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+--- Thread: BREAKING NEWS!!! (/showthread.php?tid=31213)
BREAKING NEWS!!! - Vincent Lane - 04-06-2018
![[Image: XFlcTV.gif]](https://i.makeagif.com/media/9-27-2015/XFlcTV.gif)
Steve Sayors sits behind a desk shuffling some papers.
![[Image: tumblr_mtn6kcII9M1sgk7llo1_250.gif]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/9c6079c139913af00d3e5016a0753b26/tumblr_mtn6kcII9M1sgk7llo1_250.gif)
Due to the SHOCKING allegations of XWF head and heir to the United Kingdom throne, Vincent Lane, that returning former Universal Champion Azrael Erebus is in fact, and I quote, "genderless" - a claim which has been refuted by Erebus him... her... themself, the XWF has declared that Erebus will undergo a THOROUGH gender check performed by none other than resident penis expert Peter Gilmour before the Bombshell contenders' match at the upcoming Warfare!
BREAKING NEWS!!! - Peter Fn Gilmour - 04-07-2018
I inspect tits and ass Vincent..
re:BREAKING NEWS!!! - Hate Nation J̶̷o̶̷h̶̷n̶̷ Ron Cena - 04-07-2018
(04-07-2018, 09:34 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: I inspect tits and ass Vincent..
Damn bro, way to go above and beyond your usual call of duty. Props.
Hear that boys and girls? Not only will this ugly ass grease ball inspect Mr. or Mrs. Alien's disgusting dick but he's gonna inspect the fuck outta dem tittays and ass cheeks too! Ain't nothin' gonna be able to hide from Gilbert's expertise.
re:BREAKING NEWS!!! - Azrael Erebus - 04-08-2018
(04-06-2018, 05:34 AM)Vincent Lane Said:
Steve Sayors sits behind a desk shuffling some papers.
Due to the SHOCKING allegations of XWF head and heir to the United Kingdom throne, Vincent Lane, that returning former Universal Champion Azrael Erebus is in fact, and I quote, "genderless" - a claim which has been refuted by Erebus him... her... themself, the XWF has declared that Erebus will undergo a THOROUGH gender check performed by none other than resident penis expert Peter Gilmour before the Bombshell contenders' match at the upcoming Warfare!
"Okay, Mr. Lane. Fuck it. If that's what you need to do for you to solidly believe that I'm a man. Fine. I'm in... on two conditions."
"One. The inspection has to occur AFTER my match."
"Two. I'm going to either require a fluffer or toss me a handful of Viagra cause my dick won't jump to attention with Peter's hand flopping and flailing around down inside my trousers. It just won't. In fact, it might invert higher up. So if Peter getting a big ol' handful of alien cock is what will satisfy you and allow us to move past this, you'll simply have to meet me halfway and allow the contingencies that I specified, in order to make it happen."
BREAKING NEWS!!! - Peter Fn Gilmour - 04-09-2018
So u know I'm not inspecting anything.
re:BREAKING NEWS!!! - Vincent Lane - 04-09-2018
Mister or Missus Erebus... sorry dude, I'm not sure what your pronouns are but my lady wants me to try and stay as hashtag woke as possible...
How could it possibly take place after your match when your match is specifically designed as a gender-dependent contendership? What if you WIN? Like, dude, we've come a long way in the XWF and stuff... like we installed those trans bathrooms last year even without the federal government stepping in to force us to. Since after all, we both know that the legislature of whatever state our office happens to be in right now would never lift a finger to help us decide those sorts of things... but I think it would be bad form to allow a man to be the top contender for the Bombshell Title! That wouldn't be fair to Mandii and her absolutely verified and 100% perfect vagina.
You seen the conundrum we're in here, right Az?
BREAKING NEWS!!! - Azrael Erebus - 04-09-2018
"It's Mister."
"You know, like in Mr. Satellite or Mr. Supernova."
"In other words I'm a man, man."
"If you have to go through with this malarkey before the match, then I guess you better go for the fluffer option, lest you shoot for the Viagra but that means I'm wrestling with a fucking hard on and I'm pretty sure the ladies wouldn't appreciate that. Otherwise, you better throw Petter some salad tongs and have him go fishing for my dick cause it won't be making a showing with him near it. On a personal note though, I really would prefer that you not go in the salad tongs direction. This shit is weird enough as it is..."
re:BREAKING NEWS!!! - Vincent Lane - 04-09-2018
I'll see if Maria Brink is busy, she can fluff you good. Or would you prefer Benny BJ? I don't want to assume your preferences, ma'am.
Oh, and I never met those two dudes you mentioned dude. Were they like Mr. Radio?
BREAKING NEWS!!! - Benny Blowjobs - 04-09-2018
You rang?
What can I do you for boss?
Literally. How much would it cost to do you?
re:BREAKING NEWS!!! - Vincent Lane - 04-09-2018
Whoa dude! I am totally off the market, my friend. BUT, we do seem to need someone to get Azrael engorged.
BREAKING NEWS!!! - Benny Blowjobs - 04-09-2018
Say no more boss!
Azzy baby. Come on over here and let me get you to full mast. Free of charge just this once. But don't tell anyone though. I can't afford to be giving out blowies for free.
re:BREAKING NEWS!!! - Azrael Erebus - 04-11-2018
(04-09-2018, 06:05 PM)Vincent Lane Said: I'll see if Maria Brink is busy, she can fluff you good. Or would you prefer Benny BJ? I don't want to assume your preferences, ma'am.
Oh, and I never met those two dudes you mentioned dude. Were they like Mr. Radio?
"My preferences? My preference is... yes. As in I'm not picky. Not in the slightest. Men, women, beings that have both traits and others that have neither. In my long life, I've experienced all of the above."
"Maria Brink is on the same level as Gilmour. My cock will crawl further up inside me, before risking exposure. In fact, if for some reason it did show itself; of its own willing accord, it most assuredly would instantly drop off my body, develop legs and a tiny mouth and run screaming from the ring."
"Mr. Satellite and Mr. Supernova are the same singular vessel. Me. Those were past names that I wrestled under."
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=31041&pid=134980#pid134980
"You really are terrible at your job, aren't you? I mean, I remember the effort you put forth mentally in the past and at the current, that past Vinnie Lane seems like a rocket scientist compared to the current one. If I hand you a metal fork and walk away, realistically what are the odds that if I come back in an hour, I'll find you laying on the floor twitching cause you shoved it in an electrical outlet? I think they're pretty high. I'm willing to wager there's a good 99.5% chance of that happening."
Azrael snaps his fingers and a metal fork appears on the floor in front of Vinnie Lane.
"I'm just going to leave that there."
Azrael strolls off whistling a happy tune.
re:BREAKING NEWS!!! - Vincent Lane - 04-11-2018
Geez Az, that's not a very nice thing to say to your boss, especially a boss who is totally undefeated in the ring against you.
Are you on your period?
Vinnie no-sells the fork completely, as if it were an injury suffered by Peter Gilmour.
BREAKING NEWS!!! - Peter Fn Gilmour - 04-11-2018
Maria will be too busy getting her vagina filled with my super dick so stfu vinnie