X-treme Wrestling Federation
Walmart - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: Walmart (/showthread.php?tid=25651)

Pages: 1 2

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-20-2016

I'm waiting for you at Walmart..

Walmart - Thaddeus Duke - 11-20-2016

That's...






great.


*Under his breath creep.

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-20-2016

I find it ironic that you call me a creep when you clearly have been following me through Walmart.




...creep.

re:Walmart - Jakob Davis - 11-20-2016

Jakob was walking through his local Wal-Mart when suddenly he got a text message on his phone.

[Image: JaEbeDF.png]

Jakob looks around. Behind him. On both sides. No man or woman was looking towards him or implied that they wanted him to come towards them. Deciding best that the text was meant for someone else, Jakob presses on through the store.

re:Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-20-2016

I wouldn't press on too far, sweetheart.

Come find me in the cereal aisle, it'll be magically delicious.

Walmart - Thaddeus Duke - 11-20-2016

....

Good point.

re:Walmart - Jakob Davis - 11-20-2016

As Jakob is walking through Wal-Mart, his phone buzzes again with a text message. Or two, in this case.

[Image: iZprYy8.png]

Jakob was about ready to ignore the messages AGAIN, but then he thought of the prospect that awaited him. A potential hot girl who was more than ready to show him a good time... Jakob's face began blushing in shame, but that shame didn't stop him from shuffling his feet towards the cereal aisle.

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-20-2016

I've been known to show men like you a good time. I wouldn't so much call myself a hot girl, but come to my aisle and I will gladly Cap'n Crunch that ass.

[Image: 2jeb6sk.jpg%5B]

re:Walmart - Tommy Wish - 11-20-2016

Cowboi, are you Frodo in drag or something, because what you just said seemed... rapey.

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-20-2016

Rapey is such a terrible word. Let's call it a "Chloroform induced slumber party in the cereal aisle".

...yeah, that has a nice ring to it.

Walmart - drezdin5788 - 11-21-2016

That's gotta be frodos brother

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-21-2016

Well, I'm not sure who Frodo is, but I'm fairly certain we aren't related.

However, you're also more than welcome to join me in the cereal aisle.

I'd love to show you my Trix.

re:Walmart - "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves - 11-21-2016

Micheal Graves is sitting in an airport waiting lounge.

[Image: image.png]

Yeah, I've never done too well with comedy.

Micheal puts his phone back into his pocket and continues to wait for his flight to begin loading.

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-21-2016

It looks as though I should change my number, it seems to be the flavor of the week right now.

I find it odd to hear you say you were at the airport. I could have sworn you were the Gene Simmons looking old man hiding behind every aisle I went through.

It's okay though, really. I'd probably try to get ahold of these Fruity Pebbles if I were you, as well.

Just remember Sugarbear, I'm not your daily bowl of Bran Flakes.

You couldn't handle these Coco Puffs.

re:Walmart - "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves - 11-21-2016

Sill sitting at the Pittsburgh International Airport, awaiting his boarding time to be called. My phone rings and its Cadryn. I hit the button to accept the call and bring the device to my ear.

Hello?

Cadryns snarky voice can be heard on the other side of the call.

"It looks as though I should change my number, it seems to be the flavor of the week right now.

I find it odd to hear you say you were at the airport. I could have sworn you were the Gene Simmons looking old man hiding behind every aisle I went through.

It's okay though, really. I'd probably try to get ahold of these Fruity Pebbles if I were you, as well.

Just remember Sugarbear, I'm not your daily bowl of Bran Flakes.

You couldn't handle these Coco Puffs."


Whatever dude, I was just trying to throw some more cereal puns your way. As far as the guy stalking you at Wal-Mart, you may want to check that other Graves character out, because this one has no interest in your silly Trix. I've got my own Honeycomb waiting for me at home.

Micheal ends the call just as they announce the boarding of his flight.

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-21-2016

Ah, Mr. Graves. It appears as though you may need a little chap stick for that ever present asschapping that seems to be taking place.

As much as I'd love to quarrel with you more, I can't bring myself to waste anymore of my magically delicious puns on someone so delicate as yourself.

Best of luck with your Honey Bunches of Old, and by that I mean your "Honeycomb".

Ah, I wasted another pun.

Oh well.

*Cadryn finally makes his way towards the self check out, completing his lovely and productive trip to Walmart.*

Walmart - "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves - 11-21-2016

.::obviously Cadryn called back, but why did Micheal answer?::.

Fair enough my man, I'm sure we'll meet again in a more professional environment. Just answer me one question... Why did you spend an entire 24 plus hour day standing in the Wal-Mart cereal aisle?

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-21-2016

*Cadryn finally makes it to his car when out of the blue, his phone rings. It's Graves. Cadryn listens for a moment before chiming in.*

The chances of us meeting in a more professional environment is slim to none, my friend. When I think of my career here in the XWF it paints a picture of opportunity and promise. Something you obviously haven't had in many years. I mean, they hired someone to replace you, and even gave him your gimmick.

As for my time in Walmart, that's neither here nor there.

As much as I always enjoy our phone calls, I must say goodbye.

*Cadryn ends the call, smiling slightly, he begins his journey back home.*

re:Walmart - "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves - 11-21-2016

.::As The call to Micheal abruptly ends, the expression on Micheals face changes to express just how high his salt levels have risen. "Who in the fuck does this guy think he is?" Micheal wonders, before muttering to himself.::.

Yeah, now I'm sure that we are going to meet again, assuming you've learned how to show up for a match over the last year.

.::Micheal switches his phone to airplane mode as he awaits take off. ::.

