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+--- Thread: Feedback for Demon Chronicles (/showthread.php?tid=3624)
Feedback for Demon Chronicles - Scott Charlotte - 06-12-2013
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=3615
RP #2 The Demon Enters
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=3588
RP #1 The Demon and his Son
just general feedback on this new approach I've taken over the last week. I will be continuing from where I left off in the 1st one later this week. I like to switch between in Scott's head and outside.
Feedback for Demon Chronicles - KnightMask - 06-12-2013
Great RP's. My main comment would be that...I like it when the trash-talk has context related to the story portion of the RP.
But, I think you organized them well, wrote 'em well and the first one left me interested in where things were going to go.
Feedback for Demon Chronicles - Scott Charlotte - 06-13-2013
thanks Knightmask, Im happy you liked and yeah Im having an issue trying to use the trash talk in a first person sense without making the story confusing or messing with that.
Feedback for Demon Chronicles - KnightMask - 06-13-2013
Well, I really liked that you were like, "Words from a Tormented Mind", referencing that these are the words of a dude going through the crazy stuff that you see in the story portion. I mean, in a way that's all you need.
I might kind of retract the idea that it was a flaw, cause it ain't like Scotty is gonna necessarily be like, "Okay, promo time. First, I want to tell you about what has been going on in my personal life."
So, I mean, when the promo rolls around and he's talking trash, I guess really, you did it just right. He's a tormented mind, cutting this promo. But, I mean, its not Dr. Phil so its not like he's necessarily going to go and divulge everything that happened to him in the rest of the day.
Also, I should mention...the continuity between your RP's and the match he had...the fact that Charlotte is experiencing aftermath from a match and its lingering with him...AWESOME. Stuff like this makes the XWF seem alive and real. I love it.
Really, the main thing is that your RP's were really, really good. I just figured to give a suggestion about the trash-talk, to have some productive purpose to my post, but really, I think you were fine. But maybe continue, IMO, the whole thing of the segue title of the trash-talk portion relating to the story. I think its fun.
Feedback for Demon Chronicles - KnightMask - 06-13-2013
Oh, and the change of style from the first RP to the second was great too.
Feedback for Demon Chronicles - Scott Charlotte - 06-13-2013
right I get what you are saying. I will look it over the next time I write and see what best fits me. I realize that my style changes depending on the mood and who I am writing. Scott sticks to more Promo esque style stories while when The Wraith gets involved things change. As long I don't get too carried away with changing styles all the time it might work. haha.
Again though thanks man, it means a lot coming from you.
Feedback for Demon Chronicles - Scott Charlotte - 06-15-2013
Thanks Satellite
Happy you enjoy them. Thanks so much. I've really been enjoying this Demon Chronicles thing I've got going. So let's continue this a bit if that is alright. I have the next two installments right here!The Doctor and his Companion
The Doctor and his Patient
Read the Doctor and his Companion first, then and his Patient.
Feedback for Demon Chronicles - KnightMask - 06-16-2013
I guess I will say that, to me, the pull-out was OOC, not IC, i.e., I don't regard KnightMask as pulling out of a match, Jeremy Seaton didn't have time to RP for Shove It! and Warfare given his world schedule. At least, that's how I see it.
Feedback for Demon Chronicles - KnightMask - 06-16-2013
Not that its not easy to think of IC explanations for that. So, I mean, not a big deal.