You wanna hear a story?

Of course you do!

So one time, there was this overly fat dude. I mean, this dude was goddamn gastrically gifted, you know?

Fat as shit.

So, this fat shit had this overly inflated ego, only exacerbated by every piece of cake he shoved in his cockholster. That's right, every time fat shit took a bite, he gained another 10 points of ego inflation. Crazy, right? I mean, having an inflated ego can be entertaining, but not in this case. The motherfucker was about as lackluster as losing your virginity to the crease between your best friends couch cushions on prom night. So day after day, ole boy kept on talking about the greatness he'd achieved while simultaneously keeping Long John Silvers afloat. Remember that inflated ego I mentioned earlier? It all seemingly stemmed from a laundry list of "Achievements" that was even less stellar than prom night. But this son of a bitch kept on chuggin, son. He never gave up! So one day he finally manages to dig up some type of "talent" and manages to beat an even less talented individual. Which honestly, it wasn't the victory that was impressive, it was the fact that he found someone less talented than himself. I never knew a person of that caliber existed. On a side note, if he'd just lift a fat roll, the smell of molding Cheetos and dried semen would probably force any opponent to call it quits.

But, I digress.

So now we have this obese Oscar The Grouch ogre running around flashing his brand new victory in everyone's face, and acting like he's God's gift.

Shameful.

Motherfuckers need to learn to stay in their lane.

And that's where I come in.

Plot twist: I was reciting your autobiography, Pete.

I figured I'd clarify in case the fat on your brain managed to cause you some comprehension problems.

You want my spot in The Kings™?

Come get it, bitch.

I'll gladly wipe the fuckin' floor with your fat ass, take your title, and continue my reign as Jester™.

The Essence Of Excellence specializes in laying waste to like you who talk a huge game.

I beat respect into motherrfuckers who have none, and I humble the masses.

The amount of fuckery I am about to rain down upon you will flood your world worse than Katrina flooded New Orleans.

Get ready, fuckstick.

Daddy's back.

(09-15-2017, 07:08 AM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: Such a touching story about your mother caddy. Go back to sucking Samuels, theo and doc off.

U ain't getting anywhere near my title. Your spot in the kings is over and when I join, the kings will be unstoppable

(09-15-2017, 07:23 AM)The Jester™ - Cadryn Tiberius Said:

(09-15-2017, 07:08 AM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: Such a touching story about your mother caddy. Go back to sucking Samuels, theo and doc off.

U ain't getting anywhere near my title. Your spot in the kings is over and when I join, the kings will be unstoppable

This fuckin' guy, man..

How you gonna present me with a challenge and then tuck your tail and run?

You're a fucking disgrace to that title.

It's obvious you don't have an ounce of Hart.

(09-15-2017, 07:23 AM)The Jester™ - Cadryn Tiberius Said:

(09-15-2017, 07:08 AM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: Such a touching story about your mother caddy. Go back to sucking Samuels, theo and doc off.

U ain't getting anywhere near my title. Your spot in the kings is over and when I join, the kings will be unstoppable

This fuckin' guy, man..

How you gonna present me with a challenge and then tuck your tail and run?

You're a fucking disgrace to that title.

It's obvious you don't have an ounce of Hart.

(09-15-2017, 07:49 AM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: But yet I've held the title more times than u so stfu caddy

Ohhhh, sick burn, dawg.

You got me good, bud.

I should probably quit while I'm ahead.


Just kidding.

You're about as effective as your daily dosage of Hydroxycut.

Do you think you're going to win? Do you honestly think you can beat the Reflection Of Perfection that is Cadryn Tiberius?

I mean, you've led me to believe you're slightly , so you probably do believe it.

Pray.

That's all I can say.

Pray for the good Lord to carry you through, because like Sully, you'll need a miracle landing after the plane that is your title run crashes into the immovable object that is The Essence of Excellence.

(09-15-2017, 07:20 AM)Theo Pryce Said: Uhhhh Pete, in order for you to get a spot in The Kings™ you would have to beat The Jester™ in a Hart title match. Which would mean that he has to be near your title. They kinda go hand in hand. Like you and type two diabetes.

(09-15-2017, 01:54 PM)John Holliday Said:

(09-15-2017, 07:20 AM)Theo Pryce Said: Uhhhh Pete, in order for you to get a spot in The Kings™ you would have to beat The Jester™ in a Hart title match. Which would mean that he has to be near your title. They kinda go hand in hand. Like you and type two diabetes.

"Soooooo. If I win the Hart title, does that mean I get to be a king? That'd be sweet dude."

(09-15-2017, 05:41 PM)The Jester™ - Cadryn Tiberius Said:

(09-15-2017, 01:54 PM)John Holliday Said:

(09-15-2017, 07:20 AM)Theo Pryce Said: Uhhhh Pete, in order for you to get a spot in The Kings™ you would have to beat The Jester™ in a Hart title match. Which would mean that he has to be near your title. They kinda go hand in hand. Like you and type two diabetes.

"Soooooo. If I win the Hart title, does that mean I get to be a king? That'd be sweet dude."

Remember how I said someone worse than Gilmour?

Yeah..

How ya doing?

A nickels worth of free advice: Stay in your lane, you don't want these problems.

"Oh shit. Were you talking? I'm sorry. I can't speak jester. You're going to have to speak English dude."