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Facing My Demons - Printable Version

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Facing My Demons - Chris Chaos - 05-28-2020

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I pulled my black Ram 2500 rolled to a stop at the edge of the forest. The Florida plates, reading CHAOS in those famous lime green letters, illuminated under the street lamp near the parking spot. It was the last light I will see for some time. I cut the engine, and opened the door. A foot exited, then two. The door shut hard. I sighed.

"They're setting you up".

They aren't. They need me, and in a weird way, I need them. This is the first time I've actually felt needed in a while.

Pathetic, I know.

Pressing the lock button on my keys, the truck beeped and the lights flashed, then everything went still. Dark.

I found it weird that Centurion wanted to meet here. Meet me in a place where cell service was limited and human contact was almost non-existent. And he had Tula with him. He must trust me somewhat.

"Nobody will hear her scream in there."

Stop! This is the only family I have right now. After what Jenny said in her last promo, hell........she's all but dead to me. I still love her, but can I really trust her again?

I took another step towards the forest, the leaves and pebbles crunching beneath my boots.

I was ten yards from the tree line. God knows what awaited me in there.

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Everything shook. My world was spinning. I knew it was only a matter of time before I could not control him.

NO!

I would beat him back if I had to. I was not going to harm them.

"They're setting you up", I heard my voice say outloud as I moved through the tree line. My voice, my vocal chords, but not me.

As I walked, crunching as I went and making no attempt to be stealthy, I knew thought about everything that has transpired in my career. I thought about my first match ever, and the jitters I felt. I thought about how XWF was my second chance and it meant so much to me that I was given the opportunity. They meant so much, held near and dear to my heart. I stepped into that ring against Shaun Crowe. Hell, I remember it like it was yesterday. August 3rd, 2016. I won that match.

"Your grandmother could have won that match!"

I kept walking. Not knowing where I was going, but letting my body take me.

Before I knew it, I was 6-2-2, and I was really getting into my groove. The jitters were gone.

Then I had the biggest opportunity if my life. My idol, a man I looked up to, a man who was just as creepy as he was talented.

Doctor Louis D'Ville. God, that name still gives me goosebumps.

Beat him, I had a chance to be in the Universal Title match at Wild Card Weekend. Beat him and the one thing, the only thing, that had alluded me my entire career would be within striking distance. Problem was.......very few people beat the Doctor.

I did it. I beat him. I went on to win 7 more matches, and if I lost, that person got my ticket to glory. I entered the XWF's first ever Elimination Chamber and I won........I did it.

"Oh shut up. That was 4 years ago! You're washed up. You're broken, beaten, worn-out."

Before I knew it, I was 26-6, the Universal Champion and the world was crushed to ash beneath my palm.

I continued to walk, and I felt as if a thousand eyes were searing into me, eating away at my soul like vulchers on a corpse.

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That name........

R-E-N-O.

That is where it all came apart. Crazy how a name, one name can define an entire career........One name can haunt you 4 years later......

It's time to face those demons. I am finally ready.

"They don't care about you. They never have. They didn't expect you to beat Doc. When you did, they scrambled, they had to change their plans. They thought you'd be squashed, be out of their hair. Why do you think each match after, your shot was on the line?"

They were testing me, making sure I was worthy.

"No, they were hoping you'd stumble. Like you do with everything else. You're schooling, your football scholarship, your fiance, PWR........"

No....

"Yes....they were hoping you'd flounder and they could get things back on schedule."

I was almost to where I needed to go, I could faintly hear a man and women's voice in the distance.

"All they've ever liked is when you make moments. Sell tickets. It's time that you rise up and do something for you, stop doing everything for them......."

I kept walking, until I was close enough to hear what they were saying.

Tula: I just think this is a pipe dream. The best case scenario is that he shows up, but even if that happens, there’s no guarantee he won’t immediately try to put the boots to you.

Centurion: If that happens, don’t get involved.

Tula: Wasn’t planning on it.

It took everything in me to hold him back. I felt myself sweating, even though it wasn't all that hot this evening. My palms were wet. How sad was it that this forest meeting with two people who would rather stick a fork in their eyes than interact with me was the biggest moment I've had in years? Why was I so nervous about this?

"You fucking pussy. I packed something for you........."

My hand reached down into my boot, but I wasn't controlling it. I pulled out a knife, flicked it open with a gasp.

"Kill them both."

Absolutely not.

"I" put the blade into my palm, and closed it into a fist.

"Kill them before they kill you."

Damnit why do you think EVERYONE is out to get me?

