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+--- Thread: Soldier, just ignore this. Go smoke a bowl, chill. This isn't important, man. (/showthread.php?tid=34566)
Soldier, just ignore this. Go smoke a bowl, chill. This isn't important, man. - Noah Jackson - 08-29-2019
Noah Jackson hides in the bushes concocting his most brilliant to date. In the street lies a pound of black tar heroin. How did Noah get this?
Fuck you, that's how.
Above the heroin is a cardboard box resting upon a stick.
And on that stick.
A fishing line is attached.
And holding THAT fishing wire is Noah Jackson.
The smartest cunt alive.
Noah stays still and silent waiting for his victim. Slowly Unknown Soldier comes around the corner to take a piss break from the perpetual pinning predicament that he and Vinne Lane are involved in. He spots the heroin and Noah, hoping he didn't miss the part where Soldier got clean at some point in, grins to himself.
Soldier licks his lips glaring at the package (unless this isn't canon in his story anymore which Noah is still to get through. In which case the heroin has been replaced with a delicious hamburger like how American studios used to dub over Japanese things like sushi and tentacle porn.)
Soldier dives on the heroin (or burger!) and Noah pulls at the wire trapping Soldier underneath the box!
It rattles and shakes violently as he tries to break free from his cardboard prison but Noah with grace and agility leaps through the air and belly flops onto the box, pinning the champ!
"Hand it over, cunt! Give someone else a turn!"
A ref slides into view.
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re:Soldier, just ignore this. Go smoke a bowl, chill. This... - Unknown Soldier - 08-29-2019
Soldier kicks out and grabs both the burger and the black tar heroin. He puts the heroine on his burger and starts going to town on it. Adds some ketchup and mustard and really makes a meal out of it. Swallowing the entire thing whole in a matter of milliseconds. Soldier then slams a whole cup full of cunt juice that was sitting next to him. You may be wondering where he would be able to find that many female fluids and the answers are quite simple. He's friends with Peter Gilmour and everyone knows that when Peter just walks past chics they get wet in their panties. Hence; cunt juice. Some villains drink tears. Soldier drinks cunt juice. Soldier then slams the cardboard box over Noah's head and kicks him down a flight of stairs.
"Me no share!"
re:Soldier, just ignore this. Go smoke a bowl, chill. This... - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 08-29-2019
Ah man, I really thought Noah was gonna convince him to ignore it!