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+--- Thread: NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! (/showthread.php?tid=36067)
NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 01-28-2020
I don't even need to supply the quotes or the clips because everyone already knows my word is law, so I'm just going to spell it out like this...
First, Vita — You offered $30k in exchange for a slap to the leathery face of Centurion.
Second, Thunder Knuckles — You elected to step in and put your name down as the one to finance this hit.
Now as everyone has seen at Cunt Fest, I was SO determined to live up to the hit I accepted, I had to fucking no sell the effects of the most barbaric (and only) cage match I had ever been a part of. Do you know how much willpower it took for me to make it so the instant the cameras left CCP and Main standing over me, the camera cut to Centurion in the back with me running up to slap him? That was NOT easy!
Since then, TK apparently had some problems with his finances that I couldn't give two shits about – I am owed $30k XBux by TK, regardless.
So what's Vita do? She sends me THIRTY BUCKS and includes a note claiming she forgot whether it's supposed to be $30 or $30k -- apparently she thinks I joke about money. Now, before I could even answer and tell her it doesn't matter how much money she wants to give me for free because it won't relieve TK's debt, she sends a full $30k afterward!
Thanks!
Because for every dollar anybody GIFTS me on behalf of TK's debt - doesn't even matter who - that's going to be an additional dollar TK must pay to me.
That's $30k + $30 + $30k that I am now owed, Knucks. A grand total of $60,030. You better hope nobody else gives me any money on your behalf in the meantime... Let's get it solved, TK. Fix your money problems and let's soon laugh about this over crumpets with maple syrup and NO butter.
re:NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - Thunder Knuckles™ - 01-28-2020
...Yep...No problem Shane...
NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - Vita Frickin Valenteen - 01-28-2020
WAIT, WAT!!?
NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-01-2020
Shane
sits at a calculator with a desk in his hand and comes up with some numbers. He looks at the camera and exclaims, Thunder Knuckles!!! It's been a few days!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY MONEY?!!!??
As of now, February 1st, we have a new total because Vita decided to send me another $1,000 toward your debt! SO THAT'S ANOTHER $1,000 TOWARD YOUR DEBT ALRIGHT!!!
$61,030!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Remember, if this comes to me having to ...... HIRE..... somebody, their payments also get added toward your debt. Plus, then, ya know... you'd be getting mutilated by a sick freak who thinks accepting money in exchange for spilling blood is a good thing. You wouldn't want to have to deal with someone like THAT, would you TK?
re:NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - Vita Frickin Valenteen - 02-01-2020
You're not the only one looking for him Shane.
Have you seen these?
They're everywhere!!
![[Image: missing-poster-template-5912111e5d415c2d...screen.jpg]](https://i.postimg.cc/kgH3XmDs/missing-poster-template-5912111e5d415c2da76a86670ce23782-screen.jpg)
NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - Robert "The Omega" Main - 02-01-2020
Shane I know we don't see eye to eye. One day maybe we can put that behind us. That being said there is nothing worse than being owed money. Here's 10K. TK pay the man his money!
NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-01-2020
Shane throws his phone at the wall after reading the text alert from his xbank.
Well there we have it! Knuckles, your debt has already shot up ANOTHER ten grand!
$71,030!
This thing's climbing faster than Gilly's SUPERDICK in a room full of the hottest super models in the world! You're lucky you have friends like Vita and Robert to pitch in for you! Now pay up!
NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - Maverick - 02-01-2020
"You know, I have to say - I really hate being owed money too. Fuck people who think they can extort us hard-working wrestlers by not paying up on their end of the bargain."
"Shane? Expect 3,970 Xbux from me to bring that grand total to a cool 75k."
re:NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - Robert "The Omega" Main - 02-01-2020
(02-01-2020, 11:01 PM)Maverick Said: "You know, I have to say - I really hate being owed money too. Fuck people who think they can extort us hard-working wrestlers by not paying up on their end of the bargain."
"Shane? Expect 3,970 Xbux from me to bring that grand total to a cool 75k."
I've got money to burn and seeing how this bum won't pay up. Let's make his total 100,000. Here 25,000 more! TK you gonna end up with that ass kicked!
re:NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - Centurion - 02-02-2020
You know, this whole thing started with me. I feel bad that
slapped me in order to get paid, and he still hasn't. So, here's an extra 1,000.
re:NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-02-2020
Render unto Shane what is Shane's.
NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-02-2020
$_$
Due to the alarming rate at which TK's debt is climbing, Shane loses track of the total! "Dammit, Thunder Cuckles" he bellows to the heavens!!
"Where are you?!? Somebody find him!"
"I'm tacking an additional $2k on for the inconvenience of me having to keep up with this explosive debt! I have better things to do than count money all day! Your total is probably all the way up to a Bilzerian dollars now!"
