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Two Stupid Fags.. and Drezdin - Printable Version

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Two Stupid Fags.. and Drezdin - Peter Fn Gilmour - 08-27-2018 12:45 AM

We open the scene to a shot of Lima, Peru, the next stop on the WARFARE SOUTH AMERICAN TOUR! Fans are gearing up for what anticipates to be a show to remember. The camera shows various parts of the city as people of all ages and sizes go down the streets of the city at a moderate pace as cars and buses do likewise. Seems like any ordinary day in this very tranquil country. Least it's not Venezuela. But we digress.

The scene now shifts to some ancient ruins far away from the city. Tourists come to these ruins to check out its rich history or just to observe. As we see people going up the gigantic stairs of the ruins, we see none other than the KING of Xtreme Peter "Good Gawd all mighty please suck his DICK" Gilmour and his oh so sexy wife Maria Brink taking in the spectacle of the ruins. They walk up some of the stairs and we can see Peter is getting very tired. Must be all those cheeseburgers he had on the plane ride to Lima. But we digress. Peter is in a black IN THIS MOMENT t-shirt and black pants while Maria is dazzling in a all white blouse with her customary white hat adorning her long, blonde hair. The demonic duo seem happy but as we saw, Peter is a little gassed so to speak. Maria stops and looks back at her man who is almost passed out on the stairs.

Maria: Oh come on babe. Stop being so stubborn. I told you to stop eating those cheeseburgers on the plane. You look like someone who just got on a treadmill for only a second. Get up you lazy fuck!

Peter: You watch your mouth woman! And it isn't MY fault that I ate so many burgers. They were pretty good. Too bad I couldn't have more. Stupid stewardesses. They knew how fuckin' sexy I was and they knew I'd take them to the Mile High Club. But I digress.

Maria: There you go thinking with your dick again. Can you please stop that? You're embarrassing me. You should only do that around me. I mean, I AM YOUR WIFE!

Peter smirks wickedly as his wife is none too pleased.

Peter: Heh, I'm sorry my queen. Anyways, these ruins are HUGE aren't they? Hey, you think we'll run into OLMEC? You know I used to watch LEGENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE everyday when I was a kid? That show was the shit! Though I think the host was kind of a douchebag. I really wish Nickelodeon brought it back. I mean they brought back DOUBLE DARE. I mean why not bring back LEGENDS. Hell, I'd even petition to bring back GUTS! and NICK ARCADE!

Maria can only roll her eyes at her husband's stupidity.

Maria: Babe, stop living in the 90's. I don't think we'll be seeing OLMEC and we definitely won't be running into any temple guards either.
Peter: Ah, crap! I was hoping to maybe see the SHRIIIIIIIIIIINE OF THE SILLLVERRR MONKEYYYY!

Maria slaps Peter hard in the face. Peter grabs his cheek which is now red and looks at his bride confused as to why she did that.

Peter: Babe! What the fuck was that for?

Maria: I told you.. nevermind. I'm going to walk around a bit. I'll meet you back here in about 20 minutes.

Maria heads off to check out more of the ruins as Peter is still confused to why his wife slapped the shit out of him. Peter just shrugs his shoulders.

Peter: Heh, guess some people don't want to relive the past. Anyways, since you dorks are here, I might as well talk about last time on WARFARE.

Welp, that match with Drezdin was something else huh? Who knew that it would be so EPIC! I mean it was a Colombian Cartel Match with blocks of YAYO around and was contested in the parking lot. I mean, advantage me eh? But I have to say, Drezdin gave me one hell of a match. So I'll tip my hat to him.

Drezdin, I have to say, you surprised me. Yeah, you did. I mean I thought I was going to have it easy, but you really brought it and hell, you almost beat me. But alas, you succumbed to the mighty power of the KING of Xtreme. And even after throwing me through a windshield, I still came back to beat you with the greatest finisher of all time, the GILMOUR CUTTER! I dropped your punk ass on that car and made it explode on impact. I was lucky to even pin you, though you kicked out JUUUUUST a bit too late. So I did my job so to speak. But even after you became a SUPER SAIYAN, you still wanted more. Heh, I could've sniffed some of that YAYO and became a SUPER SAIYAN as well, but I'd probably go Ultra Instinct and still whoop that ass. But I'm straightedge, so even if I did sniff that cocaine, it wouldn't affect me that much. But I guess we'll never know.

But Drezdin, I must say, you didn't stop. You kept going even after I pinned you. We beat the shit out of each other all over that arena, even into catering. I guess you really wanted to prove yourself to me huh? Well, you did. But sadly, you still lost to me. But hell, beating your ass all over the arena was well worth it and the fans ate it up. We're still not done though. Next chance I get, I'm going to finish what I started and I'll make sure you don't get up.

