"Sup, cunts."

"I was loitering at the hotel I'm at in Penascola, Florida for Anarchy and I saw Lane crying and throw this in the bin. Intrigued thinking it was divorce papers I went and looked at what he threw away and it turns out it was these cunting ratings!"

"Mad how quickly the results turn up. Great job, cunt, you killed the company."

"Also, Azrael, no one says fucking 'Le Sigh' in 2020 and follows it up with a stolen line from Netflix's The Witcher... "

(01-29-2020, 04:24 PM)Noah Jackson Said: "... Who?"

(01-29-2020, 04:27 PM)ENGINEER.EXE Said:

(01-29-2020, 04:24 PM)Noah Jackson Said: "... Who?"

NOT NICE!

(01-28-2020, 03:36 PM)ENGINEER.EXE Said:

(01-28-2020, 11:38 AM)Azrael Erebus Said: I'm in.

Lux is dead because of me. Wanna do something about it?

(01-30-2020, 12:39 AM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: i thought the ratings went through the roof when i was uni champ.. i think we need to change that with another uni title reign

(01-29-2020, 09:49 PM)Azrael Erebus Said: "Toss a coin to your Witcher"

(01-30-2020, 08:04 AM)Noah Jackson Said: "Yeah wrong on every account there, cunt. I just think you suck."

(01-28-2020, 03:36 PM)ENGINEER.EXE Said:

(01-28-2020, 11:38 AM)Azrael Erebus Said: I'm in.

Lux is dead because of me. Wanna do something about it?

(01-30-2020, 12:18 PM)Fuzz Said: “You know what.... I’ll just be quiet right now. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.”

(01-30-2020, 12:19 PM)Noah Jackson Said: "Not hearing anything of note here, cunt. Just bad breath jokes again. I'm done now, proved my point and you're boring and the worst thing to happen to the XWF since that C. Diff outbreak."

Ohhhh Shit y’all…. did you know that one of the Blackwaters died? But by the tom fuckery of something to do with god knows what he’s back, only this time he’s got a different face…

It like all this spooky shit is actuality. Well newsflash moron, I don’t buy it for one fucking second. Because they are the child of Az, don’t worry cupcake I’m getting to the point, the basic laws of nature don’t apply to them or yourself.

It’s as if your spooky shit only sold when was in charge (wink), and since then the competition has gotten better relegating you to basically nothing. To a person who would rather send their dipshit children out to be ridiculed by everyone and anyone.

But Fuzz what about your dipshit child?

You mean the double champ? You mean the person who works harder than anyone in this company? You mean the one that caught your eye so quickly yet your only retort is about his breath?

You’ve got to come better than that Azzhole. I know that one wasn’t very clever but I’m rolling with it. The fact that the only time that the spooky shot has gotten over was when Shane was in charge speaks volumes about that graph. Sure it was going downward after Main got the title, but it plummeted even further once ole Engy popped back up with his spooky shit.

So yes Az you are about as useless as all of your accolades that are listed in your signature. You are a relic of a bygone era.

Wait Fuzz aren’t you that as well? Sure if you count being in the Hall of Legends and also being a current double champ with a briefcase a relic, then sure. But I don’t know what you could call Az?

That’s right.

A fucking moron who no one cares about. You said. Noah should just kill himself? Seriously? What are you a grade schooler? You should really look into the barrel of a shotgun, and test how it tastes. Trust me no one would miss you or you fucking bastard kids.

Now piss off. Go get your ass kicked by Engy so we can all watch the great matchup of him versus Dax.

(01-30-2020, 11:59 AM)Azrael Erebus Said: " Longer than anyone held any singles championship.

(01-30-2020, 12:44 PM)Fuzz Said: LOTSA STUFF........so we can all watch the great matchup of him versus Dax.

Fuzz Said:"It’s as if your spooky shit only sold when was in charge (wink),"

Fuzz Said:"and since then the competition has gotten better" (he really did say this line)

*Waits for Fuzz to totally knock this out of the park by successfully following directions and answering only YES or NO to being in the HOL.





*Knows there's no way Fuzz will try and back out of this, nor make any claims about somehow being above it, or any other contrived excuses that are intended to make him sound like he has an ego about him even though he's backing down from answering a yes or no question correctly.