"BECAUSE THEY ARE!"

I closed my fist tighter. My career flashed before my eyes. The rollercoaster high's and low's. What I have become.

WHO I have become.

Tula: You’re a crazy person. We shouldn’t have come here. There’s snakes and coyotes in these woods. I know you want to win War Games, but I want to make it there first.

Centurion: If you’re scared, you can leave.

Tula: I’m not scared. I’m practical. We’re sitting here waiting for a man who may want you dead. One of my previous jobs was dodging bullets, and we learned a thing called “mitigating risks”. Step one – you don’t just sit in the middle of the fucking woods waiting for something to kill you.

You're nobody until somebody kills you.


My problem? I died long ago. I died in the center of that ring, in April 2017. I haven't been me since....It's time I fight these demons, it's time I rise up, it's time I start being me and stop being what I want me to be.

My lips moved. My hand was tightly squeezing the blade. Blood ran out from between my fingers.

My lips moved, for the first time I was in control. HE spoke, but they were my words.

"The lady’s right"

(Tula and Centurion quickly turn their heads towards the sound of the mysterious voice. A figure walks through the woods, but is barely seen – only a black silhouette and the sound of crunching leaves and sticks gives away the position of the person. After a few seconds though, the figure comes closer, until they step into the clearing. It’s Chris Chaos, the man they have been waiting for.)

"You shouldn’t have come here."

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"Some may call it bad luck, others may call it opportunity. Some may want to complain about their situation, some use it as motivation. Some may see it as a second chance. Or a third. Or a fourth. I see it as just another match where Chris Chaos gets screwed. Another match where Chris Chaos does everything in his power but someone else costs him the victory. Welcome to my life. Screw job after screw job, yet you all wanna point fingers and say I don't have it anymore? I can count on my fingers the number of people who have beaten me cleanly, in FOUR YEARS, without some shenanigans getting in the way. From match interference's to impossible situations to backstage politics. It really takes a toll on someone when something they love is ripped from them time and time again.

I said it before, and I assure you I'll say it again. Taking pot shots at me has become the trendy thing to do. Highlighting my failures has become the new social norm. So much so that even alsorans like Doug Whitford join in on the fun. I have more shower time than these guys do ring time, yet I hear my name out of the mouths of people who couldn't do my laundry. My teammate Centurion pointed out that I hang onto this "All Time Top 50" like its going out of style, but do you blame me? If I do it its wrong and its stupid, but guys like Centurion and Robert Main toss their accomplishments around like batting practice baseballs and their heralded for it. Looked at like hero's and martyrs. I'm over it. Its a defense mechanism for them now. It's all they have on me. I could forgive it all, I really could......but then you've got the champion joining in on the fun. Shawn Warstein. That made me shake my head and facepalm. Shawn Warstein is supposed to be our champion. He is supposed to lead us into battle. He is supposed to be the rock, the glue that holds us together. Funny how Shawn spews verbal cock cheese and you eat it all up like a 5 star meal. What has XWF become?

Oh, I know, I've heard this song and dance before. "When Chaos was champion, the competition was weak. When Chaos was champion, it was one of our worse era's. When Chaos was champion........". Total cop out. The Universal Champion is supposed to be unflappable. The Universal Champion is supposed to be spot on. Every word out of his mouth has to hit home and in the ring he has to dominate. Shawn does neither. He's been quiet lately. Funny how he only talks when he thinks he has something important to say. The Universal Champion is supposed to have the first and the last word. BUT....above all else.....The Universal Champion is supposed to do a little homework for god sakes.


The Universally Universal Champion of Male on Male Assplay Said:"You came in at a time when there wasn’t really any talent to speak of, ohh I know you’re going to take that as a slight to the people you beat but guess what? I don’t care who they were, none of them were me. Doc, Engy OG, Pre-Cataclysm Main, none of that matters. Just know that the second your captain and I showed up you and the rest of them were regulated to nothings."

A time of no talent, yet you just mentioned 3 men who would turn your insides out, feed you your own guts, then turn you back rightside, laughing as you shit out your own guts. Doc would rip your eyeballs out and skull fuck you. Engy, OG or not, was one of the best competitors this company has ever seen. You knew that, that's why you attacked him from behind. Robert Main is a legend, trust me, I would know. If you wanted to attack some of my wins, even some of my title defenses, you could have pointed out Gilmour, Dolly Waters, Graves when he was doing that Ross from Friends look, Snow, Drezdin, Promo Sins. No....you named the three biggest icons in this sport, three reasons this company stayed afloat, and prefaced it with term "no talent." Are you fucking kidding me? That's like me omitting everything you've done as Fuzz and saying "You have beaten Griffin MacAlister, Hanari Carnes, and Calvary. You are the champion in an era with no talent."

