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Misadventures in preparations - Printable Version

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Misadventures in preparations - Shawn Warstein - 09-27-2019

September 28th 2019
1:46AM
Miami


“I can’t see straight…”

I mumble under my breath. I take a moment to compose myself, and look around my surroundings. I’m honestly in the last place I would’ve ever imagined. I’m in a fucking club. A bunch of fucking millennials are covering the dance floor. Their motions alone are causing me to become woozy. I check around the table I’m sitting at and see a bill sitting there, I pick it up and look it over.


“Thanks for the drinks Dad! -NJ-“

I flip the bill over and of course Noah has something written on the backside.

“P.S. Make sure you tip her big.”

I crumpled up the paper and toss it aside. The waitress saunters over and places a hand on my shoulder.

“Can I get you anything else?”

I shake my head ‘No’ and dig out my credit card. I hand it over to her. She smiles and walks away. I continue to sit at the table slowly fading in and out of sleep. Then…

THUD!

My head slams against the tables causing all the stuff to fling in every direction. It shocks me awake and I quickly try to pick everything up. Before long the waitress walks back. She slides my card to me, and begins to clean up the table.

“Do you need me to call you a ride?”

I pause for a moment, pull out my phone and hand it to her.

“Uber please.”

“Where are you staying?”

I shrug and just blurt out the only thing I remember.

“Some hotel on the strip. ..”

She books the Uber. Hell she even helped me get up and out of there. She walked me up to the Uber and explained to the driver what was going on. I fell asleep in the back as he drove me to what I assumed was the strip.

September 28th 2019
1:46AM
Miami


It turns out it was the beach. When I apparently passed out next to a large rock. It was indeed the same beach where my match tomorrow is going to take place. After many calls to Uber, apparently I was adamant that I be dropped off at the beach. I was cursing and yelling, and finally the guy gave in. I apologized to Uber and asked to give the man a tip for his time and gold like patience.

I hadn’t even gotten up from my resting place while making the calls to Uber. I finally stood up and watched as a few XWF employees were setting up a few barricades where fans could watch. I witnessed a man pulling up my red flags. I bolt over to him.

“What the fuck are you doing!?? No… No… No. You’re ruining everything I set up!”

I screamed at the man while out of breath. He looked at me like I was a crazy person, and quickly radioed for help.

“Yeah, I’ve got a hung over drifter over here, spouting all sorts of nonsense. Requesting security to escort him out.”

I quickly snatch the radio off of him. I press the button and hear the familiar crackle of the radio.

“Yeah go ahead and cancel the security. Everything is all good over here.”

I let go of the button and throw the radio as far as I could into the ocean. The guy looks at me and then rushes. I quickly sidestep him, and take him down. I want to throw a punch so bad, but I resist. I slowly get off of him, and allow him to roll over. I show my hands to him, actually for once showing no ill intent. I reach my hand down to help him up, he huffs and smacks my hand away. He stands up, brushes the sand from his uniform and finally gets a good look at me.

“Oh shit…. you’re….”

“Yeah, and im really fucking pissed off right now. Everything I did to prepare for this match you just fucking ruined.”

“I didn’t know.”

“I sent the email to all staff informing them of what to do and what not to remove. Next you’re going to tell me you don’t work for the XWF…”

“I don’t. I work for a temp agency. Any email you would’ve sent, I surely never have seen.”

I kick sand all over the place. I’m basically throwing a temper tantrum on the beach. The guy looks around for someone else but no one is coming to save him. He tries to stop me, but I ignore him as I begin to walk away.

“Stupid… why did I do it the day BEFORE? Idiot! Always day of. Always. That way Shit like this doesn’t fucking happen. What am I going to do now?”

The guy walks up to me and jumps in front of my face.

“I think I can help…”

He sounded sure of himself, but not confident. He holds up a hand to have me stay. He runs towards a service van and swings open the doors in the back. He digs around for a moment and comes running back holding what looks like a weed wacker.

“I think this’ll help.”

On second look it’s not a weed wacker, but a metal detector. I quickly snatch it from him and look it over. I fire it up but nothing happens.

“Does it work?”