*As a bonus, is also waiting to see if additional narration appears in Fuzz's inevitable response, and that will be his way around keeping his response to only one word. It will also be flattering as hell.







*Is now, unfortunately, starting to doubt Fuzz's ability to knock this out of the park. The more he thinks about it, Shane is fearful. So fearful of living in a world where Fuzz doesn't know how to answer a yes or no question.








*Isn't even thinking anymore, but this stupid ass crap at the end with the added dumb fuck narration from me (Shane's anonymously gay, yet proudly shitty narrator) is really getting fucking stupid... don't YOU all think?









*Is afraid Fuzz will feel so overwhelmed by the sheer length of this long winded attempt to ask a question, that Fuzz will feel triggered to supply an insane amount of artificially inflated ego in his response.










*Then again, by the time this scene is done, will Fuzz even remember what he was asked?











*The narration finally has stopped(!?), and whoever you are, you're very pleased by this turn of events. (???)












*You're wondering why this clip hasn't stopped even though the narration has allegedly stopped, but nobody knows you're wondering that because this narration isn't even happening and can't even be heard OR seen using closed captioning! At this point, you're hallucinating as a result of watching this, and now you also think it's cool to pretend to have an ego just as large as the one Fuzz portrays on TV.













 
























*Fingers crossed we get one of those infamous Fuzz self-owns? Perhaps he'll supply the yes or no answer at first, but then think he's clever by instantly uploading a lengthy followup because he can't resist some of those trigger points that got SMASHED so hard? Stop that! Don't say that! We like him! Fuzz has GOT this!

---

Uni Title Ratings EXPOSED - Shawn Warstein - 01-30-2020

“Yes”

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Uni Title Ratings EXPOSED - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 01-30-2020

What a fucking shock, you couulllldddn'tuuuhh even uh uhhhh, whaaaaa...? Waggle bagga? *BANG!!!!!!!!

Shane's head jerks to the left and his shoulder starts to twitch violently. He collapses.

*Shane right about now is thinking about how he will follow this up as soon as he's recovered from his exploding brain. Shane wasn't expecting this. The death blow will be if Fuzz follows up before Shane fully recovers, though. I personally hope that happens so I can stop narrating Shane's shitty life.*

---

Uni Title Ratings EXPOSED - Shawn Warstein - 01-30-2020

“........”

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Uni Title Ratings EXPOSED - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 01-30-2020

Blank stare

Mouth agape

Drool

*blink*

That disarming, shit eating grin!

"I'm back!

Props on that swerve a few minutes ago, Fuzz. I almost died and had to come back, but luckily I am revived!

So! Hall of Legends, yeah?

That's the place where all the biggest names of the XWF's history are shown, and all the really nice things their peers had to say about them get listed too! Sure, some of those comments from peers trail off into "forbidden" territory that we aren't really supposed to address because it could easily snowball until it causes max exoduses... but the names that took the time to speak on their inducted peers and show respect ARE known.

I ask that you open your heart and your soul to the idea that I just might be your biggest fan, Fuzz...

Tell me the long list of names... JUST the names... that care about you and your legacy, Fuzz. Tell me the long list of names that took the time to say ANYTHING about you under your Hall of Legends entry?

Go ahead and say those names. SAY THEM ALL!!!!

DO IT!!!! ANNOUNCE TO THE WORLD HOW MANY PEOPLE REMEMBER THE AFTERTHOUGHT'S HISTORY!!!!!!! Plus EVERYTHING ELSE you want to say! Hold NOTHING back!!!!!!! NOOOTHIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - The salivary glands of Shane must have been working overtime since he recovered from his exploding brain, because the camera is just about covered in spit from him screaming like a psycho for only a few seconds. Normally this level of salivation would require a rant of at least one hour.

---

Uni Title Ratings EXPOSED - Noah Jackson - 01-31-2020

"Wait, can anyone just say stuff about Legends? So if I tell everyone that Theo Pryce hangs around schools it stays on there forever?... Sick!"

---

Uni Title Ratings EXPOSED - Azrael Erebus - 01-31-2020

"Don't ever open your mouth again, you dumb fucking wanker. By the sanctioned gods, it's like you're a fucking bee, always buzzing about. Stop! And get a fucking life."

