuckles as long as I have and not learn a thing or two.
Once inside the compound despite the fact that Jimmy hasn’t slept well or ate in a while. He’s running faster than the cameraman can keep up. Jimmy makes it to the front of the church and the smell of lavender is heavy.
The fucking door is locked!
Jimmy tries to take his tiny frame then starts running into it with his shoulder. After a few really good times Jimmy realizes he won't be able to cave it in.
Come on cameraman lets check around back maybe there's another way in.
Jimmy takes off running but this time the cameraman was able to keep up. Jimmy is the first to find the bodies.
Oh. My. God. This can’t be happening.
Jimmy starts looking through the bodies until he finally finds Thunder Knuckles’s lifeless body. Jimmy drops to his knees and places this arm behind Thunder Knuckles's neck. Jimmy looks towards the sky and exclaims a thunderous,
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jimmy starts crying snot already flowing from his nose. Spitting uncontrollably as he tries to catch a breath between breaths while crying. The cameraman lowers his camera slowly, not believing what he’s seeing.
| **Pearly Gates** |
Thunder Knuckles still wearing his white pajamas, is dead, but doesn’t know it yet. He’s leaving his body and taking a golden escalator up to heaven to be judged at the pearly gates. Look! There's Saint Peter now.
Next.
The man in front of Thunder Knuckles steps up. He’s wearing all white pajamas too. He must have been at Bartholomew communion service, as well.
Believing in a false profit. Judgment. Hell.
The ground gives way from the man standing in front of Thunder Knuckles.
Holy! Fuck!
Next.
Thunder Knuckles doesn’t move at first until Saint Peter again says,
Next.
Hey, what’s up Paul.
Saint Peter.
Thunder Knuckles trying to play it off cool says,
Yeah, that's what I said. Well, there’s some kind of mistake because I shouldn't be dead. You see, I have a finger poke of doom match, against Michael Graves.
Believing in a false profit, smoking the devil’s lettuce, saying the Lord's name in vain-
Saint Peter looks at Thunder Knuckles scoldingly. Thunder Knuckles just shrugs.
Womanizing, Greed of xbux, sold out teammates for said xbux, the list goes on. However, there is a note here... That says before I let you into the pearly gates... You must talk to Jesus, himself, first.
Let me into Heaven!? I mean, Goddamn! You just sent that one guy to Hell because he believed in a false profit.
Turns out, you really are a profit of Jesus. I don’t know-how… But you are. Anyway just take a slight step to your right.
Thunder Knuckles takes a step to his left.
Your other left.
Thunder Knuckles points to the other side.
Yes.
Thunder Knuckles takes a step back to where he was.
A little farther.
Thunder Knuckles takes another step to his right and another golden escalator appears which takes him farther into the air.
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
Upon arriving at wherever he is in Heaven now, Thunder Knuckles sees him, JESUS! Thunder Knuckles tries to speak but in the presence of Jesus, he can't. Nothing can be uttered in the presence of Jesus, much like God.
from Daniel Smith on Vimeo. |
Jesus: Oh! Hello there, Thunder Knuckles it's me, your Lord and Savior Jesus. I know what you're thinking. Oh, shit! I’m dead! I know right! Calm down, you’re alright, I mean, you are dead. That Kool-Aid was definitely spiked with poison. Yikes! How didn’t you see that coming? For real! They kidnapped you, man.
But that's okay, Thunder Knuckles. Because it gave me a chance to have a much-needed talk, one on one, just us boys.
The match you’re having on Savage Saturday Night, run by the respectable Atticus White, actually matters. The first-ever competitive finger poke of doom match! Who wouldn’t want to see that! I’ll tell you what. I'm going to bring you back to life… If you promise not to sell out teammates anymore. It is the 13th commandment after all.
Now, before you get your panties in a bunch. You can screw yourself over but not others. Do you understand? I feel hesitation in your stream of consciousness. Ah, that's better.
That doesn’t mean change who you are. I personally like the piece of shit that you are. You might like x-bux a little too much, but hey! Just repent every once in a while, ask for forgiveness, and I’ll be here. Making sure you make it into Heaven.
I need you to go to the Main Event and get the job done. You need to remember that Michael Graves is a lot like a 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner. In terms of Michael Graves the wrestler and Michael Graves the man. Not very good at either thing but still available. Now, fuck Michael Graves up, especially good, for me.