“It should. I confiscated it off of some Aussie kid before you showed up. Had a mouth on him. He kept saying ‘Cunt’ and how I was ruining his DADS preparation. You don’t sound Australian, so it wasn’t you he was talking about right?”

I nod.

“That’s Noah. It’s a long story for another day for now we need to get these stakes back into the ground where my stuff is.”

We begin to walk all around the beach. Every time there was a hit, I dropped down and dug into the sand to make sure. Soon enough all of the stakes were planted again. We begin our walk back to the entrance.

“And that’s why Noah thinks I’m his dad.”

“So… You’re are his Dad? Or No?”

I shrug as I sit down on the beach looking over the ocean. I’m not nervous because that only happens to pussies. I’m calm. I know that in just a few short hours History repeats itself, and shortly after that everything changes for the XWF.



The Afterthought:

Hello everyone my name is Big D, and I’m afraid.

*Hello Big D.*

I want everyone to know that this fear running through me is something I just cannot get rid of and it has shaken me to the core. I stand here before all of you the current X-Treme champion. Yet I do not feel I deserve this accolade. It’s really simple it’s called imposter syndrome. I lucked into this position, and I can’t help but think I don’t belong. I will lose this title. There is no way I can possibly defeat Fuzz. I know this is the end of the road for me with this title, so I would like to request my Tag Team title shot before it gets lost in the shuffle. I haven’t even defended this title once in the middle of the ring, or beach in Fuzz’s case, yet I have held onto it despite numerous attempts on it from multiple people.

*Fuzz yawns*

Do you not see how fucking stupid you sound right there? I mean sure I’m embellishing a little bit, but to everyone listening… that’s what you sound like. You are worried you’ll miss your tag team opportunity, you’re worried about losing to me. I wouldn’t worry so much about it if I were you. It’s actually quite common to feel that dread before facing me. It takes a special talent to get one over on me. Just ask Centurion. He had to have the red cheat for him to beat me. Ask Cam, he needed two other people to weaken me. Ask Tony Santos, a battle was waged and sometimes you come up short. Yet all of them have something you lack.

Centurion is a Legend and has fought me constantly over the years. Cam is new and was looking for something to prove. Santos was just about perfect in the ring to beat me. You’re not a Legend, I am. You’re not new, neither am I. You’re not perfect, and I am as close as humanly possible. Yet none of that means jack shit here, there is no ring. There are no rules. Hell this is going to be on a beach in the middle of fucking Miami. You have no leg to stand on.

There is nothing fair about this match. This is just another way for management to get one over on me. Just think about it for just one second, I know it’s going to hurt your brain just relax and breath we will get you through it. We are going to be “competing” on a fucking beach, in the open to the public, where anything goes. Doesn’t that strike you as odd? I mean in your thick skull, this can go one of two ways, I win or I lose. Yet it goes deeper than that, that precious title you currently hold is on the line 24/7. Some asshat standing around could jump on top of you after I’ve beaten you so bad that I have to catch a breath, and boom gone. Now that wouldn’t stop me from basically killing a man, but the fact remains. Sure if it’s Usain Bolt he could probably get away.

That’s what you’re missing. Management’s own personal vendetta against not only myself but anyone who was around prior to ’s administration. They look at Centurion, Raven, Page, and the others, myself included, as a fucking virus that needs to be vaccinated. Yet what they all forgot was that I am Antiviral Resistant. I adapt to my surroundings. I watch and learn from what’s happening, but let’s not make this all about me.

No, No, No my friend. You had some very concerning things to say about me, and even what I have said to you in the past on Twitter. So let’s go down memory lane shall we. Remind me Miniscule D, who was the Federweight champion before you? Right Mini Morbid. How did he get that title? That’s right I gave it up. No one wanted to play with me. Not a single person wanted to step up to the plate and dare to swing at my fastball. I got bored and dropped it, and then you like the parasite you are swooped in and was like… “LOOK AT ME! I did something. I took a title from a pestitulante child! Praise me!” He’ll if you wanted a real challenge to that title you could’ve come at me when I was holding it, but no, you were scared.