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-21-2016

*As it turns out neither Graves nor Cadryn understand how phones work. As Cadryn proceeds home he realizes Graves voice is still emitting from the speaker of his phone.*

"Yeah, now I'm sure that we are going to meet again, assuming you've learned how to show up for a match over the last year."

*The phone call abruptly ends, leaving Cadryn at a temporary loss of words. A few seconds pass before his thoughts become coherent once more."

...Okay, first of all crotch goblin, I showed up for both of my matches last year.

And I lost both of them, thank you very much.

Wait..

Ah, shit. That sounds worse than no showing them.

Wait..

This asshole has me talking to myself..

*Upset that Graves has him talking to himself, he furiously spams redial on his phone. The call goes straight to voicemail.*

...that son of a bitch. Maybe he's right. Maybe it is time we meet on a more professional level.

*Cadryn hurrily exits his car and proceeds to storm away into his moms house.*

Walmart - Broken Hart - 11-21-2016

"You two really need to get a room. Jesus W. Christ..."

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-21-2016

I've already got a room...

At my moms...

With a twin size bed...

No girls allowed, though.

Walmart - Snow - 11-21-2016

Funny. I've got a room too. No guys allowed. XD

Walmart - Tommy Gunn - 11-21-2016

Were you abused by your dad or do you just have a thing for fish?

I'm not judging, just curious.

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-21-2016

That sounds terrible.

Guys are definitely allowed in my room..

Mom says we can't play twister anymore, though.

re:Walmart - Snow - 11-21-2016

(11-21-2016, 05:40 PM)Tommy Gunn Said: Were you abused by your dad or do you just have a thing for fish? I'm not judging, just curious.

Women are nice an' smooth an' soft. They're lovely. ^__^

(11-21-2016, 05:41 PM)Cadryn Tiberius Said: That sounds terrible. Guys are definitely allowed in my room.. Mom says we can't play twister anymore, though.

Speakin' "fish", yer 'bout as fishy as they come. But'cha play Twister? Of the naked variety? XD

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-21-2016

It was of the naked variety, until mom caught us...

Walmart - Snow - 11-21-2016

Ain't nothin' wromg wit' a little Naked Twister time an' again, trust! XD

Tell that bitch that yer grown, ya got a set ah balls and ya can do what'cha want, WHEN ya want. Bottom line, brutha.

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-22-2016

Her house, her rules. No Twister for me.

Walmart - "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves - 11-22-2016

As Micheal is collecting his baggage at his destination, he realizes that he received a voicemail while his phone was in airplane mode. Micheal presses play and recognizes the voice as Cadryn's. Micheal listens to the voice mail and snickers to himself before pressing redial.

What? I wasn't serious about that shit man, but if you really want to meet up in the ring, I'm sure we can work something out, after I take care of some personal business.

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-22-2016

Well, I wouldn't be opposed to such an idea.

It's definitely more enticing than the autistic pirate that I spoke to previously.

Then again, I'm not sure I'm comfortable besting someone with a stolen gimmick.

Maybe I'll stick with Downy The Pirate...

re:Walmart - "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves - 11-22-2016

Downey the Pirate, what are you going on about exactly?

Listen up Cadryn, I don't have a problem with you. You're a funny guy, I like funny guys. They fill the under card nicely. I however, am not a funny guy. So stick with whoever Downey the clown is, I'm sure that will suit you better.

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-22-2016

Ah, yes. You'll have to forgive me for being vague.

I keep forgetting the XWF has more than one autistic pirate.

Specifically, I was speaking of Snow.

As for you, Mr.Graves, I find you utterly hilarious. I find it humorous that you think I belong on the undercard with you. I also find it funny that in all of your creative glory, you couldn't come up with an original gimmick. Or, if that is an original gimmick, it's an even bigger joke than I anticipated.

Either way, I look forward to our inevitable dance.

I'll be the last partner you'll ever need, sweetheart.

re:Walmart - "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves - 11-22-2016

ooc: I typed a response on my phone, but lost it while trying to add color so...

[Image: 2ex5yrm.gif]

No Cadryn, I don't believe I want to meet you. That's not what XWF is about.

Enjoy your day.

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-22-2016

Well if that ain't a goddamn game changer...

Shit..

Um, well, about that...

I..

Ah, fuck it. Well played Graves, you win this round.

Walmart - "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves - 11-22-2016

Don't worry Cadryn, no hard feelings. As a matter of fact, I bought you something as a show of good faith.

[Image: 1zx13xl.jpg]

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-22-2016

I concede to you like a gentleman, and you continue to berate me like a barbarian.

I'd be less inclined to continue this battle, generally speaking.

But there is something about your terrible, imitation dollar general Joker costume and persona that intrigues me.

And just because you found a picture of me with another man doesn't change the fact that a gentleman in the sheets can still be a killer in the streets.

Cereal killer. Get it? I murder cereal.

Seriously though, where can I get a tube of that baby butt hurt?

I'd love to have some to give to you, after I'm done with your ass.

Take that any way you'd like, sugar.

re:Walmart - Jervis Cottonbelly - 11-22-2016

*Faints*

Walmart - "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves - 11-22-2016

You can find it at Dollar Tree. A guy can't afford to shop at Walmart when he squanders away all of his XWF earnings like I did.

Walmart - Cadryn Tiberius - 11-22-2016

Ah, you've tugged on my heart strings, Mr. Graves.

I tell you what, two exquisite men of our intellectual capacity shouldn't be squandering our talent away trash talking each other.

It's apparent that we caused poor Jervis some distress.

How about we share a bowl of cereal, I'll let you be the big spoon.

Erm..

I mean use my big spoon..

Uh..

Use THE big spoon, yeah, that's it.