X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS
Slap my ass and call me Sally - Printable Version

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Slap my ass and call me Sally - Sebasstian Dyke - 08-09-2018 09:32 AM

What the fuck did I just witness? Honestly? I'm asking because I feel asleep like halfway through this Vita Valenteen "promo" then when I woke up I was naked in the desert. Or maybe it was a playground I'm not really sure. I just know I had sand in my crack. Either way I eventually made it back to my chill spot thanks to an Uber driver that was more than willing to trade a ride for a world class blowjob. Once I got back to my spot I rewatched her promo which she uploaded to youtube because who doesn't love youtube these days right? Except for Alex Jones that is.

Now when Vita was picked to be part of this match her being greener than the last diarrhea shit that I took wasn't a reason why. No we picked her because she's young, very young. But not too young for Micheal Graves. Cause if there is one thing Graves is good at, since we know winning matches isn't it, it's chasing young girls. How this crazy person isn't in jail for the whole Dolly Waters thing is beyond me but here we are.

I gotta say though listening to Vita give me a history lesson on Graves was great. It really drove home just how much he sucks. He used to do this, he used be that, he used to beat this person, he used to be at the top of the card. Now? Now he can't beat anyone not named Chaos or Gilmour. And no Vita, your partner isn't a main eventer on any card he's booked on, in fact he's the opening match of this card.

It was a ton of fun listening to this Vita hoe who hasn't accomplished a thing except instantly being the ugliest bitch on the roster the second she signed her contract talk shit about how me and Bilbo suck and how we can't win matches and how we are just trolls and yet here we are. Tag team champs. Tag team champs are are giving a Micheal Graves a rematch that he fucking begged for. Begged. Like a dog waiting for scraps at the table. If being a champion and having people beg to face us makes us trolls then bitch you might want to get on board because clearly what we're doing is working and all your doing is opening up that sweet little underraged asshole and waiting for me to ram my boot right up it.

Which is exactly what I am going to do on Saturday when Bilbo and me retain our titles and end the career of someone you seem to have such an affection for. But not before we embarrass him a little.

Hey Micheal I got a joke for you. Just kidding the joke is you. How in God's name you managed to find yourself on the top 50 list of the XWF says a whole hell of a lot about how bad the talent has been in this fed both historically and presently.

You can sit there and try to shit all over me and Bilbo and try to make excuses for why you've lost to us not but twice, blame your partner, blame your advanced age it doesn't matter. All that matters are results. And your results are putrid.

I'm glad to hear though that you have already accepted the inevitable. That you will lose, again and with it your source of income. But don't worry Mikey, I'm sure they're hiring at the local Little Ceasars. How about you get some practice right now and whip me up a pizza. I want the extra most bestest or whatever the fuck they are calling it. Why don't you get that useless ex partner of yours to tug on your balls while you do it? Though knowing him he'd find a way to fuck up even the most basic of tasks.

I bet that basic bitch spends all his free time crying in the corner reminiscing about the good ole days when those King faggots carried him around like their little pet shih tzu in one of those faggy man purses. Guy went from kinda being able to win a match to being an absolute drag on his partners. But you deserve it though. How many times does a guy have to go to the well before he realizes he's gonna drown? It's cool thought right? I'm sure Cadryn does a great job filling your void.