Cunty Cunt Cunt



I walk down the street with a phone in my hand, casually scrolling through the bullshit that is Twitter. It's a fair nice day in Arizona, reminds me of Oz in summer but there's a bigger threat of being killed because every cunt and their mum is packing. Fuckig wild these Yank cunts.

I put out a tweet and place my phone in my pocket and my mind starts to wander.

Fucking should be Internet champ, shit cunt, I should be Hart Champion!

But no, cunts trying to keep me down.

I'm the hardest worker in the XWF! I came to this hellhole early just so I can scout out the arena, get my training in early and get to know the ring crew. Sure, I arrived in Arizona because I thought Anarchy was on the sixth. Yeah, I got to know the ring crew to see if they could screw with Lane's chair and announcer's table, make the cunt fall over mid-show and yes, my training has consisted mostly of bullying the kids at the local park BUT I'm still golden, cunt. Speaking of bullying kids, I look to my left to see the little shits loitering on the swings, they collectively groan as I approach.

"Which one of you pipsqueak cunts looking to get slapped, real fucking hard?"

CUNT KID #1: "C'mon man, we just want to hang out on the park."

CUNT KID #2: "Yeah! Why do you have to bully us all the time?"

I lean down to their level.

"Because bullying builds character. Now fuck off and let a future champion play on the swings."

The three of them sulk and kick sand as I move them along, I think about hucking a rock at one the little shits but notice the XWF cameraman that's been following me around and think better of causing grievous bodily harm. I'm sick of these cunts just interrupting every moment of my life. I'm sick of the XWF, the shows the management. I should be a champ by now but every single fucking cunt has to push me down. I'm against VV of all people instead of being in the main event! That's ! I chew my lip looking at the cunt.

"C'mere then, cunt!"

I shout and the cameraman scampers over as I slowly rock on the swing.

"When I first joined the XWF, I decided to take a dip in Anarchy and now I'm stuck in this cunt like a fly in vegemite. I'm bogged down in the fucking C show and I can't get out because of this contract. I'm stuck playing Vinnie Lane's plaything, I have to dance while that cunt gets his tiny, feminine hands all up in everyone's business. He makes sure his friends get the rub and people like me! I get insulted every single time I walk down the ramp, I get forced to be the bad guy. But Bobbi London! A cunt who does nothing, fucking nothing at all to promote this company oh she's Vinnie's golden egg! Lane loves her! Lane gave HER the belt despite her having zero fucking presence! She should get Star of the Month with how Twitter-based she is! Fuck Ned Kaye! He's nothing compared to that morbidly obese cunt!"

"Lacklan, a person who is clearly close to Lane and a cunt whose promos I can barely get halfway through without being bored to tears by, SHE gets all the spotlight on her! Even though she's basically a fucking walking migraine who not a single person has any respect for."

"Cunts like Ruby who is basically Bobbi London in lycra SHE gets the rub!"

"Fucking funny coincidence how they're all girls too! Vinnie Lane is the fucking Harvey Weinstein of the wrestling world! The cunt can't run a show, he can't run a company. Anarchy is biased as fuck, Savage is basically dead in the water and Warfare has Smoking Bob running that shit into the ground! Shit is fucked, cunts!"

"And to prove just how dumb Lane is, he has ME! The sick cunt who has been main eventing Anarchy for the majority of its run! The absolute legend that bullies kids, calls people cunts like its nobodies business and allegedly cheats and still manages to become a fan favourite despite all that! That dumb cunt Lane has me in the death spot against Vita Valenteen."

"A cunt whose been on the shelf longer than a tin of John West."

"Who actually gives a shit about VV? The nice girl, the boring cunt who has impressed no one and has done the bare minimum since losing the Xtreme title. The bitch is too fucking stupid to cash-in at the right time! She does a promo with my boy Edward at War Games, she shows her face and has the perfect opportunity to cash her briefcase, shock the world and become the biggest name in wrestling but no, she fucks that up. The absolute pussy."

"They put me, ME, against someone who fucks that up. Noah Jay, the sick cunt who earned those stupid fucking fans respect despite everything; the absolute mad lad who broke boundaries and flipped the script, letting the cunts backstage think I was just another one off jobber and proving I wasn't, I'm the only person who proved to be a challenge to Santos. Fuck I should have won! But the refs fuck that up! I had a shoulder up, cunts! But nah, Noah doesn't deserve what's owed just give him a win against VV just to keep him happy."

"Well, I am not a happy chappy, cunts."

"I am indeed quite the opposite."

"I've been giving a chance here to prove that I deserve a belt but I still have to jump thru hoops. Despite main eventing, despite proving myself, despite being a sick cunt. Not everyone wants to be a VV building themselves into something before nosediving off the high board into an empty pool with nothing except a bloody imprint to leave at the end.

"I'm Noah Jackson, I deserve that title. I deserve to have my name written in stone. Everyone knows to PUSH NO-"

"HEY!"

I'm interrupted by the shitty cunt kids and their pretty big... Pretty scary dad... Oh shit. he's got a gun! I turn to the cameraman, the only man in my life that actually listens.

"Leg it, cunt!"