I don’t care how you spin it, Graves. What you do with those little girls. It’s just not right.
X.W.F. Fans around the world need Thunder Knuckles now more than ever.
Reclaim your spot as the fast grossing wrestler in X.W.F. history, Thunder Knuckles! Also, If you ever get around to it. Maybe, start a casino in my name. Jehovah’s Palace. Oh! I like the sound of that.
Until next time, Thunder Knuckles. Get that money and bless you, my son.
| **Too late?** |
Jimmy is still crying. While the cameraman continues to get a good shot of the pain on Jimmy’s face.
Fucking cultist! I swear if I ever see that scumbag, Bartholomew!
Jimmy raises the gun up into the air like a bad Television show.
I’ll fucking go gangbusters on his ass.
Did you check the Pastor's office?
Jimmy looks down to see Thunder Knuckles, with dried blood around his mouth, fully alive!
Oh, my God! Thunder Knuckles! How? You were just-
Turns out, ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles is a profit of Jesus, after all.
Thunder Knuckles gets up to his feet surprisingly quick for a man who had just died.
Except I don’t have to be one of those blah, blah, blah, whiney Christan fuck boys about it. For fuck's sake, Jimmy, pull it together you got snot pouring from your nose.
Thunder Knuckles rips one of the sleeves off his white pajamas.
Clean yourself up a little bit, man.
Thunder Knuckles tosses the torn sleeve to Jimmy.
I’m so happy you're not dead!
Jimmy tries to hug Thunder Knuckles and is met with a five-finger smack across the face.
The fuck is wrong with you Jimmy?
Jimmy rubbing his face from the pain, yet smiling, trying to clean himself up.
I’m so damn happy to have you back.
Well, quit being happy. We have to find that piece of shit Bartholomew!
The two men walk into the door in which Thunder Knuckles exited in his first promo. Then they enter the following room, which leads into the Cathedral room.
Alright just out of those doors there’s a hallway.
Thunder Knuckles points to the doors.
We follow that hallway on the right to get to the Pastor’s office.
Once they exit the Cathedral room and take the right in the hallway they make it to the Pastor’s office. The door is shut and locked to the Pastor’s Office. Thunder Knuckles kicks it down with one monstrous kick. Bartholomew has his back turned towards Thunder Knuckles and Jimmy.
Knock-knock, mother fucker!
Thunder Knuckles glances back at the camera and smirks, referencing back to Grandma Lemon Tits’ knock-knock joke. Bartholomew quickly turns from a bent position with tons of money and Thunder Knuckles Television Title.
You sneaky fucking shit! You had me give away my xbux! All so you could steal my Title belt? I’ve seen some dumb shit before but-
Jimmy holds out his take no shit pistol and points it at Bartholomew's head.
I told you I'd find you! Now you're going to die!
Thunder Knuckles lowers the pistol in Jimmy’s hand by brushing it down.
I have to give you credit Bartholomew this was a pretty good con that you have going on here.
Brother Thunder Knuckles this is no con. I was paid to do a job. That job is to bring people to Christ.
So, about the prophecy… Kidnapping me…
Bartholomew pauses.
What we should be talking about brother Thunder Knuckles is forgiveness. Forgiveness. Forgiveness. Ephesians Chapter 4 verse 32-
Fuck that! The only Bible shit I know is: “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you.”
Jimmy lifts the gun back up to Bartholomew's head and pulls the trigger. Thus, blowing Bartholomew's brains on to the wall behind him, like a modern contemporary art piece.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT, JIMMY! YOU FUCKING KILLED HIM! By the way, what was that?
Pulp Fiction.
Jimmy smiles and wipes his face with a handkerchief he pulls from his back pocket.
Who gives a shit about that piece of shit.
Jimmy spits in Bartholomew’s general direction.
Don’t you have some work to do Thunder Knuckles?
Jimmy points to the camera. Thunder Knuckles looks over at the cameraman.
Well, I didn’t just shoot a man for you not to preach.
With Bartholomew's body laying in the background Thunder Knuckles begins to preach.
| **PREACH** |
Let’s start out talking about this.
Thunder Knuckles points to the bottom of the screen which allows Todd to show a quotation graphic on your screen.