And when a real threat to you popped up in Sara, you folded faster than a cheap suit. You couldn’t handle it when she eviscerated you. But hey, you were a double champion after all. I wouldn’t want to go into detail, but you were double champ for all of what… 10hours? Ok it was like 2 days max. Yup seems like something I wouldn’t go around bragging about. Frankly to call me jealous of you for holding both of them…

Are you fucking stupid? What on this fucking earth do I have to be jealous of you about? You galavanting around with worthless titles? Or Sara carrying you to your one and only Universal Title shot? Or coming up short in that match? Or you slobbing on the knob of Robert after he basically handed you the X-Treme title? Everything you’ve “accomplished” has been on the backs of other people, and when you hand to stand on your own you came up just short. You can bring up my current losses all you want, it’s still not going to change the fact that the day I ever become jealous of you, or anyone else for that fact, is the day I leap off the Brooklyn Bridge face first. Again everyone thinks that Noah is a soft spot for me, and how we were just thrown together at the last minute. If you would have paid any attention Noah and I as a team was building for MONTHS, but I guess you were too ignorant to realize that. Also it turns out that I might be his dad. Just let me ask you one question… why didn’t you join the Tag Team Tournament? You say that Noah was the only one that could stand me. You say you had bigger and better things, yet here we both are at the same spot, and match. No I think the real reason you didn’t participate because you don’t have any friends. While Noah and I may not always get along, at least when something goes wrong I have someone who has my back. You on the other have nothing.

You have nothing for me to be jealous… Or maybe you’re just jealous of me and you are deflecting that upon me. Oh wait… you admitted as much. I am a Legend. You can call it a “Joke” all you want, but the fact of the matter is this… I’m there and you’ll never be. You say within the ranks of Raven, SJ, Centurion, that I’m the joke? Ok, quick history lesson. Without me there is no James Raven. Without me there is no Avenger Steve Jason. There is no Centurion! Why? I laid the groundwork for them, and continued to be here when the times were bleak. I kept the ship afloat. Not you. While you were off playing patty cake with some scrubs, I was here thriving, and helping those Legends walk through the door. So while in your shortsighted eyes, it was a joke, ask anyone of them and they’ll tell you nothing but facts.

But while we are on the past, you’re right… it is bullshit the don’t honor it, but guess what dipshit… It still fucking happened. I don’t give a shit if burned everything to ashes, everyone knows what happened, except for you? Fuck man you didn’t even have to dig too deep either. Go to the website, click Hall of Legends, boom my face. Then go to the Top 50 of all time list, which was voted on by the boys, boom my name! For fuck sake man, I was gone for nearly a decade and people still knew who the fuck I was. When you eventually wash out by January no one will even know, or care that you fucking existed. My name is etched into the record books and that will never change, meanwhile yours is written on an etch-a-sketch. A quick shake and you’re Sawyze… that means “Ghost” as in dead?! Fuck get with the lingo.

I absolutely love it when people call me “Old News”. It’s so… boring, but also appropriate. Why? Well simply put history always repeats itself. Fucking Nazi’s are back for shit’s sake. Yet you act like I’m not going to filet your fucking flesh off. You say they wanted to test you against a veteran? Newsflash dipshit, you fought for the Universal Title! They know what they have in you… a nobody. They didn’t put you in the Main Event of Day two… no they put me there to finally make a Big D match entertaining. It’s awesome that you’re so confident in the ending of our match. It’s as if you’re so blinded but jealousy, that it’s the only thing fueling you right now.m, if you haven’t noticed, you’ve said a lot of the same shit over and over again. Sure you used different verbs, adjectives and whatnot, but it’s all the same.

There is a lot that I plan on accomplishing in this match, none of it revolves around me being relevant. Since I’ve been back, I’ve been relevant. What I’m going to do is allow history to begin repeating. In 1999 the first title I won was the X-Treme title. I plan on doing just that again, only this time I’m not the rookie, I’m the veteran with nothing to lose. Your confidence knows no bounds. Neither did his. I need you to know that I don’t take anything you say about me as a threat. Just beware, from this point forward, keep my name out of your mouth. Yet if you must say it…

At least put some respect on it.