---

Uni Title Ratings EXPOSED - Noah Jackson - 01-31-2020

"Hahahaha Az is so tilted! That's sick."

---

Uni Title Ratings EXPOSED - Azrael Erebus - 01-31-2020

"Point proven."


"I thought you were going home, you had your ball.... what happened?"

---

Uni Title Ratings EXPOSED - Noah Jackson - 01-31-2020

"Came back to laugh at you hahaha!"

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Uni Title Ratings EXPOSED - Noah Jackson - 01-31-2020

"Also, still waiting to hear anything notable you've done, if it makes it easier how about after 2014? Oh, and those rules you made for the TV title, the old one where the champ could do 2 promos a day and the challenger could only do 1 making it easier for you to not show what a salty little bitch you can be. Yeah that rules gone now so you have nothing. Just wanted to remind you, cunt. "

" I can go now if it'll make you feel any better?"

---

re:Uni Title Ratings EXPOSED - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 01-31-2020

(01-31-2020, 12:59 PM)Noah Jackson Said: "those rules you made for the TV title, the old one where the champ could do 2 promos a day and the challenger could only do 1 making it easier for you to not show what a salty little bitch you can be. Yeah that rules gone now so you have nothing. Just wanted to remind you, cunt. "

" I can go now if it'll make you feel any better?"

Do more than REMIND him.

Tell us ALL!

Noah, why in your experience, do you believe more promos help you? This sounds like a challenge exclusive to you, Grandson. Do you live in a world where you're not allowed to think about your opponent, watch footage of their matches, or go to the gym, or even be aware that you have a match unless you can do more promos before the DAY that event happens? In a dreadfully out of tune, sing-songy tone, Shane prances around and lets his wrists go all limp and bouncy as: How _could Noah ^possibly be prepared ^{for his} match if ^he can't do _more ^promos first!?^?_?

Starting to try and sound really angry, Shane shoves his face right up to the camera and starts to yell, I want details cunt!!!! And you SING them back to me! And tell your fake egomaniac dad I'm waiting for him to tell me he accepts that I'm his biggest fan and supporter, as well as quite possibly his fucking FATHER!!!!! MAKE him answer! NOW CUNT!!!!

Switching straight from yelling and being a dickbag, to smiling and appearing to be in good spirits... Shane winks again at Noah but this time with all THREE eyes.?.?.?

Under his breath we hear, Haha, man, I just can't get around the fact that I genuinely like these sick cunts. Even friendly banter with them is a blast. Wish I could say that about FAT ASS ROBBIE! Haha oh well.

---

Uni Title Ratings EXPOSED - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 01-31-2020

Oh, and Az? Maybe you'd be doing better in recent YEARS here if you could stop vanishing during the times you are given opportunities to shine, and stop fucking over your team mates in important matches. Who's the latest victim? Big D? Oh wait, no that was one of your relatives following in your footsteps as he let D down in the Lethal Lotto tournament. He was taught well!

Why not just cut to the chase and focus on reality? Remember how you used to usually keep that random "disappearance into a glass bottle" to at least a minimum? Sure it would still happen on occasion, but it was WAYYYY less often back when you saw success during the very early portion of my XWF ownership.

How are you to brag about a long title reign when your spotty performances and disassembled attention span of today would never even allow you to win a title let alone retain it, regardless of the title's stipulations?

Do you see what you've done by going off the deep end in the last few years? Now you have my good friend Fuzz trying to give ME credit for keeping you on the straight and sturdy road, despite him not even having been there. My GOD is he determined to shower me with praise, respect, and love. Then we have Noah acting as though the rules surrounding that title somehow influenced outcomes, even though HELLO A TELEVISION TITLE MEANS TV TIME, WHICH MEANS IT MAKES SENSE FOR THAT CHAMP TO HAVE MORE WHAT? OH! TV TIME!!!!

Az, why do I have to supply your answers for you, you ?

Shane laughs and takes a sip of a rather dark looking beverage from a clear glass. It's a brown, sludgy substance that we can see trailing down his throat as he lifts the glass and finishes.

*Waits for Az to vanish for another month and a half, while we all know why, yet re-appear out of the blue like no time had been lost.

*Waits for his laxative to kick in, as well as his Viagra. It's going to be a big night.

---