Shane heads to the store in a tizzy, hoping to purchase a brand new calculator; perhaps one that can withstand being thrown against walls and stepped on...?
NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - Maverick - 02-02-2020
"So now we're at, oh... 103k Xbux? That's all well and dandy and what not, but as someone I knew would say..."
"I'm a man of even numbers."
"Shane, expect an extra 7k for that debt on top of what you have now. That's climbing straight up to 110k Xbux."
re:NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-02-2020
Shane starts to panic, getting notice that the total may have increased yet again since his last comments a few minutes ago. Breaking into a sweat, he pulls erratically into the parking lot of a dollar store, takes up two spots like an asshole, and gets out of the car in such a rush that he trips and falls flat on his face...
"DAMMIT TK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Scrambling to his feet, he starts hobbling as fast as he can to the store. He's so close to the front doors he can almost smell the $1 calculators now...
re:NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-02-2020
At last he had it! And now Shane knew he was ready for anything...
From far behind him in the parking lot... "Sir! Excuse me sir, you have to pay for that!"
re:NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - Phantom Panzer - 02-03-2020
"What's money to a God? I'm all in!"
NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - Maverick - 02-06-2020
"So we just gonna ignore that TK has disappeared at the same time he's decided to rack on more debt than a college student? Shane, what's the grand total so I can make it even again?"
re:NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - Phantom Panzer - 02-06-2020
(02-06-2020, 04:33 AM)Maverick Said: "So we just gonna ignore that TK has disappeared at the same time he's decided to rack on more debt than a college student? Shane, what's the grand total so I can make it even again?"
"It's a fuckton, Mavvy. A fucking ton. I hate people who don't pay their fucking debts."
NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-06-2020
I have an update, guys!
Thunder Knuckles has indeed paid me!
Shane's old 2G iphone Said:Hello, you've just received a gift of ✘130,000 x-bux.
Reason given by user: Service rendered
The only problem is my small pink calculator broke, and I can't afford a new one right now. Can anyone figure out if TK actually paid off his FULL debt or not? I'll pay $100 xbux for this service!!!!
DO IT! MATH FOR ME! ANYONE!
re:NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - Maverick - 02-06-2020
(02-06-2020, 08:02 AM)Phantom Panzer Said:(02-06-2020, 04:33 AM)Maverick Said: "So we just gonna ignore that TK has disappeared at the same time he's decided to rack on more debt than a college student? Shane, what's the grand total so I can make it even again?"
"It's a fuckton, Mavvy. A fucking ton. I hate people who don't pay their fucking debts."
"No, seriously. How much did you donate to Shane?"
re:NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - Phantom Panzer - 02-06-2020
(02-06-2020, 06:06 PM)Maverick Said:(02-06-2020, 08:02 AM)Phantom Panzer Said:(02-06-2020, 04:33 AM)Maverick Said: "So we just gonna ignore that TK has disappeared at the same time he's decided to rack on more debt than a college student? Shane, what's the grand total so I can make it even again?"
"It's a fuckton, Mavvy. A fucking ton. I hate people who don't pay their fucking debts."
"No, seriously. How much did you donate to Shane?"
"I gave him 71,984. Like I said, a fuckton."
NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - Maverick - 02-06-2020
"So then, we were at 110k before, plus Panzer's money, which I'll round up to 72k, that means it was at 182k, so needless to say he didn't pay it off fully, but now the debt is sitting at..."
Maverick counts on his fingers to double check the math.
"52k Xbux is remaining on that debt! And Shane, you can expect an extra 8k from me to get it to 60k!"
NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-07-2020
Shane's zonked out on the couch with an open bottle of moonshine spilled over into his lap. Something brown is smeared all over him as well. As soon as he realizes he's on camera, he puts a pillow over his exposed penis and seems surprisingly coherent.
Alright now TK sent me another thirty bux last night, followed by another 60k last night!
Where's my math-o-magician? I think I owe TK some change, and if so, I need to know the exact amount so I can make sure he gets it back!
NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - Nathaniel Idenhaus - 02-07-2020
"You owe him thirty dollars."
"Hello, Shane."
"You look... as one could rationally expect you to look."
re:NEWS FLASH: Debts to Shane must be paid by the debtor! - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 02-07-2020
(02-07-2020, 10:59 AM)Nathaniel Idenhaus Said:
"You look... as one could rationally expect you to look."
Hola, NAZI!
I look... better than I've ever looked before? I know!
(02-07-2020, 10:59 AM)Nathaniel Idenhaus Said: "You owe him thirty dollars."
Then thirty dollars TK WILL RECEIVE!
...in person, directly from my royal treasurer! - It wasn't immediately clear why that made Shane so happy. His smile could rape a hundred stray dogs.