:: The scene opens up on a courtroom filled with XWF megastars who are willing to be there, maybe you're there! Maybe not. Who knows? BigD is marched into the room in an orange jumpsuit, handcuffs as the crowds murmur between themselves. Big D does pretty generic poses when entering, doesn't really give fives or shake hands, mostly just focuses on the defendant's table and the court case ahead. BigD gets to the attorney with his lawyer as the prosecution stare daggers at the two. A bailiff who may or not be Noah Jackson in disguise speaks. ::

"Get on your clogs, cunts, for the honourable and very handsome Judge Jackson."

:: All stand as Judge Jackson gets to the stand and cracks open a VB, putting his feet up. ::

"G'day cunts, pop a squat."

:: Everyone sits as Judge Jackson takes a sip. ::

"Right, cunts, gonna be honest with you all right now. I have no fucking clue how court works because I'm not a bogan so we're gonna be winging shit today. That cool."

:: The prosecution who looks like a cunt raises a hand. ::

"I know how court works!"

"No one cares, cunt! This is more fun. Prosecution you have the floor."

:: The cunt adjusts his tie and takes to the floor. ::

"Your sickest cunt, the Xtreme title in the XWF has been held in high regard for many, many years and this Big D has made a mockery out of it! He has lost his last two matches and as well all know, the title is 24/7 meaning 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. That's forever! Every match, every second of every day! And this piece of shit still has the title!"

:: The crowd murmurs as Big D just looks tired. Judge Jackson bangs his can of beer for order. ::

"Shut it, cunts!"

"I think it is only fair, the hardest working judge in the justice system, that Big D be STRIPPED of the title and raped for his crimes!"

:: The prosecution adjusts his suit and goes to seat. Judge Jackson puts both of his index fingers to his lips and nods. ::

"Defence cunts? Your rebuttal?"

:: The defending attorney who is definitely Noah Jackson in disguise stands and whispers to Big D ::

OTHER NOAH: "We got this, cunt."

:: Big D just smiles politely, trying to suppress the aneurysm. Other Noah walks to the centre of the room. ::

OTHER NOAH: "The Vegemite of Social Justice, what that cunt has failed to mention is HOW my client lost his matches like a shit cunt. Against Zane Norrison on Anarchy the match ended in a DQ! As we all know, in wrestling a title CANNOT change hands via DQ. In his match against Thaddeus Duke, that twink got the win by climbing the ladder and grabbing the TV title. The Xtreme was on the line as it always is yes but what the prostitution-"

"Prosecution."

OTHER NOAH: "I know what I said, cunt! What that cunt failed to mention was the Xtreme title MUST change hands on a pin. There may be evidence in the past where this may not be the case but that was a fucking dumb decision made by some stupid cunt. As we all know, you must PIN the champion to win. Not win by DQ, not climb a fucking ladder but PIN. My client has not been pinned while champion!"

"Is this true Big Cunt? Have you not been pinned while champ?"

:: The room looks to Big D who is stone-faced. ::

BIG D: "I have not, and that's the cold Big D truth."

:: The crowd cheer. Japanese streamers are thrown and someone punches a racist in the face just out of how amazing this moment is. The prosecution seethe in pure anger, tearing their notes into tiny shreds. Judge Jackson bangs his beer for order. ::

"Right that's enough, cunts, let's wrap this up. Jury, you're decision?"

:: The one and only juror who is Noah Jackson in a blonde wig and sunglasses counts a hefty wad of cash as the prosecution nonchalantly walks away with a whistle. ::

JURY NOAH: "Guilty, cunt. Fuck it."

:: Big D's big face drops. ::

"Big D, you have been found guilty by the sickest of cunts. I sentence you... TO BE PINNED!!!"

:: The crowd go manic, tossing chairs and shit. Smashing up the courtroom like in a drunken rager. The defence falls into a deep depression and begins to tie a noose as the prosecution just laughs in Big D's face. The judge throws a mop from behind the stand and bowls Big D over with, the mop very wet from being used to clean up a lot of bullshit is heavy and dirty, pinning Big D's chest down and he is powerless to remove it. The crowd chant ::

MOP! MOP! MOP! MOP!

:: They want the true champion, this mop to win! A referee, who is also Noah Jackson, slides into view and begins the count ::

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