Michael Graves Said:Did you suddenly decide that you actually valued your in-ring achievements? Did Robert Main find out about the deal and threaten your life? |
No, Graves. Jesus set me on a different fucking path. No! Seriously! Jesus spoke to me and wants me to kick your ass! Can you fucking believe it? He also wants me to continue being the fastest grossing rassler in XWF history! Although holding this.
Thunder Knuckles picks up his Television Title and puts it on his shoulder.
It helps me achieve that mother fucking goal.
Thunder Knuckles points down at the lower part of the screen for Todd to show the graphic.
Michael Graves Said:Tell me TK, what big lesson have you learned from all of his “teachings”, besides how to blow a fortune in a day and still be an irrelevant shit? |
Bartholomew's lessons were pretty fucking boring, huh?
Shortly after Thunder Knuckles begins preaching, Jimmy drags Bartholomew's body out of the room by Bartholomew's legs. Thunder Knuckles looks back at Jimmy and see’s he has it under control. Thunder Knuckles looks back at the camera.
‘Ol Thunder Knuckles is irrelevant? Then... Why did you try so hard to get this match with me? It seems like your looking at the wrong end of relevancy, pal. You’re going to find out just how fucking relevant I am. When I hit you with the fucking finger poke of doom. Yeah! The fucking most jaw-dropping finger poke EVER in the history of professional rassling.
Jimmy comes back into the room. He must have found the janitor’s closet because he has a mop. While Thunder Knuckles continues Jimmy starts mopping up Bartholomew's blood off the floor. Thunder Knuckles points to the bottom of the screen for the graphic to show up.
Michael Graves Said:But Micheal, he's the TV champion. He's proven that he's competent in the ring. No, you've proven to be just another easy road . Tell me, how'd you win that belt? Don't bother, I've already watched the tape, and while I gather that this Noah Jackson was talented enough to make FuZz relevant, the fact remains that had Cataclysm not stomped his fucking soul out of his body 20 minutes prior, you'd have never stood a fuckin chance! The worthless fucks you've defended that thing against just go to really drive the point home! |
Thunder Knuckles smiles.
Since when has the easy road ever been shit on, really? That's what you “Think” you're doing right now. Robert “The Omega” Main and Chronic Chris Page did do a number to Noah Jackson. They also did a number on you, too at War Games. Which reminds me. In your first promo, you played this.
Thunder Knuckles gives the middle finger which indicates Todd to roll the same footage as Micheal Graves did.
| THUNDER KNUCKLES HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY HANARI CARNES |
Which means you think that bothers me. HA! The only thing ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles was concerned about at the War Games Pay Per View was getting the win for team Robert Main. Now, I must admit it seems like Hanari Carnes deserves a shot at MY championship. Not you. So, next Savage after I kick your fucking teeth out, Graves. Let it be known that ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles will give Hanari Carnes a shot at the Television Title.
Jimmy is finished mopping now and has turned his attention to cleaning Bartholomew's blood and brains off the walls. Thunder Knuckles notices this and turns toward Jimmy.
You better be using bleach.
I am. Finish your promo, Thunder Knuckles.
Thunder Knuckles looks back at the camera.
Where was I? Fuck it, who cares?
Todd does his job when Thunder Knuckles points down to the lower section of the screen. Jimmy is putting the final touches on covering up Bartholomew's murder.
Michael Graves Said:Half the fuckers you've actually managed to beat aren't even around anymore, and that numbers like 3 by the way. Your biggest achievement outside of Cataclysms sloppy seconds was a win over a Blackwater or their space daddy, same difference anyway so we'll call it a tie for shit's place! And in the ring TK, that's where you place, just above shit's place, but well below Peter Gilmour. However, that's not to say that you are completely without value. You do possess certain talents that B.O.B. could be interested in, but first, we need to discuss something. |
This again. Jesus fucking Christ, Graves. One of those fuckers was your tag partners and a member of B.O.B.! As for the win I have over the human satellite dish. I did that in one promo imagine if I would have got off two. Then you go on to try and recruit me for B.O.B., What? Do you need star power? Shit, after Savage we can figure that shit out but don’t hold your fucking breath.
All finished up here Thunder Knuckles. Let’s go see if my car is driveable.
Thunder Knuckles looks back at Jimmy.
Driveable?
Yeah, I kinda ran it through the gate to get in.
Look at you! Like a complete badass, huh?
Jimmy smiles because he just got a compliment from Thunder Knuckles.
Yeah, I guess so.
The scene fades to black on this touching moment.