Oh wait.....that's exactly what you are.

What's so great about right now? Who do we have now that we didn't have then that really makes that much of a difference? Bourbon is here. Main is here. Engy was here until recently. Graves is here. Shane, Gilmour. Night in and night out, the talent is a steep drop off after that. Shit, even the mid carders in 2016 were putting out stellar performances. Sure, Centurion is back, Page has returned to play ventriloquist dummy for Robert Main, and you're here. But you don't cut the mustard as the prime reason XWF is "better" now. Guys like Doc, Engy and Main shaped this place. And guess what......

I faced them all in their prime. At the peak of their abilities. You "beat" Engy when he was on his way out the door. I beat Doc when nobody on this planet was beating or could beat Doc. I have one in the chamber at all times. Like it or hate it, I AM Top 50 and that's not going away. My win total is double my loss total and I did it against guys like Soldier, Trax, Caedus, Raven. For you to claim that I was the champion in an era where the talent was not night in and night out A plus, top tier, is ignorant and shows you know nothing about the sport you currently lead.

"I don’t care who they were, none of them were me."

All of them would beat you to within an inch of your life. Not only would you not be champion right now, you wouldn't even be in the discussion. So put a little fucking respect on my name, champ, and stop hiding behind your own insecurities to make yourself feel bigger.

Guys like Doug Whitford and Big D, they would be opening match talent back then. Shit, their opening match talent now. Problem is, our definition of "opening match talent" now is red-x and Boris. Big D would be lucky to make a card in 2016, and Doug Whitford wants call me the "most embarrassing champion in the history of the XWF". Big words from such a little man. Doug is a pee on, a nobody, and has to validate himself by taking shots as men above his pay grade. You couldn't even show your face, had to come in as a mystery competitor, because, like Big D, you knew you wouldn't have gotten drafted otherwise. ANNNNNND, if nothing else, at least get together and coordinate with your team captain. Fuzz seems to think he is the kings of kings, like he sits atop the throne of the Roman Empire with golden rivers flowing below him........

Warstein's Wet Dream Said:I’m sick of this fucking game, much like I’m sick of Centurion pulling the wool over the eyes of the dull-witted, talent-less clowns that make up 90% of the XWF roster.

You two can't agree on Warstein being the king of a shit roster, yet you think you two are going to come together to ride that white horse over the horizon? Maybe if Warstein wasn't such a self righteous douche his own team would want to communicate with him...ya know, at least make sure your stories match.

You're sick of this, Doug? You've been here for 5 minutes. I am the one who is sick of it. Sick of the lies, sick of the games, sick of the politics, sick of getting no respect when I bust my ass harder than anyone else here. Sick of men who wear masks and pretend they're a superhero, claiming "I've never lost a War Games", then no show the biggest event of the year but still get any match they want. Still get bent over backwards for and their ass kissed when they're about as reliable as your local cable company. Sick of the staff, sick of the dumpster contents that get more respect here than me. Since I have been back I have been doing everything in my power to show the XWF Universe that I am still a force to be reckoned with. Instead I'm met with matches against Main, Bourbon, I'm teamed with Hanari for no good goddamn reason, and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the X-Treme champion facing nobody and sick of the Universal Champion facing Calvary and boasting about being the best. I am sick of it all.

I don't care anymore. This isn't me stomping my feet and demanding a title shot, because I know that'll never happen. (By the way Knuckles, you may have held the title longer than Hanari but you have a long way to go until you even sniff my reign....but keep patting yourself on the back there big guy). This is me saying I'm gonna turn this place on its fucking ear. I am gonna burn it to the ground. I actually want Centurion to win this grease fire of a match because one thing I have been.....despite all my flaws and failures.....is loyal. He picked me, he had faith in me, albeit bleak, and if I can't move onto the finals I want to make sure the road is clear for him to do so. Everybody seems to think I am some loose cannon. That may be, but Centurion I assure you that when that bell rings and War Games kicks off, you're the safest motherfucker in that building.

I am here, I am facing my demons, and I am going to do the one thing I've ever been good at, cause Chaos. Am I gonna win this thing? I don't expect to. Hell, even if I got the the finals they'd find some way to jerk me around or steal the win from me however they could. I'm team Centurion for the next 72 hours but after that I am what I have always been........

Team Chaos.

At least that you can't knock me for.


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