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Boat Ride In The Past - Printable Version

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Boat Ride In The Past - Hero Xtreme 7.9 - 04-03-2015

1492

Christopher Columbus is drinking some wine while in the captain's quarter of one of his ships. NOCMM enters the quarter and starts shaking things and moaning like a ghost. Christopher Columbus is so scared that he spills his red wine all over his pants and runs out of the quarters. His pantaloons are super red now.

3rd Mate: Look everyone! Christopher Columbus's pants are red!

2nd Mate: It's red right where his vagina would be it is!

4th Mate: Christopher Columbus is a woman with a bloody vagina!

5th Mate: He's ovulating, he is!

All the crew members start chanting "Chris is a lady" like there is something wrong with being a lady. Next they start chanting "He has two X chromosomes which makes him below us" so misogynistic.

Christopher Columbus's face gets really red and then NOCMM throws pepperonis at the back of his neck. That freaks Christopher Columbus out and he shits himself. The crew heard the farts and sound the shit made when it squeaked out of his asshole so they start calling him "Poopy pants". Christopher Columbus is so embarrassed and scared of the ghost that he climbs up the mast, ties a noose around his neck and jumps off.

Shortly after Columbus dies and goes to Hell and his crew eats his body. NOCMM puts on an eye-patch and starts steering the boat, but why? What did he need Christopher's Columbus's boat for? And was he trying to get Chris bullied into suicide? Is that against God's will? The scene fades to an Xtreme shade of black.