But something happened while we were fighting in the back. We came face to face with the Tag Team Champions, Bildo and Sebastian Dyke. Two guys I personally want to kill. Seems like while we were fighting we bumped into them and they got all jealous because they saw two REAL MEN duking it out. So they decided to jump in and all HELL broke loose. And now look where we are. This week on WARFARE, we're tag team partners. Who would've thought that two guys who hate each other would be partners. And I've had some weird partners in my day. Morbid Angel anyone? I digress. But we're partners and we go for those tag belts baby. I can only hope that you can put your hatred aside for one night and help me become a 6 time Tag Champ.

Let's be honest Drezdin, I hate those two faggots more than you probably do. So like I said, let's put our hatred for each other to the side and let's kill those two faggots and win those tag belts and shock the world. What do you say? I await your answer.

Now let's get to those two faggots we call tag champs shall we? Bilbo and Sebastian. What a joke. It figures that two faggots would be tag champs. I mean Graves and Caddy were horrible as champs but you two guys take the cake. No wonder the tag team division sucks balls. I mean you two losers fit the bill because you both suck each others tiny cocks. And you call yourself champs? PLEASE! You guys are a fuckin' joke to the division, hell to the entire XWF roster. You guys don't deserve to be tag champs. I feel insulted to even be in the same ring with you two pricks. But the record books will show you guys are champs so you join me and others as tag champs. But we'll all know that me and the partners I've had are WAY better than the two of you. But I digress.

So let's start with Bilbo, Thrilldo, plays with spiked dildo's, whatever the fuck your name is. Dude, you're nothing special bro. You don't impress me much and I'll be glad to wipe that smile off your face. And to think you and Sebastian got GHOST TANK by your side. That wanker couldn't even beat me so what makes you think he can guide you to immortality? Ghost Tank is a washed up piece of shit. And he was Xtreme Champ for some time wasn't he? Too bad he lost the belt. He's a shell of his former self guys. He's not going to help you beat me and Drezdin so you both might as well shine up those belts and hand them over before we send both of you to the hospital.

You think you're hot shit huh guys? BX3 or whatever your lame group is called. Seems like it's BS2. That's bullshit sqaured for you two morons, BX3 wasn't anything to fear. I mean you had ENGY in the group, though my memory of your group alludes me. See, how much I don't care about you two morons, and GHOST TANK? Anyways, Bilbo, you can claim your the biggest dick in the entire XWF, but we all know I GOT THE BIGGEST DICK IN ALL OF WRESTLING! Don't believe me? Ask my wife, and most of the women on this roster. Hell, ask Doc D'Ville. He knows all about the power of the SUPER DICK! But I digress.

Bilbo, let's get something straight here right now. You and Sebastian are a JOKE of tag team and it will be me and Drezdin's pleasure to fuck both of you faggots up and take those belts which sorely need to put on guys with actual talent since I am a former 5 time Tag Champ after all..

But the fact of the matter is, your reign as champs are over and me and Drezdin, even though we hate each other and want to kill each other, we will find a way to co-exist and we are taking those titles and putting them around our sexy waists.
So you and Sebastian better prepare yourselves for the ass kicking of a lifetime. And your little buddy Ghost Tank won't be there to save you. He won't even play a factor in the outcome of the match. Like I said before, we are going to beat the hell out of you two faggots and take those titles for ourselves.

I hope you come prepared and shine those belts up for us because this Wednesday night, we're gonna crush you like we would do to lima beans. See what I did there? Anyways, we're going to end your careers and shock the world. And THAT my friends... IS GOSPEL! See you two faggots in the ring. Don't be late.

Peter laughs wickedly as he begins to walk towards where Maria is. He catches up to her and taps her shoulder. She gets startled but keeps her composure.

Maria: Babe! Don't scare me like that. I could've fell and hurt myself very badly. These stairs are kind of narrow.

Peter: Bah, nothing to worry about my queen. I'm here to protect you. Now let's keep exploring. But let's make it quick. I'm kind of hungry.
Maria: Figures. Fine, we'll stay a few more minutes then go back to the hotel to eat dinner ok?

Peter nods his head as the demonic duo continue to look at the ancient ruins of Lima. We begin to fade out but then we see a statue off in the distance. We get closer.. CLOSER.. CLOSER.. oh my God.. it's.. THE SILVER MONKEY!!!!

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The scene then begins to FADE TO BLACK!